1 , Santiago chanted. He was a fourteen year old boy, sweating profusely in the Mexican desert. This was because he was decked out in full altar boy regalia. His starchy cassock stuck to the back of his neck, which was doused in sweat.
He was the youngest of 6 brothers; and since no other brother had volunteered for the priesthood, the vocation fell onto him. It was a matter of village honor that every family produces at least one priest.
Come Santiago, those candles arent going to light themselves, said Father Rogelio. Mass had ended but Santiago still had to light the legion of candles in the sanctuary. Now tomorrow is the day! The priests from the seminary will be coming to pick you up, my son. You must be very excited.
Yes sir, replied a very nervous Santiago. He was enrolled in a program that combined secondary school with seminary. It was wildly popular with families in the deserts villages who were looking for a place to dump their excess youth.
The next day, Santiago was at the small adobe church at dawn; the seminarians had just arrived. He was eager to meet them; his whole life had been spent in
1 Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. preparation for this moment. He slowly pulled on the large wooden front door. As he walked in he was greeted by a large man, Hey there boy! You know where they keep the rest of the sacrificial wine? In the sacristy, by the altar cloths, answered Santiago. But you shouldnt need any; there is no mass scheduled for today, sir.
God helps those who help themselves, my boy, said the fat priest as he stormed into the sacristy.
Easy on that stuff, Herman. We have a long day on the road ahead of us, said a tall man with an authoritative stare. He placed his stare on Santiago. Ah you must be the boy, pity its only one. We used to get so many recruits from this village. He beckoned Santiago to come closer and started to inspect the boy. Well, well, well. Look at you, you are gonna make a fine priest, a very fine priest.
Were outta wine, lets get outta here, slurred father Herman.
Alright, take some cash from the lockbox and lets go, said the tall priest. Oh how rude of me, allow me to introduce myself, I am father Oscar. And, this drunkard is father Herman. Santiago nodded his head in respectful acknowledgement. Well, I guess that makes you Santiago De la Vega. Hurry now Santitos, we got a long six hour drive to Ciudad Victoria ahead of us.
The men and the boy walked to the nearby bus stop where they piled into a large bus with no more than five other riders. Father Herman was seated at the front of the bus where he was chatting with the driver while taking sips from a bottle of cheap cerveza wrapped in a brown paper bag.
Santiago took a seat in the back near the bathroom. He wanted his own row so that he could stretch out and nap during the trip. He was the only one in that section of the bus, so it would be nice and quiet for his nap. While he was sleeping, father Oscar woke him by placing his hand on Santiagos knee.
Wake up my little priest! said father Oscar. We are coming up to a rest stop for lunch. I was hoping you would join me.
The bus pulled into a sleepy rest stop with a tiny taco trailer. Santiago and Father Oscar stepped outside. Lets go wash up before lunch, suggested Father Oscar.
The two entered the dingy bathroom. Santiago noticed that the room was dark and the smell of urine permeated the air.
Santiago, could you come here for a moment, beckoned Father Oscar.
A confused Santiago approached the stall occupied by the priest. He felt uncomfortable but did not want to make a bad first impression in front of a representative of the seminary.
Yes, father. Is everything ok?
Yes, yes, my boy. I am fine. Its just that...
Santiago quickly stopped listening to Father Oscars voice. This was because Father Oscar was standing with his penis clearly exposed. A shocked Santiago could not believe that the priest was attempting to carry on a conversation in such a state. Nervous and embarrassed, Santiago quickly turned around to exit the stall. He was grabbed from behind by the much stronger Father Oscar. Santiago was stunned. He couldnt make a noise. Father Oscar had thrown Santiago to the ground. His face was nearly in the toilets putrid water when he felt his pants being undone.
Suddenly, there was a loud crack and the sound of broken glass. Get back on the bus! screamed Father Herman. He had just clocked Father Oscar over the head with his cheap cerveza bottle. Santiago did not have to be told twice; he darted into the bus.
Father Herman soon followed. He shouted at the bus driver to take off. The confused driver put the bus in gear and left the rest stop. As they drove away, Santiago could see a pale figure in a black cassock yelling in the distance.
Santiago was distraught. All his life he had been told to trust priests, they were after all men of God. He began to cry tears of anger. It was a trait he inherited from his mother. He hated the fact that when he was the most angry he appeared the most vulnerable.
