MTTLC

ALEXANDRA TOMSA
AN II SEMESTRUL II

ANA BLANDIANA - FRAGMENTARIUM

1. I found, as a mark in the volume of short stories I was reading last week - a paper on
which I had drawn the sketch of an ideal house, a detailed sketch indicating the rooms, even the
furniture. I remembered the precise moment when I had drawn it, when I had remembered about
it like a dream you have in your sleep without any further anticipation. The ideal house where I
would like to live, a pretty modest one otherwise, with two rooms reaching into a hollway and at
the end of it having a greenhouse. I drew it because I had seen it clearly, I know how it looks like
and where it is positioned on the town map as if it would exist and would be expecting me.
Strange thing though, the matter of the house didn't obsess me at that moment without wanting it
without invoking it. Then, just as sudden as irrational I forgot about it and now I look with
wonderment at the sketch of a dream, like a message I am not able to descipher.
2. As a child I didn't fear wolves, lions or other beasts, because I used to fancy meeting
them, I would pet their fur and tame them: but I was horrified by earthworms, lizards and snakes
because I felt I wouldn't be able to caress them, This is a test of fear -the more subjective, the
more rational that still applies in what concerns me.
3. The fish I had left the night before in the basin, cast away one upon the other, serried,
stashed, were found cleverly arranged in the morning, so as they would fit best, so that each of
them would have as much space as they could. Here is a rigor that a group of people stashed in a
room would have never attained - one of them would have definitely proved stronger in order to
demand more room that he should have been allowed.
4. The true virtue is to discover the unbeautiful parts of a world that allows you to conquer
it. The impersonal disgust that lingers in you, not as a result of rejection or lack of success, to
observe with great triumph the grins of admiration of those who hail you.
5. The hardness and power are closer to death than life. The strength of live lies in its
frailty and deformability. If you take a stalk you will see how easily it is bent when it is green
and how rigid and hard it becomes once sun-dried. In the sense of creation, life is just
readjustment and understanding; with the exception of hope, death is just objection and denial.

6. A woman's feminity resembles the jewelleries so expensive that they are being confined in
safe deposits in banks, while flawless replicas are worn in their names all around the world,
replacing them perfectly and giving rise to the idea of vainly originals.

7. Temples are more appealing in ruins because, being rendered to nature, they show not only
their weakness of immortality but also their manlike power of dying little by little.

8. Due to a sort of shame I've always done the best I could not to reveal from my appearance and
way of acting that I was a poet. Due to a sort of shame and aversion towards those who weren't
but were doing their best to make it look like they actually were.

9. It's not the cause of misery that's important, but it's intensity. You may suffer due to an affront
as much as others would suffer from a disaster. In a different manner, you often suffer as soon as
the object and even the cause of misery become indifferent to you.

10. The road was very slippery and I still managed to plod almost natural, tramping without
hesitation. Until the very moment when losing my balance for a second I was overcome by fear.
From that moment on I was unable to advance a single meter, I was paralyzed and fell down at
the slightest move. My fancied inability had turned into something real. What happends to me
happends to the bullfighters who are killed only after the fear of being killed themselves
overcomes them. The imaginary becomes real and uncontrollable.









ANA BLANDIANA - FRAGMENTARIUM


1. Am gasit - pusa ca semn la volumul de povestiri pe care il citeam saptamana trecuta - o
hartie pe care facusem planul unei case utopice, plan detaliat, cu indicatia camerelor si chiar a
mobilelelor. Mi-am amintit momentul exact cand am desenat-o, cand mi-a revenit in minte - asa
cum vine in somn un vis, fara ca nimic sa-l fi pregatit - casa ideala in care mi-ar placea sa
locuiesc, o casa destul de modesta de altfel, cu doua camere dand intr-un hol terminat printr-o
sera. Am desenat-o pentru ca am vazut-o cu precizie, stiu cum arata si unde se afla pe harta
orasului ca si cum ar exista si m-ar astepta. Ciudat e insa faptul ca in acel moment problema
casei nu ma obseda, ca ea a aparut fara s-o chem, fara sa mi-o doresc. Apoi, la fel de brusc si
inexplicabil, am uitat-o, iar acum tin in mana si privesc cu uimire, ca pe un mesaj pe care nu
reusesc sa-l descifrez, schema unui vis.
2. In copilarie nu-mi era frica de lupi, lei si alte fiare, pentru ca imi imaginam ca,
intalnindu-i, i-as mangaia pe blana si i-as imblanzi: dar mi-era groaza de rame, soparle si serpi,
pentru ca simteam ca n-as fi fost in stare sa-i mangai. Iata un criteriu al spaimei - pe cat de
subiectiv, pe atat de logic - care, in ceea ce ma priveste se mai afla inca in vigoare.

3. Pestii lasati seara in ligheanul cu apa, inghesuiti, aruncati unul peste altul, i-am gasit
dimineata aranjati inteligent in asa fel incat sa incapa cat mai bine, sa aiba fiecare cat mai mult
spatiu, atat cat se poate si cat ii este suficient. Iata o rigoare pe care un grup de oameni
ingramaditi intr-o odaie nu ar fi atins-o: s-ar fi gasit cu siguranta unul mai puternic care sa ceara
mai mult decat i se cuvine.
4. Adevaratul merit este sa descoperi partile urate ale unei lumii care se lasa cucerita de
tine; dezgustul dezinteresat existand in sine, nu ca urmare a faptului ca ai fost respins sau ca nu
ai avut succes; sa observi in plin trimuf grimasele de admiratie ale celor ce te aclama...

5. Duritatea si forta sunt mai aproape de moarte decat de viata. Puterea vietii sta in
fragilitatea si plasticitatea sa. Luati o tulpina si veti vedea cat de usor se indoaie si se rupe cand e
verde si cat de rigida si uscata devine odata uscata; in vederea creatiei viata e numai adaptare si
intelegere; in afara sperantei, moartea e doar impotrivire si refuz.

6 .Feminitatea unei femei seamana acelor bijuterii atata de scumpe, incat sunt tinute in
seifurile bancilor, in timp ce copii impecabile sunt purtate in numele lor in lume, inlocuindu-le
perfect si nascand chiar idea inutilitatii originalelor.

7. Ruine, templele sunt mai frumoase, pentru ca, redate naturii, ele isi canta nu numai
slabiciunea de a fi nemuritoare, ci si puterea lor omeneasca de a muri cate putin.

8. Dintr-un fel de pudoare am facut intotdeauna tot ce am putut pentru a nu se vedea din
infatisarea si din felul de a ma purta ca sunt poet. Din pudoare si din onoarea fata de cei ce,
nefiind, faceau tot ce puteau ca sa para ca sunt.

9. Importanta nu e cauza suferintei ci intensitatea ei. Poti sa suferi pentru o jignire cat ar
suferi altul pentru un cataclism. De atlfel, suferi de multe ori dupa ce ti-a devenit indiferent
obiectul si chiar cauza suferintei.

10. Drumul era foarte alunecos si totusi reuseam sa inaintez aproape normal, punand piciorul
hotarat fara sa sovai. Asta pana in clipa in care, pierzandu-mi pentru o fractiune de secunda
echilibrul, m-a cuprins frica. Din acel moment am fost incapabila sa mai inaintez un metru, eram
paralizata, cadeam la cea mai mica miscare. Incapacitatea mea imaginata se transformase intr-
una reala. Mi se intampla ce li se intanpla toreadorilor care sunt omorati numai dupa ce ii
cuprinde teama ca vor fi omorati. Subiectivul trece in obiectiv si nu mai poate fi tinut in frau.