My Most Memorable Birthday

Life is not neatly divided into happy times and sad times. Often the sorrow and the joy are mixed in together and some of our most treasured and beautiful moments happen in the midst of great sorrow or loss. This being the case, I would have to say my most memorable birthday was my 45 , falling as it did that year on a Saturday, halfway between the date of my brother-in-laws sudden and shocking death and the date of his funeral. When I received the news, I quickly made arrangements to take off work and drive the 90 or so miles to my parents home, where my sister and her children were staying. My other sister who lives in Oklahoma and some of her family came out also. We all stayed the whole week. It was quite crowded in my parents mobile home, of course. My aunt asked if some of us might want to stay at her place, but we all wanted to be together. My sisters and I stayed up very late talking, crying, hugging, and praying together. And during the day times, we made a couple of trips out to the house where my sister had been living. We helped gather up things she needed, as it was difficult for her to go alone to the house where her husband had shot himself in the back yard several days earlier.
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I remember being at a shop picking out flowers with my family and it was maybe Thursday or so of that week. I told them I would, of course, not be expecting any acknowledgement of my birthday that year. But as it turned out, some friends of my sister and the owners of a Karaoke bar where she and her husband had spent a lot of time had arranged a fund raiser for her which was to take place on Saturday (my birthday) at the Karaoke bar. And as it turned out, by that time, we were all ready to take a break from the sadness to appreciate that special bond with family and friends that shines through so clearly in times of grief and difficulty. So we sang and laughed and enjoyed the night. My sister from Oklahoma had never sung Karaoke before, but had lots of experience singing in her church choir. She was eager to give Karaoke a try and was determined she would be good at it. Looking through the book, she managed to find Amazing Grace. She had a little difficulty at first and made the Karaoke people start the song over 3 times, but then she sang beautifully and the people in the bar seemed to love it and we all got tearful again. Then, just before we were ready to leave, my sister who had lost her husband got up to sing and said she had chosen a song that he had been asking her to sing for him, but she

had never gotten to it while he was alive. So she sang My Heart Will Go On in a clear beautiful voice without breaking down at all. Definitely one of those treasured moments. Then, a month or so later, my family drove to my town, brought a cake and presents, and took me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Because they are just awesome like that.

RoseDQ 10-10-09