The+Cure+ +Secrets+Everyone+Should+Know+to+Become+Immediatly+Successful+With+Women 15

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The Cure.
Secrets everyone should know to become immediately successful with women.
The Cure 2010, All Rights Reserved
by Anonymous.
The beginning.
Legal stuff
2010 The Cure: Secrets everyone should know to become immediately successful with women. All Rights Reserved. Your use of this book indicates your acceptance of the terms and conditions of this Agreement. You agree to protect this book from unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution. You further agree not to translate, decompile, or disassemble this book. A lot of hard work went into the production of this book and all parties involved deserve compensation. The information contained in this book is well worth the price. United States federal copyright law provides up to 5 years in prison and up to a $250,000 monetary fine for illegally downloading and/or sharing/pirating copyrighted files, including first time offenders. Copyright infringement is a felony. By reading this book you also understand that the information contained in it is opinion based and is to be used for entertainment use only. It is the full responsibility of the reader to investigate any scientific claims and research accordingly. By using this book you agree to abide by all local and state laws and nothing in it is to be construed as legal, medical or personal advice. In other words: Youre responsible for your own behavior. Now that thats been said, lets get into the fun stuff.
Introduction. Congratulations on your Purchase of "The Cure." You are about to begin an exciting journey in Personal-Development that is nothing like you've ever experienced. The techniques listed in this book are a collection of knowledge that have come from years of research in some of the greatest works in psychology, dating, even (strangely) science and business available. The techniques for personal development in this book have been tested, tried and proven true in studies all around the world. No matter who you are, you're going to notice significant improvements in your overall skill. These techniques can be applied if you're just starting to learn about this subject, or if you've been studying it for years. Some books suggest "It takes a lot of hard work to become successful with women," "there are no Magic Pills," some even say it takes 10 years of practice to become good with women! The truth is none of that has to be true if you focus on the right things. Any good psychologist will tell you that it takes 21-30 days to form a new habit. By applying these techniques you'll see serious improvements immediately, and by day 21 you will have formed new, productive habits. The beauty of this is that there's no end to the amount of success you'll receive from following the ideas in this guide. The difference between this book and others is that the emphasis will not be on actions and words; it will be on developing you at the core. No matter where you are, it will teach you to become an Alpha Male/Leader rather than having you act like one. Once you do some simple work on your core personality, your actions and words will fall into place, and women will be naturally attracted to you. In other words, it will make what once seemed hard flawlessly easy.
Table of Contents
Introduction ........................................................................................................................................... 6 Every man can be successful.................................................................................................................. 8 What makes this book unique ............................................................................................................... 9 This book is scientific ........................................................................................................................... 11 About the Author ................................................................................................................................. 12 What will this book do for you............................................................................................................. 15 So, what's the difference between men who are successful with women and men who arent?...... 15 Before we go any further... .................................................................................................................. 18 Think Positive! ...................................................................................................................................... 19 The Subconscious Mind. ...................................................................................................................... 20 So how are some men naturally successful with women? .................................................................. 29 Deeper into the mind. .......................................................................................................................... 31 The Magic Key to women. ................................................................................................................ 34 What are beliefs? ................................................................................................................................. 37 Repetition is key................................................................................................................................... 38 Killing doubt. ........................................................................................................................................ 39 The Importance of Focus. .................................................................................................................... 39 Four types of women. .......................................................................................................................... 41 The three types of men........................................................................................................................ 44 How to get from Nice Guy to Alpha. .................................................................................................... 46 Alpha Male Attitudes: .......................................................................................................................... 47 Myths about women. ........................................................................................................................... 56 Facts about women. ............................................................................................................................. 57 How to get women in bed as quickly as possible. ............................................................................... 58 When you can't escalate physically in one sitting... ............................................................................ 61 Threesomes. ......................................................................................................................................... 62 Girls with boyfriends. ........................................................................................................................... 63 Always maintain control of yourself. ................................................................................................... 63 If you have serious emotional trouble or negative beliefs .................................................................. 64 Don't let the outside world affect you, effect the outside world. ....................................................... 67 What is confidence?............................................................................................................................. 68 The human emotional scale. ................................................................................................................ 68 The 3 Selves.......................................................................................................................................... 72 Brainwaves ........................................................................................................................................... 75 Self-Hypnosis........................................................................................................................................ 76 The Easiest Key for Changing the Self-Image....................................................................................... 78 Time Line Therapy. ............................................................................................................................... 79 Beyond the mind .................................................................................................................................. 80 How to be awesome in bed. ................................................................................................................ 86 The Female Erogenous Zones .............................................................................................................. 86 Basic Sexual Positions .......................................................................................................................... 93 Some Stuff About Relationships. ......................................................................................................... 94 In conclusion. ....................................................................................................................................... 95
Every man can be successful. This book has been written with the sincere hope that you'll never need another book on dating again. This book will work just as well for someone whos just starting out as it will for someone whos been studying dating for years. It is meant to be read slowly and all the information taken in and internalized. You are being given some of the greatest information ever put on paper, so take it all in, take notes if you want, write down ideas that flash into your head, any aha moments, because if you dont, they may be lost forever. Dont just read this book, live it. Think about how to apply these ideas to your own life and just enjoy the information. There are some people actually believe they were born to fail. The fact is every man has the ability to be successful with women. In fact, that's what nature intended for you. This is why you had such a strong desire to pick up this book. Some people actually believe that their personality is just who they are and there's nothing they can do to change it. Dont be one of these people. Theyre going nowhere. Make the decision to stop thinking "I am how I am, and that's just how I am" and start believing the truth: "I am however I choose to be." So if you can be however you want to be, why is some of this stuff so hard to learn? Well, the simple reason is, most people who are successful cannot verbalize why they are, and the authors who can are only scratching the surface of why theyre really successful. Most books on this subject will tell you which actions they took and what words they said. Truth is: words, actions, and body language are just very small pieces of the puzzle. This book will fill in all the details, blanks and questions so youll never wonder how anyone did anything again. By using these concepts there's no reason that you can't start improving everything in your life now. It doesn't matter if
you're Brad Pitt, Mr. Pick-Up Artist himself, or if youve never had any success with women. It doesnt matter if youre bald, skinny, consider yourself to be physically unattractive, don't have 2 dimes to rub together, or have struck out with every woman you've ever liked, you can make drastic improvements. Right now, completely let go of the past and start deciding your future. Not when you finish this book, not when you finish this sentence, do it right now, and start to figure out the way you want to be with women.
What makes this book unique? I've read almost every book available on this subject, and while there's some good advice in these books, most of them focused on the author's personal experiences of what worked for him. The problem is what works for one guy, doesn't necessarily work for the next guy. If a method works for one person, it is a hypothesis. If a method works for many people, it is a theory. If a method works for everyone who applies it, it is scientific fact. This book focuses on methods that have been proven to work for everybody, and when you apply them, no matter where you are, it will be impossible for you not to see results. While I do provide personal insight, I will try to keep a scientific basis as much as possible. This book will focus on you and your core personality. Other books on the subject focus on techniques, busting a woman's chops, what you have to do, body language you have to use, whether or not you should buy her a drink, how often to blink, etc, etc, etc. Good lord. That's way too much stuff for most people to remember. Again, Im not knocking other authors on the subject, but I promise I will not
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make you memorize any patterns, stories, pick-up lines, or ways to hypnotize women. Any pick-up line, story, or pattern is completely ineffective if it's not coming from a guy who doesn't have some key things straight. The systems that promote that may or may not work, but either way it's much easier and effective to go to the core of the results. Body language, neediness, and many of the things other books promote are all symptoms of predominant mental attitudes, which when changed will transform all the symptoms. In other words, once we change the cause, we'll change the effect. We're going to cut through the layers of social conditioning and beliefs you may have about women so that you can become the absolute best version of yourself in all areas. Getting girls will just be a byproduct. This book also will not focus on manipulation of women, and as a matter of fact, this book will show you how to get women to come to you. This book will show you how to maximize your potential and by doing so you'll become a happier person and youll have beautiful women naturally drooling over you. How's that sound for a reward? As we go through the chapters we're going to piece together this so called puzzle of life. By the time you're done reading this you'll have a full understanding on why some men are successful with women, and why some men aren't, and more importantly, how to change it.
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This book is scientific. If you're unfamiliar with the difference between anecdotal and empirical evidence, anecdotal evidence is a collection of people's personal experiences, while empirical evidence is proven using the scientific method under controlled conditions. The techniques for personal development presented in this book have been empirically proven and when I discuss a technique I will reference the name of said technique if you would like to research it further. I have deliberately left out most techniques that are proven only with anecdotal evidence, because they are considered to be unreliable. I may provide personal experiences and viewpoints, but those will only serve as examples or techniques that have been proven empirically. In laymens terms: This shit works. The results you will see will be dramatic and immediate. If you want to further your research on certain topics, I will provide other reading materials for you to continue your studies. When I talk about a specific author, I highly suggest writing down the name of the author (or book) and check it out. Most of them you can get from the library and I will only reference the best of the best. If you want to research a specific technique, Encyclopedias and Wikipedia will be extremely useful. While this book focuses on women, these universal concepts can be used in any area of your life that you want to achieve success in - whether it be financial, relationships, career, or literally anything you can think of.
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About the Author. If you're thinking that since I'm writing this book, I must have been naturally successful with women, nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout High School I was just as confused as most guys about women. I would wonder "Why would she like a guy who didn't treat her very well?" and other common thoughts that teenagers have. I landed a couple of pretty girls, but it was nothing major. For a while I didnt really care that much about having tons of women attracted to me. The thought just never occurred to me. Perhaps I didnt even think it was possible. Fast forward a few years I met some guys who just made picking up women look so easy it was unbelievable. It was then and there I decided I wanted it all. I knew the information had to be out there somewhere, so I began to study. I read all the dating books out there. All the books on how to become a pick up artist, how to attract women, how to seduce women and as much as I tried I was only getting tiny results, so much so that I gave up on it for a while. In the back of my mind I knew there had to be an answer. I knew there was a reason some guys got all the girls. I looked at the guys who were getting real results vs. the guys who werent and on an instinctive level, I had an idea of what they were doing differently. I tried doing what they did but it never worked. I tried saying what they said, and it was like it didnt matter what I words I used, I still wasnt getting the results. I found materials on Body Language, tried it and it just felt awkward. I changed my voice tone, but nothing happened. I was doing everything to the T, and still not getting the results all these gurus promised. While I respect the work theyre doing, I just wasnt getting results from it.
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I decided I was taking the wrong approach on this. If I wanted to understand women, I was going to have to understand people. I started reading some real deep stuff on the inner workings of the mind. I started reading some pretty heavy psychology books, materials on human behavior, books on Cybernetics, and tons of other subjects to the point where I would typically know more than many professional psychologists or psychiatrists Ive met. I applied the techniques for Personal Development on myself that they suggested, and they were far different from the ideas I found in most dating materials. I worked them and worked them. Just kept working on my mindset. Gradually peace and order came to my mind. My attitude began to change very quickly. I kept working it, and working it until some very funny things started happening to me. Within weeks of doing these things, I was noticing dramatic improvements in my results and within about 60 days, I would go out, and women would stare at me. Women would literally get nervous just taking to me. They just loved my new attitude. This was not normal for me. When I talked to women, they would give me signals to take them home almost without me doing anything. Girls were calling me several times a day, and not just regular girls, these were women just as beautiful as you see on TV and in Magazines. None of this made any sense to me. All the things I had learned from the dating community said that learning to meet women would be hard work. That I would have to go out there and approach many women to become successful. All of them had lists of things to do and say and if you didnt follow them, you couldnt get anywhere. That wasnt true. I didnt have to do any of the things they suggested.
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People would ask me how I changed the way I did, and Id actually be able to tell them. From people who have read every seduction manual on the planet to guys who have never had any success with women. Ive seen so many people make dramatic improvements in their lives its ridiculous. The purpose of this book is to put all this information and experience into an organized format so that you, the reader, can stop wasting time on gurus, eBooks, and DVDs, and finally get all the results you've always wanted to get. These methods have been tested on thousands of people, and nearly all have seen almost immediate results. I really believe this is the last dating book you'll ever need. This is my life's work. This is the end result of years of study, practice and priceless knowledge. I hope you're as excited to learn this as I am to teach it, because your life is about to change.
