Cameron Lynch CF Lynch Hall Room 429 9201 University City Blvd Charlotte, NC 28223 clynch33@uncc.edu 919.559.

5817 September 10, 2013 To: Crown Commons Management Dear Sirs and Madams: Since being enrolled as student of UNC Charlotte, I am proud to say I am a regular diner of Crown Commons in the Student Union. It is conveniently located in front of my residence hall. However, throughout my regular visits I noticed the little things I would encounter at Crown. First things first, I love to go out and eat on the outside deck when its a nice day. The doors that lead to the outside deck have handles. I always have my hands full with either two plates or a plate and a cup. Its just happens to be my luck that theres nobody around to open the door. This results in me having to put my glass on the floor to open the door. There are no handles on the other side of the doors so when you walk back in from outside, you have to budge the door with your body to push the door open. I suggest the university should install automatic doors so that students have easier access going to and from the outside deck. Secondly, whenever I go to grab utensils, specifically forks, they were never there. This requires me to walk over to the other side of the cafeteria in hopes that there are some over there. Sometimes I have to make a triangular loop from each side of the cafeteria until I finally find some near the salad bar. It gets so annoying that this happens on a regular basis. There should always be an equal number of every set of utensils around each dispenser in the cafeteria. Next, one of the ice machines at Crown Commons is always empty. It never fails that the ice machine is always empty on the side I happen to be sitting on. Then, I have to get up and walk all the way to the other ones. I remember one day when both of the main ice machines were empty. I had to go to the one off to the side beside the burger line and that barely put four4 cubes in my cup. I hate drinking soda with very little ice in my cup. The staff in the cafeteria should make sure there is always enough ice in every machine. Lastly, one thing that really threw me off one day at Crown, was when I went to go get a cup of soda. I put my cup under the Dr. Pepper dispenser and out came water. Since I was curious, I dumped out the water and put my cup under the water dispense and out comes came Dr. Pepper. (I walked away just shaking my head.) These are the things Ive notice that interrupt my dining experience at Crown Commons. I would really appreciate if you take my experience and consider fixing the issues I pointed out. Sincerely, Cameron Lynch

Comment [AP1]: Good, I like how you establish a good rapport with your audience in the beginning. Comment [AP2]: Why start this way?

Comment [AP3]: Arent certain utensils used more than others?

Comment [AP4]: Okay, this seems pretty reasonable. Comment [AP5]: What does this mean?

Comment [AP6]: This sort of obligatory summary sentence reads robotically.

Cameron Lynch Rhetorical Analysis First off, my audience through the whole complaint letter is the Crown Commons Management. I am speaking on the behalf of not only myself, but the student body because I know I am not the only one who has these problems at Crown. To address this audience properly, I addressed my letter to Crown Commons Management. Throughout my body, I used logos because its all logic. It doesnt make sense that the doors are so hard to open. Crown Commons should always keep enough forks supplied and the ice machines full. Lastly, drinks should always be in the right dispenser. For my conclusion, I wanted to keep it nice and to the point. I didnt want to leave Crown Commons Management lost and confused. I really wanted them to take in consideration my thoughts on the cafeteria and what could be done to better improve their customers experiences.
Comment [AP7]: Why begin something this way. Do people need to be told First at the beginning of an essay? Cant they intuit that the first part of the essay is the first without being told its the first?

Cameron, I think a couple of the complaints here are valid and worth inquiring about and I really like the diplomatic tone you adopt here that would certainly allow the audience to receive your complaint a little easier than, say, an aggressive one. You analysis is, on the other hand, obviously lacking. I really need a discussion here and the most important part of this assignment is the analysis. I really want to see thoughtful reflection on your own work.