Phone rings: "Green, green!

"
They answer: "Yellow?"
They ask: "White?"
They hang up: "Pink!"

Bank Teller: How do you like the money?
English Student: I like it very much.

"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me."

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...

Two balloons were floating across the desert.
One balloon said to the other:
"Look out for the cactussssssssssss!"

What is the longest word in the English language?
"Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
Close the door please. I'm dressing.

What animal can jump higher than a house?
A house can't jump!

What did the traffic lights say to the car?
Don't look now. I'm changing!

If a man was born in Italy, went to America and died in San Francisco, what would he be?
Dead!

A teacher was giving a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say 'Pardon me'."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one."