The real Sylvia Plath

By Kate Moses It's the tally of "my lusts and my little ideas," wrote 17-year-old Sylvia Plath of the journals in whi h she onfessed her jud!ments, her "test tu"e infatuations," her story notes, her a#e "a#in!, her dreams and her fears from the a!e of 1$ until days "efore her death "y her own hand at the a!e of %&' Plath's hara teri(ation of her journal stands in stunnin! ontrast to the monumentally revealin! do ument she reated) more than a thousand *a!es s attered throu!h various handwritten note"oo#s, diaries, fra!ments and ty*ed sheets, the sum of it an e+traordinary re ord of what she alled the "for!in! of a soul," the reation of a writer and a woman whose many veils and !uises have su eeded in forestallin! anyone from #nowin! who she really was, des*ite her lifelon! ,uest to dis over the answer for herself' "-ou wal#ed in, lau!hin!, tears wellin! onfused, min!lin! in your throat' .ow an you "e so many women to so many *eo*le, oh you stran!e !irl/" Plath as#ed herself in the summer of 101$ when she was a"out to enter her junior year at Smith 2olle!e in 3ortham*ton, Mass' 3ow, with the 4n!lish *u"li ation of Plath's una"rid!ed journals this s*rin!, we are loser than ever to #nowin! the real identity of this disa**ointed wife and "ereaved dau!hter, this sui idal mother of two, this *oet of ele tri ally har!ed *er e*tions and am*lified ima!ination, this woman "eni!mati al5shiftin! my larities," this 6ady 6a(arus who evolved out of her own inner torment, the re ord of whi h now o*ens fully, or almost, "efore us' 7he *u"li ation of these journals is a watershed event' 7hey allow us, for the first time, to see this da((lin!ly, maddenin!ly fra!mented woman as an inte!rated "ein!' 7he Plath that emer!es here is *arado+i ally at on e saner -- less a reature of willful mental e+ ess -- and more "uffeted "y for es "eyond her ontrol' 7hose for es, it seems tra!i ally lear, were not just familial, "ut hemi al' 8lmost from the day she died, readers and s holars, fa ed with the hu!e, fa eless eni!ma of her sui ide, have "een *er*le+ed and thwarted "y Plath's mental ondition' 7he una"rid!ed journals and other new information, some of it re*orted here for the first time, lend reden e to a little-noti ed theory that Sylvia Plath suffered not just from some form of mental illness 9*ro"a"ly mani de*ression: "ut also from severe PMS' 7he idea that Plath's demons had a "iolo!i al "asis, far from "ein! redu tive, only in reases her stature as a *oet and a human "ein!' She wrested her art from !reat dar#ness' In the fall of 10;$, durin! the final flood of reativity that *re eded her death "y a few months, Sylvia Plath alluded to her first sui ide attem*t in "<addy," now her most widely re o!ni(ed *oem' "8t twenty I tried to die," she wrote, "'''But they *ulled me out of the sa #,5 8nd they stu # me to!ether with !lue'" =our de ades sin e Plath #illed herself on the mornin! of =e"ruary 11, 10;%, it seems more a urate to say that she's "een stu # "a # to!ether with *a*er' 7ons and tons of *a*er) her own *osthumously *u"lished *oetry olle tion, the fier e and mythi "8riel," an en oded auto"io!ra*hy whi h indeed, as she *redi ted, made her name> the softened " orre tive" of the dutiful, hir*y "6etters .ome" edited "y her mother, 8urelia Plath> her Pulit(er-*ri(e winnin! "2olle ted Poems," whi h "uilds ine+ora"ly from *olite surfa e *oise to ra #lin!, in ineratin! for e> a smatterin! of fairly neutral stories and tellin! journal fra!ments in "?ohnny Pani and the Bi"le of <reams"> and her journals, *u"lished in heavily edited form in 10@$ that, de*endin! on whose side you were on, made Plath a**ear either mad or vi timi(ed' 8ll of Plath's wor#, in ludin! her three additional *oetry olle tions, remains in *rint' But even more

voluminous is the riti al res*onse her writin!s have !enerated -- a"out a do(en "io!ra*hies and "re olle tions" and hundreds of arti les, riti al studies and ultural ommentaries' Ahat's most noti ea"le a"out the verita"le industry of "oo#s and arti les a"out Plath is that none of them su eed in reatin! an inte!rated *ortrait of their su"je t' She is variously *ortrayed as a fra!ile, "rilliant immi!rant's dau!hter s arred "y overar hin! am"ition and her father's early death> a ri!hteous *roto-feminist shru!!in! off hus"and, hildren and the ri**lin! reins of ulturally *res ri"ed domesti ity> an unreasona"le *erfe tionist whose outra!eous demands alienated everyone who rossed her *ath> a devoted wife and mother shattered "y her idoli(ed hus"and's "etrayal> and an un"alan ed artist who would use and sa rifi e everythin!, in ludin! her own life, to serve her art' By her own admission Plath was a woman of many mas#s, someone who felt it ne essary to reveal only fa ets of herself in any !iven situation, so ial or *rofessional' .er hus"and, the late British Poet 6aureate 7ed .u!hes, wrote in the introdu tion to her 10@$ journals, "I never saw her show her real self to any"ody -- e+ e*t, *erha*s, in the last three months of her life'" .u!hes, of ourse, has "een the entral fi!ure and o"je t of sus*i ion, even *erse ution, in the vitrioli B&-year-old ontroversy re!ardin! the "real" Sylvia Plath' In the summer of 10;$, the .u!hes' marria!e "ro#e down when Plath dis overed that .u!hes was havin! an affair' 8 ordin! to .u!hes' infre,uent omments re!ardin! his relationshi* with Plath, theirs had "een a mutually reative, valua"le sym"iosis from the very start) "Cur minds soon "e ame two *arts of one o*eration," he told the Paris Deview in 1001' But thin!s went very wron!, as his 100@ *oetry olle tion addressed to Plath, the international "estseller "Birthday 6etters," attests' Ahen they se*arated traumati ally in Se*tem"er 10;$ after si+ years of marria!e, the ou*le were *arents of a $-year-old dau!hter, =rieda, and an @-month-old "a"y son, 3i holas> .u!hes moved to 6ondon, while Plath remained with the hildren at their house in the 4n!lish ountryside' Aith only s*oradi hild are and often ill with fevers, flu and infe tions, Plath wrote the "ul# of the "8riel" *oems in a seven-wee# rush durin! the *re-dawn hours "efore her hildren awo#e' Ahen Plath died, she was still le!ally married to .u!hes, and the res*onsi"ility of ondu tin! her literary estate fell to him' In 10;0, .u!hes' lover, 8ssia Aevill, mimi #ed Plath's sui ide "y !assin! herself as well as the youn! dau!hter, Shura, whom she shared with .u!hes' .u!hes wrote to Plath "io!ra*her 8nne Stevenson in 10@0, "''' I saw ,uite learly from the first day that I am the only *erson in this "usiness who annot "e "elieved "y all who need to find me !uilty'" .e was ri!ht' 8s .u!hes slowly released her *osthumously *u"lished wor#s -- whi h su eeded in winnin! for her an enormous readershi* as well as entry into the anon of 8meri an $&th entury *oetry, status she had de idedly not held durin! her lifetime -- he was vi iously atta #ed "y s holars and riti s, feminists in *arti ular, who read the "listerin! "8riel" *oems and later the judi iously *runed 10@$ journals as an indi tment a!ainst him' .e was ontrollin!, e!otisti al, faithless and selfish> he had tried to shame Plath, a *oeti !enius, into sewin! on his "uttons' .u!hes has sin e "een onsistently riti i(ed for his " ensorin!" and "stiflin!" of Plath throu!h his editorial de isions, whi h nota"ly in luded trimmin! and reorderin! the "8riel" manus ri*t, there"y han!in! its tone and theme from one of transformative re"irth to one of inevita"le self-destru tion, and his most ondemned deed of all, destroyin! Plath's final journal from the last three months of her life' "I did not want her hildren to have to read it," .u!hes wrote in his introdu tion to the journals in 10@$' 8nother journal, overin! late 1010 throu!h the fall of 10;$, or the *ivotal "8riel" *eriod, was said "y .u!hes to have "disa**eared," thou!h it "may ''' still turn u*'" .u!hes' a tions -- destroyin! or losin! Plath's final journals and rearran!in! "8riel" -- re*resent a ru+ of moral am"i!uity that readers and s holars have "attled over for de ades' <id his a tions sim*ly refle t, as he onsistently maintained, his o"li!ations toward his hildren/ Cr were they motivated "y

