Intro:

Choose better words for first sentence (remove notorious)

Clarify third sentence to make it less vague
Introduce Conan Doyle earlier
Better transition between sentences
1st body paragraph:
Cut out repetition at end of paragraph and replace with deeper analysis
2nd body paragraph:
Cut out unnecessary details and repetition in scene introduction
Use more specific cinematic terms
Be specific in analysis (i.e. better descriptive words for things such as the
music)
3rd body paragraph:
Be less repetitive throughout paragraph and provide more analysis
instead
Change explanation from Holmes' forehead kiss
Clarify scenes more with better context
Cut out repetition in scene description
Conclusion:
Include possibly a connection between Irene Adler and the attempt to
appeal more to female audiences by giving them a character they can
relate to more
Overall:
Read my entire essay out loud to edit sentences that sound awkward and
replace words for a more sophisticated diction/grammar and other small
revisions
Use proper MLA format when citing sources within the paragraph (these
are crossed out)
Change character names to last names
Remove BBC from reference