Chapter 6: The Process of Preparing Effective

Business Messages
1. Five Planning Steps
A. Identify Your Purpose
B. Analyze Your Audience
C. Choose Your Ideas
D. Collect Your Data
E. Organize Your Message
2. Basic Organizational Plans
A. Direct (Deductive) Approach
B. Indirect (Inductive) Approach
3. Beginning & Endings
A. Opening Paragraphs
B. Closing Paragraphs
4. Composing the Message
A. Drafting Your Message
B. Revising Your Message
C. Editing and Proofreading Your
Message
1- Five Planning Steps (before writing)
A- Identify Your Purpose
Determine your specific purpose
Informational (firms new location),
Persuasive (buy your product),
Negotiating (contract with suppliers), or
Explanation (declining credit request)
Goodwill creation is the rationale (underlying)
purpose
The objective of your message is almost always twofold: the
reason for the message itself and the creation of goodwill.
1- Five Planning Steps (before writing)
B- Analyze Your Audience
Being acquainted to reader/listenervisualize individuals
However, often we write to people we have never met before, so be careful
about:
Salutation of the letter, (proper placement of first and last names and correct titles)
Basic communication principles of the country
Persons educational level, attitudes (often culture-specific)
Try to see him/her as a member of a group, such as business or professional person
or laborer; superior, etc.
Informed/uninformed on the subject and
Will react positively/negatively, with interest /disinterest

See your message from your receivers point of view: their needs, interests,
attitudes, even their culture. (Recall chap 3)
1- Five Planning Steps (before writing)
C- Choose Your Ideas
With your purpose and receiver in mindchoose the ideas for
your message.
Answering a letter: underline the main points to discuss and jot
your ideas in the margin.
Writing an unsolicited or a complex message: begin by listing
ideas as they come to youbrain stormingand then choosing the
best ideas for your receiver.
Unsolicited Letters are those not asked by anyone
The ideas you include depend on the type of message you are sending, the
situation, and the cultural context.
1- Five Planning Steps (before writing)
D- Collect Your Idea
Determine whether you need specific facts, figures, quotations,
etc. (to support your points).
Know your companys details (policies, procedures, and product details)
if message requires them.
Check your data (names of individuals, dates, addresses, and statistics).
Any need to enclose a brochure, table, picture, or product sample.
Be sure to collect enough data to support your ideas; check names, dates,
addresses, and statistics for precision.
1- Five Planning Steps (before writing)
E- Organize Your Message
Outline your message (mentally or on paper).
Order of presenting ideas is as important as the ides themselves.
Disorganized/rambling messages seem careless, confusing, and unimportant.
However, different approaches are necessary for different cultures.
Direct style is often preferred by US and European business people,
Indirect plan is often more effective in South American, middle eastern, and Asian
countries.


Choose Organizational Plan after having worked through initial planning steps.
Organizing your material before writing your first draft can prevent
rambling (confused) and unclear messages.
2- Basic Organizational Plans
Organizational Plans (Letters / Memos)
1. Direct-request,

2. Good news,

3. Bad-news, or

4. Persuasive-request

Your Own Judgment (consider your audiences views, conventions,
knowledge, and culture)
Direct Approach (begins with main idea)
Indirect Approach (states the main idea later)
2- Basic Organizational Plans (cont)
A- Direct (Deductive) Approach
Used when:
o reader/listener favorable/neutral reaction to message
o request requires less persuasion
o to grant requests, announce favorable/neutral information,
and exchange routine information

o The direct-request/good-news plans have three basic parts:

1. Begin with the main idea or best news
2. Then all necessary explanatory details in one or several paragraphs
3. End with an appropriate, friendly closing

Example: Direct Request Plan
Dear Sir,

We intend to purchase a new office copier. We would like to consider a BHP
copier and wonder if you have a model that would suit our needs.
Our office is small, and a copier would generally be used by only three
secretaries. We run approximately 3,000 copies a month and prefer a machine that
uses regular paper. We rarely need to run off more than 25 copies at any one time.
We would also like to know about your warranty and repair service. We hope
to hear from you soon.

Yours truly,
A request to the seller and requires no special tact or persuasion.
Example: Direct Request Plan
Gentlemen,

Please repair or replace my calculator watch, Model C863, and send it
to me at the address above.
After six months of use, the musical alarm has quit working.
Enclosed is my watch, a copy of the sales receipt showing the date of
purchase and your warranty which guarantees material and workmanship for
one year.

Yours Sincerely,
Supplying Detailed Information on a Service though the writer is complaining, the letter
has a direct-request plan.
Example: Good News Plan
Dear Mr. Gul,

In a courier service, I am sending you six copies of our catalog, Prime
Gifts. I am very pleased that you want to circulate it.
The catalog explains everything but I do want to say that for quantities
of 20 or more gifts we offer an attractive discount.