self-interest -- an emotion whi h under the ir umstan es ould "e onsidered reasona"le/ It is hard not to feel sym*athy for a man who famously wrote of the lost journals, "In those days I re!arded for!etfulness as an essential *art of survival'" -et it is undenia"le that "y destroyin! them .u!hes forever silen ed the re ord of the *ro ess he onsidered so essential to Plath's *oeti a hievement, and to Plath herself, of whom he wrote in 1071, "I feel a first and last o"li!ation to her'" Sin e the late 107&s, .u!hes had maintained that all of Plath's writin!s, no matter how *rivate, were vital insofar as they shed li!ht on the "true" Sylvia Plath' Plath's entral *roje t and *ro"lem, .u!hes "elieved, was the reation of herself' .e li#ened Plath's reative *ro ess to an al hemi al one in whi h her immature writin!s, her hi!hly mannered early *oetry and the stiff stories into whi h she des*erately tried to "reathe life were "li#e im*urities thrown off from the various sta!es of the inner transformation, "y-*rodu ts of the internal wor#'" "8riel" and the related final *oems, "y dramati ontrast, were the voi e of her true self, "the *roof," he wrote in the 10@$ journal's foreword, "that it arrived' 8ll her other writin!s, e+ e*t these journals, are the waste *rodu ts of its !estation'" 8 ordin! to .u!hes, the journals were Plath's *rivate re ord of her many amoufla!es, the stylisti *ersonalities she tried on, the identities and defenses she assumed' 7he journals reveal "the day to day stru!!le with her warrin! selves'" By 100@, .u!hes had ome to defer to the jud!ment of his hildren, who no lon!er needed his *rote tion, a"out *u"lishin! the journals' "7his was really =rieda's and 3i holas' de ision in onjun tion with their father," said Karen Ku#il, editor of the una"rid!ed journals, in a re ent interview with Salon' =rieda .u!hes alled Ku#il, urator of Smith 2olle!e's B,&&&-*a!e Plath olle tion sin e 100&, in the s*rin! of 100@ to as# Ku#il to edit a om*lete, une+*ur!ated volume of all of her mother's journals in the Smith li"rary' Ahen news "ro#e earlier this year that the British *u"lisher =a"er E =a"er intended to release those una"rid!ed journals, the announ ement en!endered a flurry of s*e ulation a"out what other Plath "om"shells mi!ht "e in the offin!' Perha*s the disa**eared journal would emer!e, or more li#ely, all of the ima!ined jui y details of insuffera"le hus"andly domination and adulterous alumny that .u!hes had witheld from the journals in 10@$ to save his own re*utation' .u!hes' admission that he'd destroyed the journal had *redi ta"ly nurtured the assum*tion amon! his riti s that the editin! of the journals had "een for his own "enefit, rather than to eliminate what =ran es M 2ullou!h, editor of the 10@$ journals, hara teri(ed as the less relevant material as well as "the nasty "its" that would have aused unne essary *ain or em"arrassment to Plath's survivin! relatives, friends and ollea!ues' 4arlier this month, =a"er E =a"er released those journals in Britain 9the 8meri an edition will a**ear this fall from 8n hor Boo#s:' Fnli#e the 10@$ journals, whi h were shaved down to a"out a third of their a tual volume, =a"er's "una"rid!ed" edition "rin!s to!ether every e+tant journal from 101& onward' 97he famously missin! journal from 1010-10;$ isn't in luded': 7he =a"er edition is a meti ulous *reservation of Plath's miss*ellin!s, !rammar, s*ot illustrations, a*itali(ation and *un tuation, and an a"solutely faithful renderin! of her words -- *ure, unadulterated Sylvia Plath for the first time' 7he una"rid!ed journals in lude material that vindi ates "oth the anti- and *ro-.u!hes am*s' More im*ortantly, they !ive Plath's readers their first-ever o**ortunity to e+*erien e the un ensored "readth of Plath's ima!ination in its ri hest medium, the *rivate testin! !round of her relentlessly self-refle tive artistry' 8s the anti-.u!hes am* had always *rotested, they ontain material with s holarly rather than merely *rurient value' But it is also o"vious that mu h of the deleted material was justifia"ly ensored to s*are the feelin!s of Plath's friends and family' 7he volume in ludes in their entirety Plath's two onse utive journals from 1017 to 1010, when Plath returned with .u!hes from 4n!land to tea h misera"ly for a year at Smith followed "y a year s*ent

livin! in Boston, where she resumed *sy hoanalysis with Duth Barnhouse Beus her, who had treated Plath durin! her re overy from the 101% sui ide attem*t' It was a time of revisitin! old !hosts and old haunts' Plath un overed first her s ornful disdain for her Smith friends and ollea!ues 9"Botany *rofessors for#in! raw ton!ue with dowdy seat-s*read wives" is one of her milder o"servations:, and se ond her dee* hatred and resentment of her "vam*ire" mother, whose death in 100B *resuma"ly made *u"li ation of this vitally illuminatin! *ortion of the journals *alata"le to the Plath estate' 7he una"rid!ed journals onfirm the anti-.u!hes am*'s assum*tion that .u!hes ensored details a"out himself, "ut his elisions a**ear to "e di tated "y a on ern for "asi *riva y rather than the need to on eal damnin! information' 3othin! a"out .u!hes that is new to the una"rid!ed journals reveals him as any worse than he already had allowed himself to "e seen in earlier "oo#s' It's easy, thou!h, to ima!ine why anyone, es*e ially 4n!land's future *oet laureate, mi!ht have wanted to ensor his wife's natterin! on a"out his "deli ious s#in smells," infre,uent hair washin! and "hairy "elly'" 7o "e sure, all of the major themes of the journals were *resent in the 10@$ journals -- amon! them, Plath's *re o ious and unwaverin! am"ition as a writer, whi h drove her mer ilessly toward artisti !rowth and *u"li ation> her "oy- ra(y so ial whirl in olle!e and her attendant *reo u*ation with the limitations of marria!e and !ender roles in the ram*ed ultural mind of the '1&s> the familial demons of her hildhood -- her father's death from a om*li ation of dia"etes when she was @, and her onfli ted relationshi* with her widowed mother> the emotional, *sy holo!i al and artisti enormity of her relationshi* with .u!hes> and most om*ellin!, her indefati!i"le stru!!le to wrestle ontrol over her haoti emotional life, what .u!hes $& years a!o alled "her will to fa e what was wron! in herself, and to dra! it out into e+amination, and to rema#e it'" 8nd yet the 10@$ journals didn't feel whole' <es*ite .u!hes' stated intentions, Plath still seemed va!ue and fra!mented, her *oems only dimly illuminated' 7he 10@$ journals felt fi!uratively as well as literally elli*ti al, and into those elli*ses ould "e inje ted all sorts of stran!e and dar# and terri"le fantasies, *ossi"ly stran!er and dar#er than the truth' "More terri"le," the Plath of "Stin!s" mi!ht say, "than she ever was'" It's not the "true self" of Sylvia Plath that omes rushin! at you with vivid immedia y -- at least not the true self as .u!hes defined it, a Plath distilled into *ure, fero ious, luminous essen e' 3or is it the va!ue, half-!lim*sed Sylvia Plath of the earlier journals, whose lon!in!s and rises and furies didn't ,uite add u*' Instead, it is the IM8G version of Sylvia Plath who a**ears from the very first *a!es of the journals -- the e+a!!erated, hi!h-volta!e, "i!!er-than-life *ersonality and ima!ination that no one, not a sin!le one of her detra tors or friends, has denied was onsistently evident 9if fre,uently hard to ta#e: in the flesh' 7his feverish Sylvia Plath floods the reader's senses as her own were flooded throu!hout her life) on wave after wave of e stati or rashin! e+*erien e, on s*ar#lin! details she seems hel*less, at every moment, to i!nore' "4yes *ulled u* li#e roots" is how the *oet 8nne 2arson hara teri(ed Plath, and the ima!e arries its sho # of authenti ity' "I've tal#ed to alumni who #new Plath," says Ku#il, "and they say that everythin! she did was at the same intense level' 4verythin! she did, she e+*erien ed to the hilt'" "It's !ettin! so I live every moment with terri"le intensity," she wrote to *en *al 4d 2ohn in 101&' 7wenty years a!o, it may have seemed to .u!hes and M 2ullou!h that *reservin! Plath's rush of ,uotidian detail -- the i e"o+ heese a#es she immortali(ed, the e*i*hany over a story in 2osmo*olitan ma!a(ine that !ave her the idea to write "7he Bell ?ar" 9"I must write one a"out a olle!e !irl sui ide ''' 7here is an in reasin! mar#et for mental-health stuff'":, her o"sessive "emusement a"out do! shit, the notin! of the old water and salt in whi h were soa#ed the sheets "loodied "y her new"orn son's after"irth, the 1B des ri*tions of what the moon loo#ed li#e that minute -- would diminish the im*a t of her uni,ue !enius in the journals rather than enhan e it'

