Men's Pearls of Wisdom 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.

I don't remember, what I chose. . !o"r birth certificate is an a#ology letter from the condom factory. $. A wife is a se% ob&ect. 'very time yo" ask for se%, she ob&ects. (. Im#otence) *at"re's way of saying '*o hard feelings...' +. ,here are only two fo"r letter words that are offensive to men -'don't' and 'sto#', "nless they are "sed together. -. Panties) *ot the best thing on earth, b"t ne%t to the best thing on earth. .. ,here are three stages of se% in a man's life) ,ri Weekly, ,ry Weekly, and ,ry Weakly. /. 0irginity can be c"red. 1. 0irginity is not dignity, its lack of o##ort"nity. 12. 3aving se% is like #laying bridge. If yo" don't have a good #artner, yo"'d better have a good hand. 11. I tried #hone se% once, b"t the holes in the dialler were too small. 1 . Marriage is the only war where yo" get to slee# with the enemy. 1$. 4) What's an A"stralian kiss5 A) ,he same thing as a 6rench kiss, only down "nder. 1(. A co"#le &"st married were ha##y with the whole thing. 3e was ha##y with the 3ole and she was ha##y with the ,hing...... 1+. 4) What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life5 A) 7ife s"cks, &ob s"cks, and the wife doesn't. 1-. 4) Why do men find it diffic"lt to make eye contact5 A) 8reasts don't have eyes. 1.. 9es#ite the old saying, '9on't take yo"r tro"bles to bed', many men still slee# with their wives:: ;ne night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. ,hey start talking and come to reali<e that they're both doctors. After abo"t an ho"r, the man says to the woman, =3ey, how abo"t if we slee# ,ogether tonight5 *o strings attached. It'll &"st be one night of f"n.= ,he woman doctor agrees to it. >o they go back to her #lace and he goes in ,he bedroom. >he goes in the bathroom and starts scr"bbing "# like she's abo"t to go into the o#erating room. >he scr"bs for a good 12 min"tes. 6inally she goes in the bedroom and they have se% for an ho"r or so. Afterward, the man says to the woman, =!o"'re a s"rgeon, aren't yo"5= =!es, how did yo" know5= =I co"ld tell by the way yo" scr"bbed "# before we started.= =;h, that makes sense,= says the woman. =!o"'re an anesthesiologist, aren't yo"5= =!eah,= says the man, a bit s"r#rised. =3ow did yo" know5= =8eca"se I didn't feel a thing.=