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What will this book do for you? Whatever you want. I'm being serious. I've dated more fabulously beautiful women than a lot of the great seducers in history, had threesomes with supermodels, picked up women across the globe, got bored of it, found a woman to settle down with and went back to square one using these concepts. Then I taught it to others. Whether you want to pick up the types of women you see in fashion magazines, land a great girlfriend, date supermodels, or sleep with a bunch of extra women this book will work for you. If you can write it on a piece of paper, you'll see how to achieve it.
So, what's the difference between men who are successful with women and men who arent? Success is defined as: achievement of a set objective or goal. Simple enough, but why do many men lack the success they desire? If you asked any man if he wanted to be successful with women he would say of course, but how many people actually are? Its estimated that only 20% of the men get 80% of the women at some point in their life. Im sure you can think of guys like this. You might even be one already. Guys like this may not be the most physically attractive but they always seem to know exactly what to say to women. What makes men like this so different? Why arent all men successful? Why are so many men unsuccessful? Why do so many men fail? The simple answer is: because they conform.
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They learn all the wrong things from all the wrong places. They are shaped by exterior circumstances. What theyre exposed to on television. Men being taught to be a nice guy and you have to make a lot of money to attract women. Comedians that joke about how poorly their wives treat them. All these things lead them to believe the wrong things about how men should act. These types of things have lead to the sterilization of men. If youve read other books on dating, you already know this. But why do people conform to people who have the wrong attitudes? If you asked a man Why are you bringing that girl flowers? he would most likely say I dont know thats just what you do. If you asked him Why do you take women on dates? he would likely respond thats just how it works You see, these people dont know why they do what they do. They let the rest of the world shape how they behave. They do things because the rest of the world does them. You see, the people that fail to achieve success they desire are the same people who let things such as other people's opinions bring them down. These people lack direction. How can someone succeed if they have no direction? They have nowhere to go. Think of this scenario: if someone wanted to make it from Maine to Florida, but had no map, they could still make it to Florida. They have a general idea where it is and they know they would just have to start going south. Even if they made a wrong turn they could ask someone how to get where they needed to go. Now think of someone with absolutely no destination. He would likely drive around in circles hoping he got somewhere. So why do people with destinations succeed?
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Well, let me tell you a little something that Ive definitely yet to see in a book of this nature, which if you understand fully will change your life immediately. If you understand the full significance of what Im about to tell you, from this point on your life will never be the same. You will see that all the things you want in life just seem to fall into place and from now on you wont have the stress, headaches, neuroticism, and lack of confidence that you may have experienced in the past. Heres the key to success and the key to failure: We become what we think about. Read that again. We become what we think about. Not only do we become what we think about, but we literally cannot do otherwise. Every great leader and teacher all down through history disagreed on many subjects, but it was on this one idea they were in total agreement on. The mind is everything. What we think we become. The Buddha "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Jesus You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. James Allen "Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right" - Henry Ford Napoleon Hill spent the majority of his life studying hundreds upon hundreds of the worlds most successful people first hand to find the secret of their success, and after exhaustive research he presented
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his findings in his amazing best seller: "Think and Grow Rich." (Write that down and check it out.) "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve" was the key of their success. Your average Joe Six-Pack doesn't realize this, but the ones who do live fabulous lives. Study everyone who's ever been successful at anything and you'll realize they all had this belief. The real truth of the matter is that you can do whatever you want to do. All theology and science since the beginning of time have told us this, and where people got the idea otherwise, I have no clue. Again, are you going to listen to Joe Schmoe 1994 Honda Accord down the block who isn't going where he wants in life or are you going to listen to what pretty much every great leader in history from Abraham Lincoln, to Henry Ford, to Albert Einstein, to freakin Jesus has agreed upon. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! Did you think they were kidding? Start proving it to yourself right now. Before we go any further... Again, while this is one of the most effective books available on the subject, I need to bring up a few words of warning. You can memorize every word in this book from front to back, but that's not going to guarantee change. You need to understand the concepts and follow the ideas listed. None of the ideas we'll discuss are hard and this book has been designed so everything can be done from either the privacy of your own home or out in the field, but there is a huge difference between knowing and applying. If you're able to chew bubblegum and walk at the same time, you'll be able to live the life you want to live by following these exercises. Trust me, the rewards will be tremendous. The exercises in this book are designed and proven to significantly improve Self-Image, Self Esteem, and Self-Confidence, no matter where youre starting. They wont make you "act like" a guy with a shit ton of confidence. They'll
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make you be a guy with a shit ton of confidence. Once you start applying these exercises you'll have all the evidence you need around you. No matter where you are skill wise, this will increase your skill enormously. Another word of caution: apply the ideas suggested for at least 30 days before you start judging the results. Studies have shown that the people who use these ideas and exercises for at least 30 days see significant improvements in their lives, so if you're not seeing the results, you're either not doing the exercises, or you're the one exception to science. Think Positive! Remember, we always become what we think about. If you think about the results you're getting, you'll become the type of guy who gets the same results. Growth is an essential part of life. If you think about the results you want, you'll get the results you want. This is, without question the most important concept you'll ever learn. With this you can literally create your own life or you'll be doomed to others creating it for you. Think of the mind as a fertile garden. You can plop whatever seeds you want in it, and it has to yield the crops. You have a choice to plant positive thoughts in it (for example "Life is really going well for me,") or you can plant seeds that will grow into misery (such as "I'm such a dick,") but regardless of what you decide to plant in there, the crops will manifest themselves in more thoughts, feelings, actions, and finally results. You absolutely cannot, by law, get positive results from negative thinking. No way. "For every action there is a reaction." Energy always returns to its source of origination. You put negative energy in; you'll get negative energy back. You put positive energy in; you'll get positive energy back. If you think in negative terms; you will receive negative results. If you think in
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positive terms; you will receive positive results. It is absolutely impossible to get positive results from negative thinking. You probably don't like hanging around with people who are in a shit mood, so it's a good idea for you to plant seeds that when fully sprouted will make you a better person, and we always become what we think about. So think positive! If theres any lack in your life, give it no attention. When you look at the lack of anything, you'll just perpetuate more lack. The Subconscious Mind. Here's the key: over 88% of all our behaviors are subconscious. For example if you have to pick up the phone you don't have to think: "Alright my muscles are going to need X chemical, I'm going to have to move Y muscle at Z degrees," you just think "Lemme pick up the damn phone." Your subconscious takes care of the rest. You don't have to consciously think when you open a door. You don't have to consciously think when you type. It's automatic and subconscious. If you say "I'm such a loser" your subconscious takes care of the rest. If you say "I'm fabulously successful with women"... Get the picture? Your subconscious takes care of it and moves you right into action. You plant the seeds you want; the results will come back to you right on schedule. It's that simple. Get it? Got it? Good! Now the first thing you need to do, before even reading any further, is start picturing in your minds eye exactly how you want your life to be. Remember, you always have to have something mentally before you have it physically. Write it down, in the present tense as if it's always been true. For example "I'm just the type of guy who dates 12 women a month." or "I am dating the woman of my dreams" and list all her qualities. Even if you consider it to be a huge goal, write it down and you'll be
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surprised at how fast it happens by following a few simple techniques. The more detailed the better. Write something that moves you emotionally. Make sure they are "I am statements" because "I am" statements alter the Self-Image, which we'll talk about later. Do not phrase any of your suggestions negatively, for example: "I do not strike out with women" is a terrible suggestion. Your subconscious mind does not understand the word "not" and it will interpret it as "I do strike out with women" and give you those results. This is called Autosuggestion, and while there's a lack of controlled studies for this idea, it's generally accepted as a way of installing beliefs, and when you do it in a relaxed state its called Autogenic Training which has been proven empirically. Your statements need to be written in the present tense. Your statements need to be positive. (I am not statements will not work.) Your statements need to be personal. Your statements need to be specific. For example one person I helped out with this had a terrible problem with shyness. I told him to do this exercise, but he made the mistake of writing I am not shy anymore and he got no results. Good thing we caught it and switched it to I am an ultra confident, outgoing leader. He started improving within 2 weeks. Another person I helped with this had a problem getting womens numbers. I had him write down I am a master of getting womens numbers, feel the emotions of this and read it daily. He read it daily, but he forgot to emotionalize (feel the feelings of getting womens numbers) and he got no results. After he emotionalized the statement, within a month he was getting womens numbers.
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This is one of the most important exercises we're going to cover in this book so it's absolutely essential for you to really think about what you want out of all areas of your life. Write down what you want in every area you can think of, and be as detailed as possible. I assure you, that just as sure as it will get dark tonight that if you follow the concepts in this book you'll achieve exactly what you write down. At first, these ideas will seem like a fantasy, but as you play with them theyll soon turn into theory, and as you go over them some more, theyll literally turn into fact. Rewrite it. Add shit. Add all the crazy ridiculous things you want in your life. For example when I first learned this concept, some of the things I wrote down were "I love making conversation with women. I date the most beautiful women in the world. I date 4 beautiful women per week. I ooze dominance and raw masculinity, and my body language completely conveys that. I am completely confident. I have fun around women. I handle myself with raw power all the time while still having fun. I drive a 2004 BMW 745, and my business makes $16000 per month." I read it daily once before going to sleep and once as soon as I woke up (this is the best time to program your subconscious because your brainwaves are in a relaxed state called "Theta.") When I wrote this, I literally had nothing. It was insane for me to even be thinking of things like that. I put myself in a relaxed state for 30 minutes a day (you can do more,) along with reading it twice daily and within 1-2 weeks I started seeing results. Within 60 days, I was dating 4 women per week, my business was making $16000 per month and everything on my list was a tangible reality, aside from
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the car (which came a few months later.) Its very strange, but I assure you, it works. Doing this in a relaxed state is called Autogenic Training if you would like to research it on your own. The best times to read your statements are: As soon as you wake up Before you go to sleep When in a relaxed state And dont forget to emotionalize and visualize when reading your statements. Words Feelings (positive) Visualizations Statements that are not emotionalized with positive emotions as well as belief (just fake it) will have no effect on the subconscious mind. The amount of time it will take for you to see results is based on how often you do the exercises, so its important if you want new results to do them! Repetition is key. At first it may be hard to change a way of thinking if you've been practicing it for a very long time but by repeating an idea over and over again you'll create new Neuropathways in your brain and it will get progressively easier. Your thoughts when emotionalized (mixed with feelings) cause your actions and your actions cause your results. That's all there is to it. The problem is... most people let their results control their thoughts and emotions, and that's why they never experience substantial change. Change your thinking and shortly youll start having thoughts like "Hey maybe I should head out to the bar tonight and meet a few women." You'll consciously and automatically start taking more and
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more steps until one day: boom all the things you've put on your list are reality. The feeling is inexplicable when it happens. One word of warning with this is that a lot of people get caught up because they start looking for the results to show right away. A seed doesn't grow instantly, and if you start noticing a lack of results, the lack of results will be the goal your subconscious strives for. Don't let anything from your past or present control your mental state. If you want results, just keep doing your exercises, viewing your world the way you would like it to be, and it will become the way you want it to be. You repeat your new attitudes with feeling and visualizing over and over again, and it will become a fact. It's as simple as that. Again, the steps for this process are as follows: 1) Write your life exactly as you want it to be. 2) Read it daily before going to bed and after waking up while visualizing and feeling your statements. 3) For even faster results read it as often as possible, preferably in a relaxed state. 4) ??? 5) PROFIT! I got this diagram on the following page from Bob Proctor who is, in my opinion, the greatest financial guru of all time. It shows exactly how it works. His "Born Rich" Seminar on DVD is one of the greatest collections of human knowledge available to man; I highly suggest checking it out. The diagram was originally made by Dr. Thurman Fleet.
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Again, thoughts when mixed with emotion cause your actions, and your actions cause your results. Dont let your past or present results control your thoughts and emotions, or those thoughts will control your actions. The way ultra successful people operate is they choose how they think and feel (not caring what people think, regardless of what's going on around them and how many people tell them they will fail) and they can see the results come out. Look at Karl Benz, who sat and built the world's first car while everyone told him it couldn't be done. These people are the innovators of the world. This is their secret. They are completely inwardly directed. They are the leaders in society. They are proactive and make changes in the world.
