Talk to the Hand
BIBLESTUDY January 6, 2008
fellowship
By Jeff Powell
Introduction
In August 2007 the First Baptist Church Strategic
Leadership Team was formed. This team was tasked
with articulating the mission, vision, and strategy of
First Baptist Church. Why was this necessary?
Because like most organizations, churches are
vulnerable to “mission drift”. It is easy for us to lose
sight of what God has called us and gifted us to do
and to be. It had also become apparent that while
many good things were happening in our ministries,
there was not an overarching goal which drew our
ministries, or, for that matter, our church family,
together. The most effective churches are those
where all of the church family, the ministers, and the
ministries are “on the same page”. The task of the
SLT was to articulate a common goal for our church
family.
The team consisted of two dozen folks. Seven
members were our senior staff; the other 17 were lay
people. The team mirrored the demographics of our
church. Some were under 30 years old, some were
over 50 years old, and the greatest number were in
their 30’s and 40’s. Some were long-time members
of FBC, and some were relatively new members.
The process was led by Dr. Aubrey Malphurs.
Aubrey is Professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas
Theological Seminary. He is a nationally recognized
expert of church leadership issues, and has authored
more than 15 books. He is president of the
Malphurs Group, a church training and consulting
organization.
The process began with the discovery of FBC’s
core values. Your core values are your deeply held
convictions. They shape who you are, what you do,
what you don’t do, what you care about. They are
the internal map that directs your life. Individuals
have core values – honesty, belief in God, frugality,
etc. Organizations have core values, also. (Customer
service, maximizing profit, worker safety,
environmental issues, etc…) So do churches. Here’s
how the SLT discovered ours.
A list of several dozen core values for churches
was handed out, and the team was asked to pick out
those which are most true for our church. The group
did not decide which values our church should have.
Nor did they choose their own personal favorites.
They sought to identify those which are most true of
our church right now. These were then narrowed
down to the top six.
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Looking at the list, it was decided that there
were some things missing that are vital for a church
to function biblically. So three “aspirational values”
were added – Fellowship, Service, and Biblical
Instruction. As a church we practice all three, but
the team felt like they were not valued by our church
body as highly as they should be.
Finally, during staff meeting several days later,
our own Charles Welch asked about prayer. How
can prayer not be a core value of our church? So we
added it as an aspirational value, to form our “top
ten”. (Again, it was felt that while we do pray, our
church as a whole does not value prayer as highly as
it should. I have added the entire list at the end of
the lesson.)
As we studied the values more closely, they
seemed to easily divide into two groups. Five of the
values refer to core practices of any biblical church.
They are non-negotiables. We refer to them as the
“foundational five”.
The next five refer to our core personality. They
are what make us unique, what set us apart from
other churches. They refer to our particular “DNA”.
The task before us now is to communicate the
findings of the SLT to the church family. The next
several weeks are committed to that task. Jeff Clark
will be preaching through the values on Sunday
mornings, and we will be teaching through them in
Sunday School. So, let’s get started!
Talk to the Hand
You’ll notice that the next several Sunday
School lessons are entitled “Talk to the Hand”.
That’s because the first five values we study together
can be easily remembered by glancing at your own
hand – five fingers, five values.
• Thumb – Fellowship (January 6)
• Index Finger – Biblical Instruction (January
13)
• Middle Finger – Service (January 20 – Service
and evangelism will be combined into one lesson,
taught 1/20)
• Ring Finger – Evangelism
• Pinkie/Whole Hand – Worship (January 27)
Four thoughts:
1. Do these sound familiar? Where have you
heard those five values/practices before? We have
used the “baseball diamond” logo to teach them for
BIBLESTUDY January 6, 2008 the past several years. So the “foundational five” is
nothing new to most of us. Same values, different
visual (hand instead of baseball diamond).
2. These values are all foundational. Ask,
“When a home is being constructed, why is the
foundation so important?” (Because everything rests
on it. If it is not solid, then everything built on it will
eventually fall.) The foundation for our worship
center at Lincoln Road is being prepared right now.
