Kevin Smith & Muse, Inspired Me to Commit Murder and Revel in it!

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010 I hit the highway with the early birds. I had a five hour drive ahead of me. My destination An evening with Kevin Smith. Centre In The Square, Kitchener 7:30pm to----( I dont know when the show ended because, Kevin Smith was still telling stories when I was forced to rescue my car from the underground parking before the garage closed for the evening) Why would I want to go so far out of my way to see a witty and often vulgar filmmaker talk, you may ask? Because even when talking about pooping and anal fissures, Kevin Smith is genuinely entertaining! The guy is an incredibly engaging storyteller. His self effacing demeanor and brutal honesty make you feel like you and he could be best buds. The realization that this down to earth guy is only three years older than me, yet has accomplished so much more made me wallow in my lack of accomplishments, my gut ballooned with self pity. Luckily, my self pity was punctured by the powerful music of Muse. Not Jason Mewes! He wasnt there at all! Muse, the English alternative rock band. The song-Uprising So Come On! Urged me to take action, the car sped forward, Power Up!!! Dont wallow Do! Do what? I went to college to be a Graphic Designer. It turns out I have the talent, but lack the ambition. Come on!

I cant act, I cant sing, I cant imagine telling stories to a crowd of people. I dont even like people looking at me! Come on! I could write a story. Thats it, I should write something. What could I write about Hmmmm, Come on! What would it be like to grow up with the ability to change into other creatures? Can you imagine trying to raise a child that could do such a thing! Where did the ability come from? What kind of things does she turn into? I pictured a little girl and she turned into a mouse. The little gray mouse cocked its head to the side, its cute little nose twitched and its odd amethyst eyes bore directly into my soul. As if a projector had been switched on inside my brain, a fascinating movie began to play in my head. Mouse became more and more real to me, and her story, her survival, became more and more consuming. On the way home from An Evening With Kevin Smith, I became entranced by Mouses struggle with her odd abilities, her back story, her allies and her lethally dangerous adversaries had my full attention. I drove two hours past the city where I live, before I snapped out of it. I was reminded of a quote from Kevin Smith Sometimes the path you are on is not as important as the direction you are heading. He is absolutely right. I had definitely driven way out of my way, but my life had taken on a whole new direction. I turned myself around, and decided that I absolutely had to write the series.

Inspired, the story flowed out of me easily. The keys tap, tap, tapped furiously as the characters leapt to life on the written page. When I turned off the computer, the characters would carry on in my head; their antics distracting, but always fascinating. I dreamt that Mouse was published, a bestseller. I became famous! Then I stopped writing. I made up excuses for why I hadnt been writing. I lied to myself. I distracted myself by designing a Mouse Logo instead. Months past September 2011 Somehow I have never found time to work on the book. The characters have made many futile attempts to reach me but their attempts have been sabotaged by an impenetrable wall of excuses. Ambition rotted in gangrenous guilt. Yesterday, depressed and disappointed I tried to force myself to write. An hour later I had accomplished one sentence. Struggling to remember how I had felt when I had first been inspired to write the story, Kevin Smith came to mind. Despite all Kevin Smith has accomplished, he seems to have a pretty poor self image. I myself am a sedentary human. My favorite hobby has always been reading. I only exercise my imagination. Over the years my weight has been steadily growing, my self-respect dwindling. Oh my God! I had stopped writing because I was afraid! I felt too fat to accomplish anything because I didnt want people to see me like this. I pictured Kevin Smith up on stage talking. He is so popular and likable; you want to be his friend. I couldnt imagine anyone was saying Damn! I could have really liked this guy but hes just too fat! Lets be serious, Kevin Smith is awesome, his weight is irrelevant!

Inspired once again, I sat down at the computer and wrote a whole chapter. My ruthless villain is introduced and commits his foul deeds with a depravity that actually shocked me. The next day, when I read the chapter I had written, I felt triumphant. I had committed murder to paper. I pumped my fist, grinned like a fool and reveled in the powerful creative juices that surged once more. Mouse will be written! To Kevin Smith I say Thank you, Sir When Mouse is finally complete, I will send you the first copy.

Sincerely, Amanda Paddon