7he o**osite is true) It is the most ordinary details of Plath's daily life that now !ive her su h astonishin! de*th and "alan e and ma#e her seem, within the thrum of her intensity, refreshin!ly sane and vi"rant' 7eemin! as they are with *res ient o"servations and, as Plath *uts it, "foolishness," the una"rid!ed journals are no less her artisti "Sar!asso" for the jum"le of her "!a""lin!" -- they are, in fa t, more so' Plath's is a *ersonality inte!rated "y umulative effe t' 7he details *ull forward not just toward the *oems, "ut toward a fuller and more distin t *i ture of the woman who wrote them) 7hey add immeasura"ly to Plath's artisti and *sy holo!i al stature' 4ven so, there are many *assa!es whose *revious e+ isions are understanda"le, lines and whole entries redolent with the whiff of ta"oo of one #ind or another' .ilarious as it is to envision now, no dou"t .u!hes didn't relish the idea of lettin! it "e #nown that Plath had in 101@ -- after he'd won the attention of A'.' 8uden, Ste*hen S*ender and Marianne Moore with his first "oo# -- entered their *oems in jin!les ontests run "y food om*anies) "the dole *inea**le E hein( #et hu* ontests lose this wee#, "ut the =ren h's mustard, fruit-"lended oatmeal E slenderella E 6i""y-tomato jui e ontests don't lose till the end of May' Ae stand to win five ars, two wee#s in Paris, a year's free food, and innumera"le i e"o+es E refri!erators and all our de"ts *aid' Hlory !lory'" Some of the 10@$ uts were sim*ly Plath's austi sni*in! and thinly dis!uised jealousies -- there is a wonderfully sul#y a ount of a lun h with fellow *oets, droolin! unattra tive "a"ies, and s*illed tea that ends "7oo mu h salt in a fruit salad' Ae ate, !rum*ily, and left'" Mu h has "een made of the journal e*isode of May 10 to $$, 101@, in whi h Plath re ords her sho # and dis!ust at her dis overy of .u!hes' feet of lay' Cn that day, her last day of tea hin! at Smith, Plath and .u!hes had made *lans to meet after her last lass' Ahen .u!hes didn't show, Plath had "an intuitive vision" that she would see him wal#in! with a olle!e !irl on the am*us> not only was she ri!ht, "ut the !irl literally ran away and .u!hes made no attem*t to introdu e her' Be ause the 10@$ version of the journals left ,uite enou!h material to ma#e .u!hes loo# li#e a ad if not a downri!ht adulterer and further *i,ued sus*i ions "y insertin! numerous ICMISSIC3J fla!s that !lowed mali!nantly within the *assa!e, many readers and riti s have understanda"ly assumed that the elisions would *oint dire tly to .u!hes' infidelity' Instead, the reinstated omissions ma#e lear that what really u*set Plath was .u!hes' o*en dis*lay of vanity -- that on her s*e ial day, he *ut his own e!o 9only fi!uratively stro#ed "y the fleein!, thi #le!!ed o-ed in Bermuda shorts: ahead of hers' .u!hes, "whose vanity is not dead, "ut thrives," "a liar and a vain smiler," definitely omes out loo#in! all too human, "ut the edited version had made him seem truly sinister' It's ironi that in this memora"le instan e .u!hes ut referen es to his vanity 9and his sa!!y *ants and !reasy hair and the universally ondemna"le smarminess of his "heavy ham a t ''' '6et's ma#e u*'": *resuma"ly in order to assua!e his self-re!ard, and yet "y doin! so he *lanted in the minds of Plath's readershi* the seeds of his early-and-often a"use of Plath's faith in him' 7he journals were Plath's ma!i auldron, the re e*ta le where she stewed the o"servations that would hel* her !ive sha*e to her life in its myriad desired !uises' It an "e seen "ur"lin! away in her eavesdro**in! on an adult o #tail *arty at the summer home of the Mayos, a family for whom she wor#ed as a mother's hel*er durin! the summer of 1011) "Ahat were they tal#in! a"out/ Ahat was the su"tle line that mar#ed you from enterin! a !rou* su h as this/ ''' I an hear the voi es omin! u* to me, lau!hter, raveled words' F* here, on the se ond floor *or h, the air "lurs the sylla"les and ontinuity of onversation li#e s#y-writin! '''" Cther *reviously omitted *assa!es illuminate Plath's a**renti eshi* in her life as well as her art to the de!ree that their *revious removal now seems *e uliarly shortsi!hted' 8mon! the themes fleshed out "y the una"rid!ed journals are Plath's on!oin! stru!!les with the on e*t of marria!e, whi h she "oth feared as stultifyin! to her reativity and desired for its se+ual and emotional intima y'

Delated to that is her "hatred" of men, oft- ited "y riti s' 7hat hatred now a**ears more a urately as an envy "orne of the frustratin!ly onfinin! '1&s-era se+ual mores that made it im*ossi"le for Plath to see# the e+*erien es she wanted, to "e as se+ually free in her thou!ht and a tions as men ould "e' Plath also easily arti ulates the *olarity "etween her desire to mother versus her *rote tiveness of her *rofessional am"ition -- "elyin! the theory ir ulated in some ir les that Plath's am"ivalen e toward motherhood was not ,uite normal' 7he une+*ur!ated 1017 to '10 entries reveal the de*th of Plath's aw#wardness with *eo*le, as o**osed to the outward "!olden !irl" !aiety ty*i ally as ri"ed to her' Ahile tea hin! at Smith, Plath instituted a *ro!ram to om*el herself to intera t' "Peo*le) eyes E ears not shut, as they are now," she oa hed herself, "I a*art, aware of a*artness E a stran!e oddity that ma#es my offee-sho* tal# lau!ha"le -- we are invitin! *eo*le to dinner) four a wee#, 1; a month) I shall not !o si # or nervous or overeffusive '''" 7hrou!hout the early years of the journals, Plath's la # of e+*erien e is sometimes rin!in!ly o"vious, her early attem*ts at hammerin! the e*isodes of her life into fi tional or *oeti sha*e hilariously so*homori ' <urin! her olle!e years, Plath often re orded her life in s enes addressin! herself as "you" or in a fre,uently self- on!ratulatory third *erson) "Cutwardly, all one ould see on *assin! "y is a tan, lon!-le!!ed !irl in a white lawn hair, dryin! her li!ht "rown hair ''' 7oni!ht she will dress in the lovely white shar#s#in hand-me-down dress of last summer's em*loyer and !a(e winnin!ly at her entran ed Prin eton es ort '''" Cn the o asion of the end of a "rief infatuation, Plath threw herself with full intensity into a melodramati hun# of do!!erel) 7he slime of all my yesterdays Dots in the hollow of my s#ull) 8nd if my stoma h would ontra t Be ause of some e+*li a"le *henomenon Su h as *re!nan y or onsti*ation I would not remem"er you' She was not unaware of her early failures' In fa t, wherever the raft of writin! was at issue Plath was notoriously hard on herself' But what the youn! Plath la #ed in e+*erien e she made u* for in ima!ination and most de idedly in will' 8t 1@, she s olded herself) "I am a vi tim of intros*e tion' If I have not the *ower to *ut myself in the *la e of other *eo*le, "ut must "e ontinually "urrowin! inward, I shall never "e the ma!nanimous reative *erson I wish to "e' -et I am hy*noti(ed "y the wor#in!s of the individual, alone, and am ontinually usin! myself as a s*e imen'" .er journals are rife with her e+hortations to !et over herself and !et on with the wor# "eyond' "Hod, to lift u* the lid of heads," she "emoans in 101@' 8nd yet des*ite her onstant efforts to "flay" herself into the writer she #new she ould "e, the most fluid writin!s in Plath's journals are those in whi h she is unself- ons iously su"je tive, !ettin! strai!ht to the "usiness of tele!ra*hin! her thou!hts and feelin!s without s ul*tin! them into somethin! suita"le for the Saturday 4venin! Post, the 2hristian S ien e Monitor, or -- the twin hei!hts of her literary Clym*us -- the 3ew -or#er and 6adies' .ome ?ournal' <urin! a !rim winter afternoon at Smith durin! her tea hin! year, Plath has offee alone in the offee sho* of her youth and noti es "musi sou*in! from ju#e"o+, melan holy, em"ra in!'" Cn a tri* to Paris in 101;, Plath writes of wal#in! alon! the Seine's ri!ht "an# when a masher in a "lowslun!" "la # ar "oo(ed alon!side while he "e!!ed me to ome for a ride'" 8nd three months later, on her honeymoon in S*ain, every detail of her notes shimmers with sensory vividness' 7his ma#es a *er*le+in! ontrast to the handful of short stories she fretted over from that time'

8 *arti ularly terri"le story idea is the one for "7he <ay of 7wenty-four 2a#es," the *lot of whi h emer!ed durin! the wee#s *rior to the dread Smith tea hin! year, a time when Plath sensed the reative silen e her return home was !oin! to im*ose on her' In the "reathless *ara!ra*h that outlines the story 9Plath hara teri(es the *otential audien e as "4ither Kaf#a lit-ma! serious or S874K4PCS7 aim hi!h":, Plath's heroine sounds li#e nothin! less than a na#ed refle tion of her own des*eration) "Aaverin! "etween runnin! away or ommittin! sui ide) stayed "y need to reate an order) slowly, methodi ally "e!ins to "a#e a#es, one ea h hour, alls store for e!!s, et ' from midni!ht to midni!ht' .us"and omes home) new understandin!'" Plath's stilted admonishments to herself to lift u* the world in twee(ers and e+amine it from every an!le, to ma#e it "!em-li#e", "jewel-li#e", "diamond-ed!ed," "diamond fa eted," "jewelled," "!em"ri!ht", "!litterin!" ould not "ully her wor# into ta#in! on those ,ualities' 8nd yet those ,ualities, so evident in her later *oetry, were ,uite o"viously within her !ras*' .er innate !ifts, ultimately im*osed su essfully on her *oetry, do indeed e+ist li#e !ems "uried in their rudest form in the journals' In the unintentionally funny 101$ *assa!e "''' ni!ht thi #enin!, on!ealin! around her in her loneliness and lon!in! li#e an im*risonin! envelo*e of !elatin '''" one an hear the e ho of 10;$'s "8 Birthday Present," in whi h she re*ur*osed the word " on!eal" to mu h "etter effe t) ''' It "reathes from my sheets, the old dead enter Ahere s*ilt lives on!eal and stiffen to history' Perha*s the most e+ itin! as*e t of a lose readin! of Plath's journals is the thrill of wat hin! the la"oratory of her mind at wor#, wat hin! her oa+ her raw materials toward their on entrated final form' 8nd #nowin! that on e she !ot her "self" !oin! -- her ele trified intelle t, that *ier in! ima!ination -- that she would unleash the unsto**a"le *oeti for e of a runaway train' -et until the *oint when her true self too# fli!ht in "8riel," Plath was *la!ued "y the "fatal" feelin! that "I write as if an eye were u*on me'" 7hat eye may now "e ours, the audien e she literally dreamed of, "ut while Plath was alive, the una"rid!ed journals ma#e a!oni(in!ly lear, the eye was her mother's' Plath's real feelin!s a"out her mother are no lon!er ushioned "y areful edits that su"vert her shar* o*inions' It is no lon!er a matter of <r' Beus her !ivin! Plath "*ermission to hate your mother" or Plath admittin! hatred "for ''' all mother fi!ures'" Plath unhesitatin!ly states that she hates -- as well as *ities and desires the a**roval of -- her mother, and in turn feels her mother's envy and la # of un onditional love' "Ahat to do with her, with the hostility, undyin!, whi h I feel for her/ I want, as ever, to !ra" my life from out under her hot it hy hands' My life, my writin!, my hus"and, my un on eived "a"y'" 8urelia Plath had no self> she lived for and throu!h her hildren' =rom Sylvia Plath's infan y, her *rimary *arent's selflessness !ave Plath no model for a self that ould maintain its autonomy or e+ist "eyond meetin! other *eo*le's needs' Ahat Plath had instead was one "i! "oundariless, free-floatin! e!o, a self utterly de*endent on the inflation "y the selfless *arent, and all *sy hi roads, ultimately, led ri!ht "a # to Sylvia' Plath s*ent her entire adult life tryin! to tra e the e!o "oundaries for herself that her mother ne!le ted to im*ose' "She is, in many ways, li#e an em*ty vessel," Perloff said of Plath in an interview with Salon' "It's really no wonder that she eru*ted with all these stron! feelin!s and rea tions, the !uilt and the ra!e and the in redi"le hatred that omes out, first, in '7he Bell ?ar''" Plath understood that her mother lived vi ariously throu!h her dau!hter and her dau!hter's a hievements, and that Plath's own 101% "rea#down and sui ide attem*t was in lar!e *art a rea tion to her unhealthy "union" with her mother) "I lay in "ed when I thou!ht my mind was !oin! "lan# forever and thou!ht what a lu+ury it would "e to #ill her, to stran!le her s#inny veined throat whi h ould never "e "i! enou!h to *rote t me from the world' But I was too ni e for murder' I tried to murder