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Remember: Formula for losing: Results -> Thinking -> Actions -> Results (Letting your results control your thinking, and getting the same results) Formula for winning: Thinking whatever you want -> Actions -> Results (Letting your thinking control your results, and getting far better results) Read that part over and over again. The ideas people hold in their head always manifests itself into results. Looking at a lack of results is a vicious cycle of failure. Just build a picture of success on your mind and an exact replica of that picture will pour out into your life. You'll probably meet with failure, temporary defeat, that will make you believe that it isn't going right, but persistence is key. Never give up and results must show. Some may say "I don't want to picture myself as successful when it's obvious I'm not," and I'd like you to know that it's just kind of thinking that keeps people where they are. Your current results are just an effect of your past attitudes. Read Napoleon Hill's Chapter in Think and Grow Rich (available for free on the web) on Autosuggestion. You are the boss who gives the orders, your subconscious is the crew that carries out the orders, and your body is the ship that moves in the right direction. "Any Idea that is held in the mind that is emphasized, that is either feared or revered, will begin to clothe itself immediately in the most convenient physical form available" - Andrew Carnegie One guy I was helping out with this stuff was in a real terrible spot. Not only was he not getting the success he wanted with women but he was also about to get evicted from his house.
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I knew he was stressed out about the women situation but he came to me asking for advice on his housing situation too. I sat him down, told him to make a list of what he wanted and to study that list as often as possible. I told him: if he could see himself as the type of guy who is successful at whatever he touches, I know for a fact he would act differently, and his results will be much different. He felt better immediately and within a month he got a nice raise at his job, was able to pay his landlord what he owed him, and he was able to be out there meeting women. Another woman I was helping with this really wanted to win a quite famous competition (which will remain unnamed.) I told her to go over every detail of the competition in her mind, to see herself winning the competition, how it would feel when she won. You could see the emotion on her face. She won that competition right then and there. She also won it 2 weeks later. The mind is really so incredible. Before I won my first Mr. Universe title, I walked around the tournament like I owned it. I had won it so many times in my mind, the title was already mine. Then when I moved on to the movies I used the same technique. I visualized daily being a successful actor and earning big money. Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Its sorta like a mantra. You repeat it to yourself every day. 'Music is my life, music is my life. The fame is inside of me, I'm going to make a number one record with number one hits.' And it's not yet, it's a lie. You're saying a lie over and over and over again, and then, one day the lie is true." - Lady Gaga
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"I am no longer cursed by poverty because I took possession of my own mind, and that mind has yielded me every material thing I want, and much more than I need. But this power of mind is a universal one, available to the humblest person as it is to the greatest." Andrew Carnegie I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together. - Jim Carrey A letter Bruce Lee wrote himself when he was a struggling Martial Artist and read daily: "I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest paid oriental superstar in the United States. In return I will give the most exciting performances and render the best of quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting 1970 I will achieve world fame from then onward till the end of 1980 I will have in my possession $10,000,000. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and peace. Bruce Lee
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So how are some men naturally successful with women? Well, it wouldn't be hard for people who were taught the right attitudes to have success with women, but not all of us have had that benefit. People who werent brought up with those attitudes have to develop those attitudes in order to achieve the success they want. As for the people who naturally have those attitudes; somewhere during their lives they learned the skills necessary to be comfortable around women. It may have been attitudes they picked up from their parents, and/or it may have been through experience. Now those learned experiences turn into self-talk and beliefs, for example: a man who is successful with women would think "Hey, there's a cute girl over there, why don't I talk to her and pick her up?" while someone who is who doesnt have that conditioning would say "Why even bother, I'll just fail anyway." Until people get a handle on their mindset, they will never, ever, ever, scratch the surface of what theyre capable of. Now if youre wondering if this mindset can be developed, the answer is absolutely. So, how does one develop this mindset? Aside from what weve already done: the best way is, right now, in your minds eye to picture the amount of success you want with women as if it's happening right now. Imagine it as if it's always been true. As you go through your day, keep that mindset and write down new personality traits you would like to install. Before we can do something, we must first be something Gothe If this sounds a little silly, I'll put it all together so it makes a lot more sense. Once these beliefs take root in the subconscious mind: that
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youre extremely successful and it feels good to be this successful, your brain will automatically start figuring out ways to attract women into your life. In Dr. Maxwell Maltz' groundbreaking bestseller Psycho-Cybernetics released for his non-profit Psycho-Cybernetics foundation, it was discovered that your subconscious mind is not a mind at all. It is essentially a goal seeking cybernetic mechanism that man was built with. One of its main jobs is to take whatever goal you impress upon it and move it into reality. Your subconscious mind doesn't care if the pictures, thoughts and emotions you hold in your mind are positive or negative. It merely takes what you impress upon it, and moves it into physical form. Whether you realize it or not most of our behaviors are completely subconscious. This is just how we're wired. This is how we get ahead or fail in life. When we have a success at anything this is the reason. Once you learn how to consciously control this mechanism, you open a lot of new doors for yourself. So realize that everyone talks to themselves. Whenever you talk to yourself, feel grateful for all your successes, even if imagined, and let your subconscious mind start moving you in the right direction.
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Deeper into the mind. Think of your mind as a computer. You have your conscious (thinking) mind, and you have your Subconscious (feelings, beliefs, and behaviors) mind. This is sometimes referred to as the unconscious mind or limbic system in the brain. Your conscious mind can be likened to the windows you have opened on your computer. Your subconscious can be likened to a hard drive. When you need a bit of data, you call up the bit of data you need and it causes you to do the things you do, and act the way you act.
If someone conceives themselves to be a failure type personality, no matter how hard they try, how many techniques they learn, even if "good luck" was literally dumped in their lap, the files on their internal hard drive will automatically cause that person to fail. That failure gets stored as another file (memory) and it becomes a self dooming cycle.
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For example if someone believes (whether legitimately or not) that they're not successful with women, they try talking to a woman, these attitudes manifest themselves in poor body language, a nervous tone, neediness, insecurity, and he will inevitably fail at what he's trying to do. Then that failure goes into the subconscious mind and now it's even more evidence that he'll never be successful with women. Changing files on a computer is a pretty easy thing to do, but if you don't know how to do it, it's not going to be easy. What we're going to do is learn to replace whatever files and beliefs you have now, with whatever files and beliefs you want, which in turn will create as much success as you install. We need to look at: The way your mind has been conditioned, how that conditioning is giving you the results you're getting, and (most importantly) we'll show you how to change said conditioning. Your parents may have programmed you, but you can change it.
Subjective vs. Objective realities. Before we get into more actual techniques we're going to lay a foundation because this is where many people get confused. They believe just because they observe something that it's absolutely true. There's a huge difference between facts and opinions. Most of the dating/pick-up advice you find in books is completely subjective, meaning it's the author's experience. While I do talk about a few personal experiences and techniques, the vast majority of information will be completely factual and work for everyone.
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Aside from the Laws of Physics and other Laws that are scientifically proven, reality is completely open to interpretation, and that imagined interpretation will inevitably become your reality. People always act in accordance to what they believe to be true. Your beliefs create your results, and beliefs can be changed. Therefore your results can be changed. Even if something is true for 99% of people, it can be changed for someone. What does this mean for people? If someone believes that women are hard to get, then they will be hard to get. If someone believes they are completely successful with women, then they will be completely successful with women, regardless of if its true or not. Someone starts thinking over and over and over again that they're a confident, successful guy, theyll start to know it and the second they start acting in an unconfident, unsuccessful manner their central nervous system will pick that up, feed the data in their brain and force them to act to act in ways that are congruent with their new, confident beliefs. It's really as simple as that. Since beliefs always create your reality, make a habit of not believing everything you think. From now on instead of asking "does this belief fit with my old conditioning?" ask "Will this belief bring me where I want to go?"
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The Magic Key to women. So what's the magic key that will unlock everything you desire with women? Confidence. Plain and simple. It's actually the key to almost any problem people can ever think of. "How do I achieve more success with women?" Confidence. "How do I get a promotion?" Confidence. "How can I do better in my English Class?" Confidence. I can really care less if you think that you're "just not good at ____." The only reason someones not good at something is because they lack confidence and assuredness in that area. The exercises we've discussed so far will help you build all the confidence you want. Confidence can never be faked, but it can be built.
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People talk about dominance, and confidence is essentially the same thing. Real Alpha males are typically very nice people; they're just not nice in the sense that they let people walk on them. It's the arrogant "Jerk" that has to prove everything to the world and brag to people. Practice seeing the positive in things, and become the dominant Alpha Male, who is far above the Jerk. Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel where they talk about the Alpha Male getting over 80% of the women? The same is true with humans. Get a handle on your confidence to gain dominance, and that's done by fixing your inner talk, which will get you the girls.
Your success with women will be in direct proportion to the confidence you have. Certain religions call this "Faith," which is defined as "Belief in the unseen." It's belief that something will happen, regardless of the evidence. Regardless of your religious views the emotion of Faith is an essential emotion to develop. When you know you'll succeed, you will succeed. When you're in a state of confidence your body actually vibrates at a higher rate than someone who's depressed. You have a different energy. People like to be around people who have a positive energy and this positive energy is just a physical manifestation of positive emotions. People like this just make others feel good around them.
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It's as simple as that. You don't have to analyze a woman's psyche, find out what her "type" is, find out what her "sign" is, because people don't have a clue as to what they want... so they just make shit up. A woman wants a confident Alpha Male. Thats it. They want a real, confident man to come and sweep them off their feet. Confidence in a man is as important as beauty is in a woman. When I'm talking to a woman, I know it's going to turn out the way I want it to; I'm just ironing out the details. I know Im going to get the best possible outcome. Do not confuse this with arrogance or being attached with a specific outcome, because knowing you'll succeed and needing to succeed makes a world of difference. Whenever you need something or someone you increase the chances of never having it. Whenever people need something they are trying to fill an emotional void. Don't make this mistake. Don't try to fill the void with "stuff," fill the void emotionally and all the "stuff" will come into your life automatically. Your completion should never, ever reside outside of yourself. You want your happiness to be there no matter what happens. A lot of dating books tell people "Don't be needy," "act confidently" but what good is it going to do if the reader actually lacks confidence? Neediness" is a symptom, not the actual cause of the problem. It's impossible for someone to not act needy if they really are needy. They can change their words all they want, but that neediness will still show in other ways. Someone can't pretend to be independent when they don't really feel independent. That causes extreme incongruence and manifests itself in all sorts of strange behaviors. Have you ever seen someone who is consciously controlling their body language? It's almost like those TV shows where someone is talking to someone through an earpiece and theyre repeating what
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they're saying. It's just awkward. The problem is in the Self-Image and Self-Esteem. Fix the Self-Image, fix all the symptoms. You wouldn't tell someone who has a cold that the cure would be to stop sneezing, would you? You can get rid of the sneezing by getting rid of the cold, but you can never get rid of the cold by stopping the sneezing. That's what the exercises in this book will do for you. Alter the Self-Image to whatever you want it to be. What are beliefs? A belief is an idea, premise or proposition that a person holds to be true, regardless of if it is. When you break down what beliefs are, they're just repetitive thoughts that people eventually come to believe. Again, a belief is a thought you think over and over. Read that a million times. A belief is a thought you think over and over again. The emotionalized thoughts people think over and over become familiar and comfortable. So if a belief is a thought that you think over and over again, how does one change beliefs? By simply thinking a new thought over and over. Once someone thinks that thought over and over again it becomes familiar and now they have a new belief. It doesn't matter if it's a lie, if someone wants results to show they have to install new beliefs. At first it will be a lie, then it will become more and more familiar until one day its a reality. The difference between average people is they have to see to believe, while the masters believe and then see. Even knowing this, some people say to me "look at all the evidence around me, it's obviously that Im not as great as I want to be with women" and I tell them "all the evidence around you is just physical results from your beliefs in the past, and by perpetuating that belief youre perpetuating the results" You see again, reality is completely subjective. You ask and you'll receive. You ask for the wrong stuff they'll be right at your doorstep
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with a big red ribbon. Figure out what you can do, not what you cant. What's possible and impossible are largely a collection of beliefs people hold. Napoleon Hill suggested cutting the word "impossible" from your dictionary, and I suggest the same. The people who get on in life don't believe in that silly word. They look at how they can get what they want as opposed to the reasons that they "can't." Almost nothing is impossible. If you have to "see to believe," you'll never see it. The best way to make absolutely no progress is by talking an attitude of "I'll believe it when I see it." A belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over again. You keep thinking that new, more productive thought more evidence will show up, and you'll believe it even more. You believe it even more, and keep believing it, you will see it. No way around it. So instead of looking at "facts" that other people created, start taking control of your own destiny.
