Sulliman Al-Ostaz Ms.

Fender English 150 Section HK Assignment #5 Revised Writing Reflection

Al-Ostaz 1

For my revision piece, I chose to revise assignment number two, the Letter-as-Essay. For this assignment, we were to create a map of our favorite places in Ames or Iowa State. Then, we had to write a letter to someone close to us, describing why these places are significant to us. This assignment was challenging for me because I had not wrote many letters before. I chose this piece because it was the piece that I scored the worst on and needed the most improvement on. My revision consisted of rereading my assignment and modifying it to make it more successful in capturing its point. My original title was not creative, so I changed it to, My Home Away From Home. I thought that my introduction sounded good, so I decided to leave it the way it was. I reorganized my body paragraphs in order of relevancy. I spent most of my time at the Parks Library and Capanna Coffee and Gelato; then, my apartment; and last, my friends apartment. I made the most modification to the paragraph about the Parks Library and Capanna Coffee and Gelato. In this paragraph, I added some of the history about the Parks Library and how it relates to the Iowa State mission. This was a requirement of assignment two that I failed to do. In the paragraph about my friends apartment, I added things that my friends and I do other than playing music. In all of my body paragraphs, there were areas where I went into too much detail about a particular topic. I chose to delete and condense some of these areas. For example, in the paragraph about my apartment, I wrote five sentences about my living room. I condensed that down into two sentences in my revised paper. I altered one sentence in my conclusion. I kept the rest of my conclusion the same.

Sulliman Al-Ostaz Ms. Fender English 150 Section HK Assignment #5

Al-Ostaz 2

This revision activity demonstrates the benefits of this course. Since assignment two, I have grown as a writer and communicator. Using the insights that I have gained in English 150 and feedback from my instructor, I was able to re-see my letter and revise it to capture the main point of assignment two.