Danielle Oldroyd Psychology 1100 Life Analysis

In analyzing my life and experiences and tying them into what I learn in class, I will start with my moms pregnancy to early childhood then to middle and late childhood, then to my adolescence. I will also be talking about my early adulthood and then to what I perceive my middle and late adulthood was like.

Early Childhood As I discussed with my mom, her pregnancy, she told me that it was a good pregnancy. She didnt have morning sickness that much but she did have heartburn all throughout her pregnancy. She was in labor for 9 hours and I was posterior, which means that my face was facing up rather than down. I was born at 39 weeks and was 6 lbs 7 oz. and 18 inches long. I was a healthy baby and would rarely cry. My mom describes my temperament as easy and that I was always happy and smiling. My mom said we had synchrony, we both loved to cuddle and our relationship just came easy to us but did not have goodness of fit with my dad. I was cuddly and he was not. I was an early talker and I always had a lot to say. I began walking at 8 months of age and skipped crawling all together. I was always an on-the-go toddler but I had a secure attachment to my mom. She said that I didnt really go through the terrible two stages and I was just easy going. I had self awareness as I loved to look into the mirror and dance or pretend to do my makeup. I was cared for by my mother but occasionally was babysat by my grandparents. In my early childhood between the ages of 2-6 years old I was a very active child. At the age of 3, I started dance lessons which I did ballet and tap. I believed I could do anything that my older brother could do which probably lead to the tragic event I remember when I was 3 yrs. old. I was running up and down my moms black car during the summer, only because my older brother was doing it. He had shoes on and I, of course, never wore shoes so I ended up sticking to the car burning my hands and feet until my mom came to pull me off. I do remember her rushing me to the sink but I have no recollection between then and my arrival home. My hands and feet were wrapped up and I was unable to walk or crawl for 2 months; I had to sit and sleep in this big buggy in my living room. My mom had to feed me and I could do nothing but watch T.V. I was miserable.

I attended a home preschool that a neighbor held in her basement at the age of 4. I was a very imaginative child that could play alone or with friends or my older brother which would be considered cooperative play. I had a very outgoing personality, which my brother did not so I would always make sure I would speak for him. I was also a little dare devil and wasn't afraid of too many things. I was considered to be an emotionally stable child; I wasnt over sensitive and had good self- esteem. My parents were very different in their parenting styles. My mom was a permissive parent that wouldnt punish us. Instead, she would send us to our rooms or would say Just wait until your dad gets home. My dad was an authoritarian parent; rules are rules no discussion if we disobeyed, we would get spanked. I would consider myself a girly girl. I loved pink, played with baby dolls and Barbies. I easily recognized the distinctive gender roles that were in my home as I pretended to be a mom and do all the "mommy things". At the same time, I was just as boy as my brother and could keep up with climbing trees and building forts. When I was growing up we ate dinner at the table together every evening. Our evenings were a little earlier than most because my dad worked the graveyard shift, so we would come home from school eat dinner around 4:00 as a family. We would have to eat everything on our plates before we could be excused from the table whether we were full or not. I would sometimes shove all my food in my mouth and then say I needed to use bathroom just to spit it out in the toilet and return to my dreaded spot. Otherwise, I would sit there for hours because I refused to eat something I did not like. We wouldnt have arguments at the table. It was the time to eat and that was it, no talking.

Middle and Late Childhood By age 7, I was diagnosed with childhood asthma. I remember my first attack; my mom was on the phone and I couldnt breathe or talk and I was trying to tell my mom but she thought I was faking so she dismissed me. I finally got her attention and she stuck me in the bathroom with the hot shower running to breathe in the steam. After what seemed like 15 minutes of that with no success I went to the hospital. I dont remember how I got there but I remember being in the room and breathing into the nebulizer. I had to take the nebulizer home and do it every day for a couple of months then I could use a inhaler when I needed it. I was a very active child, I was always playing outside. We use to make huts and club houses. We would have car washes and lemonade stands. We had a lip singing band in our garage and had a concert for our neighborhood. We entered a contest to win a go cart for our club and it was our mistake to put our neighbor/ friend's name on