You ok little guy? asked Father Herman.
Santiago remained quiet and did not look in the direction of the priest. He quickly turned his head to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks.
Here, take a swig of this, said Father Herman as he handed Santiago a small bottle of tequila. I know what you are thinking unfortunately I was in the same boat at your age. You are going to a place, the seminary, where that sort of thing is going to happen. Its a dirty little secret of the diocese. One that no one cares to talk about.
You mean, that happens at the seminary?! I thought priests were supposed to be above that kind of temptation.
Santiago, there is something you need to know. Priests are just regular people, sometimes they are worse than regular people. Just because we wear funny clothes and mutter strange incantations, does not mean we are without sin. As you saw, even the most base desires can be found in holy men.
I spent my entire life not thinking about sex, striving to stay pure. I wouldnt even look at girls. And for what!? To remain chaste just so some sick bastard can take my virginity in a bathroom!
Thats what I want to talk to you about. If you are like most boys, you had this whole priesthood thing forced on you. Look, the seminary is no place for someone like you; you will be targeted by people you think you can trust. If I were you, I would think long and hard about enrolling.
Well what else am I supposed to do? sniffled Santiago.
Live! Fall in love! Get drunk! Have sex with a consenting adult! By God man, there is more to this world than just being a priest. said Father Herman in between sips of tequila.
My family expects great things from me. I cant be selfish and commit sins like that.
Listen, what Father Oscar tried to do to you in that bathroom, now that was a sin. Experiencing life, making love, making merry with drink, these are virtues. As for your family, they will understand. All you have to do is buy them off.
What!? But I have no money, no job, nothing!
Here, take this, said Father Herman as he handed over the cash he had taken from the village church. Take the next bus to Juarez, from there, find a decent coyote and get your ass to America. You know they pay $7.25 an hour over there! You just send some of that money to your family and they will understand. You will be as good as a saint to them.
Santiago was confused. All his life he was built for becoming a priest, for not thinking about himself. Now, he was being urged to pursue his own destiny. A destiny he never dreamed of. He was terrified, but excited.
At the next stop, Santiago bid Father Oscar goodbye. He was given the phone number of a prominent coyote and was told to go with God. Santiago embraced the fat priest and went on his way.
Several years later, Santiago was a wealthy man. He had hitchhiked his way from El Paso to Victoria. He worked odd jobs along the way. He washed dishes at Chinese buffets, mowed lawns, and even picked strawberries in a place called Poteet.
His family was disappointed at his decision not to enroll in the seminary, but their attitudes changed once the money started coming in the mail. Santiagos family soon had luxuries that were unheard of in the village. There was a toilet with running water, a big screen TV, and a large herd of goats. Over time they had become one of the richest families in the entire village. They often bragged about Santiago to anyone who would listen.
One day, Santiago found his true vocation, gentlemens clubs. He had spent his life confused and frustrated when it came to his sexuality. Now liberated from his staunch Catholic upbringing, he was eager to experience the pleasures of the flesh first hand.
A man he met while bussing tables in a place called Victoria took him to a strip club for the first time. Santiago was overwhelmed to say the least. Here were all of these beautiful womennaked. Not only that, but they were actually giving him attention. He knew it was all an act but he didnt care. The emotions and physical stimulation he received were real enough for him.
Soon, he was spending all of his off time at the strip club. He never paid for dances, as he was quick to send any disposable income to his family in Mexico, but he would enjoy sitting back and watching the dancers perform on the stage. He was a regular for several weeks, then, he hit the lotto. A man named Tom was screaming at some guy for selling bars to the dancers. Tom kicked this drug dealer out and threatened to call the police. This made Santiago nervous, as his immigration status was not what you would call legal.
Santiago overheard Tom talking out loud to himself. Why is every bar back I hire either a damned thief or a dealer!?
Santiago saw an opportunity and he took it. Excuse me sir but I believe I can be of service. My name is Santiago and I can be the best bar back youve ever seen.
A desperate Tom hired him on the spot. He had gotten to know Santiago during the summer when the two would watch world cup games together before the customers demanded that they change the channel to American sports.
Santiago found himself getting paid to be in the Garden of Eden. He couldnt be happier and often thanked God for his luck.