myself) to #ee* from "ein! an em"arrassment to the ones I loved and from livin! myself in a mindless hell ''' I'd #ill her, so I #illed myself'" 3ot that riti s and readers hadn't already sus*e ted as mu h' In 1070 the literary riti Marjorie Perloff, author of some of the most influential arti les on Plath, made the *oint that the shallow *erfe tion of Plath's early wor# and her later metamor*hosis into the writer of the inimita"le "8riel" *oems was tra ea"le to Plath's stru!!le to shru! off the "urden of *leasin! her mother, who had forfeited her own life for her two hildren, Sylvia and Aarren' 7he deal, as Sylvia ame to understand it, was that in return for their mother's un om*lainin! slave la"or -- their mother's life -- the hildren would feed "a # a om*lishments' Plath "e ame an a hievement jun#ie, livin! for two and never sure of her mother's love' Hiven Plath's awareness of her un omforta"le "osmosis" with her mother, it must have "een horrifyin! for her, as Perloff *oints out, to reali(e that durin! the summer of 10;$ "she had "e ome ''' a 'widowed' youn! mother with very slender finan ial means -- in short, she had become her mother. 4ven the se+ of her two hildren -- first a !irl, then a "oy -- re*eated the Sylvia-Aarren *attern' Cnly now, one !athers, did Sylvia fully !ras* the futility of her former !oals' 8nd so she had to destroy the '8urelia' in herself ''' In the demoni 8riel *oems, she ould finally vent her an!er, her hatred of men, her disa**ointment in life' '<earest Mother' now "e omes the dreaded Medusa'" .er *oetry leaves no dou"t that Plath was indeed also o"sessed with her father, "ut the trail of rum"s left in the journals leads elsewhere) Plath, who never failed to *ointedly e+amine her own motivations, a**ears mar#edly resi!ned to her lon!in! for her father' "My o"session with my father," she says> "it hurts, father, it hurts, oh father I have never #nown'" -ou mi!ht say she "!ets" her lon!in! for her father, as she "!ets" her fury at her mother' Ahat seems the most lo!i al e+*lanation for Plath's eni!mati relationshi* with her *arents is not that one or the other was her demon, "ut that due to ir umstan e she remained *sy holo!i ally de*endent on and vi timi(ed "y "oth of them' .er father's death left her not only with a hoard of unresolved !rief, "ut it also left her defenseless a!ainst her mother's unintended vam*irish harm' She had only her mother to rely on until she "e!an a se ond sym"ioti relationshi* with .u!hes' Plath's de*ressions and ra!es, her restlessness and feelin! of entra*ment seem a**ro*riate rea tions, at least to a de!ree, to her family situation' Ahat is still hard for many of her readers to "elieve is that su h an intuitive, *er e*tive and nuan ed *erson as Sylvia Plath, who had at her dis*osal so many interior tools to understand her own traumas, would ultimately self-destru t' -et the journals show, now more than ever, the e+tent to whi h she !ra**led hel*lessly with her hi!h-strun! emotional life, how tortured she was "y her own intensity des*ite her desire to ultivate her "weirdness" and transform it into art' Ahat is most onstant a"out her in onstant emotions is her attem*ts to wrestle them down, to find a *lane on whi h she ould e+ist in relative *sy hi omfort' 7here is a *al*a"le ur!en y, even a *oi!nant heroism, to Plath's mission to understand -- and to ontrol "y sheer self-dis i*line -- her un ontrolla"le moods' 7he 10@$ journals were not la+ in hi!hli!htin! this theme> "Hod, is this all it is," Plath wrote in 101&, "the ri o hetin! down the orridor of lau!hter and tears/ Cf self-worshi* and self-loathin!/ Cf !lory and dis!ust/" 8nd in 1011) "I have the hoi e of "ein! onstantly a tive and ha**y or intros*e tively *assive and sad'" 8nd in 101@) "I have "een, and am, "attlin! de*ression' It is as if my life were ma!i ally run "y two ele tri urrents) joyous *ositive and des*airin! ne!ative -- whi h ever is runnin! at the moment dominates my life, floods it'" 3umerous times after her marria!e Plath warned herself to learn to mana!e her own emotions, to #ee* her *ro"lems to herself, to "not tell 7ed" des*ite her all- onsumin! neediness and her sense of his soothin! effe t on her nerves> in the una"rid!ed journals, ironi ally just a month "efore the

disillusionin! May 101@ o-ed in ident, Plath wrote of .u!hes, ".e is ''' my *ole-star enterin! me steady E ri!ht'" <es*ite Plath's "rittle ho*e that determination alone ould steer her un!overna"le emotions, the real #ey to her lifelon! stru!!le with her mind may lie in a little-noti ed medi al theory -- one that does not just shed li!ht on her *oeti o"sessions, "ut that allows us to see somethin! few have o"served in the life of this s rutini(ed, tortured, im*ossi"le, fri!htenin!ly "rilliant writer) oura!e' As a teena!er, Sylvia Plath vividly understood the e+tent to whi h her "ody steered her' "If I didn't have se+ or!ans, I wouldn't waver on the "rin# of nervous emotion and tears all the time," she wrote in her journal in 101&' 7en days "efore her death, she had ome to "elieve that "fi+ed stars5Hovern a life'" It turns out that Plath was *ro"a"ly ri!ht -- more ri!ht than she ould have *ossi"ly #nown -- a"out her "iolo!y and her fate' But when Plath's journals were first *u"lished in 10@$, what was most o"vious a"out her was the su*er har!ed nature of her emotions' Ahatever ausal a!ents may have "een !overnin! Plath's life, they were "lown "a # "y the for e of her *ersonality' 8s unmista#a"le as were Plath's volatile emotions in the 10@$ journals, the heavy editin! of the te+t ne essarily made it hard to dis ern the *atterns to her moods' 4ven so, there did seem to "e a dete ta"le *attern, and it did not seem then, nor had it seemed to the *eo*le losest to her durin! the last years of her life, to "e merely a fun tion of tem*erament' In the wee#s "efore her sui ide, Plath's *hysi ian, ?ohn .order, noted that Plath was not sim*ly dee*ly de*ressed, "ut that her ondition e+tended "eyond the "oundaries of a *sy holo!i al e+*lanation' In a letter years later to Plath "io!ra*her 6inda Aa!ner-Martin, .order stated) "I "elieve ''' she was lia"le to lar!e swin!s of mood, "ut so e+ essive that a do tor inevita"ly thin#s in terms of "rain hemistry' 7his does not redu e the on urrent im*ortan e of marria!e "rea#-u* or of e+haustion after a *eriod of unusual artisti a tivity or from re ent infe tious illness or from the diffi ulties of "ein! a res*onsi"le, *ra ti al mother' 7he full e+*lanation has to ta#e all these fa tors into a ount and more' But the irrational om*ulsion to end it ma#es me thin# that the "ody was !overnin! the mind'" =or at least the *ast 1& years it has "een !enerally assumed that Plath fit the s hema of mani de*ressive illness, with alternatin! *eriods of de*ression and more *rodu tive and elated e*isodes' In the e*i 100& te+t"oo# "Mani <e*ressive Illness" "y =rederi # K' Hoodwin and Kay Dedfield ?amison, Plath is footnoted in a ta"le listin! major $&th entury *oets with do umented histories of mani -de*ressive illness' 7hou!h Plath was never treated for e*isodes of mania, the authors on ur that she would *ro"a"ly have "een dia!nosa"le with "i*olar II, one of the two ty*es of mani -de*ressive illness' 7he des ri*tion in the first *ara!ra*h of the "oo# sounds stri#in!ly li#e Plath) "Mani -de*ressive illness ma!nifies ommon human e+*erien es to lar!er-than-life *ro*ortions' 8mon! its sym*toms are e+a!!erations of normal sadness and fati!ue, joy and e+u"eran e, sensuality and se+uality, irrita"ility and ra!e, ener!y and reativity ''' 7o those affli ted, it an "e so *ainful that sui ide seems the only means of es a*e> one of every four or five untreated mani -de*ressive individuals a tually does ommit sui ide'" <r' ?amison, a leadin! e+*ert in the field of affe tive illness, also in ludes Plath in her 100% "oo#, "7ou hed Aith =ire) Mani -<e*ressive Illness and the 8rtisti 7em*erament'" 7he hy*othesis that Plath suffered from a "i*olar disorder is *ersuasive' But in late 100&, another, even more intri!uin! medi al theory emer!ed' Fsin! the eviden e of Plath's letters, *oems, "io!ra*hies and the 10@$ journals, a !raduate student named 2atherine 7hom*son *ro*osed that Plath had suffered from a severe ase of *remenstrual syndrome' In "<awn Poems in Blood) Sylvia Plath and PMS," whi h a**eared in the literary ma!a(ine 7ri,uarterly, 7hom*son theori(ed that Plath's mood volatility, de*ressions, many hroni ailments and ultimately her sui ide were tra ea"le to the *oet's menstrual