all the ballots. She won and her dad said it was just hers, so we borrowed it without him knowing and rode it around the church parking lot until he caught us. At age 9, my parents got a divorce and my mother started working nights, leaving us kid at home in the care of my 12 year old brother. She would usually give us $20 and tell us to walk over to Smith's and get some dinner or order take out. My brother wasnt very responsible so I ended up taking care of my 4 yr old brother. My mom started leaving more money and leaving us longer to fend for ourselves. We didnt mind though, we felt capable in our situation. We didnt want to say anything to my dad because he was such a authoritarian parent. We didnt want to get my mom in trouble so we would make excuses up for her and see him every other weekend. At this point, I do think I had a lot of resilience to overcome adversity in my life. I lived in a single parent home but really without the parental supervision for just under 2 years. My mom than was in a car accident and was unable to work or provide for us so we had to go live with my dad when I was eleven. Thats when I became the woman of the house or at least I thought so. I was required to cook dinner occasionally, clean the house, sometimes do the laundry and care for my younger brother when my dad was not there. I was bothered that my dad was so traditional. He believed that women didnt shovel the walks or mow the lawn but I would watch him closely and learn how, myself. Adolescence When I was about 11 yrs old I went from a single parent home to a blended family home. My dad married a lady with 3 kids of her own. She had 2 girls, 1 boy all older than me. I thought it was pretty cool at first. Sisters! Boy, was I wrong. They made it very clear that I was not their sister. I think we all had a hard time adjusting to eachother and Im not sure we ever did. My Step-Mother made it clear that she didnt really like me and made me believe my dad didnt either. We fought a lot and it didnt help that I was not included in any thing she did with her girls and always kept me on the side lines. When they first got married I thought I might finally have a mother- one like I use to have before my parent got a divorce- but reality set in quickly. I had my menarche at this time and you could say with four women in the house it was a very hormonal house, that probably didnt help things. I feel like I matured physically faster than everyone around me, could be due to the extra stress I was feeling. I felt embarrassed of my breast size so I would wear big shirts and slouch when I walked. Because of the constant fighting at my dads home, I moved in with my mom, her husband, and my two new baby sisters. When I lived with my mom, I felt like I was a slave. I watched my sisters while my parents would go out all the time-- sometimes all night. I didnt go out with my

friends very often. I felt that my mom was a very permissive parent because she wanted to be my best friend instead of the role model I so desperately wanted. She would get drunk at home and offer me alcohol. She would buy clothing to match mine and compare body types all the time; always commenting that she fits in my clothes better than me like we were in a competition. My brother would make comments like "chubby" just because he knew I was starting to get sensitive about myself. My self-esteem was low and I just wanted to get out of there. My mom and her husband had a toxic relationship and I was stuck in the middle feeling like I had to protect my sisters. I saw a lot of things I could never un-see and felt trapped which one could assume was my personal fable. Then I found myself dating a guy very seriously who was very controlling and abusive. I definitely felt invincible and thought I could handle anything. We engaged in premarital sex resulting in a pregnancy at the age of 16. He decided that he did not want to be involved at all and I ended up having the baby, alone. I moved back into my fathers home and I finished high school. I went to medical assisting school so I could support my baby. I became closer with my parents as I became a parent myself. My parents supported me as I set new goals for myself. I suppose because I had a baby they didnt keep close tabs on me. I didnt have many friends and didnt date a whole lot so there wasnt much reason to keep me under close watch. I think thats when I grew up the most. No longer thinking of myself but the needs of my daughter. She came before anything else because now, she was my world. Early Adulthood I started working when I was 18 at a doctors office while my daughter went to daycare. I had a great self-esteem and was becoming self sufficient. I than began dating my childhood friend and we got married when I was 19 years old. We lived in an apartment for about 8 months until we decided that we wanted to buy a house. We bought our first house and both continued to work full time. I started a new job and had a chance to do some traveling for work. When I was 20, we decided to try and conceive another baby. We tried for a year without intervention and when we didnt have any luck we decided to get testing as to why we might not be able to have children together. We did not accept the results as they were, so we saw specialist after specialist and finally started fertility treatment. After several miscarriages I went through depression and after 3 years of trying, we got pregnant with our second baby girl. I quit my job and stayed home to raise our daughters. We bought a new home and learned to live frugal. This is when religion made a big debut and changed my whole life perspective. Soon after, I met my best friends and developed a social life again. I have had two more children and have been a stay at home mom for eleven years before I decided to go back to school to become a nurse. I have always wanted

