The World Wrestling Federation Never Really Existed
By Rick Sheridan, 2014
Reality and fantasy are constantly blurred at WWF matches. Baseball bats and flame throwers make head locks look a little old fashioned. issin! link creationism shines from these "#foot $oliath%s. Se& !roans flow from o'er!rown schoolyard bullies. (hrobbin! )lastic 'owel sounds emanate from ti!er clad !irl friends. (ribal banners are trium)hantly wa'ed from *arwinian cul#de#sacs. Ritual sacrifices consi!n losers into cannibal sou). +ot a dro) of blood is s)illed as hand !renades e&)lode on sta!e. ob )sycholo!y threatens to forcefully e'ict any unbelie'ers. ,udience lau!hter de'astates these wrestlers more than broken chair attacks. -ail cells em)ty themsel'es of articulate !rade B wrestle actors. (estosterone and steroid laced hot do!s arri'e in fla! dra)ed wra))ers.