WWZ Rhetorical Analysis Revision Strategy

After reading my feed back from my peers, I know I have a lot of revising to do. In my introduction I need to rearrange the sentence order to make it flow a lot better. I also could include the audience Max Brooks targeted with this novel. I need to introduce quotes better, and also the point I am going to analyze. Also in my second body paragraph I need to go deeper and say the importance of the point I am making and relate it back to the thesis. In regards to the quotes I need to spread them out more, so I can actually explain it more, instead of just putting most of them in the introduction. I was given feedback to incorporate the quotes I mentioned in the introduction into my thesis, because my thesis did not incorporate them. In my third body paragraph I need to do some deeper analysis because I was told it only skimmed and was very vague in comparing and tying it into the thesis.