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Nicole Gerstenberger Mrs. Elliott English111 24 September, 2013 A Challenge in Life Life is not about having the latest fashion, or driving when you turn sixteen. It is not about how much money you have or being popular in school. Having things like phones, iPods, and computers are all material items that anyone could live without. Most kids grow up and want to be doctors, police officers; they want to have big houses and luxury cars. They want to have lots of money and maybe some kids to. In my case I had no idea what I wanted to do. I lived a life of regrets and empty promises. My mom was never around after the age of four and my dad worked. My name is Nicole and this is my story. My story of how I became to be who I am today. From a young age I learned that nothing lasts forever. My mom and dad had two kids together, my older brother Gregory and I. My brother died as a baby due to SIDS. I was not born yet but I know that he would have made a fantastic big brother. After my brothers death my parents started to fight, they blamed his death on one another and things just went downhill from there. My parents ended up splitting apart and I lived with my dad. My mom would come and get me whenever she had the chance. After a while, times got tough and it got to the point where she could not even support herself. She lived a life of low income and eventually got to the point where she had stopped showing up. I would wait in that window every night just waiting, but she

never came. At this time my dad had met this other woman named Tracey, and boy was she something else. She hated me. She would tell me that my mom did not love me or she forgot about me and that is a lot to understand when your four years old. My mom had no money, so she had no choice but to sign me over to my dad and Tracey. Tracey legally adopted me and had become a part of my life whether I wanted her to or not. Together they changed my birth certificate to make it look like she was my mother, in the hopes that I would never think anything different. Tracey and my dad had three other kids together, two boys and one girl. As the years went on things got tougher, I started to realize where I stood. Nobody ever bought me things or treated me like part of the family. I was pretty much just the tag along person. Whenever I was asked to clean the house, they promised me a bike or some allowance but after the job was done, I got nothing. I always did something wrong. I always got blamed for not doing something correctly or not doing a good enough job. Well when no one was there to teach you or help you out what else were you going to do? School was a huge struggle for me. I was always the kid in trouble and I did not have many friends. By having to keep to myself at home, when I got to school, I felt like it was my get away. I could be free and express who I was. Well that came to some issues that got me in trouble in years to come. My pre- school year I got mad at some kid and hit them with my hula hoop. In kindergarten, my teacher was overweight and in a wheel chair and I called her fat. First grade, I talked way too much and would color on myself with red marker to get band aids. In second grade, there was a substitute teacher and she wanted the class to be quiet so I kept turning the lights on and off. Third grade, I cheated on a spelling test. Fourth grade, this boy and I were playing tug of war with his hoodie on the way back from a field trip. Fifth grade, I walked out of

class. Sixth grade, I cheated on a math test. So as you can see I acted out in many different ways just to get the attention that I strived for all the time but never received at home. When we got home we were to get our homework done and then play. My dad worked on the farm just a half mile down the road so he never got home till late. My step mom refused to help me with my homework. I was on my own. After a while the, I do not care attitude started to take place. I was struggling in school and did not get any support or help at home, so what was the point? As the years went on, my grades were terrible. I never made the honor roll after third grade and my GPA was 2.3. My step mom would always tell me that I wasnt going to make it in life and that I was stupid. I did not know where to turn. She was always yelling and screaming and the abuse just kept coming. I found out eventually that she was not my real mother and it was the happiest day of my life. She never respected any of her family and it always had to be her way. Every time I tried to tell her that she did not treat me fairly like all the other kids and that I never got to hang out with my friends like the other kids it was only a matter of time before she switched the words around and made me look like the bad person. I never got the chance to live the life a child would. I always had to be strong and watch out for my younger siblings. I was always the one that had to cook them lunch and get them ready for school. Responsibility became a huge part of my life. As I got older and wanted to do more things it just seemed like the answer was always no. I could not go out with my friends or go to friends birthday parties even school related activities. I later found out in 2011 that my mom had died of cervical cancer. Not once did my dad even tell me she was in the hospital. I never got asked if I wanted to go and see her either. All I knew is that when I turned 18 I was not going to get to see my mom. Ever since I found out

Tracey wasnt my biological mom I started making plans to go see my mom when I turned 18. Now that those dreams were shot I had officially hit rock bottom. I started to get rebellious and eventually got a phone behind my parents back. I was not doing anything bad on it. I used it to talk to my friends outside of school. My sister eventually told on me and that was the end of that. Well me just being me I ended up getting another one. I was not going to settle for this. I did not have money to pay for this one so my grandparents helped me out a little. I had this one for quite a while before I got caught. When they found this one it was either give the phone or get out and do not come back. I was so stressed. We lived under so many rules it was worse than being omish. We could not have a door in my room because someones fingers might get smashed; we could not have drinks on the table while eating dinner, we only had breakfast lunch a dinner there was no snacks aloud in between, our bed time was seven oclock and a whole bunch of other crazy rules. It got to the point where it seemed like anywhere was better than here. When my dad gave me the option to give him the phone or get out I took the get out part. I was packed and left in an hour. I went to a friends house and my grandparents picked me up from there. Having a phone was not even the problem. My step mom was just out to make my life a living hell. She just could not let me be happy. She obviously wore the pants in this family. She tried to take my mothers place which was never going to happen. After I moved in with my grandparents everything was going great. Tracey and my dad signed over guardianship and that is how I ended up here. As of last year I got my GPA up to a 2.7 and made the honor roll all year only missing one semester. My grandparents had taught me a lot of things, such as how to be respectful and put forth effort in school. If it was not for my grandparents I do not know where I

would be today? Tracey and my dad moved to North Dakota and I am still here focusing on me for once and making a bright future for myself and helping others around me. I have made a ton of friends and am happy. I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Some people may not be able to forgive and forget but I can proudly say I am not one of those people.