Dozens of concrete footings are being poured, each
up to 5’x 5’ wide, and up to 8’ deep. That’s a lot of
concrete! But it is necessary to provide a stable base
for our worship center. The “foundational five” are
the foundation of what we do at FBC. They are the
five core practices which we are bound to by God’s
Word. They are non-negotiables. To ignore them is
to cease to be a biblical church.
3. These values are universal. They are not just
for FBC – they are true for every church. They are
true for Main Street, Temple, 1st Pres, Parkway
Heights,…
4. These values are personal. They are
foundational for the church, and they are also
foundational for individual believers. It is the
responsibility of every church to provide
opportunities for growth in these areas, and it is the
responsibility of every believer to pursue
opportunities for growth in these areas.
Let’s begin with your thumb…
Since your thumb is the closest finger to the rest early Christians shared? What characterized their
of your body, let it remind you to let others get close fellowship? It was very practical! They were busy
to you. Our first core value is fellowship, and it is
extremely important!
As an upstanding member of a Baptist church, helping each other with practical matters. Are you
how would you define or describe “fellowship”?
What is it? What do you do at a fellowship?
Most of us think of fellowship in terms of a get- you my extra coat. These early Christians didn’t just
together, a party…that usually involves… eating…
chicken. It involves visiting together, enjoying each
other’s company, sharing a meal/snack together.
Those things are certainly one aspect of
fellowship, but it involves much more.
Webster defines fellowship as:
1. companionship; friendly association
2. a mutual sharing.
3. a group of people with the same interests,
company; brotherhood”
The original sense was a partner, and the source
of this meaning was the Old English word feolaga,
borrowed from the Scandanavian felog, “partner”,
which was made up of fe, “money” and –lag, a
person who “lays” something down, the idea being
to “lay” down money for a common cause or
undertaking, to pool your resources. One Hebrew
word for fellowship is chabar, meaning “to be
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joined”. Perhaps the best known biblical word for
fellowship is the Greek word koinonia, found in the
New Testament. It means “fellowship, communion,
to become a partaker, to have all things in
common”.
Some of you are old enough to remember when
hippies roamed the earth. Ask, “What do you
remember about hippies?” (Long hair, drugs,
Woodstock, a disturbing lack of bathing, etc…) One
thing you may remember is their tendency to live in
communes. They would live together, eat together,
pool their resources – they shared everything. There
is something of the idea of fellowship there. It is the
idea that I was created to live in community with
others. I am now to “do life” on my own. I need
others around me. As Rick Warren, pastor of
Saddleback Community Church says, “We are
better together.”
This is a foundational truth. Think of the words
the Bible uses to describe the Church. We are a
Body, one Body with many members. We are the
family of God. We are brothers and sisters in Christ.
We are the Bride of Christ. All of these images point
towards strong, deep relationships with others.
So what would those relationships look like in
“real life”?
Real Fellowship is Practical
Read Acts 2:44, 45 and Acts 4:32-35. What do
you notice about the love and fellowship that these
helping each other. They were committed to Bible
study and prayer, but they were also committed to
hungry? Let me bring you some food. Need a place
to stay? You can stay at my house. Cold? Let me give
sit around and sing “Kum Ba Yah” (sp?) – they got
their hands dirty helping each other.
“What do you think that kind of fellowship
would look like today, here at FBC, Hattiesburg?
What would it look like in this Sunday School class?
Have you seen it or experienced it before?”
That kind of fellowship has got to be one of our
foundational values. But it isn’t. At least the SLT
didn’t think it was. At least not yet. So it has become
one of the values we aspire to, a value that the
majority of our church holds.