Repetition is key. As humans we learn from repetition. In this book you may find some of the things I say repetitious, but that's how we learn as humans. So in conjunction with repeating what you wrote on your list, try to read this book as many times as possible. By a few days you'll probably forget most of what you learned, but if you keep reading it the ideas will quickly become fixed in your memory. When you learned how to drive a car you had to do it over and over again until you got it perfect, it's no different with this. As you keep playing with these ideas in your mind your old conditioning becomes weaker. While on the outside it may appear that not much has changed, you know inside something has changed. Keep playing and
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keep playing with the ideas, and one day boom; everythings different. Killing doubt. Remember, the easiest way to fail is to start doubting. If you talk to a friend that doesn't know the inner working of the mind, they'll bombard you with their own theories about women and it can be enough to throw you off course. I tell people whenever you have a doubt, just replace that doubt with your new mental picture and never let yourself finish off a negative statement. If you happen to think negative, just replace it with something positive until that little negative voice shuts up. Observe your negative thoughts objectively, realize you are not your negative thoughts, and disassociate yourself from them. Eckhart Tolle calls this "Watching the Thinker."
The Importance of Focus. If you're trying to get off an exit on the highway, you focus on the exit; you don't focus on the guardrail. Focusing on the guardrail will probably cause you to crash into the guardrail... and you wouldn't want that. The point I'm trying to make is to stop focusing on what you don't want to happen. As soon as you figure out what you don't want, from that figure out what you do want and focus on that. As soon as you focus on what things you don't want, your subconscious goes "oh yea?! A new goal?! Lets do this!" Focusing on something that makes you feel miserable is nothing less than destructive. As soon as you think of something you don't want, your mood lowers and you lose all ability to fix that problem. If you focus on what you want, solutions will just start flying into your head. Your
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subconscious mind doesn't care what you feed it. It just takes whatever you give it, and moves that idea into physical reality. So if you focus on negative things, it will throw you in situations where you experience more negative things. For example, have you ever noticed that people who complain about how things are going seem to get more negative circumstances? And the people keep themselves in a good mood seem to get positive things? Start paying attention full attention to how you feel. Your emotions are very sophisticated vibrational indicators and when you feel negative emotion that means you're placing your attention on the wrong thing. When you feel positive emotion, it means you're focusing your attention on the right thing. Negative Focus > Negative Feelings > Negative Results. Instead try focusing on the positive in life. For example, lets take a boss who complains about his employees. He thinks they dont do anything right, are useless and other insulting things. What good does he do anybody? None. No one likes this type of boss, and will inevitably cause the employees to resent him. That resentment turns into lack of morale and just perpetuates more poor results. On the other hand when you have an employer who focuses on the good in his employees theyll want to do more pleasing things. When they go into his office he typically gives them sincere compliments such as wow, you guys really did a great job today, keep up the good work, and the employees leave with a sense of pride. They like this feeling of pride and continue to create impressive results. Take that stance on everything.
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Four types of women. This book is going to focus mostly on mental state, but I feel it necessary to go into a few specifics I've found in my interactions. In my experience there are 4 main types of women. The Alpha Female. (Assertive) The "Alpha Female" is outgoing, confident, social, strong, or any combination of those things. Typically she is either looking for sex, or not looking for sex. Just because she's not looking for sex doesn't mean she doesn't want sex. When she is looking for sex all you have to do is approach her confidently, escalate physically, and she'll want you to take her home. When the "Alpha Female" is on the prowl for sex she'll typically be at the bar alone, because she's waiting for a man to approach her and take her home. I got really good at spotting these types of women, and it's paid off tremendously. I would just walk up to them, start talking or dancing, continuing conversation with them while escalating physically. I would kiss them, until kissing turned into making out, and finally (sometimes within 15 minutes) she would give me signals that she wanted me to take her home. They are, in my opinion, the most fun types of women. You can sleep with them, you can date them, they're fun to be around, and they're good in bed. When the "Alpha Female" is not looking for sex, that doesn't mean that it's difficult to get her in bed, it only means that she's not specifically looking for sex, so it may take a little more time before she wants to have sex with you. We'll talk about the Physical Escalation Order later, which is the most effective way I've found to escalate physically with any type of woman.
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The Tease. (Aggressive) The next type of woman is the "Tease." Somewhere during her life this woman learned that she can make men do anything she wants by teasing them a little bit. These women were the hardest for me to figure out, but doing so has opened up a bunch of new opportunities. You can tell these women because they flirt sexually with all types of men and as soon as the men flirt back she'll shut them down. The answer to these types of women is simple: don't flirt back sexually. Don't be over complimentary on their looks when interacting with them. They love compliments on their personality though. Complimenting these women on looks may make them uncomfortable which may cause her to start ignoring you. She got what she wanted, she now feels powerful. Just hold your ground and let her make all the moves. I've found girls like this, let them do all the work, and had them in bed in less than 40 minutes. The key is just to let them act like the one whos in control, since she has an aggressive type personality.
The Nice Girl. (Passive) Next on our list is the "Nice Girl / Good girl." These women are cool as heck, but sometimes they're not great in bed. It really depends. These women typically take the longest to get in bed because they've been socially conditioned to think that they should hold out for sex. Again, this doesn't mean that you can't sleep with them right away, but I find it takes at least a couple of hours of talk to get them in bed. These girls; just be nice to them, escalate physically, and boom, you'll have them.
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The Promiscuous Girl. (Aggressive, Assertive or Passive) And the last level of females is the "Promiscuous Girl." Notice I didn't call her a "slut." You never ever, want to call a woman a slut either to her face or behind her back. It's her decision to sleep with as many guys as she wants, and she has the perfect right to do so. Don't put her down like most beta-males do. Don't even think negatively toward her. I feel the need to digress for a second: along with not thinking of women as sluts, don't think of women as things such as: "hot little pieces of ass," or anything along those lines. Realize that they're beautiful wonderful creatures, and hot little pieces of ass ;D. You see it's all about context. I can call my girlfriend a hot piece of ass, but she knows I really respect her. She knows I'm half joking while complimenting her on her attractiveness. If you said that to a woman as soon as you met her, I guarantee she'll feel utterly disrespected and want nothing to do with you. Its all about context. But back to the topic of calling women "sluts." This is the biggest thing that women are afraid of being labeled, and by disrespecting anyone, you're also conveying low status. Whenever you disrespect someone else, you disrespect yourself. We'll get into that later.
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The three types of men. You may say "There are many types of men," but in general there are 3 main categories that men fall under. "Nice Guys," "Jerks" and "Alphas," And the difference between them is where they fall on the self-esteem/emotional scale, which we'll go into later.
The Nice Guy. (Passive) The "Nice Guy" is not a place you want to be. If you happen to be here, just realize it's a starting point, and from here we'll grow. "Nice Guys" are the type of guys who bring women flowers, take them on expensive dates, and get nothing more than a kiss on the cheek. Sucking up to a woman is a great way to convey low status. Because the "Nice Guy" wants others to like him, he'll often keep his thoughts and feelings repressed in order to not offend anyone. In doing this he gives up his rights and, ironically, people respect him less for this. This leads to the "Nice Guy" being taken advantage of and disrespected by people. Women will say things like "he's just like one of us girls," I can get him to do whatever I want, etc. Definitely not the type of guy you want to be. Even if you do happen to land a girlfriend and you're in this group she's likely to walk all over you. If this is you, I feel your pain. Just realize it. Fortunately there are many exercises in this book than can get anyone from Point A to Point C quite quickly.
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The Jerk. (Aggressive) The next level on the male pecking order is the "Jerk." Some of the ways you can spot the "Jerk" are by his arrogant behaviors. He interrupts people, tries to talk over them, stares at others, insults people, tries to intimidate people, brags (either subtly or blatantly,) tries to control everything, he hurts others to avoid being hurt, sometimes reaches goals (but steps on people in the process,) and generally tries to act better than others. This guy seems to do ok with women, but being a "Jerk" is not a great way to be. They're not happy people and the women who date them are usually not happy either. Women may settle for this man when there are no other options, but as soon as a man in the next group comes along she'll leave him faster than he knows it. (Side note: it's okay to be a dick if you're funny about it. There's nothing wrong with busting peoples' chops. What we want to focus on is being Alpha at the core, but if you want to bust peoples' balls that's completely fine, as long as you're not an actual hateful person.) The Alpha Male. (Assertive) This brings us to our final group, the Alpha Male." Now as soon as you heard this word you may have conjured up a picture of a big macho bully, but that's not what an "Alpha Male" is at all. This is a common misconception of the Alpha. The "Alphas" are the leaders of the pack. They're king of the hill. The "Jerks" respect him. The "Nice Guys" respect him. All the women want him. The men want to be him. They come in all different shapes and sizes, but they do have things in common. I'm sure you can think a few of these guys you
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know in your life, and this is where this book aims to take you. The confident Alpha Male speaks openly, respects others, uses a normal conversational tone, makes good eye contact, participates in/leads groups, gets to the point while speaking, values himself equal to others, never tries to hurt anyone (and even helps them,) reaches goals in a way that benefit everyone, and acts equal to others. Alpha Males are typically very nice people and inspire others. He lifts people up while the Jerk tries to push them down. While the Alpha Male is nice, he difference between "Nice Guys" and "Alpha Males" is that the "Alpha Male" is nice out of love and the "Nice Guy" is nice out of fear. This is the level of man that gets women begging to do all sorts of deviant sexual things with them. Bananas and masking tape? Don't ask. These are the men that women will do anything for. This is the level that this book plans to take you. Again, as stated before, you want to see yourself as already being this type of guy regardless of if there's evidence otherwise in your life. Don't worry about being this type of guy tomorrow or next week. Your subconscious will take care of all that for you.
How to get from Nice Guy to Alpha. Unfortunately, if you're in the "Nice guy" category, you may have to go through "Jerk" on your way to "Alpha." It may be hard (or impossible) to jump right from "Nice Guy" to "Alpha" just like that. It's just part of the process. You can't make it from Maine to Florida without going through the states between. (We'll go over this even further when we get into the human emotional scale but essentially,
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the higher you bring yourself on the human emotional scale, the higher you will be on the human pecking order.) Alpha Male Attitudes: Be Happy. We're not talking about walking around with a cheesy grin on all day, but you want to have an internal happiness. Have you ever noticed that guys who are successful with women are happier? It would be easy to trick yourself into thinking "of course they're happier, they get tons of women." And while that may appear to be the case, the real answer is that they get women because they're happy. No one wants to be around a miserable guy, no matter if he thinks the reasons for his misery are valid or not. Negative, gloomy people are simply not fun to be around. Their personalities are depressing: The look on their faces, their tone of voice, their angry expressions, their complaints and the way they try to make people feel sorry for them. These symptoms are none other than a physical manifestation of the negative emotions they're feeling on a consistent basis. The people who are happy just look on the brighter side of life. They see the good, even in the bad which makes them happy. The trick is that as soon as you become happy, everyone will treat you differently and your results will change. There's a myth you have to watch out for surrounding mankind where they think "I'll be happy when X happens" or "I'll be happy when Y happens," "I'll be happy when I get this girl," Ill be happy when I get this promotion, etc. These people never achieve happiness. They are constantly chasing it like a dog chasing its tail. You just have to own your happiness until owning it becomes a habit. If you get upset a lot life is just going to put you in more situations that will make you upset. People believe they have good reasons to
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be upset, but who cares? Do they really want to create more of it? They may say "But this is the way that it is, Im just being realistic" That's absolutely fine if they want their futures to be full of the same. Try it. I guarantee you'll get almost immediate results. Now once we turn that happiness into a habit, it will become a fixed part of your personality and you'll start to notice everything going right. The best part about this is you always have access to the emotion of happiness, regardless of what's going on around you. And once you feel happy, all the good things you've wanted start moving toward you. If you really break down human behavior you'll notice that they everyone wants the same thing: Happiness. Everyone wants everything they want because they want to feel better. You picked up this book because you wanted the happiness of getting women, and there's nothing wrong with that. Someone wants the latest phone because they think it will bring them happiness and there's also nothing wrong with that. Everyone loves nice things but don't just be happy when you get to your destination, enjoy the ride. If you don't enjoy the ride you'll never get to your destination. Again, it's an absolute law of life that you have to have something mentally before you have it physically. Have fun with people, joke around. Don't take life to seriously. No matter what others say, it's natural for you to have fun and be happy.
