NEGOTIATION

PROCESS

ACTIVE LISTENING
INSTRUCTOR:
PROF.Dr. Azize ERGENEL


SUNUM TARH:14 MART 2007

WHAT IS LISTENING?
If you ask a group of people to give
a one word description of listening,
some would say hearing.
BUT LISTENING
Is following and understanding the
sound---it is hearing with a purpose.

DEFINITION OF LISTENING


The process of receiving, constructing
meaning from, and responding to
spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to
hear something with thoughtful
attention

Listening
vs. Hearing
Hearing- physical process; natural;
passive

Listening- physical & mental process;
active; learned process; a skill

Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate in the
process of listening.
Listening is a conscious activity
based on three basic skills:

1) Attitude
2) Attention
3) Adjustment

1)Attitude
Maintain a constructive Attitude

2)Attention
Strive to pay Attention

3)Adjustment
Cultivate a capacity for Adjustment



Empathy
What is it:
reflection of content and feeling at a
deeper level
Purpose:
To try and get an understanding of what
may be deeper feelings


HERE IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW
EMPATHIC LISTENING DIFFERS
FROM THE OTHER TYPES OF
LISTENING
A computer instructor explains with
enthusiasm how to use a new word
processing program
Focuses on the Program
She certainly enjoys teaching
this word processing program.
I think she would enjoy teaching
any subject.
She seems very impressed with
the usefulness of this new
version.

Focuses on Person
her feelings about teaching
the importance to her of
teaching this particular
program
her evaluation of the program

Empathizing

Empathizing does not mean you need
to agree with your partner
Empathizing does not mean you need
to give in to your partner
Empathizing means you do not dismiss
what your partner says as ridiculous
or silly.
It is easy to know when you are
being empathic because:
1. Your body language and tone match
2. Your tone and your feelings match
3. You are focused on what your partner
is saying and meaning.
Listening is needed
everywhere
Listening skills form the
basis of:
Continued learning
Teamwork skills
Management skills
Negotiation skills
Emotional intelligence
But not practiced effectively

70% of all communication
is
Misunderstood
Misinterpreted
Rejected
Distorted
Not heard

Listening is an active process
that has three basic steps.
1. Hearing
2. Understanding
3. Judging
TYPES OF LISTENING
1. Inactive listening.
2. Selective listening.
3. Active listening
4. Reflective Listening
Active Listening
WHAT IS ACTIVE
LISTENING?
A way of listening and responding to another
person that improves mutual understanding.
A way of paying attention to other people that
can make them feel that you are hearing them
This type of listening is called active because it
requires certain behaviors of the listener.
WHY LISTEN
ACTIVELY?
Our brain works four times the speed that someone
can speak. You have to actively focus on listening so
that your mind doesnt wander.
It enriches you and those around you, and guides
other areas of your life.
It can build trust and respect between people, and
prevent misunderstandings that can lead to conflict,
frustration or hurt feelings.
While listening to other peoples point of view, you
may just learn something new and fascinating!
Do you know these?
We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-
3000 wpm
75% of the time we are distracted,
preoccupied or forgetful
20% of the time, we remember what we
hear
More than 35% of businesses think
listening is a top skill for success
Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening
BENEFITS OF ACTIVE
LISTENING
It forces people to listen attentively to others.
It tends to open people up, to get them to say
more.
Shows empathy
Builds relationships
The Main Goals to Active
Listening
Maximize your understanding of the
others perspective

Minimize their defensiveness (and your
own, too)

KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE
LISTENING
1. Display involvement in what the person is saying
2. Carefully observe the person speaking
3. Resist distractions
4. Try to stay focused on what is being said
5. Ask for clarification of anything that you do not
fully understand
6. Delay making judgments about what is said.


Active listeners speak 30% of the
time and listen 70% of the time.
Sometimes, we have to try hard not to
interrupt the only acceptable reason
is to clarify or confirm what has been
said.

Why is active listening
difficult?

When people are preoccupied with current
life stresses or difficult situations, it is hard
for them to listen.
Anxiety can make it hard to listen.
Being angry at the person who is talking also
makes it hard to listen.
Having an idea in mind of what a person
should do makes it hard to listen to that
person's point of view.
ACTIVE LISTENING BARRIERS


EXTERNAL BARRIERS


INTERNAL BARRIERS
Internal Barriers Within
The Listener
Internal Barriers Within
The Speaker
External Barriers
noises
clutter
other interruptions


Internal Barriers Within the Listener
Comparing
Personal Experience
Automatic Talking
Mind-Reading
Judging
Day Dreaming
Perceptual Errors
Barriers Within the Speaker
Expectations
Avoidance
Speaking in Code
Boundary
When to Use Active Listening
Inappropriate
Routine interactions
Physical emergencies

Appropriate
Organizational Crises
Conflict situations
Giving and receiving
feedback
Brainstorming, problem
solving
Seeking peers
cooperation
STEPS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
1) Listen
2) Question
3) Reflect-Paraphrase
4) Agree
Step 1: Listen

To Feelings As Well As Words
Words Emotions -- Implications
Focus on Speaker
Dont plan, speak, or get distracted
What Is Speaker Talking About?
Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
Look At Speaker
Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
Opening door to good conversation
shows an interest. But it must be
done sincerely, without judgment.
1) Verbal&non-verbal encourages

2) Non-verbal behavior

1 ) Encouragement

Convey interest and Keep the person talking.
Concentrate attention upon the speaker
Dont agree or disagree. Use noncommittal
words in a positive tone of voice.
Repeat one or two words of the person's
previous statement.
Be aware of your body language!
Use varying voice intonations



I see
Right
Uh huh
Okay
Sure
Yeah
Yes
Wow
Really?

