Kevern 1

Renee Kevern
Devin Patten
English 1010
March 5, 2014
Self Discovery
Bernard oo!er"s #$ lac% of &iny S!ar%s'Re(e()rances of a *ay Boyhood+ ,as !-)lished
the Harper's Magazine in .an-ary 1//10 &he essay ,as ,ritten as a (e(oir of oo!er as he descri)es
,hat it ,as li%e to )e gay as a teenager0 1e -ses !ersonal stories and disc-sses others !erce!tions as he
hid his sa(e se2 attraction thro-gho-t his teenage years0 1is -se of descri!tive ,ords and !ersonal
feelings allo, the reader to identify ,ith his fears and evo%e sy(!athy of his hidden attraction, ,hile at
the sa(e ti(e consider ,hat secrets of their o,n they (ay )e holding on to0
&he entire essay is ,ritten as a (e(oir and therefore the style is infor(al and very descri!tive
in nat-re0 $t ti(es the -se of lengthy descri!tions is distracting to the act-al story0 So(e (ay feel s-ch
a s!ecific narrative allo,s the( to )etter identify ,ith the ideas )eing !resented0 3hile the essay is
,ritten to a general a-dience that anyone co-ld a!!reciate, it a!!eals to a reader ,ho (ay )e str-ggling
,ith their o,n identity or hiding secrets that are o-t of the nor( in their c-rrent circle of society0
&he article starts )y disc-ssing a fello, st-dent, &heresa Sanche4, ,ith an ele(ent of (ystery
and the reader is i((ediately dra,n in as yo- ,onder ,hat this st-dent is -! to0 oo!er -ses a lot of
descri!tive ,ords ,hich allo, the reader to !ict-re the(selves in the sit-ation0 1e co((ents on the
variety of )oo%s that she reads fro( the novel Let Me Live My Life, to 101 Ways to Cook Hamburger0
oo!er descri)es her as #(at-re )eyond her years0+ &he a-thor"s descri!tion of &heresa, lets yo- %no,
of the high regard in ,hich he holds her0 &his credi)ility is i(!ortant to esta)lish )eca-se she is the
first !erson to as% hi( if he is a fag to ,hich he 5-ic%ly res!onds,+6o0+ &his first e2a(!le is 5-ic% to
sho, ho, his fear initially )egan and gave hi( the )eginning tho-ghts of ho, to handle his o,n
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se2-ality0 3ithin o-r o,n lives, ,e each hold so(e !eo!les o!inions higher than ,e hold others0 $s
this event is descri)ed, the reader (ight conte(!late ,ho that !erson is ,ithin their o,n circle0
&he a-thor goes on to descri)e his feelings a)o-t a (ale friend ,ho had co(e to s,i( at his
ho-se0 1e -ses e2tensive descri!tions of the event, so the reader is a)le to once again !ict-re
the(selves in his sit-ation and can identify ,ith ho, the a-thor feels0 &his section of the essay is also
i(!ortant to esta)lish that oo!er has a sa(e se2 attraction0 1e is very straightfor,ard in the ,ay he
descri)es his feelings and disco-nts anyone ,ho (ight ass-(e a gay !erson is ta-ght to )e that ,ay0
&he reader is s,ayed to sy(!athi4e ,ith the a-thor as he descri)es other events in his teenage life0
oo!er then esta)lishes his fa(ily as Eastern E-ro!ean .e,s and contin-es in a long
descri!tion of his fa(ily0 So(e readers (ay find the(selves s%i( reading to the end of the !aragra!h
as the infor(ation see(s -nnecessary to the !oint of the story0 3hile the -se of ad7ectives see(s to go
on and on, it see(s he ,as trying to esta)lish ho, his !arents (ight overreact to his secret0 Everyone
in society is )orn into a fa(ily that hel!s esta)lish ,ho ,e are and s,ays o-r )eliefs into ,hat is right
and ,rong, or ,hat is acce!ta)le and ,hat is not0 &his !assage esta)lishes ho, ones -!)ringing can
affect the choices ,e (a%e in life0 $fter )eing (et ,ith shoc% and then silence fro( his (other, the
a-thor disc-sses his desire to change his #yearning for )oys into a yearning for girls0+ it contin-es in
the -se of e2cessive ad7ectives as he descri)es ho, others aro-nd hi( #try+ ne, things and ho, they
try to change their o,n ha)its8oo!er90 $s oo!er s,itched fro( act-al events to his o,n !ersonal
tho-ghts, the reader is a)le to stay engaged in the story0
&he a-thor starts a ne, section of the story as he is given the o!!ort-nity to test his theories of