Expect the best. Are you wishing for good things but expecting bad things? This is one of the easiest ways to fail. You always have to expect the best outcome to get the best outcome. If you want women to be
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attracted to you, you have to assume that women are attracted to you. This is the huge difference between wanting something and being ready to receive it. One guy asked me for advice on fighting in his relationship. He told me that his girlfriend kept starting fights with him, and no matter how much he tried he couldnt get her to stop. I told him that by trying to get her to act a certain way he was actually perpetuating the problem. I had him shift his perception toward her behavior and expect the best outcome. It resulted in him changing his attitude and whenever she brought up a fight, he thought of the outcome he wanted. As a result his words changed from words of defense to words of normal conversation. He would just change the subject because of this and within a few days he left me a message saying that everything was fine between them. See, you don't always get what you want, but you always get what you expect. And through this we can change our results. When you keep thinking something over and over again, it will become belief, and you will come to expect it. Once you start to expect it, more and more evidence will show up and there will be no doubt in your mind. When there's no doubt, you get what you want. It may sound strange to some, but that's how the mind works. If you look back at experiences in your own life, positive or negative, you'll see this is exactly how it works. If you're not getting the results you want, you have to change your expectations. While changing a habitual way of thinking may be hard at first, after some practice and after you do some work with the Self-Image, this will be easy and natural for you. So if you're having a hard time expecting the best right now, just practice, practice, practice.
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Out of your league? Guys sometimes ask me "how can I get this girl that's out of my league?' I say: Why would you strike yourself out before even getting to bat? I've yet to meet a girl that was out of my league, and it's because I believe that and feel that, that I experience that. We're not talking about being cocky here, because that's not the type of guy that gets results. Were talking about a healthy confidence. Some people suggest taking the attitude "She doesn't want me? That's her loss!" and I dont feel thats productive either. The men who are truly successful think "She doesn't want me? It's both of our losses because I really liked this girl." Read both of those statements and see the feeling response you get from them. The first one just gives you a feeling of arrogance and assholism. The second one gives you a feeling or warmness and love. If you want success, you want to take this view on everything. Not just to get women, just because it feels good, and ironically that will get you the women. As far as women being out of your league, never put another person above yourself. Respect them and love them, but never put them above yourself. You're getting all the secrets of confidence, so you should have no reason to make yourself lower than anyone else. You can do anything they can do. You also have no reason to act higher than anyone else. Envy implies that you can't do what they do. After a little practice with this book, you'll definitely be able to do what they do. Don't get jealous, get confident.
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Relationship before sex? This one is your choice, but make sure the girl you're getting into a relationship with is a great girl. There's absolutely nothing wrong (in my opinion) with sleeping with as many women as you want while waiting for a great chick to come your way. Matter of fact, I encourage it. As much as society disagrees, there's nothing wrong with being a man. I typically sleep with a girl long before I'm considering a relationship or not. There's a big difference between waiting for sex because you want to, and waiting to have a relationship just to get sex. Some guys take girls on all sorts of fancy dates and buy them all sorts of stuff, but that instantly puts them into the Relationship or Friend category. The Alpha Male genuinely gets to know them instead of trying to pay for their attention. My personal advice is: Don't make the mistake of letting a girl string you along for 3 months just to get some sex. Get good at sleeping with women as soon as possible, and then if she's a great chick you can jump into a relationship with her. Don't take failure personally When some people have a bad experience, instead of taking an objective view on it, for example "I failed with this girl," they take it to heart and say "I really suck with women." Alphas don't think that way. We never get down on ourselves, and if we do, we bring ourselves right back up. We learn from our mistakes and keep at it. Also, you don't have to worry about "am I being too needy?" "Am I waiting long enough to call her?""Am I approaching her at the right angle" like other materials suggest. Confident people don't play that shit. The Alpha Male can literally say anything and have woman falling for him. We dont worry about what to say or what to do. We just do what's in our heart and get the results we want.
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Optimism. The Alpha looks on the bright side of life. The Alpha expects the best outcome. The Alpha looks for solutions instead of dwelling on problems. Don't look for whats wrong in situations, look for what's right. For example while writing this I burned my neck pretty bad. Instead of focusing on the searing pain I thought to myself "Wow, I hope that leaves a badass scar haha." I know this is a little extreme, and Im not saying you have to be like this, but it's always best to look for the good in things. Look for how you can improve situations.
Don't try to impress people. Let them impress you. This is why women are attracted to bad boys. Bay boys dont need to impress anyone. People feel a lot better about themselves when you make them feel impressive. When you try to impress people, brag about things, they know you're trying to win their approval. When you try to impress people, they'll respect you less and typically pick on you or ignore you. They have a much better time when they're the ones who feel impressive. Never try to impress others by bragging, insulting others, and never insult yourself. Just don't worry about what others think about you, but don't make the mistake of just telling people you don't care what they think. As George Carlin said People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. What you actually think and what you tell people you think are 2 separate things and so many people mess this up I cant even count them. If you want to achieve far more success in life, start paying attention
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to the little voice in you and pay a lot less attention to other peoples opinions.
Assertiveness Assertiveness is power. Assertiveness is standing up for your right to be treated fairly. The Alpha says whats on their mind and respects yet doesn't fear other people's responses. The Alpha Male expresses his opinions, feelings and needs, while respecting the opinions, feelings and needs of others. He doesnt need to insult or threaten people; he just trusts (expects) that everything will work out.
Taking responsibility for your life This is the toughest one for people to accept, but once you do you are in complete control of your life. Blame is never, ever an appropriate response, no matter how justified it seems. The results in your life are mainly a result of your previous thoughts, feelings and actions. To fix it, all you have to do is change your thoughts and emotions, which changes your actions. The problem is, when you put the blame on anyone else, you give up your ability to change anything. You see, what people say about you and how they treat you is largely a mirror reflection of how you're treating yourself. As within, so without; as above, so below. Start to treat yourself better and I promise others will. Stand up for yourself. No one can make you feel anything you dont want to feel. Confident choose their own feelings and people know that people will act in a way that's pleasing to them therefore people react that way. You can't always change people, but you can change their response to you.
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Appreciation. Alphas live in good emotions and appreciation is one of them. Appreciate what people do for you and they'll want to do more. That doesn't mean just simply saying "Thank you," it means genuinely appreciating things that people do for you. Think about it, if you got a nice card for someone and they just tossed it to the ground, would you want to do that for them again? Appreciation and love are almost the exact same emotion, and people love to feel loved. Also, appreciation should not be limited to people. Even learn to appreciate everything including your "bad" experiences because without them, you would have never learned.
Respect The Alpha Male always respects others unless they blatantly disrespect him. I hate to break it to you, but when you criticize others, it's only because you're hiding from that trait in yourself. The Alpha Male isn't afraid to give someone a genuine compliment because he sees the good in people. The Beta Males give compliments to butter people up. The Jerks criticizes others in an attempt to make themselves look better than they really are. Decide how you want to be.
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Giving Do not just focus on what you can get from women; focus on what you can give them. This is where the Jerks and Betas mess up. They try to receive and not give. The Alpha Male knows he makes women feel good and hes rewarded for this. You can't get something for nothing. Many guys want all the profits without giving. Fall in love with giving. Not necessarily material things, but the feelings you can give them. How you can make women feel worthy and accepted. Remember: you can't have something for nothing. This book is technically just a spot on your hard drive or a few dollars worth the paper, but if you get valuable ideas from it, it's well worth the price you paid for it, right? Take that stance on everything. Don't worry about what you'll receive; focus on what you can give.
Decisiveness The Alpha Male knows what he wants. When he says something theres no doubt in his mind. He is not selfish and makes decisions that will work out for everyone. His decisions are firm. He believes in his own decisions so other people believe in them as well. In any situation, the person who is most self assured is the Alpha Male.
Humor Humor will be one of the biggest factors in your interactions with women. Everyone knows that women say they want a man who can make them laugh. Develop the ability to find humor in all the stupid shit people do. Learn to laugh at yourself. Watch some comedy programs, hang out with people who are funny, do whatever you have to do to develop an awesome sense of humor.
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Think about the following 2 interactions: A woman goes out on a date and the man asks her all sorts of boring questions about her life, talks about his 401K, his job, her job, his mortgage. Do you really think she cares about that boring shit? Absolutely not. Now in the next scenario you have a man cracking jokes about himself, cracking jokes about her, making her laugh and having a good time in general. Which guy do you think shell prefer being with? The answer is obvious.
Myths about women. Now that we're getting toward the middle of this book we're going to debunk a few myths about women. I've heard all sorts of ridiculous theories about women such as: "Women only like men with money," "women only go after jerks," whatever it is, those are completely subjective views, meaning of course, they're not true. The truth of the matter is that while some women may go for jerks, it's typically because they're insecure themselves. People are usually attracted to other people who have an equal or higher level of Self-Esteem. So if you see a woman who's with a guy who doesn't treat her well, it's only because she doesn't feel she deserves to be treated well and her beliefs create her reality. That guy she's dating really is no prize either. Im sure youve heard moms say "don't worry about that bully, he only picks on people to cover up his own insecurities,"? Well, from a psychological perspective, moms are right. If a real man were to go and talk to her, she would up and leave that douche in 30 seconds flat.
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Back to the subject of "Women only like men with money," also avoid the mistake of paying for women too much. It's okay to be a gentleman, but a woman can tell when someones trying to win her affection just by buying her stuff, and they'll disrespect them for it. Guys who buy a woman too much stuff most likely have an attitude of "I bet I could never get this girl unless I paid for all her stuff," and remember beliefs create their reality. Create strong beliefs to create a strong reality. They'll respect you a lot more if you dont have to buy their attention, but if she's short 5 dollars for a burger don't be a dick. Don't be a sucker, but don't be a douche. Life is about balance.
Facts about women. What women want and what they say they want are 2 different things. Have you ever seen one of those girls on TV who say things like I just want a nice guy and then just goes back to her abusive ex-boyfriend? Well thats because shes operating with a different definition of nice. What shes looking for is an Alpha Male who commands respect and can also act kindly. Shes looking for is a real man who can treat her with respect. A man who is strong and decisive. A man who knows what he wants out of life and how to get it. People live by the pain/pleasure principle which is why you want to avoid being a jerk. Everything people do is to gain pleasure and avoid pain. Certain people may be complete douchebags, but that makes it even more important that you treat them with respect. If you allow their attitude to affect yours youre admitting that theyre a stronger person, and youre no better than them. People have problems of their own, and that manifests itself in their attitudes. Make sure that their time with you is the best part of their day. If you live this way for a month, youll never want to go back. If you already do this, you know exactly what I mean.
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How to get women in bed as quickly as possible. One of womens biggest fears thinking shes being used or thinking of herself as a slut. For this reason it's usually a bad idea to talk about your sexual intentions with women. Women have a defense mechanism where if you come of too blatantly they'll automatically put up their sexual defense and think "all this guy wants is sex" or hes trying to use me. You dont want women to feel slutty or used when sleeping with you or shell regret the experience, so dont push too hard. There's a human mating system. When interacting with women you want to keep yourself in a sexual vibe, she'll pick up that sexual energy and start to feel sexual herself. While doing this, start to take the lead and escalate physically. The most effective way I've come across is gradually start touching her because if you make too big a jump she'll probably get scared off. If no one moves forward at all, you guys wont have sex. If youre dealing with a tease you should let her do a good amount of the work. After you approach and start having conversation you want to start escalating physically. This is a general guideline that you can change if you'd like, but I find it very effective. We'll get into a womans other erogenous zones later in the book so you can develop your own style. For now: start with touching her (1) hands, once she's comfortable with that touch her (2) legs, then her (3) back, then her (4) face. After that you can (5) kiss her on the cheek, then the (6) lips.
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Get her somewhere where you can have privacy because you're about to move toward sex. (7) Make out with her, then (8) kiss her neck, (forget the breasts,) (9) touch her stomach, (10) kiss her stomach, (11) "accidently" rub her vagina with your knee or other part of your body (social norms may make her hesitant to let a man touch her vagina, you can do this when you kiss her but you don't want to make it too obvious, just enough to turn her on,) (12) rub her vagina above her clothes, and then when she's really turned on you can start (13) taking off her pants, (14) finger her (or eat her out,) then (15) have sex.
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Try to gauge her sexual arousal level by reading her body language before moving to the next level. She may become resistant if you try to move too fast. For example: if you're kissing and she seems like she's into it, move down to her neck. Kissing a woman's neck directly gets her sexual organs aroused. Once she's responding to that, move down the list further. If she gets resistant you can tell her something like "I never have sex on the first date" so she doesn't get defensive, then you can start moving down the list as she's ready. When you get good at this you can start sleeping with women in as little as 20 minutes, but every girl and every man's skill level is different so be careful. Study the paragraphs on escalation, include it in your visualizations (which we'll talk about later,) and once you go out there and try it will be almost second nature to you since you've "practiced" it so many times.
