Sanjeev Ranjan

CHAPTER 1
28th April, 08 3:00 pm.
t has been ten months of that brooding June of last summer. I still remember everything before it vanishes into my other memories. I still remember that moment of pain when my relationship shattered in front of my own eyes, and my love walked away from me. Ive arrived at a stage in my life where Im actually going through the burden of certain memories. The way it intensifies as time goes by, leaves me shattered. The worst experience is to face how your once happiest lived moments could give you the most terrible nightmares youve ever had. People say if you treat your past with nonchalance, it wont taint your present. I dont know how true this is, but my past, which I have tried to bury to keep out the tendrils of those thoughts out of my mind and out of my heart with great effort, still claws its way out. Looking back at my life now, I realize how I still peek into that deserted and baseless relationship, that seed of hope which I have planted in the desert of ruin, which I nurtured with my love, with my honest feelings, but it could only reap fruits of nostalgic pain to me. The pain of love is still flowing in my veins, the pain that I am carrying today and going back to my home with. Where are Manav and Saksham? They are so irresponsible!

In Course Of True Love

They havent even placed their bags on the top of the bus? Firoz says, frowning at me. The Bus is about to start in five minutes. I dont know. I havent seen him for the last ten minutes. May be, they are around some nearby cold drinks shop, I say quietly. I look around but cant catch the sight of them. April in Bokaro is a very hot and a torrid month. The Sun is fierce and almost parches the earth. Sometimes, it hides in the clouds and peeps out after a moment. Rains are intermittent and even when they deign to fall, it is only to break this heat; glittering sunshine in a short spell of rain in every two days, sometimes three, providing some momentary relief from the incessant heat. But today, there seems to be no sign of rain. It is around 3:00 pm and the Sun is still high, beating down mercilessly on our heads. I will go and check out for Saksham and Manav, I say to Firoz, moving forward to start the pursuit. After crossing the labyrinth of the road, I catch sight of them and I know I am correct about them; they are indeed at one of the small cold drinks shops with a gabled roof. I take long strides to reach them quickly. The conductor was asking if you two have tied your luggage either on the top of the bus or at the back side, I say, panting and breathless, placing my hand on Sakshams shoulder. The two of them, stop talking and look around at me. They grunt with no reply. Their grave look leads me to slip off my hand. If you have any more bags to load, hurry and load them up. The bus is about to start. Come soon. I buy water bottles and leave the place. It always vexes me not to get a reply, not even a nod or a single word.

Sanjeev Ranjan

Things are no more same as they used to be. Everyone and everything has changed. The two of them, Manav and Saksham, were once my best friends and today, now they dont even speak to me properly. I never know the reasons except that there is a rift in our friendship; the closeness we once shared is no more. Two years, and everything has changed so drastically. Despite every change, one thing never changed, and will never changemy love for her, my feelings for her. One thing never drifted away- my mind away from her. The images are forever etched in my mind. By the time I reach back, people have already started boarding the bus. I rush towards the bus. Firoz is already on his seat. I settle at my seat, afar from them, a few rows behind. They booked my ticket without letting me know. Soon, the four of them engage themselves in some babble. I look over at them; no one cares to look back at me. As the bus regains its speed, my heart starts beating faster and a pang of nostalgia envelops me. I tilt my head towards the window pane through which the Sun rays are still streaming. They fall over me soothingly, though with less intensity. Two days ago, AIEEE, a nation-wide examination, has been conducted and weve then decided to leave Bokaro. The Bus resumes its jerky motion. Thick clusters of trees, plants, shrubs, weeds and shacks, some Pakka houses start passing away, trailing along the roads which brought me here two years ago. I keep my head inclined to the pane, looking out with sullen eyes. After a few moments, I take out my mobile phone but can find neither a message nor even a single missed call in it. Two years in Bokaro has impoverished my life. Does anyone at least convey her, the message that I am leaving Bokaro? Does she

In Course Of True Love

know this? I know it is of no use to ask this question to myself. After staring at the screen for a moment more, I open the saved message folder. Open the same message, which she has sent me in the month of October. I dont know how many times I have read this message till now. The message read: COURT ORDER! You are accused of crawling into my heart and hijacking my smile with your cute behavior. You are sentenced to be my love for life time. NO BAIL. My droopy lower lips stretch upward into a weak smile. Hope is being destroyed with every inch the bus moves away, with every jerk. My heart twinges with the surmounting intensity of yearning for her and the pain of not meeting her at least for once, for the last time, as today is my last day in Bokaro. At least, there was hope that I could see her once, may be in market. But, even that couldnt survive my hard luck. Distance is a dangerous thing. It changes everything, every feeling. I close my eyes slowly, my head still tilted towards the pane. Soon, my mind swarms with something, something joyous. It flashes something, sweet and lovely. Lashed hazel eyes, the pink cheeks and lips, the color of ripe pomegranate, smiling cutely in the class. I open my eyes, after sometime, as it becomes too unbearable to remember those things. It is true that I cant forget her. I look out, everything is passing past me. I am going away from her, from Bokaro, from her nearness. May be forever, carrying a pain, shattered dreams, and those memories. Whatever happened, I never mind. My only wish is to live with her, with our dreams. There is still a soft corner for her in my heart, which still beats for her, only for her. I look back; the bus is leaving everything behind

rapidly. I wish I could do the same. I remember, two years back, When the same bus was heading in reverse direction, entering the city, making a destination for me, to find my awaiting love; both of us being two different personalities. Tears streak down my cheeks. Everything seems like it happened yesterday. Life is too short. Everything which we make in years, shatters in seconds and leaves behind debris of memories, dreams, and emotions. Those moments which I have captured, at times still flow in my body. I can still feel them, though she is not with me now. Though so much of time has passed without her, her presence never faded completely; it recedes partially because it pains me to remember those things, those good or bad days, which bring tears with a whisper, Please come back! Please make everything beautiful as before. I pick out my diary, turn open the first page. A big, red heart with an arrow pierced through it stares back at me. I drew it nearly two years ago. At the top of the page, it is written as an intriguing love journey of shy, introvert Aarush and bold, smart, beautiful and open minded Aachankya kapoor. Tears stream down endlessly. I turn over to the next page. It starts with a morning, two years back. Everything I remember still brings a new life to me. That morning which marked the start of my life another life and I fade into past.