Caldwell1

KelseaCaldwell
Mrs.Crichton
APLanguagePeriod5
12October2013

UCSantaCruz
UCSantaCruzisanocean:itscalmsurface,whilebeautifulinappearance,revealsnearlynothingof
thecomplex,burstinglifelyingbelowlayersofemptywater.Thestoriesofothersexperiencesthere
cannotconnectwithyouthewaycreatingyourownstorycan.Theonlywaytotrulysee,feel,and
understandUCSantaCruzistoimmerseyourselfandletthecampusopenuptoyou.UCSantaCruz
becameasecondhometomethroughmytimetherewithCOSMOS,afourweeklongmathand
sciencecampwhereIwasexposedtosomeofthemostamazing,interestingpeopletoeverentermy
life.
ThefirsttimeIsetfootoncampusasaCOSMOSstudentburnslikeaconstantmemoryinmymind.
Caldwell2
Thisplacewasalientome.Theemptydormroomwheremyswollenbagslaidunpackedwasnotmy
comfybedathome,andthebarrenbunkacrossfromminestillawaiteditsunknownaccommodator.
TheendlessmilesofredwoodsoutsidemywindowwerenottheSanJosescenerythatIhadknownmy
entirelife.Soonmyfamilyleft,readytosendmeoffonmynewadventure,whileIwasstillreluctantto
saygoodbyetotheonlyfamiliarpresenceIcouldfind.Thefirstdaywasfilledwiththepassingglances
andunrecognizablefacesof164silentstrangers,allofusjustindividualswithoutasingleperson
amongstusthatcouldtrulybecalledafriend.IsuddenlygrewanxiousfortheweekendwhenIcould
visitmyfamily,andthinkingofmyfourweeksatUCSantaCruzcontinuingonlikethefirstday,I
shuddered.Staringoutacrossthecampusatalloftheunfamiliarpeoplesurroundingme,Iknewthis
monthwouldtakeaneternitytoend.
Thefirstfewdayswerealonelyjourney.ThroughoutthefirstweekIwentthrough,attempting
briefandimpersonalconversationswithmanypeoplewhodidnotleaveenoughofanimpressionto
rememberpastanhour,andcontinuedthiswayuntilImettheonepersonIcouldneverforget.Arloand
Ihadsomuchincommon,webegantalkingaseasilyaschildhoodfriendsafteronlyadayandIrealized
thatIhadnothingtoworryabout.Arlosimmediateopennesswashedawaymyfearsofbeingharshly
judgedbypeople,andIfinallyallowedmyselftohavethatopennesswithothers.InjustdaysIfeltlikeI
washome.AtUCSC,IfoundfriendsthatIconsideredclosertomethaneventhepeopleItalkedto
everydayatschool.PlacesliketheBoardwalkortheWharfoverflowedwiththespecialmemoriesI
sharedwitheveryonefromCOSMOS.Howeveritwasthelittlethingsthatwedidtogetherthatmade
thiscampussospecialtome.StayingupuntilthreeinthemorningtalkingwithmyroommateGlitter,
playingwaterpolointhemiddleoftheocean,andsingingdisneysongsuntilourthroatswereraware
whatIwillremembermost.Everyoneatthatcamptaughtmesomethingnewaboutmyselfandthe
Caldwell3
friendshipsImadeatUCSCwillcarryonforalifetime.
ThelongerIstayedatUCSCthemoreInoticeditssubtlebeauties,likethewaythedeerwould
paceacrossthelawninfrontofourdormsandinspectusaswewalkedpastinhugepacksfor
earlymorningbreakfast.IneverfeltsoatpeaceasIdidwithintheconfinesofSantaCruzsnatural,
forestedenvironment.AnaturehikeItookoneSundaytotherocksculpturesbecameamomentof
selfdiscovery.Almostcompletelyunexposedtotheoutsideworld,wherenotevenwindcanenter,this
areaintheforestsaroundcampusbringspeoplefromacrossAmericatobuildthethousandsoftowering
rockstatuesrunningfromtheveryentranceoftheareatothecliffwallthatshieldsit.Thissightwas
beautifulbeyondwords,eachstatuemadebyadifferentpersonwiththeirownstoryandtheirpasts,
dreams,heartachesandnewbeginningswrittenonlittlenotesslippedbetweentherocks.Erectingmy
ownrocktower,surroundedbygreatfriendsthatIwouldhaveneverknownwithoutCOSMOS,and
leavingmyownstorytheremademefeellikesuchasmallpieceofagiantpuzzle.Yetitalsomademe
realizethatnomattermysizeIwasstillanessentialpiece,andwithoutmethepuzzlewouldalwaysbe
incomplete.
ThelastdaythatIwouldeversetfootoncampusasaCOSMOS2013studentstillburnslikea
constantmemoryinmymind.Thisplacewasmyhome.ThemessydormroomthatIstillcouldnotbring
myselftopackhadadoptedapieceofmypersonality,anditwastheonlybedIcouldeversleep
comfortablyinagain.Onthebunkacrossfrommine,withtearyeyesandthesamepackingdilemmathat
Ihad,satGlitter:myroommate,mybestfriend,mypartnerincrime.Theendlessmilesofredwoods
outsidemywindowwereanunspokenpoemthatItreasureddowntoeachindividualneedle.Soonmy
familyarrived,readytotearmeawayfrommymicrocosm,whileIwasstillreluctanttoaccepttheir
presence.Thelastdaywasfilledwiththelaughingfacesofthe164peopleIhadcometoknowand
Caldwell4
cherish,allagiantfamilywithoutasinglepersonamongstuswhocouldnottrulybecalledalifelong
friend.MyfamilywonderedwhyIhadnevertriedtovisitontheweekends,andthinkingofthelong
SaturdaysIhadspentmakingmemorieswithmynowclosestfriends,Ismiled.Staringoutacrossthe
campus,surroundedbyallofthepeopleIhadlearnedtoloveandwhohadlearnedtoloveme,Iknew
thismonthwouldtakeaneternitytoforget.Whenwedeparted,goingofftoourseparatelivesin
anywherefromLAtoJapan,weleftapieceofourselvesatCOSMOSandapieceofCOSMOS
alwaysstayedwithus.

