Encased

In a dream I am falling Numb annoyance jabbing me as doom approaches at a rapid pace Waiting for the curtain call to come But it simply refuses to summon me Encore they cry Encore Encore Pulling up the ragged marionette every time it crashes to the floor Haunted smile and eerie jagged limbs shuddering back to life Dancing its wicked bone dance Falling once again in the finale every time To rise like the phoenix And Im drunk on me High on her Intoxicated by the hate of love and the hurt it brings me Withering away under the anger and sadness Typing and tapping and writing and scribbling and scratching White being cut out by venom like a tumor and discarded when it soaks too deep Try again, try again, try again, try again, try again But its the same same same same same same same same Except when its not mine and its not mine and its not mine And I want to scream but I dont have the words to express the screams I want to scream But inside I scream scream scream scream scream scream scream Pulling out fistfuls of hair and flesh and fiery clumps of emotions too unstable to be labeled Smash the walls with broken hands that swing limply in rage Laden with fragmented shards of inadequacy Make it all go away, make it stop, let the pillow slip over its little face until it stops moving

Mangle the outside til it shows the inside cuz I cant fix the inside to resemble the outside All the time struggling to live, to breathe, to sleep, to cry, to pour out the festering faceless horrors onto the page But dictionaries, things full of words cannot expel what has no definition and no base to dance upon Let me down, let me down, leave me alone, stop blathering, stop prodding, stop laughing, stop existing, stop being so god damn mundane so Im less alone Go away Go away Go away Tie the noose tighter or let me go back to rotting Just leave me alone Let me down, I dont want to play anymore Let me go home I want to go home But I have no home I have no home A wanderer eternally Lusts to never be sated I dont want to play anymore I dont And it ends Before my tenuous grip on reality fades, it ends Then I awake to the lid of my coffin and pray for sleep to retake me