Please let me know if I can be of help in other ways.
An example having main idea in the beginning
2- Basic Organizational Plans (cont)
B- Indirect (Inductive) Approach
Used when:
o readers/listeners react negatively to message
o Then:
1. dont present the main idea in the first paragraph.
2. begin with a buffer (a relevant pleasant, neutral, or receiver-benefit
statement); and
3. then give an explanation before introducing the idea.
This take a little longer and difficult to present and you
may face resistance.
Goodwill and reader benefits are essential to these
messages.
Example: Indirect Approach
Dear Mr. Hassan,

You are right to expect high-quality merchandise from The Automatic Door
Company; we try to give you the best for your money and to stand behind our
products when they fail as a result of defects in material and workmanship, as our
warranty states.
We appreciate your sending the door opener to us for analysis. It appears that
the opener has got wet. Excess moisture over a period of time causes this defect.
Our service manager estimates that cleaning and repairing your door opener would
cost Rs. 500.
Since your door opener is several years old, you may want to consider buying a
new one. We have made many improvements to our door openers since yours was
manufactured, including a sealed circuit board that would prevent the possibility of
damage from moisture. A new door opener, which costs Rs. 3500.00 postpaid,
should give you even longer service than your old one did.
Please let us know whether you want us to repair or replace your opener.

Yours sincerely,
Example: Persuasive Request Plan
THE FIRST PUNJAB LIBRARY
Muslim Town Lahore
Dear Friend,

The most comprehensive selection of Quaid-e-Azams speeches, public writings, and
private letters ever published!
YOURS FOR JUST RS.500
Quaid-e-Azam was not only the founder of Pakistan but also a great orator.
Here are all of Quaids speeches, from the early days in his politics, including all his
addresses to the students of different institutions. It includes Quaids personal and political
correspondence.
Above all, here is Quaids absolutely distinctive language, resonant with dignity, wit,
and the uniquely patriot flavour.
Write today for your copy of the book. Youll be awfully glad.

Sincerely yours,
1. Attention 2. Interest 3. Desire 4. Action
3- Beginnings and Endings
First impressions are lasting
We remember best what we read last
Whenever possible, place the main favorable
ideas at the beginning and ending of a message
(also applies to paragraphs).
3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs
It determines whether the reader:
continues reading,
puts the message aside for later, or
discards it.
3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs (Cont)
1. Choose Openings Appropriate for Message Purpose
and Reader
a) Main Idea or Good-News Subject First:

main idea in the first paragraph easy to understand by reader
When the information is favorable/neutral, direct request, and good-
news messages. E.g.

Request: So that your CD funds, which have matured, can be transferred to
your PLS account as you have request, please return to us the following:
Good news: Enclosed is a cash refund for the defective wristwatch that you
sent to us recently.


3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs (Cont)
1. Choose Openings Appropriate for Message Purpose
and Reader (cont)
b) Buffer First For Bad-news Messages:
When bad news for the reader, begin with a buffer (a statement that
you can agree on which sets a neutral tone). E.g.
Poor: Your application to the [name] Executive Skills Program has been rejected
due to the following reasons:

Good: Because of the large number of application we received for our [name]
Executive Skills Program, we have had to turn away many persons. We
obviously underestimated the interest in our current subject. A new program
is already being planned, and we will send you information as soon as its
available.


3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs (Cont)
1. Choose Openings Appropriate for Message Purpose
and Reader (cont)
c) Attention-Getting Statements First:
In a persuasive request (sales letter), begin with relevant
statements to the recipient to read further, e.g.
Did you know that up to half of all lower back pain is caused by sleeping
on a too-soft mattress? In addition, back pain due to other causes can be
made worse by sleeping on a poor mattress. We remedy that. Our
company has developed a new mattress and foundation that provides the
kind of support your back needs!


3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs (Cont)
2. Make the Opening Considerate, Courteous, Concise,
Clear
Immediately get your reader into the opening thought (irrespective of
your message nature).
Emphasize the reader, and focus on positive aspects
Use courteous language, and avoid anything that might anger
Keep the first paragraph relatively short (5 lines or less)
Use conversational language in clear and concise sentences
Avoid unnecessary repetition
3- Beginnings and Endings
i) Opening Paragraphs (Cont)
3. Check for Completeness:

Avoid opening with an incomplete sentence like:
Reference your letter [or per your letter] of May 9, concerning Helen Smiths request for a
transfer of funds.

Subordinate the date of the letter you are answering e.g.

