1 Lily Carter English 1103 Wray Writing Narrative Assignment

There are so many people, places, and events that shape us to be the people we are today. For me, my participation in the Gilda's Club Teen Advisory Club allowed me to have so many experience that have made me a better writer, and a better person. Gilda's Club is a clubhouse division of the Cancer Support Community. Activities take place for patients, friends and families of people with cancer and survivors. Activities like yoga, support groups, kids clubs, art classes, cooking classes, potluck events, nutritional speaking events and speaking events about cancer prevention all take place. This setting exposed me to so many different types of people I would not have been able to meet otherwise. I was on the Gildas Club Teen Advisory Committee or GTAC for short. Every year we would plan different events like the Battle of the Bands, Cancer Awareness Week, or the Teen Writing and Art Contest. I loved interacting with all of the other students from around Pittsburgh, we all had some experience that connected us with Gildas Club and it was exciting to hear their stories. Kathleen Petulla directed the GTAC at Gildas Club and strongly advised us to come to all of the events. The clubhouse was about 45 minutes from my house so it was harder for me to attend, but I knew it was important for our committee for me to be there so I would always make my best effort. Last year at the Teen Writing and Art Contest I heard so many stories that would change how I write, and how I think of myself as a writer and individual. I walked into our clubhouse community room and it was stuffed full of people, some familiar faces and lots of new ones. The loudness was a sort of hum, like you couldnt make out one particular conversation but you knew that all types of interactions were happening. I looked around the room and each exhibit had artists, their families, and admirers surrounding

2 it. A mother proudly hugged her daughter with tear-filled eyes as I passed their table with a warm smile. I felt so connected to people I have never met; this is the way you feel when you go to Gildas Club- it is a true community. I proceeded to walk around the room stopping at each art table admiring the hard work and vulnerability put into each piece. I thought about how the artist must have felt painting or drawing their feelings about cancer. There was one I specifically remember that was very dark and monochromatic. It was shades of greys and blacks and it portrayed cancer as a black hole. At the bottom of the hole if you looked closely you saw a shining cross. As I pondered the piece the teen artist, a sophomore in high school with blonde hair and the prettiest blue eyes Ive ever seen asked me, So what do you think of my piece? I began to have one of the most amazing conversations I have ever had with someone I had just met. We talked about her mothers diagnosis and how she used faith and art and writing to pull herself out of a depression. I was in awe at the strength of the person I was standing in front of, she could not have been much older than 16 and has already been through so much. We took our seats in the audience next to each other and listened to writers that wanted to read, share or preform their work. My favorite piece was slam poetry preformed by a girl from a south Pittsburgh high school. She talked to cancer and screamed and yelled at him and begged him to leave her mother. I remember one line so clearly, I tried to take to him, to YELL at him and he would retreat from me, further infiltrating my mother's body. I thought at this moment, wow- it is amazing how expressive and therapeutic writing, poetry and art can be. It was an emotionally a difficult setting to be in because of the deaths and struggles faced by the members of our club that I became close too, but I realized our emotions are something that are good and need to be felt, need to be written about and expressed. Whatever is affecting you IS

3 important. The writing competition expressed something so similar yet so different to what I felt, it expressed stories of children's feelings about their parents or friends feelings about their friends having cancer or patients stories about themselves, they were teens so I could relate and it was so emotional. The next event that year was the Battle of the Bands. I had to introduce all of the bands and welcome the crowd with an opening speech. The Teen Art and Writing Contest inspired me to share my story. Sharing something so personal was difficult for me, I didnt want to define me and I didnt want to be judged by my peers. I realized Gildas Club is a place where such stories can and need to be shared. If I could not speak freely here then where could I? I approached the microphone that opening night and I thanked everyone for coming. I looked out into the audience, as I started to get slightly anxious I saw faces of my peers. I looked out to the right and saw my support system, Leila my twin sister, Sandy my best friends mom, and Taylor. The words began to flow freely as I discussed what events lead up to my diagnosis. I talked about how disease is not always visible. Some of us are fighting silently. I talked about how sharing this story was hard for me but I felt like Gildas Club teens need to hear about cancer affecting one of their own. It is something I struggle to cope with everyday and it has shaped the way I write, the way I relate to people, and my whole personality. It was important to share my journey and it was freeing. My mom struggled with my speech to the point where she walked into the clubhouse and broke down and had to leave before my speech. I was upset she wasn't there because my moms support has always been something I strived to have. Even though she was not there I still had my friends and sister were there, and they are a very important support system to me. My speech taught me more about my support system, it taught me it is okay to talk