Use varying voice intonations

2)Non-Verbal Behavior
Non-Verbal Active Listening Techniques:
Maintaining appropriate eye contact
with the interviewee.
Occasionally nodding affirmatively to
display understanding and interest.
Using expectant pauses to indicate to
the interviewee that more is expected
The various forms of
NVC
touch
sound
smell
timing and speed of delivery of speech
proximity
posture
dress
eye contact
gestures
facial expressions
use of silence
Communication through Eyes
2.Question
3 Purposes
Demonstrates you are listening
Gather information
Clarification
When you asked some questions:
Show interest
Encourage more explanation
Keep the person talking
Ask questions but not too many

Types of Questions
1) YES/NO QUESTIONS
2) OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
3)PROBING OR FOLLOW-UP
QUESTIONS
4) LEADING QUESTIONS
1)YES/NO QUESTIONS(Closed
questions)
This type of question involves
asking a question that requires only
a "YES" or "NO" response
2)OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS:

Observation: "What happened?"
Meaning: "What do you mean?"
Affect: "How do you feel?"
Motive: "What do you want?"
Action: "What will you do?"
3)PROBING/FOLLOW-UP
QUESTIONS
Asking another question to clarify or obtain
further information about a interviewees
response.
4)LEADING QUESTIONS
Phrased to indicate a preferred response
Indicates the auditor asking the
question isnt objective
Other Questioning Tips

Avoid asking multiple questions at once.
Generally, its best to start with open
questions
Best questions are short, clear, objective.
Ask questions in logical order.
Allow for quiet, thinking time.
Limit why-questions.
Take notes.
Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
In that step we will use another
techniques for active listening;

1. Reflecting
2. Reframing
3. Paraphrasing
4. Acknowleding
5. Summarizing
1. REFLECTING
Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
Reflect Feelings
REFLECTING WHAT IS SAID
REFLECTING FEELINGS
Someone may say: Dont worry. Im fine
(when she actually looks very upset)
Reflecting, you say
You say youre OK, but by the tone of your
voice, you seem upset, correct?

Act like a mirror and reflect feelings
that you see and hear. This is
particularly useful when the persons
tone of voice or gestures dont match
the persons words.
OR just as a check
Seems like you had a fun time, right? OR
I sense youve become worried. Is that
so?
2.REFRAMING
Why You Do It?
to help the other person see their concerns in a new light
to broaden the meaning of an issue to identify needs or
interests
to diffuse negative feelings
to establish the focus for resolution
How You Do It?
recognize underlying needs
re-word concerns from negative neutral/positive past
future; problem opportunity; interpersonal
system rights/wrongs impacts positions interests
singular multiple
REFRAMING(cont.)
Concern: She always talks to everyone
else but me when there is a problem.

Reframe: It sounds as if you would like
more direct communication to resolve
concerns.


3.PARAPHASING
PARAPHRASE the speaker to
acknowledge the story and capture
the content.
EXAMPLE: Lets see if I got this right.
Youre upset because you think were
going off in the wrong direction and you
want to clarify our objective before we
write this assignment. Is that right
CAUTION: Dont parrot back; be sure to
put the message in your own words
thats active listening.
4. ACKNOWLEDING
Problem
Solving
Problem
Solving
Problem
Solving Might
Not Work In the
Face of Strong
Feelings
Feelings May Need
Acknowledgement
Before Effective
Problem Solving
5.SUMMARIZE
Why You Do It?
to review progress
to pull together important
ideas and information
to establish a foundation for
further discussion
How You Do It?
restate the central ideas and
feelings you have heard
Example: Lets see if I have a clear understanding of
your experience at this point
So basically what is most important to you is

Step 4: Agree
Get Speakers Consent to Your
Reframing
Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
Solution Is Near!


Remember that the objective of all of this
is increase understanding of the others
point of view, not necessarily to agree
with it or support it.

A good listener tries to
understand thoroughly what
the other person is saying. In
the end he may disagree
sharply, but before he
disagrees, he wants to know
exactly what it is he is
disagreeing with.
Kenneth A. WELLS
Are You a Good Listener?
Do you frequently think of other things when others
are talking to you?
Do you doodle, shuffle papers, look at the clock or out
the window, read the newspaper,or watch TV?
Do you silently argue with the talker?
Do you only selectively hear ideas that fit your
beliefs?
Do you feel most people have little to talk about that is
interesting or important?
Do you listen passively without any facial expressions?
Do you frequently interrupt others as they are
speaking?
Do you complete sentences or ideas for people when
they pause to think?
Do you silently criticize characteristics of the speaker:
voice, looks, manner of speaking?
Do you have to ask people to repeat what they said
because you have forgotten?
ACTIVE LISTENERS
1. Be there
2. Listen carefully to the person
3. Accept the person and his/her
feelings
4. Stay with the other person's point of
view without becoming that person
5. Trust the person enough to keep out
of it




ACTIVE LISTENING
&NEGOTIATION
Active listening is important for
identifying and creating negotiating
goals, because listening helps to orient
the negotiator to the environment.
Because people do not learn much
while they are talking,
negotiators should attempt to
talk less than 50% of time.
In negotiation, there are FOUR major reasons to
listen:


1.To learn the other sides proposals and
strengths;
2.To discover the needs of constituents and
teammates
3.To discern subtle position changes and
openings; and
4.To show other side that their proposals are
understood.
Listening is a critical communication skill for
managers and consultants, as well as for all of us
in our personal lives.
You can't negotiate effectively until you
understand what the other person wants.
Active listening, is crucial to achieving your
ultimate communication objectives.
Active listening is a skill that, like other
communication skills, must be developed .
By practicing you can develop these skills.