y les and the hormonal disru*tions aused "y PMS' "8 urate medi al #nowled!e of PMS has "e ome availa"le in the Fnited States only in the last ten years, and Plath herself ould not have #nown that her *sy holo!i al e+*erien e was a result of a hormonal ondition," 7hom*son wrote' "-et the on erns of her wor# and the ima!ery of her *oems su!!est that she did have at least an intuitive understandin! of the relationshi* "etween her fertility and her sufferin!'" In addition to y les of death and re"irth and the motif of true and false selves, the major re urrin! themes to "e found in Plath's self-refle tive and rituali(ed *oeti mytholo!y are those of female fertility and *ower, and the ontrollin! for e of a feminine moon !oddess' 7hom*son ited e+tensive medi al resear h, in ludin! that of *ioneerin! PMS resear her Katharina <alton, to orro"orate the results of her e+amination of Plath's sym*toms in relationshi* to y li hormonal han!es in PMS sufferers' She ar!ued that some of Plath's *oems, in *arti ular those of the "8riel" *eriod, were not just fi!urative, a"stra t e+*ressions of Plath's *reo u*ation with female fertility, "ut were dire tly orrelated with Plath's "iolo!y' "Meta*hors for ovulation and menstrual "lood are *revalent in her late wor#," noted 7hom*son, "and the themati os illation from sufferin! to re"irth in these *oems a**ears to follow the *hases of Plath's own menstrual y le'" 7he *ro*osal that an im*ortant *oet's wor#s were si!nifi antly influen ed "y PMS is li#ely to e+er ise a num"er of *eo*le, for ,uite different reasons' 8estheti *urists tend to atta # all su h "iolo!i alinfluen e theories as redu tive, while others dis*ute the s o*e -- and even the e+isten e -- of PMS itself' .eated ontroversies ontinue to ra!e around PMS) whether it is a medi al ondition or a *sy holo!i al one, whether its ause is a la # of *ro!esterone or an ina"ility to meta"oli(e fatty a ids, whether it is an admissi"le tool for le!al defense or an e+ use for riminal ondu t, whether it is treata"le "y hormone thera*y, Pro(a or li"eral doses of St' ?ohn's Aort, whether it is a ste* forward in understandin! women's health or a *oliti ally retro!rade tool for shorin! u* tiresome !ender stereoty*es' Ahile the ontroversy ra!es, the medi al esta"lishment has a e*ted PMS as a "ona fide ondition' 8 ordin! to the most urrent lini al hand"oo# of *sy hiatri dia!noses, the <ia!nosti and Statisti al Manual of Mental <isorders, =ourth 4dition 9<SM-IK, *u"lished "y the 8meri an Psy hiatri 8sso iation in 100B:, "at least 71 *er ent of women re*ort minor or isolated *remenstrual han!es'" 7he <SM-IK estimates that $& to 1& *er ent of menstruatin! women suffer from some form of PMS 9other sour es *ut the num"er as hi!h as 71 *er ent:, while % to 1 *er ent of women are estimated to suffer from the most severe form of PMS, PM<<, or *remenstrual dys*hori disorder' Sym*toms are onsidered *remenstrual if they a**ear durin! the luteal *hase of the y le 9the 1B days "etween ovulation and menstrual flow:, "e!in to remit within a few days of menses and are totally a"sent in the wee# followin! menses' 7o meet the dia!nosti riteria for PM<<, a woman must have at least one severe emotional 9as o**osed to *hysi al: sym*tom ea h month, the severity of whi h must "e !reat enou!h to have a major ne!ative im*a t on normal fun tionin!' 7hom*son *ointed out that Plath unwittin!ly re orded e+*erien in! on a y li al "asis all of the major sym*toms of PMS, as well as many others, in ludin! low im*ulse ontrol, e+treme an!er, une+*lained ryin! and hy*ersensitivity' She also suffered many of the *hysi al sym*toms asso iated with PMS, nota"ly e+treme fati!ue, insomnia and hy*ersomnia, e+treme han!es in a**etite, it hiness, onjun tivitis, rin!in! in the ears, feelin!s of suffo ation, heada hes, heart *al*itations and the e+a er"ation of hroni onditions su h as her famous sinus infe tions' 7hom*son om*ared Plath's re*orted mood and health han!es with the journals, letters and "io!ra*hies and found that her sym*toms seemed to a**ear and disa**ear a"ru*tly on a fairly re!ular s hedule, with lusters of *hysi al sym*toms and de*ressive affe t followed "y dramati han!es in

outloo# and overall *hysi al health' 7hose *atterns an "e dire tly lin#ed to the dates of Plath's a tual menses, *arti ularly in 101@ and 1010, when she most ha"itually noted her y les' ?ud!in! from the *attern of Plath's de*ression and health in late 101$ and in 101% until her 8u!' $B sui ide attem*t, 7hom*son *osited that "it seems reasona"le to on lude that this sui ide attem*t was dire tly *re i*itated "y hormonal disru*tion durin! the late luteal *hase of her menstrual y le and se ondarily "y her loss of self-esteem at "ein! una"le to ontrol her de*ression'" 7hom*son showed that a well-#nown journal entry from =e"' $&, 101;, is learly tra ea"le to Plath's menses, to whi h she refers dire tly a few days later' 7he journal fra!ment ta#es on new meanin! in li!ht of havin! "een written durin! the *hysi ally and emotionally de"ilitatin! luteal *hase of Plath's y le) "<ear <o tor) I am feelin! very si #' I have a heart in my stoma h whi h thro"s and mo #s' Suddenly the sim*le rituals of the day "al# li#e a stu""orn horse' It !ets im*ossi"le to loo# *eo*le in the eye) orru*tion may "rea# out a!ain/ Aho #nows' Small tal# "e omes des*erate' .ostility !rows, too' 7hat dan!erous, deadly venom whi h omes from a si # heart' Si # mind, too'" Cn =e"' $B, the same day she notes in her journal that she has a sinus old and "ato* of this, throu!h the hellish slee*less ni!ht of feverish snifflin! and tossin!, the ma a"re ram*s of my *eriod 9 urse, yes: and the wet, messy s*urt of "lood," Plath wrote a letter to her mother "lamin! her dar# mood on her *hysi al health) "I am so si # of havin! a old every month> li#e this time, it !enerally om"ines with my *eriod'" By *erha*s fateful oin iden e, Plath's =e"' $B, 101;, *eriod is the first she mentions s*e ifi ally in her entire journal> the ne+t day, she met her future hus"and, 7ed .u!hes, at a *arty' 7hom*son e+*lains that disru*tions in the menstrual y le, *arti ularly those aused "y *re!nan y and "reast-feedin!, an have a dramati hormonal im*a t on PMS sufferers> in the two and a half years "etween ?une 1010 and ?anuary 10;$, Plath e+*erien ed three *re!nan ies, one of whi h ended in mis arria!e' In addition, she "reast-fed "oth of her "a"ies for len!thy *eriods 91& months for =rieda, a"out ei!ht months for 3i #, a ordin! to letters to her mother: and *ro"a"ly e+*erien ed very few normal menstrual y les durin! that time' Arote 7hom*son, ".er re*rodu tive history almost !uaranteed some form of e+treme emotional disru*tion on e she "e!an menstruatin! a!ain after the "irth of her se ond hild, with a *ro"a"le further disru*tion followin! the essation of "reastfeedin!' 6i#e many women with PMS, Plath seems to have e+*erien ed relief from y li al sym*toms durin! the last two trimesters of *re!nan y and to have suffered from len!thy *ost*artum de*ressions'" 7hat last disru*tion, in the fall of 10;$ when she weaned 3i holas, would have oin ided with the writin! of the "8riel" *oems' 7hom*son's lose readin! of the "8riel" *oems in terms of Plath's menses noted the dis erni"ly y li *attern of rise and fall in mood and tone in the *oems as well as their many ima!es and themes of "arrenness, fertility, *sy hi *ain, "leedin! and relief, always ontrolled "y the overseein! influen e of the ins*irin! "ut un arin! and all-*owerful moon !oddess' "If I ould "leed, or slee*L" Plath wrote in "Po**ies in ?uly," shortly after the dis overy of her hus"and's adultery in ?uly 10;$, *resuma"ly a time when Plath was not just emotionally distrau!ht "ut also e+*erien in! su**ressed menstruation "e ause of her youn! "a"y's "reast-feedin!' By the fall of 10;$, the *oems 9whi h Plath arefully dated as they were om*leted: seem to follow a *attern of meta*hori al renewals and o*timisti transformations for rou!hly two to three wee#s of artisti *rodu tion, then ja!!ed, seethin! a usations and a!!ression for a ou*le of wee#s' 98s an "e seen in the una"rid!ed journals, for at least two years *rior to the "e!innin! of her first *re!nan y in 1010, Plath's menstrual y les had re!ulated to y les of %& to %1 days, whi h orres*onds with the timin! of the " y les" of the 8riel *oems': 7hom*son's arti le loses on a note of tra!i irony) <alton, who had oined the term "*remenstrual

