Tony Ayres expresses this movingly in Silence, where he contrasts his fate to cross a threshold

from one culture and class into another (p.238) with the life of a waitress, the overworked first
daughter of a traditional Chinese family.
His decision to eat in the restaurant is prompted by nostalgia for his childhood but he judges its
shabbiness with the eye of an outsider.
Still, with an insiders understanding of nuances of difference in status, he knows immediately that
the restaurant boys are probably from Hong Kong, possibly illegal (p.235).
However, Ayres leaves the restaurant to return to his real life with his Anglo partner, aware that the
gap between himself and the waitress is immense.
Their cultures are separate, two frequencies out of alignment (p.238), and with a tone of regret he
concludes that there is no going back (p.238).
This story suggests that an independent identity sometimes comes at a profound cost, such as the
loss of ones birth culture.