Relfection:
1. Howdoesyourvoiceshinethroughinyouressay?Whatimpressiondoesitgiveyourreader?
MyvoiceshinesthroughmyperspectiveontheplaceIwroteabout.
2. Whatwordsandphrasesdidyouusetopullthereaderforwardthroughyouressay?Iusea
largeamountofimageryandfunnypersonalanecdotes.
3. Howdoyoudemonstratethatyouarecredible,butdonottakeyourselftooseriously?I
establishcredibilitybyelaboratingonmyexperienceswithinthearea.
4. Howdoesyouressayaddtoyourreadersknowledgeandexperiences?Itaddsmytakeona
uniqueplaceknownbymostbutnotfrequentlyvisited.
5. Whatuniqueperspectivedoyouofferyourreaders?Ioffermyexperiencesatasummercamp
whichfewothersgotoandexpressmyloveoftheatmosphere.
6. Isyourdictionprecise,fresh,andengaging?Yes.
7. Howdoyoudemonstrateagoodsenseofyouraudience?Itrytoonlyincludedetailsthatwill
engagereaderswhodidnotpersonallyexperiencetheplace.
Caldwell5
8. Doesyouressaysoundlikeonecompleteunit?Yes.
9. Areyourdetailsconcreteandselective?Yes.
10. Whattype(s)ofimagerydoesyourdictioncreate?(Visual,Auditory,Olfactory,Tactile,
Gustatory)Iusevisualimagery.
11. Whattechniquesdoyouusetomakeyourwritingsoundeffortless?Ikeeparelaxed,slightly
conversationaltone.
12. Howdoyoudemonstratecontrolofgrammar,punctuation,usage,andformatinyouressay?I
usedstandardMLAformatandIusedphraseswhichbestfitforthestyleandtoneofmyessay.
13. Howdoesyouressaysappearancecommunicateahighlevelofprofessionalism?Myessayis
instandardMLAformat.
14. Whataboutyouressayareyouparticularlyproudof?Iamproudofmydescriptionofaplace
veryimportanttome.