Ask, “Why do you think we (our church) is
lacking in this area?” (Too busy, didn’t understand
it’s importance, selfish, I’ve got my own problems,
etc…) “What could our Sunday School class do to
make that a reality among ourselves?” (Openly share
needs, set aside times for your class to do “fellowship
projects” together, etc…)
BIBLESTUDY January 6, 2008 Ask, “Why do you think Starbucks now owns
Real Fellowship is Personal the world? Is it because of a $5 cup of coffee?” It’s
Describe an average day in your life, from the because the Starbucks strategy is to create a “third
time you get up until the time you go to bed. place”, a place other than work or home, a place
Chances are it will be incredibly busy, with very where folks could sit and relax and enjoy each
little, if any, down time. other’s company and talk about their problems and
be cared about and accepted and … It’s a place of
Ask, “In a daily schedule like that, what usually fellowship! And we crave it so much that we’re
suffers?” (The answer: personal relationships) willing to pay $5 for a .50 cent cup of coffee. (By the
Personal relationships are one of the main way, there were 12,240 Starbucks at the beginning of
casualties of the speed at which we live. Our 2007, with plans to add another 2400 by the end of
busyness precludes the time necessary to develop 2007!)
deep fellowship with others, with the result being a Ask, “Have you seen the advertising for
collection of acquaintances characterized by surface Bellegrasse, the new development going up out west
relationships. But this has not always been so. When on Highway 589? It’s designed around common
I (Jeff Powell) teach about fellowship I often refer to playgrounds, ballfields, school, church. Houses are
the “coffee ladies”. These were my mother’s very being built with front porches near sidewalks so folks
best friends. There were five of them, and they walking through the neighborhood can visit with
gathered together for coffee (and gossip) at least once folks sitting on the front porch. It’s all designed to
a day, often twice. They laughed together, shared promote fellowship, community.
together, planned events together, ate together, cried We shouldn’t be surprised. God designed us this
together – they did life together. When my mother way from the beginning. Look at Genesis 2:18 – “It
died of cancer, I was in Montana on a mission trip. is not good for man to be alone.” That refers to
When I arrived at my home, the “coffee ladies” were more than just marriage. It is a blanket statement
there – ministering to my family, just as they had about all of us. We are made for community.
done through my mother’s illness. (Teacher, please So what will it take for us to foster this type of
feel free to use this illustration, or to substitute your community among ourselves? In his book The
own.) Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren mentions several
Now if you are an older adult, the chances are things for us to think about and put into practice. As
you have these kinds of relationships. Fellowship is a I mention these areas, grade yourself. Where are you
part of the world you grew up in. But if you are doing well? Which areas could use some work?
younger, the chances of having this level of • Authenticity – Authentic fellowship is not
fellowship are much smaller. If may even be a superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It is genuine,
foreign concept to you. heart-to-heart, sometimes gut level, sharing. The
The Greek word used in the New Testament for world thinks intimacy happens in the dark, but it
“know” is ginosko. It means more than “I know really happens in the light! See I John 1: 7,8.
2+2=4” or “I know George Bush”. It’s not just • Mutuality – Mutuality is the heart of
“head knowledge”, or merely recognizing a person. fellowship. It is depending on each other. It is
It means to come to know, understand, or building reciprocal relationships, sharing
understand completely. It also carries the idea of responsibilities, and helping each other. Paul said, “I
becoming known completely by another, and want us to help each other with the faith we have.
appreciated by that one. The verb conveys the Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.”
thought of a connection. I Corinthians 12:25 (The Message)
That is often what we fear the most, but also • Sympathy – Sympathy is not giving quick
what we crave the most. Ask, “What do we fear advice; it is entering in and sharing the pain of
about being completely known by someone others. “As holy people…be sympathetic, kind,
else?” (In a word, rejection. If you really know me, humble, gentle, and patient.” Col. 3:12
you may not like me.) Ask, “So how do we ‘hide’ • Mercy – Fellowship is a place of grace, where
from each other?” (We avoid anything but surface
mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship
relationships; we stay busy; we never open up; etc…)
happens when mercy wins over justice. “Never hold
Ask, “What’s the result of this?” (Isolation, even in a
grudges.” Col. 3:13 (LB)
group of people.)