tension" in 101B and who was the only *hysi ian su essfully treatin! women for severe PMS in 10;%, *ra ti ed in 6ondon' Plath, who had moved to 6ondon from her ountry home in <e em"er 10;$, "died in the only ity in the world where she ould have re eived effe tive medi al treatment'" 7hom*son's PMS theory has "een lar!ely i!nored "y Plath s holars' But it immediately !ained two im*ortant su**orters) 8nne Stevenson, Plath's ontroversial "io!ra*her, and Clwyn .u!hes, Plath's former sister-in-law, whose letters were *u"lished in a su"se,uent issue of 7ri,uarterly' 7hou!h oddly defensive in tone, Stevenson's letter does ommend 7hom*son for her "invalua"le ontri"ution to Plath s holarshi* ''' 2ertainly no future study of Plath will "e a"le to i!nore the *ro"a"le effe ts of *remenstrual syndrome on her ima!ination and "ehavior'" 8nd it states that she wishes she had "een a"le to utili(e 7hom*son's insi!hts in the writin! of her own wor# on Plath' 8 letter from Clwyn .u!hes also on!ratulates 7hom*son for her s holarshi*, "ut unli#e Stevenson, .u!hes *ra ti ally stum"les over herself in ama(ement at the PMS theory' .u!hes, who was ,uoted in ?anet Mal olm's "oo# "7he Silent Aoman) Sylvia Plath and 7ed .u!hes" as hara teri(in! her lon!dead sister-in-law as "*retty strai!ht *oison," wrote to 7hom*son) "It is ,uite a sho # to di!est all this -- after thin#in! for so lon! that Sylvia's su" ons ious mind was her *rison, and to suddenly realise it may well have "een in *art, or wholly, her "ody' But it ertainly tallies with 7ed's mentions -- he has always felt some hemi al im"alan e was involved'" .u!hes further *oints out that 7ed .u!hes had s*o#en of Plath's ravenous a**etite just *rior to her *eriods and as#s, "I wonder if that is a #nown hara teristi of PMS/" 98 ordin! to the PMS literature, it is': But most tellin!ly, Clwyn .u!hes e+*lains that "one of the reasons I was so "owled over "y your *ie e is that Sylvia's dau!hter, very li#e her *hysi ally, suffers ,uite "adly from PMS "ut is, in these enli!htened times, aware of it and treats it'" <r' Hlenn Bair, one of the leadin! e+*erts on PMS treatment and resear h in the Fnited States, onfirmed to Salon that PMS is ty*i ally *assed from mother to dau!hter' In a rare interview a"out her *arents, =rieda .u!hes told the Man hester Huardian in 1007 that after the " olla*se of her health," in ludin! e+treme fati!ue and !yne olo!i al *ro"lems, she underwent a hystere tomy in her %&s' Salon re ently onta ted <alton, who had just retired from medi al *ra ti e in 6ondon after 1$ years' In that interview <alton revealed for the first time that in early 10;% she had, in fa t, "een onta ted "y .order to set u* a onsultation with Plath' 8 ordin! to the Plath "io!ra*hies "y Stevenson and Aa!ner-Martin, Plath only revealed her *sy hiatri history and the e+treme nature of her urrent de*ression to .order in late ?anuary 10;%' "?ohn .order and I had #nown ea h other for some time," <alton said' ".e was fully aware of my wor# and was with me the first time I ever s*o#e in *u"li a"out *remenstrual syndrome in 101B, at the Doyal So iety of Medi ine' Ae were on the 2oun il of Heneral Pra ti e to!ether for $1 years'" 8fter allin! her re!ardin! his *atient Plath, <alton says that .order "referred her to me' -ou don't have to tell me a"out Sylvia Plath' I was to see her, "ut she had #illed herself "efore I ould'" 8fter reviewin! the information in 7hom*son's arti le and as#ed her o*inion of the *ossi"ility that Plath may have suffered from PMS, <alton said, "7here is ,uite a lot of eviden e' Ch yes, I thin# she had it' But the only one who really did understand IPlathJ was ?ohn .order' 7hat's why he had alled me'" Both Aa!ner-Martin and Stevenson, as well as several other Plath "io!ra*hers, have written that .order set u* an a**ointment for Plath with a female do tor, sometimes referred to as a *sy hiatrist, in the last few days of her life' Plath refers to her *lan to see a female do tor in a letter written a wee# "efore her death' Ahether .order had onta ted "oth a *sy hiatrist and <alton is un#nown> when rea hed for omment, .order de lined further statement on Plath's death, itin! his de ision several years a!o to say nothin! more and e+*ressin! his lin!erin! re!ret at what he onsiders his ""rea h of onfidentiality" when he s*o#e *u"li ly of Plath on an earlier o asion'

Bair, who has studied with <alton, !ave his o*inion a"out .order's de ision to onta t a PMS s*e ialist when Plath was in an a ute state of distress' "-ou have to onsider this a"out ?ohn .order' .e was very well onne ted," said Bair' 9.order is the hi!hly res*e ted former *resident of the Doyal 2olle!e of Heneral Pra titioners in 6ondon': ".e most li#ely had a ess to 1&& *sy hiatrists and 1,&&& other s*e ialists' 7he odds of him *i #in! <alton are very small -- "ut you don't send a *atient to a ollea!ue without havin! a stron! "elief that their s*e ialty will hel* that *atient' =or one minor *oint, do tors don't have the time to ta#e "lind referrals for *atients not a**li a"le to their s*e ialty' 3either do the *atients -- es*e ially *atients in dire need of hel*'" 8fter a areful review of 7hom*son's arti le, of a seven-*a!e monthly "rea#down of Plath's sym*toms for 101@ throu!h 1010 and of the do umented eviden e of Plath's *re!nan ies and *ost*artum sym*toms of 1010 throu!h 10;$, Bair said, "If you ha # throu!h the PM<< riteria, I thin# that you'll find that she fits the PM<< *rofile'" Aith the *u"li ation of the una"rid!ed journals, even more of Plath's "io!ra*hi al re ord an "e assessed in li!ht of 7hom*son's PMS theory' 7he more thorou!h and a urate datin! of entries in journals for 101@ and 1010 in *arti ular fleshes out the *revalen e and *atternin! of Plath's numerous referen es to her *hysi al sym*toms and feelin!s' 8mon! the do(ens of Plath's ommentaries that a**ear to "e uni,ue to the luteal *hase of her y les are these) "8m I livin! half alive/" "8 *e uliar hun!er and thirst u*on me'" "I have an ominously red, sore E swollen eyelid, a ,ueer red s*ot on my li* -- and this enervatin! fati!ue li#e a se ret and destru tive fever'" "My eyelid's hot stin!in! it h has s*read ''' to all my "ody) s al*, le!, stoma h) as if an it h, infe tious, lit and "urned, lit and "urned' I feel li#e s rat hin! my s#in off' 8nd a dull tor*or shuttin! me in my own *rison of hi!hstrun! de*ression ''' I feel a"out to "rea# out in le*rosy ''' my eyes are #illin! me -- what is wron! with them'" 7he notorious 101@ in ident with .u!hes and a female university student on Plath's last day of tea hin! too# *la e, as 7hom*son had earlier su!!ested and the una"rid!ed journals now onfirm, durin! the luteal *hase of Plath's y le> so did the memora"le ""utton ,uarrel" "etween Plath and .u!hes' Plath's "une+*lained" fevers, whi h would re ur and "e ome immortali(ed in the "8riel" *eriod, are re orded e+ lusively in the luteal *hase of her y les, as are a vast majority of her hroni sinus trou"les' Fsin! "oth the una"rid!ed journals to assess y li al *atternin! and Plath's alendars from 101$ and 101% 9housed in the Fniversity of Indiana's 6illy 6i"rary:, in whi h Plath re orded her *eriods throu!h ?uly 101%, it seems overwhelmin!ly li#ely that Plath was, as 7hom*son ontended, in either the luteal or the *erimenstrual *hase of her menses at the time of her 101% sui ide attem*t' 4ven in idents that o urred durin! the time overed "y destroyed or lost journals an "e illuminated "y 7hom*son's PMS theory, ou*led with outside do umentary eviden e' =or e+am*le, the due dates of Plath's se ond and third *re!nan ies and her weanin! s hedule for =rieda in 10;&, all noted in her letters, larify that three of Plath's most disastrous e*isodes of violent or antiso ial "ehavior o urred durin! the luteal *hase of her y les, whi h was made even more a ute "y *re!nan y' Plath's <e em"er 10;& ar!ument with Clwyn in -or#shire, after whi h the sisters-in-law never saw ea h other a!ain, too# *la e when Plath was newly *re!nant for the se ond time "ut in what was hormonally the late luteal *hase of her y le' Cne month later, in an irrational fit of jealous ra!e, Plath destroyed her hus"and's most *re ious *ossession, his leather"ound o*y of the C+ford 2olle ted Sha#es*eare, as well as all of his *a*ers and wor#s in draft on his des#> a few days later, Plath mis arried' 9Mis arria!e is also onsidered a fairly ommon sym*tom of severe PMS': =ive months later, now *re!nant for the third time, Plath wrea#ed haos durin! a va ation to =ran e at the summer home of *oet A'S' Merwin and his wife, <ido, a holiday from hell re ounted with indeli"le animus "y <ido Merwin in Stevenson's Plath "io!ra*hy' 8!ain, the tri*'s date *la es Plath in the late luteal *hase of her y le'