trying ne, things, and is invited to a (a%e o-t !arty0 $gain every scene of the night is descri)ed in
s-ch a ,ay that the reader can !ict-re the(selves act-ally there0 &he events of the night are dis!layed
as sched-led and ro-tine0 :t (a%es the reader ,onder if it a!!eared that ,ay at the ti(e of the event or
only in (e(ory0 $fter the a-thor gives several acco-nts of his %issing !artners, he descri)es noticing
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the static that had )-ilt -! aro-nd the roo( and the s!ar%s that #flare here and there in the dar% li%e
(eager, short<lived stars0+ 8oo!er9 &he ,ay the a-thor chooses to note this tiny detail of the evening
sho,s his o)vio-s disinterest in the other events of the night0 :t is also interesting to note that the title
for the essay is chosen fro( this single event of hi( trying to en7oy %issing a girl and yet co-ld not0
oo!er chooses to ,rite a)o-t his last e2!erience ,ith the estee(ed st-dent &heresa0 1e is
as%ed to deliver a note fro( one teacher to another0 $fter a )rief dis!lay of her too cool for this school
nat-re, &heresa tells hi( the note he is carrying is #no ordinary note+8oo!er90 &he a-thor ass-(es that
she is el-ding to the fact that it is a love note )et,een t,o (ale teachers at the school0 $fter several
caref-l rereads of the !aragra!h, to the reader, &heresa co-ld have ass-(ed a n-()er of other things in
the conte2t of the letter )-t the a-thor directs yo- to his trail of tho-ght as he )egins ,atch and dissect
these t,o teachers0 oo!er see(s to )e trying to find others ,ith ,ho( he can identify ,ith0
1e goes on to descri)e the event of snea%ing thro-gh the li)rary in order to loo% -! the ,ord
1o(ose2-al0 &o the reader, the event see(s h-(oro-s0 =ne is a)le to identify ,ith the event as so
often !eo!le thin% others are ,atching the( ,hen tr-ly individ-als are (ore involved in their c-rrent
tas% and ty!ically do not s!end their ti(e ,atching others0 $dding this sit-ation to the essay re(inds
the reader of ho, yo-ng oo!er ,as at the ti(e0 &his ,as i(!ortant to esta)lish, so the reader can
consider the(selves at the very i(!ressiona)le age0
&he a-thor )rings the story f-ll circle )ac% to the !ool at his ho-se ,ith his sa(e (ale friend0
&his ti(e ,ith hi( )eing f-lly a,are of the secret only he %no,s and )eing a)le to act (-ch (ore
nat-rally aro-nd others0 &hese t,o events esta)lish a contrast of ho, oo!er initially ,as dealing ,ith
his attraction vers-s ho, he felt once he had conte(!lated it and esta)lished ,ho he ,as as a !erson0
3hile he (ay not have )een ready to tell the ,orld a)o-t his desires, it ,as i(!ortant to esta)lish that
even then, he ,as co(forta)le ,ith ,ho he ,as0
&he last !aragra!h in the te2t oo!er changes the tone0 3hile still -sing descri!tive ,ords, is
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5-ic% to get to the !oint that he is in an esta)lished ho(ose2-al relationshi!0 1e also conte(!lates ho,
life (ight have )een different had he confessed his attractions at a yo-ng age0 $fter a lengthy and very
descri!tive (e(oir, the essay ends 5-ic%ly0 &he 5-ic% ending gives the reader a chance to conte(!late
their o,n tho-ghts0 >irst the sy(!athy yo- feel for anyone having to hid ,ho they tr-ly are, and then to
)egin to analy4e if yo- as the reader are living ,ith any secrets0
3hile the narration is e2ha-stively f-ll of ad7ectives, the detail descri!tions allo, the reader to
identify ,ith the a-thor as he shares his !ersonal conflict0 &he essay goes thro-gh each as!ect of
oo!ers dile((a, first ,ith school, fa(ily, friends, and then ,ith hi(self0 $ll along the ,ay he gives a
detailed acco-nt and the reader is a)le to see ho, these sit-ations infl-enced hi( to %ee! his secret
hidden0
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3or%s ited
oo!er, Bernard0 #$ lac% of &iny S!ar%s'Re(e()rances of a *ay Boyhood0+ Harper's Magazine
.an-ary 1//10 Print0