• Honesty – You have to care enough to
The paradox is that we also crave being
lovingly speak the truth, even when you would gloss
completely known. Deep down (or maybe not so
over a problem or ignore an issue. “…Speak the
deep down) we want to experience life with others;
truth in love.” Eph. 4:15
we want to do life with genuine friends; we crave
• Humility – Self-importance, smugness, and
relationships, fellowship, community.
stubborn pride destroy fellowship faster than

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BIBLESTUDY January 6, 2008 anything else. “Clothe yourselves with humility
toward one another.” I Peter 5:5b
• Courtesy – Courtesy is respecting our
differences, being considerate of each other’s
feelings, and being patient with people who irritate
us. “God’s people should be bighearted and
courteous.” Titus 3:2 (The Message)
• Frequency – You must have frequent, regular
contact with a specific group of people to build
genuine fellowship. “Let us not give up the habit of
meeting together…” Heb. 10:25
Real Fellowship is a
Partnership
As was described earlier, the word “fellowship”
is derived from an Old English business term which
meant “partner”. Think about partners in a
business. Name some attitudes and actions they have
to take in order for the business to be successful?
(They must each perform their jobs; “talk up” the
business; have the same goals; be positive; be
realistic; support each other; help each other;
compromise with each other when necessary; etc….
You might want to write these on the board.)
After you have written these on the board, point
to them one at a time and ask, “What would happen
if each partner did not perform his job? What would
happen if one partner constantly spoke negatively
about the business? What if the partners held
different goals for the business?”
“Which of these are also true regarding
church?”
Then ask, “What happens when church
“partners” (members) do not each perform their
job? What happens when church “partners” speak
negatively about the church? What happens when
church “partners” have different goals for the
ministry?”
If we want our “business” (leading others to
know, love, and follow Jesus) to be successful, then we
must “partner together”, or it will not happen. We
must have a common goal, and must be willing to
subordinate some of our own likes and dislikes for
the sake of the fellowship. We must be willing to do
our part, to serve in the area of our giftedness. We
must be willing to support and encourage each other.
Again, Rick Warren gives us several practical
ideas for partnering together. Again, grade yourself
in each of these areas.
• Focus on what we have in common, not our
differences. Paul wrote, “Let us concentrate on the
things which make for harmony, and the growth of
one another’s character.” Romans 14:19
• Be realistic in your expectations. Dietrich
Bonhoeffer, the German pastor who was martyred
for resisting Nazis, wrote a classic book on
fellowship, Life Together. In it he suggests that the
sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be
perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit
pretending and start admitting we’re all imperfect
and need grace. This is the beginning of real
community. “Be patient with each other, making
allowance for each other’s faults because of your
love.” Eph. 4:2
• Choose to encourage rather than criticize. It is
always easier to stand on the sidelines and take shots
at those who are serving than it is to get involved and
make a contribution. “Why, then, criticize your
brother’s actions, why try to make him look small?
We shall all be judged one day, not by each other’s
standards or even our own, but by the standard of
Christ.” Romans 14:10 (Ph)
• Refuse to listen to gossip. Have the courage to
say, “Please stop. I don’t need to know this. Have you
talked directly to that person?” “Troublemakers
listen to troublemakers.” Proverbs 17:4; “These are
the ones who split churches, thinking only of
themselves.” Jude 1:19 (The Message)
• Practice God’s method for conflict resolution.
During conflict, it is tempting to complain to a third
party rather than courageously speak the truth in
love to the person you are upset with. This makes
the matter worse. Instead, you should go directly to
the person involved. See Matthew 18:15-17.
• Support your pastor and leaders. (I know…this
sounds a little self-serving, but it is biblical!) “Be
responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their
counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives
and work under the strict supervision of God.
Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its
drudgery. Why would you want to make things
harder for them?” Hebrews 13:17 (The Message)
Again, how are you doing in each of these
areas? Where are you doing well? Which areas need
some work?
Closing
Let’s close by beginning to put some plans in
place. We’ve talked this morning about three
characteristics of fellowship. It is practical, it is
personal, and it is about partnering together. Let’s
make a goal for our class for 2008 in each of those
areas.
• What is our goal for becoming more practical
in our fellowship? What will we do first? When will
we do it?
• What is our goal for developing a more
personal fellowship among our class members is
2008? What will we do first? When will we do it?
• What is our goal for partnering together with
the rest of the church body in 2008 so that our
“business” (ministry) will be successful?