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On a similar note, confident persistence is key. I know many guys who still get women after theyve said no. The difference between the Bill Gates' of the world and your average Joe Schmoe is persistence. If she objects to something you're doing, be completely respectful and go back to kissing her. Persistence = confidence. If you didnt have confidence in your goal you would never persist.
When you can't escalate physically in one sitting... There are going to be times where you can't get her in bed as quickly as possible. For example if you meet a woman at the supermarket, you're not going to start putting the moves on her right then and there. For these situations I don't suggest trying to call her like every other guy does. More attractive women get hundreds of calls like this per month, and you don't want to just be another guy in the crowd. When Im talking to a woman and Im about to leave Ill say something like "Hey you mind if I text you?" Or "Hey mind if I add you on Facebook/MySpace/Twitter." Other books suggest getting an email, but I find they respond faster when you communicate on Social Network Sites, as people check those more often. Asking for a digital form of communication will lower her defenses a bit and separate you from all the other losers calling her. You can also text her right away with a smiley face or some shit, where if you called her right away you would look like a huge loser. If you get her on Facebook/MySpace/Twitter, you can just comment on one of her statuses then start talking to her in Private Messages and set up a time where you can hang out.
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Threesomes. This is a bit of an advanced move, but it's a good idea to include this in your visualizations (that we'll get into later) so when the opportunity presents itself you'll be ready. The best types of women to try threesomes are: best friends that don't mind kissing each other, 2 random girls that you alternate attention to, lesbian couples, or a girl you're dating that is open to it. Don't try to force them to do all sorts of stuff that they're not comfortable with. Try to get them as comfortable as possible. If you want threesomes, make sure you include that in your goals list. If you do, you'll be really surprised at how many opportunities present them self to you. The way to pull this off is the same body-part/touching order as above. Just alternate between women. Touch Girl A's face, touch Girl B's face, Kiss Girl A, Kiss Girl B, etc. The idea behind this is that you want to get them both comfortable but you don't want to give too much attention to one girl or the other one may get jealous. Gauge which one of the girls is the Alpha Female, and make moves on her first, then move to the less Alpha Female. The reasoning behind this is that the Alpha Female has a greater chance of getting jealous.
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Girls with boyfriends. This one is completely up to you. You may want to live by "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," but at the same time if she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend he's probably not satisfying her. This is a personal morality question, so it's something you'll have to decide for yourself. On another note: to protect yourself from getting your girl picked up: just be a man and also treat her well. If you do those 2 things she wont have any complaints about you, and she wont even think about sleeping with another guy or risk ruining her chances with you. Also, watch the types of women you date. If she looks like shes been on Maury a few times, probably not a good idea. Doesnt mean she will cheat, it just means she has a higher chance. And remember: the man who fears losing his girl is sure to realize that fear.
Always maintain control of yourself. Now another important thing is that you always maintain control of yourself. You want to love women, but you never, ever, ever, want to need them. Anyone who messes up this formula will find themselves in the eternal pit of distress. You want to love them, but you also want to love yourself just as much. More than that, you want to see the best in everyone. If theres someone you just cant love, ignore them and stop thinking about them. If you have feelings of resent that you're carrying around, just realize that it destroying you mentally. Fine, someone kicked your puppy when you were 8 years old. You have every right to be angry at them, but just realize that carrying around that mental baggage is only hurting you.
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You cannot fully love yourself until you love others. How you feel about others is only a reflection of how you feel about yourself. So if you have some issues with people in the past, just let it go. Other than that, just realize there's no use crying over spilt milk. Thinking about it will just perpetuate more misery and failures in your life.
If you have serious emotional trouble or negative beliefs ...you may want to consider EMDR therapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or Neurofeedback. If you're not familiar with EMDR, EMDR stands for Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. EMDR is a type of psychotherapy that was developed to resolve symptoms resulting from disturbing past experiences. It's used to treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and other painful memories/beliefs, but works for more minor things as well. In studies it's been proven to eliminate PTSD in War Veterans in fewer than sometimes 5 sessions, where traditional therapy would take years. This is very useful if you have painful memories/beliefs that are holding you back. All you do is focus on the painful memory in detail, make it as vivid as possible, try to bring all the pain to the surface, and when you apply this all the pain will be eliminated from that memory/belief. As you go through each eye movement you'll notice that the negativity gets harder and harder to feel, but keep trying. It's kind of like stirring up a pool with dirt and leaves at the bottom so they float to the top and then they're removed. It doesn't take away the memory, but when you think about it, you'll feel virtually no negativity toward it. I highly suggest doing this with not only all negative memories, but all negative ideas as well. Pretty soon you'll find it almost impossible to feel any negativity toward the subjects you use it on.
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The information in this paragraph isn't necessary for you to use it, but for anyone who is curious as to how it works I'll explain it here. When you think of something, your eyes move different ways and access different parts of the brain. For example when you're thinking of a feeling your eyes move to the bottom left. When you're remembering something visual your eyes move to the top right. What this process does is correctly links up different quadrants of the brain to where the negative feelings are eliminated. Heres a brief version: 1) Think of a bad memory or belief 2) Feel all the bad emotions of that memory or belief, and try to do that through the whole process. 3) Move your eyes up in to the top right corner. 4) Move your eyes up in to the top left corner. 5) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth horizontally between the top left corner and top right corner, about 20 times.
6) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth horizontally between the bottom left corner and bottom right corner, about 20 times.
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7) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth vertically between the bottom left corner and top left corner, about 20 times.
8) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth vertically between the bottom left corner and top left corner, about 20 times.
9) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth diagonally between the bottom left corner and top right corner, about 20 times.
10) Move your eyes rapidly back and forth diagonally between the bottom left corner and top right corner, about 20 times.
If you do this correctly, all negativity surrounding that event/belief should disappear. If it doesn't then chances are you should try again, or get it done professionally.
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Neurofeedback/Biofeedback is considered to be a little more powerful, but you can't do that at home. Also, we'll get into Hypnosis later in the book, which is extremely effective.
Don't let the outside world affect you, effect the outside world. There are 2 types of people in the world. Proactive and reactive. Most are reactive. The types of men who do not achieve the type of success they want are reactive and let others affect their opinion. If someone makes an off comment to you, don't act like it doesn't bother you, actually don't let it bother you. If there's a horrible story on the news, focus your attention elsewhere. People can tell when you're acting, so the solution to this is to actually not let anything get under your skin. If it's hard at first, just realize that it takes a little practice. Just keep doing the exercises in this book and you'll automatically become a stronger person. There's nothing more attractive to women than a strong man. Also, never blame circumstances for any of your problems. You may have had an alcoholic dad, your cat may have bit you when you were 2, and maybe these are legitimate problems, but there's no use in dwelling on them and letting them control your future results. Wipe the slate clean and start fresh today. Your life may have sucked 2 minutes ago, but just start building your new life, seeing yourself living that lifestyle, and watch the results pour out.
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What is confidence? Many people find the word Confidence hard to break down, but its actually very simple. Confidence is assuredness. Confidence is belief. Confidence is being in control without being controlling. Confidence is being dominant without being domineering. Being able to take the lead when it's appropriate, and being able to follow when it's necessary. A good, confident leader has to be a good follower. Contrary to other books on dating confidence does not mean being in control all the time. There's nothing more of a turn off to women than a guy who tries to be in control, or, even worse, a guy who has to be in control. Dont try to be a confident guy, just let it happen naturally as part of your new personality. The human emotional scale. The human emotional scale is essentially the same as levels of confidence, just broken down further. The top is confidence, the bottom is insecurity. The top is high Self-Esteem; the bottom is low Self esteem. You obviously want to get as close to the top of the order as possible, but don't be discouraged no matter where you are on the list. Just realize if you've been on one emotional level for much of your life, its only because youve practiced it and may take a little while for you to start moving up the ladder. As you start moving up the ladder you'll notice all sorts of miraculous things happening in your life. It doesn't matter in which direction you focus these emotions toward, if it's the emotion you're feeling, whether it be toward yourself or toward the weatherman, you're going to want to move that emotion up the ladder as much as possible. If you hate the guy down the street, it's the same emotional frequency as if you hate yourself, so either ignore him or change your feelings toward him.
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700-1000 LOVE, APPRECIATION, ENLIGHTENMENT, HAPPINESS, EMPOWERMENT, HUMOR 600 PEACE, PASSION 540 JOY, ENTHUSIASM, BELIEF 400 OPTIMISM, REASON 350 ACCEPTANCE, CONTENTMENT 310 WILLINGNESS 250 NEUTRALITY, BOREDOM 175 PRIDE, BLAME, FRUSTRATION, ANNOYANCE, PESSIMISM 150 ANGER, HOSTILITY, HATRED, REVENGE 75 SADNESS, GRIEF 50 APATHY, DISCOURAGEMENT 30 GUILT, UNWORTHINESS, JEALOUSY 20 FEAR, POWERLESSNESS, DEPRESSION, SHAME Study that or write it down because its important to remember. By moving up this list you can literally get good with women without even having to talk to them because once you move up the scale, they'll just enjoy being around you. Remember: wherever you find yourself in this scale, it's only because you've practiced it. If you want to move up the scale, you just have to practice being in better emotional states.
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The great thing about this is that studies have found that once you move up the scale on a particular subject, its hard to move down it. So wherever you are on the scale, just reach for a thought/feeling that's higher than the one youre at. If you try to reach too high, it will be too drastic a jump for your mind to make and you'll just get thrown back to the emotion you were reaching from. This may be a little tough at first, but no matter what, try to move up the ladder, and the more you move up the more it becomes a habit, and the easier it is for you to stay there until it's your dominant emotion. Its important to remember that you usually can't immediately move up 6 rungs on the ladder. If someones at Fear (the dominant emotion in the Nice Guy,) they cant make their way up to Happiness (the dominant emotion in the Alpha Male) without going through Anger (the dominant emotion in the Jerk.) Its part of the process. People will do all sorts of things to keep others from expressing your Anger, but as long as you don't break any laws or put anyone in harms way, go for it. People would rather others feel uncomfortable than have them feel uncomfortable. Expressing Anger feels much better than repressing Anger and nature is always calling you to the best emotion. Thats why you feel the need to express your anger. The emotion you're ultimately trying to reach is love. Not needy love that you see in corny romantic flicks, where a mans completion resides somewhere outside himself, we're talking about a pure love where you just feel a warmness toward life and other people. Don't worry if you can't be in the state of love all the time, but it's best to be on the upper levels as much as possible. When you start to think thoughts that feel better, you become addicted to those thoughts. When you love the thoughts, it becomes hard to think thoughts that feel worse. And when you love a thought, you'll love the results you get.
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Use this scale on particular subjects, as the way that you feel about certain subject indicates how well you're doing with it. When you think about women, do you get upset, or do you feel appreciative and happy? Your emotions don't lie. When a man is misogynistic and bitter toward women, you know that hes low on the scale and is not successful with women. Until he comes to terms with those feelings he will remain unsuccessful. The root of the problem is at those negative emotions, and the only way to fix it is start replacing those misogynistic feelings with more positive ones. Don't worry about changing circumstances and everything around you, just feel better about the subject and let everything fall into place. As you move up the scale watch how differently people treat you. You'll notice as you start putting out higher level emotions people will respect you more, go out of their way to do kind things for you, etc. Notice how your results were when you were thinking and feeling X, and notice what your results are now that you're thinking and feeling Y.
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The 3 Selves We're going to talk about the 3 Selves that work in harmony with one another. Self-Image (thoughts/mind,) Self-Esteem (feelings/subconscious,) and Self-Confidence (actions/body,) and ways to improve all of them. The Self-Image. A person's Self-Image is the mental picture someone holds of themselves. In 1960 Dr. Maxwell Maltz released arguably the most important psychological discovery of all time. At the very core of your personality is The Self-Image. The Self-Image dictates the boundaries of accomplishment in our life. It dictates what we can and cannot do. You may have heard this analogy before, but think of the Self-Image as a thermostat. When you set a thermostat to 77 degrees, as soon as the room gets cooler than what its set at, a mechanism picks up the deviation, sends a message to the heating/cooling system and the temperature is brought back on course. Humans are wired the same way. All of your actions, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and finally results are 100% consistent with your Self-Image. Have you ever met someone who tries and tries and as hard as they try they keep going back to their old patterns? This is because of the Self-Image. When you change the Self-Image, new patterns of behavior effortlessly become second nature. When you change the self-image, you change the personality, behavior, and finally results. By learning to change the Self-Image you gain serious levels of confidence and skill. You will always act like the type of person you conceive yourself to be. More important than this, you literally cannot act otherwise. You will never, ever out-perform your Self-Image. This is why people can learn all the dating techniques in the book, and still see very small measurable results. Even when they do see results it's because the Self-Image has unconsciously been changed. Its much faster to go to the source.
