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A Reflection of Learning Prior to Advancement to Candidacy Christina Scott San Diego State University

A Reflection of Learning Prior to Advancement to Candidacy

Introduction One of the reasons I love to teach is the experience of witnessing how the process of learning changes my students. It is not solely the content of what is learned that is impacting to the individual psyche and worldview, but rather the exposure and exploration of new concepts and perspectives. Over the last year and a half I have become the student again, and the learning that has transpired over the course of this time in the doctoral program in educational leadership (otherwise referred to as the Ed.D. program) has set me on a very transformative path, both personally and professionally. This reflection analyzes the scope of these changes at this point in my studies in relation to the Ed.D. program learning outcomes. Achievement of Ed.D. Program Learning Outcomes In reflecting on what I have learned throughout the first four semesters of the Ed.D. in educational leadership program, I feel the sum is in fact greater than its parts. The many skills and practices I have gained through this program, which are highlighted throughout the individual reflections of learning, relate to all nine of the Ed.D. program learning outcomes and are allowing me to engage in research and practice related to many areas of educational leadership. I think this is reflected for me most in that I have a new lexicon of higher education in regard to student success, retention, and persistence, as well as related theories such as Tinto's theory of student engagement, that I did not possess prior to this program. Specifically, I have found that I am a very good researcher and am skilled at applying both qualitative and quantitative research methods and analysis, demonstrating that I have achieved the Ed.D.

program learning outcome of decisions sciences. My strong independent and collaborative work skills have helped me also achieve the Ed.D. program learning outcomes of collaboration, communication, organizational advocacy, organizational strategy, professional, as well as instructional leadership. The Ed.D. program learning outcomes of resource management and financial and legal issues are outcomes that I feel I still need to have more experience with to fully achieve and hope to gain more experience in these areas through the internship process. I feel understand these outcomes on a theoretical level, but I have do not practical experience in these areas. Reflection on Professional Goals My professional goal coming into this program was to earn a terminal degree that would support me in moving into the area of faculty development, specifically for online education. As this is yet somewhat of a niche area, the Ed.D. program curriculum has not focused on direct content related to my career goals. Although the Ed.D. program courses have provided areas of insight and support for research and practice in online education, it has been somewhat difficult developing a research study to support my professional goals while not having faculty to work with who are experts in the area of online education. However, the ability to use a faculty member from the Learning Design and Technology department at SDSU as the methods committee member of my committee, and a community committee member who works in this specific area, has provided me with the links needed to apply my research focus to the area of educational leadership. I have also heavily utilized the outside artifact process and independent projects in my course work to advance my understanding and position as a leader in faculty development and

online education. I have continued to participate in faculty development opportunities at American Public University and contributed to instructional design changes for master course shells at National University, the two institutions I currently teach at. These experiences have highlighted for me that I need to gain some aspect of formal professional instructional design experience to be fully prepared for the area of educational leadership in online education. Reflection on Personal Experiences It is somewhat difficult to describe the essence of the personal changes this program has elicited in me. I feel I am a very reflective person by nature, but I have become more so throughout my doctoral studies and in areas that I might not have otherwise. I've never considered myself a competitive person, but throughout the last four semesters I have seen that I do thrive on academic challenges and hold strong ideals of performance and practice in academia. While these are good traits to have, I have definitely had to learn how to temper the expression of my views and expectations of others and also be more receptive to learning from opposing voices. My personal focus on my doctoral work is central to my very existence right now, everything in my life has revolved around it since starting the program, almost to a point of obsession. However, I think this contributed to a narrowing of my focus rather than a broadening of my views and perhaps some loss of perspective, particularly during the Fall 2013 semester as I found myself struggling with communication issues with some faculty and cohort members. My communication skills seem to be both an area of strength and weakness for me. While the trait of communication was identified as one of my "top five" strengths in my Strength Finders analysis and I am good at presenting information, I am seeing other aspects of this skill in regard to inter-personal communication that I still need to enhance my strengths in to fully

achieve the Ed.D. program learning outcome of communication. This is something that I have been working on both in my personal and professional environments Additionally, over the past few months I have experienced some significant losses in my life, including the passing of my grandmother in November, 2013 and one of my dogs, Lola, in early February, 2014. The latter of the two culminated into a challenge to my personal sense of self and ultimately has led me to a place of release, almost a relinquishment of the state of obsession and high intensity I had been operating in towards one of a peaceful focus on the process. The impact of the grieving process I have experienced over the last few months, has also been coupled with the continued grieving of the loss of my father three years ago. These losses have presented challenges I didn't anticipate over the last two semesters, but I believe have also led me to a more positive path in my personal and professional journey. I also believe with this has come an added level of empathy towards my cohort members for all of our individual challenges that we struggle with daily in the midst of pursuing our doctorate goals. Conclusion Overall at this point in my doctoral studies I feel the work demonstrated in my Reflective Learning Portfolio has kept me on target for achieving my personal and professional goals in the area of online faculty development. I do however feel that I need to experience an internship directly related to faculty development and instructional design to provide formal professional experience in these areas and to help me fully realize the Ed.D. program learning outcomes of resource management and financial and legal issues. Ultimately, the completion of my dissertation study will reflect a full realization of these goals and the Ed.D program learning outcomes.