to go back and now that my youngest is in first grade, I had the time to go back without interfering with my kids schedule. I am still a very involved mom with my kids. I volunteer in my kids school, I help my grandparents out with their house work, and still occasionally struggle with my identity- assuming that it is normal for a mother. I know I have learned from my parents' mistakes and I am a better parent and spouse because of it. Both my husband and I are authoritative parents. I wasnt a big risk taker when I was a young adult and probably shouldnt be now, but for my 15th wedding anniversary I took my husband skydiving. It was exhilarating! As I grow older, I imagine continuing my education, graduating college and becoming a registered nurse. Middle Adulthood Between ages 40-50 I see myself in great health as I exercise and watch what I eat. I am a registered nurse working a couple nights a week at the hospital in the ICU or NICU. My husband will be promoted to VP of his department. I will have 2 teenagers left at home and one daughter finishing up college. My oldest daughter will have graduated college, married and working on her family. That may mean I will be grandma but hopefully that will happen when I'm closer to my mid-40's. My husbands family is very close and has familism and I do wish that for my own growing family. Our family will get together every Sunday to have dinner because family dinners will still be important to us. We might be in the sandwich generation helping take care of my husbands parents as they will be between the ages of 69-79 yrs old. From ages 50 to 60 years old, our youngest kids will be finishing up college, getting married and having children. I will be working part-time and enjoying my grandchildren. My husband will be at the top of his career and we will have a good amount of money in savings. We will be able to travel for business and pleasure. I will be doing short tours in third world countries to help with medical needs and vaccinations with my eldest daughter. When I am home, I will be able to spend time with my grandchildren and take them on "special grandma dates". I will be helping my parents and my husbands parents with house work and any other necessary needs. I have gone through menopause and my problems with migraines are in the past. I continue with a healthy life style and I am looking forward to the future.

Late Adulthood After the age of 60 I will be preparing to retire with my dear sweet husband. We will have saved enough money to serve on an 18 month LDS mission, perhaps a different country. With consideration to my family history of diabetes, stroke and heart disease, I would have to say that I am still in pretty good health because I have kept up on my daily exercise and healthy lifestyle. I am going to love seeing my children raise

children of their own. I know I will have the loss of my parents and my in-laws and that will be hard. I will be looking forward to learning new things and keeping my mind strong. I would love to learn how to play an instrument like the guitar and learn how to oil paint. Hopefully my arthritis wont be too bad. My husband and I will be taking cruises and experience in new things as long as we can travel. As I began to age I see myself growing old with my husband and being just as in love as ever. I will be the kind of wife that will still cook dinner and make lunch at the same time keeping a strict routine every day. I imagine as we get older and more disabled that our grandchildren will come and visit us as least once a month and we will be invited to dinners every Sunday alternating our kids houses. We will fill our family with traditions that they will want to carry on in their families and so on. As I come upon my death bed I see myself dying peacefully in my sleep between the ages of 87-94. Im going when I was still somewhat mobile and not totally dependent on others. It would be before I start to lose memory of my loved ones, where I'm at, and who I am. I want to go when I've lived a full, happy, succesful life without the pain and suffering. .