DRAFT 1 REFLECTION

The most helpful Revision Exercise was the Expanding & Elaborating. In fact, I needed to focus on each paragraph in order to polish my vocabulary. Though, I thought the more it proved I was well informed, I needed to delete some unnecessary sentences. Yet, the point is what you say but you have to be careful not to go out of context. Get to the point without saying too much. Otherwise, youll find yourself deviating from your own thesis. Additionally, I spent lots of time working on my conclusion. Because my conclusion missed an important thing which is a recall of my thesis. It also lacked my own presence, what the whole meant to me. Since it is a research a paper, I found the most challenging part was the way you convey your information. You must pay attention not to write long sentences full of evidence you can shrink in smaller ones. For example: During the 15th century, an Islamic Community, in Middle East, first made beverages with coffee. According to Ralph S. Hattoxs book, Coffee And Coffeehouses, they served it while receiving friends or during religious devotions in Yemen (37 words). It can definitely become: In 15th century, a Yemen Community first made beverages with coffee. According to Ralph S. Hattoxs book, Coffee And Coffeehouses, coffee was served during feasts or Islamic practice (28 words). Moreover, through revising each part, I discovered that it was more focus on the historic side of coffee. Which was a little off my purpose. But I wanted to show that the social part it is playing now had started since its introduction. It was frustrating because I didnt know how to juggle the ancient part and the contemporary. Therefore, through the 2nd Im planning to add to show that there is similarities between the place coffee held centuries ago at some point and the one is holding now in a specific culture.