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Where does our Self-Image come from? A lot of places. It can come from the environment you were raised in. Your past positive or negative experiences. You may have been raised in a family where sleeping with women before marriage was considered wrong and your parents passed that belief along to you, now you have a tough time talking with women. Whatever the case may be it's essential for you to change your Self-Image if you want to get real results. How do we change the Self-Image? Through successes. When you go out, talk to a woman, and get her phone number, the Self-Image is altered. A new belief is installed, for example: "wow, I'm really good at getting womens' numbers." But here's another trick. Your central nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined experience. In the next section well learn how to use visualization as a very powerful method of changing the Self-Image.
Self-Esteem.
Now that we've covered the Self-Image, we're going to get into Self-Esteem, which are feelings. These feelings will largely be based upon The Self-Image, so when your start working on your Self-Image through visualization, your feelings will improve. You should also work on improving your emotions during the day. Your feelings indicate if you are choosing a positive or negative thought. The higher up the thought is on the emotional scale the better. Your mind may lie, but your emotions will never lie.
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This is your bodys way of telling you if you're thinking a thought that will cause you success or will cause you failure. If you chat up a woman in the state of Fear, that Fear will ultimately manifest itself in nervousness, self consciousness, awkwardness, and all sorts of strange behavior. If you move up the scale to something better like Joy or Belief, you're going to get much better results. These feelings are always available to you; it's just a matter of practicing them.
Self-Confidence.
Self-Confidence is the actions you take based on Self-Image and Self-Esteem. The actions that someone takes who are higher up the emotional scale will be far different than the actions someone takes who are low on the scale. Many people try to change their actions and words without first changing the emotional state theyre in, and wonder why they keep getting the same results. You change the core, and the results will take care of them self. That does not mean you do not have to act! What it means is that your actions will be largely automatic and fun.
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Brainwaves Before we get into the techniques of altering Self-Image, Self Esteem and Self Confidence, were going to go into a little background information. Throughout the day your brainwaves are in different states:
Beta 15-30 Hz - Awake, Normal, Alert Consciousness
Alpha 9-14 Hz - Relaxed, Calm, Meditation, Creative Visualization
Theta 4-8 Hz - Deep Relaxation, Meditation, and Hypnosis
Delta 1-3 Hz - Deep, Dreamless Sleep.
The best state to be in to reprogram your subconscious mind is the state of Theta. You are in a Theta state before going to bed and upon awakening, which is why this book suggested reading/visualizing your statements at those times. You are also in a Theta state during Hypnosis, Meditation and Deep Relaxation, so use these states to your advantage.
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Self-Hypnosis Aka Autogenic Training. No, this doesnt mean dangling a watch in front of someone's eyes and making them act outrageous. That's not what real hypnosis it. Hypnosis is a very powerful tool for installing beliefs, especially when combined with visualizations. For example, a shy person who is under hypnosis can be convinced that he is a great public speaker, instantaneously, and through repetition of these suggestions can actually become a great public speaker. For 30 minutes a day, put yourself in a relaxed state and picture yourself exactly how you want to be, as if you have always been that person. You can also get Relaxation CDs, which many people find great for putting them in a relaxed state. My favorite being the Theta Meditation System from Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, but no matter what if you get a relaxation CD, make sure it's Theta. We'll go over the reasons why later.
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1. Go to a quiet room and sit or lay in a comfortable chair or couch, where you won't be disturbed for at least a half hour 2. Close your eyes and work to rid your mind of any negative feelings such as fear, stress, or anxiety. When you begin, you might find it difficult not to think. You may find that thoughts keep intruding. If this happens to you, don't try to force the thoughts away. Observe them objectively, realize that you are not your thoughts, and then let them fall away. 3. Notice whatever tension is in your body. Beginning with your feet, imagine the tension slowly falling away and they start relaxing. Imagine each part of your body relaxing more and more. 4. Take deep, slow breaths. When you exhale, feel all the negativity and tension leaving your body. As you inhale, feel the relaxation penetrating your body. 5. By now you should be extremely relaxed. Imagine you are at the top of a flight of 10 stairs. Go down each stair feeling more relaxed as you do. As you go down repeat the word "down." After each step you are going further and further down into the deep treasuries of your subconscious mind where you can start programming new ideas. Each step should make you more and more relaxed. 6. When you're at the bottom, you can decide to start going down 10 more steps, or just start installing your new beliefs and especially visualizations.
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Visualization: The Easiest Key for Changing the Self-Image. Studies have shown that synthetic experience is exactly as effective as real experience. So if you're having a problem with women, (for example you're nervous kissing them) the easiest way to solve this is through synthetic experience. Almost all modern sports legends from Phil Jackson, to Tiger Woods, to Wayne Gretzky, and countless others use these techniques. Check out Golfing with Your Eyes Closed: Mastering Visualization Techniques for Exceptional Golf Lets face it. Real life experience can be a pain. If you fail, a new belief is formed because of that and you get stuck in the same spot. This is a way to gain experience without gaining experience. Again, synthetic experience is just as effective as real experience, and case studies have shown that visualization is an effective way of installing new behaviors. Before you go to sleep daily, as part of your visualizations, relax and vividly imagine practicing the thing you would like to fix. For example if you're having trouble approaching women, vividly imaging all the little details of you succeeding at all the things you're trying to change. Youll likely find yourself surprised when you start acting this way in real life with no conscious effort. As a result of imagining the way you'd like to be with women, you will start forming memories, and that's the way you'll act in as little as 21 days. Granted, it may take a little longer to erase a lifetime of behaviors and replace them with a perfect life in 21 days, but most people see dramatic improvements within that timeframe. The key is not to measure how much its working on a day-to-day basis. You don't have to try to consciously act that way tomorrow or next week, or even believe it works, your brain will take care of all that. Just realize this method has been used on thousands of people, and the results speak for themselves.
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Visualization is a very important concept in this book because positive thinking alone may be rejected by the subconscious mind if it doesn't have any "evidence" or its not congruent with the Self-Image When you vividly imagine an experience, your nervous system and mind has all the evidence that it needs. An absolutely essential book to pick up on this subject is "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Write that down, take it out from the library or buy it, and read it after you're done reading this. It's hard to find any modern effective Self-Help book that hasn't been directly influenced by Dr. Maltz' groundbreaking work, including this one, so don't forget to pick it up.
Time Line Therapy. Time Line Therapy is a very powerful process for erasing and replacing bad memories. Essentially the beginning steps to this process are the same as Autogenic Training (Hypnosis) and Visualization. You put yourself in a relaxed state like suggested above, but instead of visualizing how you want things to be, you go back in time and find bad experiences from the past and replace them with positive ones. Remember an experience that bothers you and replace it with how you would have wanted it to be. Its essential that you visualize very clearly and vividly, and repeat the visualizations daily so theyre ingrained in your memory and the old ones seem like fiction.
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Beyond the mind Now that you have some tools to work on your mindset, we'll go over some ways to improve the way you look, dress and take care of yourself.
Grooming 101. First we're going to go over some basic stuff. You obviously want to shower and brush your teeth daily. I shouldn't even have to mention this. Get some good smelling deodorant, some good smelling shower soap, and some shampoo that you like. It really makes a difference. Women always notice guys who pay attention to the details. How to dress better than you thought possible. First, figure out what kinds of girls you're going for. If you're trying to get punk rock chicks, the easiest way is to dress like a punk rock guy. If you're trying to get fashion chicks that wear Gucci and Prada, the best way is to wear Armani and Fendi. That's not to say if you dress like a punk rocker you can't get a Gucci chick, it's just a lot easier. I wouldn't suggest changing your entire style just to get a different type of girl, but it's very important to figure out what your style is. Pick up a few fashion magazines or pick up magazines that feature the style you want to adopt. If you want a Hip-Hop style, pick up a Hip-Hop magazine that features models dressing the way you'd like to dress. Models are going to show you how to dress in a top-of-the-line way. Find what you like from them, and even if it's expensive clothing you can always get good deals on brand new clothes on eBay. You'd be surprised at how many Armani T's I picked up for under $20 there.
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The Pareto Principle (The 80/20 rule.) In the early 1900's Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto noticed that 80% of his peas were produced by 20% of the peapods. When he looked at society he realized that 80% of the land was owned by 20% of the population. In most businesses, around 80% of the profits come from 20% of the products. They use this principle to cut out the bottom 80% of products and amplify (and learn from) the top 20%. We can use this principle on the way we dress and interact with women. To figure out what the top 20% that is working, look at the celebrities you admire. If you admire a celebrity that wears vintage T-Shirts, try to find a nice vintage T-Shirt shop on the web. Also look at guys that are getting the success you want. The idea isn't to copy them, but to figure out what works and what doesn't work and develop your own style from there. Take what works and amplify it. In your own wardrobe, if you have a T-shirt that is giving you the responses you like, figure out what about is so attractive and get more t-shirts like it. If a photo you post on Facebook gets a lot of comments, figure out what's so appealing about it and copy whats appealing. Delete the ones that aren't getting responses. Pretty soon you'll have a much better idea of what's attractive and what's not. In business this is called split testing. A company puts up a few web pages and notices which get the best responses and disposes of the other ones. They figure out what is so appealing about it, make a new layout based on that and see how they can improve it. You want to take this approach on how you dress and even how you act. If you find that a particular sense of humor is working on a certain type of girl, amplify that. If a certain necklace is getting you attention, get more like it. Cut out what isn't giving you the responses you want.
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The Basics of Color. Color is one way of expressing yourself in fashion. Different colors are appropriate for different vibes. Black represents power, Blue is good for summer, Green represents vitality and nature, White represents friendliness, Red represents love. Different combinations of colors are good ways to match up your personality with your looks.
Matching. Here's the basic idea behind matching. As a generalization, you only want 2 or 3 colors in your outfit. For example Blue jeans, Black T, with white writing. If you wanted to wear a hat with that outfit, the best bet would be a white hat to match the white writing. You can use Contrasting colors (for example Black on White,) Harmonious colors (for example White on Off-White,) or the safe bet: Neutral colors (for example any combinations of White, Black, Grey, and Browns) It's really about personal preference, so just pay attention to some fashion pictures, learn from them, and look at your outfit to judge if it looks good to you.
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Cologne. Picking out a good scent is important. Go to the counter at any upscale department store that carries colognes and ask to try a few scents. You can ask the man/woman behind the counter what's popular, or if you want to be unique just keep testing them until you find one that you like. It's up to you if you buy it there, but you can usually get better deals on eBay or other places on the web.
Shaving. You don't want to get all hot and heavy with a girl then when it comes to take off your clothes you look like a grizzly bear. It's up to you, but I highly suggest shaving off any unnecessary hair. This includes chest, back, and pubic region. Be careful around the pubic region because if you nick anything it's going to hurt like crazy. I would suggest picking up one of those $15 hair trimmers and using that instead of going at it with a Bic razor. Trust me, razor burn in the Johnson area is no fun. Working out. I highly suggest getting a few basic guides on this, or at least get a few tips from people at the gym. It's not nearly as bad as you think. Just like everything in life, starting is the hardest part. Once you get into it you'll probably find that you like the good feeling chemicals (endorphins) it produces. Besides that, the gym is also a great place to meet chicks. Learn how to use the various equipment at the gym and you can even find some useful guides on the web.
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Keeping your place clean. The last thing you want to do is take a girl home to a dirty apartment, so clean that shit up. Do you want to talk to a girl all night then when you bring her home it looks like 11 tornados of horse shit flew through the place? Women value cleanliness much more than men and they'll notice a guy who takes care of his living space. Remember your outside world is a reflection of your inside world, so if your place is cluttered, chances are your mind is cluttered.