4 about my experience but also that it does define me. I looked forward to talking to my peers after the event. Some old friends came up to me with a hug that seemed to last a few seconds longer than usual. Some new friends expressed how proud they were of me. Kathleen applauded my bravery. My peers in GTAC with cancer experiences from when they were younger said things like I would not have been able to do that in front of all of those people! It made me realize that I can increase awareness through things like speeches and writing. I can make a difference and talk about how frequent cancer can occur in teens and young adults. I can encourage preventative and diagnostic medicine. I can encourage people like me to listen to their bodies and when something is wrong that they need to speak up. I can encourage early detection and promote wellness. All of my work with Gildas Club during my junior year changed my life. I decided to graduate early during my senior year in January to work as an intern! I arrived to my first day on the job and was introduced to Alesia Truxell. She would be my director from then on and I would be her assistant. The internship itself and Alesia got me so involved in the inner workings of the Gildas Club system. I was able to work with the fundraising aspects and write thank you letters to sponsors. I had the opportunity to meet speakers that came into the clubhouse or guests that came to see the speakers too. I had met so many people through all of my experiences there I could not imagine where I would be today without this amazing place. I am a more sensitive, understanding, creative person because I worked there. I was able to have an impact on them and they were able to have an impact on me. I wrote about my experiences in a journal everyday after my internship and discussed different activities I helped with, what I learned, and how it made me feel. This was a therapeutic process of self-reflection but also something that made me a stronger writer

5 because I was practicing my writing all the time. One entry expressed my feelings about finding out that one of our members had passed away. This was difficult for me emotionally and was hard whenever I was the widow and her children at the summer camp I am a counselor for at Gildas Club. These types of trials come with the territory I guess, theres always bad with the good and I knew that if I wanted to be a part of helping people with cancer, not everyone would beat it. The odds are unfortunately not in everyones favor. I feel blessed to have had the experiences I had at Gildas Club. The growth I have made as a person and as a writer from the Art and Writing Contest to my internship has shocked me. I have make connections that will last a lifetime and my perspective has shifted to include only what is most important in my life. I thank god everyday that I was able to have such a great experience with a non-profit like Gildas Club. They are the reason why every time someone asks what I want to do when I am older I say non-profit management with a big smile on my face. It is so important to be passionate about something and Gildas Club and the Cancer Support Community lead me to a place that I could be myself and make a difference. For that I couldnt be more thankful to their organization for helping me find myself. Each and every person you meet has the ability to shape or mold you, even if it is just a little bit. I believe the connections I made a Gildas Club have shaped me into a great woman and closer to the woman I want to be one day. I was able to express and analyze my growth by writing everyday in my journal about my experience, to see how far I have come. I learned about expression and how important it is from the Writing and Art Contest. All of the contributors are my heroes, my inspiration, and why I get involved with the organization so much. If I can bring comfort, or make someones life a little bit easier when they are going through such a rough time then I have made a

6 difference. I am looking forward to seeing the members of Gildas Club Teen Advisory Committee and all of my campers next summer but until then I am not sure if they know how much they have affected the course of my life. I look to the future hopeful that I will be able to make it brighter for those affected by this awful disease. I hope that one-day children, teens and adults wont have to belong to Gildas Club. Gilda Radner, who the club was started after, created the concept because having cancer gives you membership to a club you dont really want to belong to. So we are all in this together, a community as a reflection of Gilda Radner and Gene Wilders vision for a safe haven for cancer patients of free social and emotional support.