Poems By Ogden Nash

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Reflection on Babies A bit of talcum Is always walcum %amily Court One would be in less danger %rom the wiles of a stranger If one"s own kin and kith &ere more fun to be with )ather as *ou +o Beneath ,ohn Brown He watched And not the !he %ly this slab is stowed the ads road

!he Parent Children aren"t ha##y with nothing to ignore$ And that"s what #arents were created for 'ong of the O#en Road I think that I shall ne(er see billboard as lo(ely as a tree Perha#s unless the billboards fall$ I"ll ne(er see a tree at all !he -og !he truth I do not stretch or sho(e &hen I state that the dog is full of lo(e I"(e also found$ by actual test$ A wet dog is the lo(ingest !he Cow !he cow is of bo(ine ilk. One end is moo$ the other is milk Refle0ions on Ice1Breaking Candy is dandy But li2uor is 2uicker &hat"s the 3se4 'ure$ deck your limbs in #ants. *ours are the limbs$ my sweeting *ou look di(ine as you ad(ance 11 Ha(e you seen yourself retreating4 A &ord to Husbands !o kee# your marriage brimming$ &ith lo(e in the lo(ing cu#$ &hene(er you"re wrong$ admit it. &hene(er you"re right$ shut u# Reflection on the %allibiity of Nemesis He who is ridden by a conscience &orries about a lot of nonscience. He without benefit of scru#les His fun and income soon 2uadru#les Crossing the Border 'enescence begins And middle age ends !he day your descendents Outnumber your friends

!he )ord in His wisdom made the fly$ And then forgot to tell us why !he /el I don"t mind eels /0ce#t as meals And the way they feels Biological Reflection A girl whose cheeks are co(ered with #aint Has an ad(antage with me o(er one whose ain"t !he Perfect Husband He tells you when you"(e got on too much li#stick And hel#s you with your girdle when your hi#s stick +rand#a is Ashamed A child need not be (ery cle(er !o learn that 5)ater$ dear5 means 5Ne(er 5 )ines on %acing %orty I ha(e a bone to #ick with fate$ Come here and tell me girly$ -o you think my mind is maturing late$ Or sim#ly rotting early

!he Panther !he #anther is like a leo#ard$ /0ce#t it hasn"t been #e##ered 'hould you behold a #anther crouch$ Pre#are to say Ouch Better yet$ if called by a #anther$ -on"t anther

!he )ama !he one1l lama$ He"s a #riest. !he two1l llama$ He"s a beast And I will bet A silk #a6ama !here isn"t any !hree1l lllama