Tyler Huefner English 2010 Steven Holland Feb.

1, 2014

Growing u with !"ulti le# "o"s

$ used to thin% $ had the erfe&t fa"ily. 'e grew u going to &hur&h, sitting down together for fa"ily dinners and laying ga"es. (y dad wor%ed while "y "other stayed ho"e with us. $ re"e"ber as a little boy we would have fa"ily dan&e arties. (y dad and $ would go on adventurous bi%e rides. (y "o" and $ would have &oo%ing &ontests. Then one day, it all &hanged. $t started s"all) "y "other sto ed reading "e stories before bed and sto ed as%ing how "y day was

after s&hool. She started using violen&e, first through words, to tea&h us never to *uestion her will. $ felt li%e $ was disa earing. $ a" the oldest of five and $ too% on the role of !father# at age ten when "y dad started to wor% day and night to earn enough to su ort us. +round the sa"e ti"e "y "other &he&%ed out of our

fa"ily entirely, loo%ing to "en outside of her "arriage for a way out. She would tell "y siblings and $ lies about our father, and we a&&e ted the", she was our "o". For this reason, $ never really established a good relationshi with "y dad. The following e-a" les are of least to greatest i" ortan&e to "e. (y father didn.t "a%e a lot of "oney. +s a result, "y "other ressured "e to get a /ob to hel ay for things. $ wor%ed 012 hours a wee% in a gro&ery store after s&hool so that $ &ould hel out. $ would give "y ay&he&%s to "y "other be&ause she said we needed gro&eries, s&hool su lies, &lothes,

et&. and when $.d get ho"e we would still have no gro&eries and we would wear hand3"e3downs year after year. However, "y "other.s hair would be in the latest fashion and she always had ni&e things. 4oo%ing ba&% now $ reali5e that "y "other was "any different eo le de ending on the environ"ent. For e-a" le, with the noise level in the house, whether or not things were &lean, how we

were doing in s&hool, even the words we used to address her. So"eti"es when $ was s ea%ing to her, she would be &al", and then, so"ething would fli a swit&h inside her and she was not the sa"e erson $ was reviously tal%ing to. 4ife at ho"e, during the day when dad was at wor%, &onsisted of na"e &alling, the bla"e ga"e and &atering to "y "other.s every wish and "any ersonalities. $t was nerve3wra&%ing, &o"ing ho"e fro" s&hool, not %nowing who $ was going to find. 6f the several "others at ho"e, there was only one that $ loved, and she was al"ost never there. The "other $ loved always as%ed "e how $ was doing, told "e stories, s&rat&hed "y ba&%, "ade "e feel i" ortant to her. $ only saw this side of her a handful of ti"es. There was one instan&e that "y "other &a"e ho"e fro" a s&outing event and saw a sin% full of dishes, &lothes strewn everywhere and toys all over the la&e. She stor"ed in the roo" we were laying in and yelled, !7ou guys are igs8 4oo% at this house8 $t is a ig stye8 $ wish $ never had you guys8# She always said things li%e that. She is the *ueen of na"e3&alling. 'hen $ was little, $ too% iano lessons. (y "other didn.t li%e "e ra&ti&ing at ho"e. She would tell "e to !%no&%3it3off# or yell that $ was being too loud. $ felt very &onfli&ted, %nowing she ut "e in iano lessons and "y iano tea&her told "e to ra&ti&e every day, but $ had to &ater to how "y "other feeling at the "o"ent. $t was li%e wal%ing on eggshells around "y "o". $t was very &onfusing. She was a "an3hater. 6ne ti"e "y "other was u set about guidan&e she had re&eived fro" a &hur&h leader and she was venting to "e about it. She said that !he was in the wrong,# and that !"en are so wrong and stu id8# She &o""only told "e how inferior "en are, and as a result, $ grew u thin%ing there was so"ething wrong with "e, that $ didn.t deserve to be ha was "y fault. 'hen "y "other de&ided to leave "y dad, it was a terrifying e- erien&e that $ will never forget. $ &a"e ho"e fro" &hur&h and heard "y "other &rying hysteri&ally in her roo". $ went to &he&% on her and she said,!$ &an.t leave your father8 $." tra ed8# $ as%ed her !'hy9# She said) !He.s %ee ing "e y, that how she treated "e

&a tive. He.s abusive.# $ laughed, %nowing "y father and having been there every day to see how they treated ea&h other. She yelled, !Tyler, SH:T :;8 $." going to leave or %ill "yself8# She then rea&hed for "y father.s handgun, and, reali5ing she was seriously &onsidering %illing herself, or even one of "y siblings, or "e, $ grabbed the gun &ase out of her hand and yelled !<68# 4ater, when she was "ore &al" or !another erson,# she sat us all down and told us that a lot of husbands abuse their wives and if she didn.t leave "y father was going to %ill her. 'e %new that was a lie. She then tried to ersuade us to believe that "y father was absolutely evil. =y then we.d figured out who was lying. To this day, $ still don.t %now who $ a" going to find when $ en&ounter "y "other. So"eti"es she &alls "e and as%s "e how s&hool is going or how $." doing. (ore often she &alls sobbing or to yell at "e about "y dad or how so"eone in the fa"ily is &alling her a bad "other. <evertheless, $ have distan&ed "yself fro" her in order to have a nor"al life free fro" anger, hate and violen&e. Though the "other $ have loved is rarely around, the "e"ories are ever resent to re"ind "e of how "u&h $ &an still love the good side of her.