Where to meet women Most people look for women in all the worst places. Bars, clubs and parties are the clich spots to meet women, and there are many disadvantages to this. First off, the music will likely be too loud for you to even hear yourself think, let alone maintain a conversation and you'll have to compete with 100 other guys trying to get their attention. Women also know that most men who talk to them at the bar are only trying to get in their pants. This is fine, but many women become jaded from all the approaches. You can still pull it off, but in my opinion it's making things harder on yourself. The best places to meet women are in your daily routines. We mentioned the gym earlier, and this is a great place to strike up a conversation with women. You can talk about working out; ask for tips and all sorts of things. Talk to women in the supermarket, at the bank, the book store, the movie rental store, different classes (such as meditation, which I highly suggest taking classes on anyway.) These are all great places to strike up random conversations. You can ask for advice on movies, what food is good, whatever. Once you start talking to her just make her laugh a little and get her number.
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The Internet is iffy. Just make sure you get a bunch of pictures before you meet the girl. A lot of girls pick pictures that make them look a lot more attractive than they are in real life (and sometimes even fake pictures,) so make sure you're getting the real deal. Ask for her email address and search for that address on Facebook or MySpace to get a better idea if she's legit or not. There are tons of free dating sites such as PlentyOfFish, OKCupid, Craigslist, Yahoo Personals, AIM chat rooms, Date Hookup, WebDate, Mingle2, MatchDoctor, Woome, and Connecting Singles. Make sure you avoid Adult-Oriented dating sites. Most of the women on there are A) Hookers B) Porno Scams C) Girls with STDs or D) Men. The paid ones are the best place to meet women who are serious about dating. By far my favorite paid dating site is eHarmony. There are tons of attractive women on eHarmony just looking for a man to sweep them off their feet. Other than eHarmony there's also Match.com, Lavalife, HotOrNot, and Parship. With these you should be able to find as many women as you like without even having to leave home.
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How to be awesome in bed. Now, the moment you've all been waiting for... how to get her screaming with pleasure.
The Female Erogenous Zones An Erogenous Zone is an area of the human body that when stimulated will cause sexual arousal. I'm going to put these in order of comfort, so the top of the list will be things that you should start with and move your way down. Psychologically these steps are designed to lower inhibitions and increase the emotional comfort of the both people. When you first start it's best to "accidently" touch these areas (all of this is assuming she doesn't try to rape you; there are many women that will take the lead and even some women that will just jump your bones) and then you can intentionally touch them. Depending on your skill level and the girl, you can move through these zones very quickly. The non-sexual zones (hands - light kissing) will likely take the most time. You can do these pretty much anywhere, but when you get to the more sexual things (making out-intercourse,) you're going to want to have privacy. Don't worry about following this to a T, but again you don't want to make too large a jump. Let her get comfortable with each touch. If she objects to anything, stop what you're doing and move back a few steps. Side note: If she jumps down the list before you do, you have full permission to repeat the same touch. This means that she's comfortable touching you and you can touch the same spot. For example, if she touches your leg, you can start touching her leg.
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Hands and Fingers The hands are the best place to start because most females (assuming you have some sort of rapport with them) will be open to this. The fingertips especially have many nerves and are sensitive to light touch. At first you can "accidently" touch her hands while making a comment or you can reach for her hand and ask her to follow you. After she's comfortable with this, then you can purposely touch her hands, for example: holding hands. Arms The skin of the arms (especially: the inner arms and the inside bend opposite the elbow) contain many nerve endings and are very sensitive. The same way you touched the hands "accidently" you can do with the areas on the arm. Brush up against her arms while making a comment a few times, then you can touch her on purpose. In some cases just touching her arms in this way will cause sexual arousal. Legs While this isn't technically considered an Erogenous Zone, it's still important in building comfort with your touches. Follow the same steps as the above body parts for "accidently" touching, then purposely touching. A good way to "accidently" touch her leg is when you crack a joke, just touch her on the knee with the back of your hand. (Side Note: At this point tickling is appropriate, which many women find arousing.)
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Face and Hair. The main problem men face when getting ready to kiss a girl is knowing if shes ready or not. Touching the face and hair in an important step in getting them comfortable for a kiss. For the "accidental" touch you can point out that they have something on their face (whether they do or not) and wipe it off. When you purposely touch their face or hair, do it in a romantic way. You can even look into their eyes and say something sweet. You want to feel warm and loving when you do this. You can even whisper something sweet in her ear (which is another Erogenous Zone.) Trust me; if a girl is letting a guy do all these so far, she's ready for a kiss. Mouth (Light Kissing) If you want, you can touch her mouth before you kiss her. Don't go for a full on make-out session the first time you kiss her or you'll look like a complete retard. Go in for the kiss, do it romantically and don't use any tongue yet. Kissing (with the use of tongue.) Now at this point it starts turning sexual. The following steps will cause actual sexual arousal. If you get her turned on enough (regardless of if you're in the location where you plan to have sex,) she'll probably want to go somewhere where you can have sex. If you need to, you can think of some reason you want to show her something up in your place. Perhaps watch a movie. Some women will be comfortable with making out in public, but a lot won't. If you want to play it on the safe side bring her somewhere you can be alone for a little while, even if it's just out to the car. You can say something like "I'm not sure if I'm comfortable doing this in public, did you want to go to X?"
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While you're kissing her, touch the back of her neck. You'll see why in the next Erogenous Zone. Neck The neck is a very sensitive area for both men and women. Kissing and caressing this area is very arousing to most people. Also the back of the neck is very arousing when you touch it. Most women I've talked to say that getting their neck kissed is one of the biggest turn ons. Definitely use this to your advantage. Stay kissing the neck area for as long as possible because it's A) not overtly sexual and B) a huge turn on for them. The more you do it, the more aroused they'll get, which makes the next steps much easier. Some women even like being bitten gently on the neck. If it's the first time you're with this girl you may or may not want to hold off on this. Ears You can completely skip this area if you want, but if you want to make things interesting go for it. Licking her earlobes, whispering or breathing softly in her ear may also be very pleasurable for her. Chest This one you have to watch for. Some women are uncomfortable with their breasts and may respond negatively to this. It's not a necessary step, and it may be better to just skip it completely. Stomach/Abdomen Many women find touching, kissing, biting, licking, caressing of the abdomen to be very arousing, especially around her pubic region. Some women even find it more arousing than direct stimulation of the genitals. Kiss her stomach, kiss the tops of her hips and stay there long enough to get her juices flowing.
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Pubic Area/Vagina This part is very important. Be careful down here because all women know that if a guy is touching their vagina they're most likely going to have sex. A lot of times you will meet with resistance here. Here are few tricks to overcome this: Before you even think of removing her panties "accidently" touch her vagina. You can go back up to kissing her, position your torso between her legs and "accidently" start rubbing. After that, you can start dry humping. The idea here is to get her extremely sexually aroused without throwing up any red flags. If she says anything about this just respond "don't worry, I don't even have sex with a girl until I've known her for a while," and keep turning her on. Get her good and wet and keep dry humping her. If you want you can flip her on her stomach and rub her ass. Once you're rubbing her ass you can sneak in the back and play with her vagina through her panties. Sneaky? Yea. But women are naturally conditioned to hold off on sex, so we have to get around this. Again, if she objects to something, just step back and hold off a second. Go kiss her neck again and turn her on. A lot of times when women resist, it's simply because they're not turned on enough. Sometimes when you just get them turned on enough they'll make the moves. When you're rubbing her vagina from behind, don't insert your fingers just yet. Just rub the outside of her panties, right above her vaginal opening. After that, move up to the clitoris. If you're not sure where the clitoris is, it's that little hooded button that's right above her vaginal opening. Rub that very lightly. This is very sensitive for women. After that, move her panties to the side and start fingering her.
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She's probably at the point where she just wants to have sex now, but don't yet. Ask her if she can flip over because it's uncomfortable fingering her like that. Start fingering her and after a few minutes of that remove her panties. At this point you can eat her pussy (if you want,) or keep fingering her (or both.) Do it for a little longer and she'll definitely want to have sex. USE A CONDOM FOR GOD'S SAKE. Oh yea, did I also mention to make sure she's the legal age of consent? You definitely want to do that.
Bonus spot: The Clitoris. The clitoris is another erogenous zone on a woman which has the most nerve endings anywhere in her body. It is said to have as many nerve endings in the small little tip as a man has in his entire penis. To find the clitoris, picture a woman's vagina. You have the vaginal lips on the left and right side and between that is the opening. Right above the opening is a little button shaped hood. Once you lift up the hood a woman's clitoris is right underneath it. You can lick or finger this spot, but be very gentle, because too much pressure on it can be painful for women.
Bonus spot: The G-Spot. The G-Spot (aka the Grfenberg Spot) is a wonderful and marvelous place for women. The G-Spot is typically located one to three inches up the front (closest to her stomach) vaginal wall. Place your finger or fingers in there and you'll feel a small lump that almost has the texture of a golf ball. Rub that with your fingers, or now that you know where it is, use sexual positions that stimulate that.
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Bonus move: Venus Butterfly. To do this one place both hands together and go toward her vaginal opening. Your Index fingers will be on both sides surrounding the clitoris. Your middle and ring finger go into her vagina. Both pinkies will either slide in the anus or just move them out of the way, depending on what she's into. Gently open and close your hands by separating your palms. This will force your middle and ring fingers to go in and out of her vagina (and/or anus) which looks like a fluttering butterfly. It will take a few times to get perfect, but she will thank you greatly.
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Basic Sexual Positions There are literally thousands of sexual positions, but well go over the most common ones. Missionary Position This is the most basic sexual position. In this position, the man and woman face each other. The woman lies on her back with her legs apart, while the man squeezes between her legs. A nice variant is to put her legs over your shoulders or put a pillow under her backside to penetrate deeper. And try putting a pillow under her backside for even deeper penetration. Doggy Style This can be one of two ways, or even more if you get creative. The first way is to have her get on all fours and you penetrate from the back. You can lightly pull her hair while you do this. Another way to do this is to have her lay on her stomach and penetrate that way. Spooning In the spoons position both the man and women lie on their sides facing the same way. The woman lies on her side while the man penetrates her from the back. Alternatively, the man can sit or stand while in this position. Woman on top There are different variants of this position depending on the way she is facing. This is called the cowgirl position when she is facing you or the reverse cowgirl position when she is facing away.
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Some Stuff About Relationships. So, you found yourself a keeper? Congratulations, because a good relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. Like I said earlier this book will work for whatever you want it to work for, so it wouldnt be complete without a little relationship stuff. Since youre on your way to becoming a calm, centered Alpha Male, you wont have to worry about all the petty things couples fight about. You see, most of that stuff happens because people are low on the emotional totem pole. Arguing is a low-status thing. Instead compromise. Youre getting higher on the emotional scale and hopefully the woman you find will be just as high. When you have 2 people high on the scale that love each other, but dont need each other, everything tends to turn out well. They both know that each other has separate lives and they respect each other. And remember the section on giving. The Alpha Male and Alpha Female love to give and their rewarded greatly for this. Be someone she can depend on. Be someone she can love. Be the man who makes her feel protected. Be the strong man in her life. Get her nice little gifts just to let her know youre thinking about her. They dont have to be expensive. My only word of warning is to watch the L word during the beginning of relationships. Its fine to give her compliments and tell her shes beautiful, but if you tell her you love her too early you may scare her off. Hold off until youre pretty sure shes ready.
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In conclusion. Be happy. Feel good. See the good in life. Even if its not apparent to you right now by working with these ideas youll be sure to see how wonderful the world really is. Dont worry about all the stuff that guys normally worry about with women. Just have fun with them and the relationships and sex will take care of themselves. Read this book a bunch of times until your mind is literally saturated with the information. Realize that you create your own destiny and dont listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. LIFE IS MEANT TO BE FUN! I know you can succeed, so lets do this! Your friend, Anonymous. P.S. - Please email me and let me know how you liked the book whether you loved it or hated it. My email is: anonymous@datingcurebook.com
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Check out our site if you havent already: datingcurebook.com Add us on Twitter: twitter.com/datingcurebook

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Secrets everyone should know to become immediately successful with women.

The Cure 2010, All Rights Reserved

The Cure 2010, All Rights Reserved

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Beta 15-30 Hz - Awake, Normal, Alert Consciousness

Alpha 9-14 Hz - Relaxed, Calm, Meditation, Creative Visualization

Theta 4-8 Hz - Deep Relaxation, Meditation, and Hypnosis

Delta 1-3 Hz - Deep, Dreamless Sleep.

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