C. P.

Gasiorowski

The Icy Fingers of Doom

Unicorn of Love was running as fast as his hooves would take him. Darting past the cold tombstones, he was stopped hard. Ahhh! The four-legged horned horse screamed in terror. Gold, no! He looked to his left, No! he looked to his right, No! he looked behind himself, now panting from fear and from rushing through the viny graveyard to escape the little green Irish men. Nooooo! Unicorn of love died right there in the middle of the graveyard. Legend has it that if on October 31st, Halloween Night, and if the moon is full, like it was that night, and if a Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows Secret Society member is surrounded by gold between 8:57pm and 9:03pm the piercing screams will never be heard and the member will die right there. That has been the known reason that unicorns and leprechauns can never be in contact with each other. Gold?! Not possible. We got rid of all the gold with our first class extermination team. In Flavinflavaflueflue* this would be considered to be a disgrace and a nusense to be informed of. Get rid of it now! Thats an order. shouted Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows Secret Society leader, Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows. Yes Master, replied three servants in unison. We will not fail you. Very well then, carry on. Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows turned his attention to Unicorn of Gumdrops, the head agent for the Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows Secret Society, and said, As for you, absolutely excellent findings! Now bring me the corpse before the maggots find it. Unicorn of Gumdrops set off for the graveyard wondering if it was safe to be out, lighted by a full moon, in the haunted graveyard at 11:03 pm on Halloween night with a killer leprechaun on the loose. His unconfirmed suspicions were that it was the Sinister Leprechaun of Sorcery who put the gold out. Unicorn of Gumdrops stared in amazement at the empty pots of gold and the missing corpse. (Mostly the missing corpse.) Suddenly his amazement turned to fear: little footprints lead up to the spot where the corpse was supposed to be. A wide unicorn-sized path of displaced dirt had lie where the tiny evil footprints stopped. Unicorn of Gumdrops came to the conclusion that one of Sinister Leprechaun of Sorcerys minions had drug Unicorn of Loves body back to Leprechaun of Sorcerys experimental lab of doom! Da da daah!!! Hahahahaa! shouted Leprechaun of Sorcery to himself, Ive got Unicorn of Loves body right here. Ill use his blood and pour it into the cauldron, then Ill pour the mysterious potion into the horn of the Unicorn. Wow, he thought to himself, I did a
*Flavinflavaflueflue (Fla-vin-fla-vuh-floo-floo) is a country on an island way out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, 2173 miles south of Honolulu. It is very tiny.

C. P. Gasiorowski really good job on this potion. Maybe once my secret society takes over the world, Ill treat myself out to a doughnut. Sssssssssss! Ah, the potion is ready. Finally I can take over the world with my icy fingers of doom! Ha, ha ha ha ha haahh! Sinister Leprechaun of Sorcery trembled to himself with delight. The mystery mix went splash as it hit the hollowed out unicorn horn. Unicorn of Gumdrops followed the path where Unicorn of Loves body was presumably drug. He peered in and gasped, Oh no! Unicorn of Gumdrops realized he had spoken too loud and corrected his voice to the proper spying volume. Its 1679 all over again! Well, history does repeat itself. Unicorn of Gumdrops quietly trotted away, trying not to make much noise but did not reach that goal. He stepped on a twig, whoops! said Unicorn of Gumdrops a little too loudly again. Stop right there, mister or misses! Screamed Leprechaun of Sorcery, this time to somebody. That somebody was Unicorn of Gumdrops. I warned you one hundred ninety four years ago in 1679 when I took Unicorn of Fairies life to do this; but sadly on my part, I whipped up the wrong potion and I accidently dropped it on to Unicorn of Fairies body. She awoke almost instantly and galloped through the wall with so much speed I thought I had dropped a jet potion on to her. Anyway, I lost my chance to take over the world and now youll pay for it and for that hole in the wall. That cost me five hundred shillings to fix. Glug, glug, glug went the suspicious potion down the Sinister Leprechaun of Sorcerys small throat. Unicorn of Gumdrops was unable to move. He was surrounded. There were no weapons or traps or evil leprechauns hiding behind gravestones but he was still surrounded. Surrounded by gruesome fear coming from all directions, he felt like he was in a horror film. Unicorn of Gumdrops was frozen with fear, unable to move, therefore unable to escape the green little sinister man with the legendary icy fingers of doom coming toward him! Da da da daah!!! Leprechaun of Sorcery grinningly looked at his chilling fingers then at the still frozen with fear Unicorn of Gumdrops. He had a simple and glorious plan. Aaaahhhh! Unicorn of Gumdrops screamed so loudly that the alien unicorns on Pluto could hear it. Ouchies, my ears! cried Leprechaun of Sorcery. He grabbed his ears, slashing them in the process. Ouuucchh! Mommy, mommy, kiss it and make it better! yelled Leprechaun of Sorcery even louder than Unicorn of Gumdrops had. This cry could be heard from Tatooine in a galaxy far, far away. Wow, what a big baby, said Luke Skywalker. Good one, son, said Darth Vader, giving Luke Skywalker a high five. Blood was dripping down Leprechaun of Sorcerys left ear like rain going down your car window when you are driving down the highway. He ran toward Unicorn of Gumdrops with blood splattered on the grass. With tremendous force, Unicorn of Gumdrops was scraped in the side by the Icy Fingers of Doom! Da da daaaahhh!!! Unicorn of Gumdrops was dead. He died a gruesome death. Silver blood had squirted everywhere. That sinister little green man with evil plans was terrorizing unicorns left and right!

C. P. Gasiorowski A mysterious bowl of Fruit Loops (a leprechauns worst nightmare) somehow falls out of the sky and kills the icy fingered little green sinister sorcerer leprechaun. Im melting, Im melting! were the panicking, hideous, frightened leprechauns last words. The Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows Secret Society, now stronger than ever, attacked the leprechaun of Gold Guarding (not the gold in your nose) and won. Sadly, months later, the Unicorn of Pretty Rainbows Secret Society was wiped out by mankind and was never to be seen or heard from again, until five years later when the same thing happened.