7he una"rid!ed journals reveal that on Mar h $&, 1010, Plath's *sy hoanalyst told her that " ram*s are all mental after ar!uin! a!ainst natural hild"irth, sayin! *ain was real," whi h ould only have served to in rease Plath's ina"ility to onne t her sym*toms to a ause that was "eyond her ontrol' 7hou!h Plath's ram*s and many more of her sym*toms were *hysi ally, *al*a"ly e+*ressed, their im*a t on her interior, "mental" life was e,ually real' Plath endlessly noted her a!oni(in! sym*toms, asti!ated herself for her ina"ility to !ain ontrol over her life, even dreamed fre,uently a"out her *eriods, and yet ould not ma#e the onne tion "etween her y les of fertility and y les of torment' "-esterday was a horror," Plath wrote durin! the luteal *hase of her y le in Mar h 101@' "7ed said somethin! a"out the moon and Saturn to e+*lain the urse whi h strun! me ti!ht as a wire and twan!ed unmer ifully'" 8 month later, Plath des ri"es a ni!htmare in whi h she wat hes a "diamond moon" *assin! "y "efore she "e omes a moon herself) "I was lifted, u*, my stoma h E fa e toward earth, as if hun! *er*endi ular in mid-air of a room with a *ole throu!h my middle E someone twirlin! me a"out on it ''' E my whole e,uili"rium went off, !iddy, as I s*un E they s*un "elow E I heard sur!i al, distant, stellar voi es dis ussin! me E my e+*erimental *redi ament E *lannin! what to do ne+t'" Plath's journal is rowded with referen es to the moon, whi h nota"ly wor#ed itself into her *oetry> a journal entry from 101& that had a**eared in the 10@$ edition ta#es on even !reater meta*hori meanin! in li!ht of the PMS theory) 7oni!ht I wanted to ste* outside for a few moments "efore !oin! to "ed, it was so snu! and stale-aired in the house' I was in my *ajamas, my freshly washed hair u* on urlers' So I tried to o*en the front door' 7he lo # sna**ed as I turned it> I tried the handle' 7he door wouldn't o*en' 8nnoyed, I turned the handle the other way' 3o res*onse' I twisted the lo # ''' still the door was stu #, white, "lan# and eni!mati ' I !lan ed u*' 7hrou!h the !lass s,uare, hi!h in the door, I saw a "lo # of s#y, *ier ed "y the shar* "la # *oints of the *ines a ross the street' 8nd there was the moon, almost full, luminous and yellow, "ehind the trees' I felt suddenly "reathless, stifled' I was tra**ed, with the tantali(in! little s,uare of ni!ht a"ove me, and the warm, feminine atmos*here of the house envelo*in! me in its thi #, feathery smotherin! em"ra e' 7he una"rid!ed journals now date Plath's writin! of "Moonrise," a *oem meta*hori ally meditatin! on the ""oney mother" moon and ho*es of *re!nan y 9"7he "erries *ur*le5and "leed' 7he white stoma h may ri*en yet":, as havin! "een written in Plath's luteal *hase' 7he *oem "Meta*hors" -- the meta*hors "ein! those for *re!nan y -- was om*leted on Mar h $&, 1010, in the *erimenstrual *hase, *resuma"ly "e!un when Plath still thou!ht she mi!ht "e *re!nant' 9"Mar h $&, =riday' -esterday a nadir of sorts ''' Pre!nant, I thou!ht' 3o su h lu #'": 8nother *oem, "8 6ife," in whi h a woman dra!s her shadow around the moon "ut has "een e+or ised of "!rief and an!er," was om*leted on 3ov' 1@, 10;&, and so was written durin! the wee# in whi h Plath 9a ordin! to the dates she !ave her mother: must have ovulated and "e ome *re!nant for the se ond time' Be ause Plath's su"je t matter in these *oems is so "latantly and dire tly lin#ed to the *hase of her menstrual y le at the time the *oems were written, their s*e ifi datin! and the ir umstan es of their *rodu tion !ive more reden e to 7hom*son's on lusions a"out Plath's menstrual y les affe tin! the reation of *oems durin! the "8riel" *eriod, for whi h there is no dated eviden e of menstrual y les' 7he una"rid!ed journals reveal some *ro"lems with 7hom*son's theory, "ut they are mostly minor datin! mista#es that don't ultimately undermine her findin!s' 7he more im*ortant *oint made evident "y the una"rid!ed journals is that Plath's mood swin!s did not run on as *redi ta"le a s hedule as 7hom*son assumed' 7hou!h Plath's *hysi al sym*toms eva*orate almost mira ulously with the onset

of her *eriods, her emotional turmoil remains un*redi ta"le throu!hout the month' 7he dia!nosti definitions for PMS and PM<< state that sym*toms "are always a"sent in the wee# after menses"> however, Bair has noti ed in his lini al *ra ti e that with PMS, de*ression "is the slowest sym*tom to lear, and in fa t seems to "uild u* over time," ou*led with the de line of a woman's self-esteem as she finds herself una"le to ontrol her emotions' Several studies on PMS orro"orate Bair's o"servations' 7he years for whi h we have the most onsistent and detailed menstrual data for Plath, 101@ and 1010, are unfortunately years in whi h Plath was also sun# in a lon!-term de*ression over her tea hin! jo" and her onse,uent writer's "lo #' It is, then, almost im*ossi"le to sort Plath's emotional res*onses to *otential PMS from her on!oin! de*ression' 7he years 101$ and 101%, two years for whi h we also have a urate datin! of Plath's menses, are years in whi h Plath's emotional life is far more varied and the traje tory of her dee*enin! de*ression is easier to dete t> and yet even durin! these early years Plath's moods do not onsistently orres*ond to her y les in a way that *oints un,uestiona"ly at PMS' It may "e, as is often the ase with PMS sufferers, that Plath's PMS worsened as she !rew older> it may also "e that somethin! else was at wor# in Plath's "iolo!i al war with her selves' 7here is a stri#in! overla* and similarity "etween the sym*toms of severe PMS and the de*ressive *hase of "i*olar II that a**ly in Plath's ase) insomnia and hy*ersomnia, a**etite han!es, low im*ulse ontrol and irrita"ility, mood la"ility, restlessness and an+iety, fati!ue and lethar!y, feelin!s of inade,ua y and ma!nified !uilt, and sui idal thou!hts and a tion' Sin e a dia!nosis of "i*olar II fits Plath's "ehavioral and hereditary *rofile without e+*lainin! her y li al *hysi al sym*toms or her artisti *reo u*ation with her fertility, while PMS does not fully a ount for Plath's overall flu tuation of moods and her hy*omani states, it seems reasona"le to hy*othesi(e that Plath may have suffered from "oth "i*olar II disorder and a severe ase of PMS' Medi al and *sy hiatri resear hers have "een investi!atin! onne tions "etween affe tive illnesses and menstruation in re ent years, *arti ularly the overla**in! nature of sym*toms for PMS and mood disorders as well as the o-mor"idity of the illnesses 9the num"er and li#elihood of women havin! "oth illnesses at on e, as well as how the illnesses affe t ea h other:' 7he PM<< riteria of the <SM-IK state that women with re urrent major de*ressive disorder 9M<<:, "i*olar I or "i*olar II or even a family history of su h disorders may "e at !reater ris# for PM<<' Cther findin!s are that women with M<< or ra*id- y lin! "i*olar disorder ommonly e+*erien e "*remenstrual e+a er"ation" of their mood sym*toms> that PMS may tri!!er affe tive e*isodes and that PMS is *ossi"ly a uni,ue form of affe tive disorder> that women with *ast or urrent *sy hiatri illness, *rin i*ally affe tive disorders, re*ort a hi!her in iden e of PMS than normal ontrols> that PMS is not sim*ly always a *remenstrual worsenin! of affe tive illness "ut has validity inde*endent of other affe tive syndromes> that there tends to "e a y le-to- y le worsenin! of *remenstrual sym*toms and de*ression *rior to *rolon!ed e*isodes of M<<> that women with *ost*artum de*ression are more li#ely to develo* *remenstrual de*ressions several months after the resum*tion of menses> that some women may have a "iolo!i al vulnera"ility for mood disorders that is "tri!!ered" "y menstrual han!es> and that the relationshi* "etween PMS and "i*olar illness does not always stay stati over a woman's lifetime' 7he y les do not ne essarily oin ide, and in some *hases the woman may have "*ure" PMS5PM<< while at other times she has *remenstrual worsenin! of her mood disorder' Cne of the most distur"in! similarities "etween "i*olar II and severe PMS is the *otentially lethal nature of "oth illnesses' Hoodwin and ?amison's "Mani <e*ressive Illness" re*orts that "*atients with de*ressive and mani -de*ressive illnesses are far more li#ely to ommit sui ide than individuals in any other *sy hiatri or medi al ris# !rou*'" 7he sui ide statisti s on PMS sufferers are e,ually