Poor: As per your recent letter, we have shipped your order today by Federal Express.
Good: Three bolts of Thai silk, which you ordered on July 6, were shipped to you
today by DHL.
3- Beginnings and Endings (cont)
ii) Closing Paragraphs
They more likely to motivate the reader to act as requested if it is
appropriately strong, clear, and polite.
It is an opportunity to bring final focus on the desired action and
leave a sense of goodwill
It should reinforce the central purpose of your message.
3- Beginnings and Endings (Cont)
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
1- Make Action Request Clear & Complete (with 5 Ws
and the H):
Should the reader phone your office
for an appointment?
Sign a card or a document?
Return it?
If so, to whom?
Come to your office in person?
Send your certain information or
payment?
What & Who?
3- Beginnings and Endings (Cont)
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
1- Make Action Request Clear & Complete (with 5 Ws
and the H):
Include Phone number + extension
(if you want him/her to call you)
Enclose a form (card, order, blank,
or questionnaire) if you want the
reader to furnish something
Give complete instructions
regarding how & where (if you dont
include a form and envelope)
State your office hours and location
if you want the reader to come to you
in person (have a parking lot?
Where?)
How & Where? Easy Action
3- Beginnings and Endings (Cont)
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
1- Make Action Request Clear & Complete (with 5 Ws
and the H):
Name the date (and the exact
hour, if relevant) whenever you
need the reply by a certain time.
Tactfully state the reason you
need it then
When appropriate, mention
some benefits the reader will
gain by prompt action.
When & Why? Dated Action
In the following example, notice how the vague action request is empowered by
inserting some or all of the Ws and the H.
3- Beginnings and Endings
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
1- Make Action Request Clear and Complete with five
Ws and the H: (cont)


Vague: I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter.


Better: So that we can take appropriate arrangements for your visit,
please call me at 555-4567, ext. 11, before Friday, November
16, anytime between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M.
3- Beginnings and Endings
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
2- End on a Positive, Courteous Thought:
i) Include Any Apologies and Negatives Before Last Paragraph e.g.
Negative: Im sorry we cant be more encouraging at this time.
Positive: We wish you success in your search for a position.
ii) Be friendly:
Good: If there is any further way we can assist you, please call (222) 555-4657 Monday
through Friday between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M.
Poor: Send us your check today.
Good: To keep your credit in good standing, please send us your check for $595.95 today.
3- Beginnings and Endings
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
2- End on a Positive, Courteous Thought: (cont)
iii) Show Appreciation:

Avoid: Thank you in advance for distributing these questionnaires to your employees.
Say: I will appreciate your distributing these questionnaires to your employees.

iv) Occasionally Add a Personal Note:

Give my regards to your lovely family. I enjoyed meeting them during the
October conference.
3- Beginnings and Endings
ii) Closing Paragraphs (Cont)
3- Keep Last Paragraph Concise and Correct:
Trim your last paragraph to five or fewer lines
Avoid unnecessary repetition.

Poor: Again, we thank you for your inquiry. Enclosed you will find
a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Hoping to hear from you
soon about your preference, I remain.
Better: Please fill out this form and return it in the enclosed
envelope by [date]. Then you can soon begin to enjoy the
comfort at..
4- Composing the Message
i) Drafting Your Message
No two people prepare their first drafts the same way.
Linear style moving form one point to the next
Circular style less fixed progression of points, data, and organization.
Important thing is to get on paper the information you want
included in your message.
The next step is to polish the document.
Revising and Editing

Your first draft is often the most difficult to write. The important
thing is to get the most important information in your message on
paper early.
4- Composing the Message
ii) Revising Your Message
Suggestions for revising:
Does your message accomplish its purpose?
Have you chosen the most effective organizational plan?
Are your points supported by adequate material?
Is your language complete, concise, considerate, concrete,
clear, courteous, and correct?
Have you used variety in sentence structure?
Revision means adding necessary and deleting unnecessary information,
making sure your points are adequately supported, checking your organizational
approach, and reviewing your language in terms of the 7 Cs.
4- Composing the Message
ii) Revising Your Message (Cont)
If you included unnecessary material, delete it.
If you need additional information, get it.
Change, move, add, and delete as much information as
you need to create an effective message.
The best writers confirm again and again that revision is
the key to good writing.

4- Composing the Message
iii) Editing and Proofreading Your Message
Editing message involves checking all paragraphs for good
topic sentences, examining sentences for sound structure, and
watching language for correct grammar, spelling, and
punctuation.
When you have edited your message and found it to be effective,
you are ready for final proofreading.
Sometimes you will proofread your document several times to be
sure that you have not missed any errors.
Even minor mistakes, such as typographical errors, can reduce
the effectiveness of your message and undermine your
credibility.

4- Composing the Message
iii) Editing and Proofreading Your Message
Those writing in a second language can take one more
step in proofreading material.
Read your written material aloud.
Most people who speak a second language are more
competent in oral communication in their second
language than in written, which is why an American
writing in German will more easily sense through feel of
the language.