atastro*hi ' Some studies have shown that u* to one-third of severe PMS sufferers have attem*ted sui ide' 8 ordin! to a 100% study alled "7he Menstrual 2y le and Mood <isorders" "y <r' ?ean 4ndi ott of the 3ew -or# State Psy hiatri Institute, there is eviden e that sui ide attem*ts are more li#ely durin! the *remenstrual *hase of the y le, and "there is eviden e from auto*sies that om*leted sui ide is more li#ely to o ur durin! the late luteal *hase of the y le'" 8nother study, "Premenstrual 7ension Syndrome in Da*id-2y lin! Bi*olar 8ffe tive <isorder" "y Ailliam 8' Pri e and 6ynn <iMar(io, notes that "the *aramenstruum, the B days *re edin! and the first B days of menstruation, is asso iated with in reased rates of medi al, sur!i al, and *sy hiatri hos*itali(ations> in reased rates of sui ide attem*ts> and in reased severity of sui idal intent'" 7hese findin!s su**ort those of <alton, whose studies of British women have shown that sui ide attem*ts in rease 17-fold durin! the luteal *hase as o**osed to the *reovulatory *hase of the y le' 7hou!h s ientifi resear hers have noted that there is a relationshi* "etween "i*olar illness and PMS, they have not yet larified the *arameters of that relationshi*' 3evertheless, it an "e autiously on luded that Plath suffered from some de!ree of "oth affe tive and *remenstrual illness, even if how those two illnesses may have orres*onded is im*ossi"le to dete t' Ahy does it matter/ Ahy try to understand who Plath was "eyond what rises immediately to the surfa e in her *oetry/ Perha*s the answer lies first with Plath's easeless desire to understand the dendriti and o*erati ma hinations of her *sy he, her "million filaments," and how that ,uest for self "e ame not just the drivin! for e "ehind her reativity "ut also the undenia"le #ey to the ri hly te+tured artistry it *rodu ed' Plath was ultimately as mu h an eni!ma to herself as she is now to us' <urin! the wee#s "efore her death she was fervently en!a!ed in *uttin! to!ether the *u((le of her "8riel" *oems, !ivin! them a lo!i al se,uen e, a narrative ohesion that amounted to a mythi *erformative utteran e' She was *uttin! them in an order that would tell her the story of her own survival, her *hoeni+li#e eru*tion from the ashes of her destroyed marria!e and the shed s#in of her "false" selves' "Aill the hive survive, will the !ladiolas5Su eed in "an#in! their fires57o enter another year/" she had as#ed herself in "Ainterin!," the *oem, almost a *rayer, that she hose to end her "8riel" manus ri*t in <e em"er 10;$' "7he "ees are flyin!," the *oem on ludes' "7hey taste the s*rin!'" Plath wanted to #now that she would survive that 4n!lish winter> she willed herself, as she had done ountless times "efore, toward the s*rin! of her inner life' Fnderstandin! Plath's "iolo!y unders ores her very human, as o**osed to i oni , instin t toward self*reservation' If one a e*ts the *ossi"ility that Plath's true demon was not somethin! of her own ma#in! "ut a for e, or for es, she was ,uite *owerless a!ainst, her attem*ts to ju!!le the details of her daily life, to are for herself and her small hildren alone and furthermore to *ro!rammati ally write "dawn *oems in "lood" to save her sanity seem nothin! less than oura!eous' It also hints at the *ossi"ility that Plath's nota"le *remonitory a"ilities 9ver!in! on tele*athy:, her seemin!ly numinous sensitivity, may have arisen in some *art from a su" ons ious understandin! that her *sy holo!i al sufferin! was also the sour e, in a very material way, of her internal artisti fire -- the fire that would finally "urn hot enou!h to wor# the al hemi al han!e that .u!hes des ri"ed' Ahat is "reathta#in! a"out the *ossi"ility that Plath may have suffered "oth "i*olar II and PMS is that in tandem, those two illnesses totally inte!rate her daily and ima!inative life, her artisti fas inations and her emotional des*air, her life as a woman and as a writer, and they do so without diminishin! Plath's a hievement in any way' .er ars *oeti a, not just "rilliantly e+e uted "ut "rilliantly won des*ite un"elieva"le odds, lea*s into fo us in even more astonishin! detail than ever "efore' 8s ?amison remar#s of mysti *oet Ailliam Bla#e in "7ou hed Aith =ire," "su!!estin! the dia!nosis

of mani -de*ressive illness for Bla#e does not detra t from the om*le+ity of his life> it may, however, add a different #ind of understandin! to it' 6i#ewise, it does not render his wor# any the less e+traordinary, or ma#e him any less a !reat visionary or *ro*het' I7he dia!nosisJ may not e+*lain all or even most of who he was' But, surely, it does e+*lain some'" In Plath's ase, the onje tural dia!nosis of mani -de*ression and PMS may e+*lain almost everythin!' 8nd it only ma#es more mira ulous what .u!hes on e des ri"ed as "the truly mira ulous thin! a"out her," a thin! he dire tly attri"uted to Plath's fertility, an event *re i*itated "y the "irths of her two hildren) "In two years, while she was almost fully o u*ied with hildren and house-#ee*in!, she underwent a *oeti develo*ment that has hardly any e,ual on re ord, for suddenness and om*leteness ''' 8ll the various voi es of her !ift ame to!ether, and for a"out si+ months, u* to a day or two "efore her death, she wrote with the full *ower and musi of her e+traordinary nature'" In a stunnin! turna"out, her devastatin! illnesses may not have just ins*ired Plath "ut also enhan ed her a"ility to a**rehend her material and sha*e it' Plath's su"terranean onne tion to her female "iolo!y seems to have "een ali!ned with the e+*ansive flourish of hy*omania's su**le thin#in!, its fli!hts "a # into the aves and oves of the mind' Ahile she was writin! the *oems of "8riel" in the fall of 10;$, "ein! "*ulled throu!h the intestine of Hod," as she alled it in a letter, she was also arefully orre tin! the !alleys for "7he Bell ?ar" -- in other words, she was en!a!ed in "oth a reative a t re,uirin! the limitless *ro"in! of *sy hi de*ths and the or!ani(ational feat of lo!i and o"je tivity demanded "y editin!' Ahen one onsiders the *re ision and feverish !ra e of Plath's last si+ months of writin!, it is im*ossi"le to ima!ine her as anythin! "ut utterly in ontrol of that !ift' Cne mi!ht say that Plath was a"le, for a finite and deli ately "alan ed *eriod, to use her illnesses to #een artisti advanta!e' "I feel li#e a hi!hly effi ient tool, or wea*on," Plath marveled that fall' Plath's fertility, to whi h she may have !ained !reater fi!urative a ess throu!h "i*olar illness, then "e ame "oth her dar#ness and her !lory -- her artisti salvation and her downfall, a dou"le-fa ed !ift she themati(ed, whether ons iously or un ons iously, in her *oetry' 3o one has ever written more un annily of motherhood than Plath, or a*tured so *er e*tively the sho # of maternal otherness -- its fri!htenin! and awesome om*le+ity and distan e, feelin!s as !enuine and "normal" as love and onne tion' Plath understood and e+*erien ed motherhood as "mu h dee*er, mu h loser to the "one" than love or marria!e, and yet her hy*ersensitive awareness of what is losest to the "one -- the as*e t of motherhood that is su"je tive and stran!e and di tated "y "lood -- ta*s into a vein of truth not easily em"ra ed "y the usual e+alted sentiments' "I'm no more your mother," Plath wrote, "than the loud that distills a mirror to refle t its own slow54ffa ement at the wind's hand'" 7his re urrin! maternal ima!ery of hthoni se*aration, a**arent even to a asual reader of Plath, is a lear manifestation, at some level, of the mi+ed "lessin! of Plath's female "ody' It is also why so many riti s have a used her of am"ivalen e toward motherhood -- a rude misa**rehension of Plath's an!uished and *rofound relationshi* to her own fertility' Fltimately, the foremost reason to try to understand Plath is that it leads us unfailin!ly "a # to her *oems, the wor# she #new ,ualified her as "a !enius of a writer'" 8s insulated a!ainst easy a ess as Plath's *oetry remains, it is astoundin! to note how many *assionately moved readers she has won over B& years, and how often women, in *arti ular, will say that they first read her in s hool, *erha*s voyeuristi ally, and later ame to "understand" her and value her writin! on a dee*ly intuitive level only after marria!e and hildren' .er *oems ontinue to reward readin! after readin!, year after year> they remain as multifa eted, mysterious and "ristlin! with life as the eni!ma of their reator, who was in her dee*est "ein! a woman, a mother and an artist'

"7hey saved me," Plath told .u!hes in <e em"er 10;$, s*ea#in! of the fury and a!ony she *oured into "8riel'" "Cne an see a !reat revival of s*irits in her letters," .u!hes wrote many years later to 8urelia Plath of those "lea# months after Plath and .u!hes s*lit u*, Plath insistin! that she would settle for nothin! other than a divor e' "8nd that was the front she *resented to me at the time," .u!hes ontinued' "But as I've said it was only in that last wee# that her front rum*led and I realised the whole thin! was a "luff' But then she was !oin! off for the wee#end and Monday mornin! was too late'" Ahen she wrote her last letter to her mother, Plath was on antide*ressants, and .order, who was s ram"lin! to !et her a hos*ital "ed, was allin! or seein! her daily' Plath's friends in 6ondon have re*orted that she seemed distrau!ht and des*erate and was so distra ted that she ould no lon!er are for her hildren's daily needs' Cn =e"' B, 10;%, one wee# "efore her death, Plath wrote reassurin!ly to 8urelia, "I am !oin! to start seein! a woman do tor, free on the 3ational .ealth, to whom I've "een referred "y my very !ood lo al do tor, whi h should hel* me weather this diffi ult time'" Cn =e"' 7, she wrote with "ris# effi ien y to friends in <evon that she was omin! "a #' 9"I lon! to see my home," she said': Between those letters, Plath om*osed her final *oem, "4d!e," in whi h the unmoved moon o"serves the "*erfe ted" "ody of a dead woman) 7he moon has nothin! to "e sad a"out, Starin! from her hood of "one' She is used to this sort of thin!' .er "la #s ra #le and dra!' 7o the very end Sylvia Plath hid "ehind her mas#s, *ullin! her veils around her even into death' Cne an only wonder who, that last winter Monday, she thou!ht she was then'