37PlaysofShakespeare

Ladiesandgentlemen,Histeria!proudlypresentstheplotsof
allthirtysevenplaysbyWilliamShakespeare!
Hamlet'srealfatheriskilledbyhisbrother,
Whonowbecomeskingandthenmarrieshismother,
Itendsupwitheveryonekillingeachother,
Andthatisthestorythat'stoldbythebard!
Heynanninannina,tralala,falalalalalala!
KingHenryVisaplayaboutwar,
AndsoisKingJohnandKingHenryIV,
WhileFalstafflaughed,andfellonthefloor,
SoHenryVIwentbacktothegore.
KingLear,Shakespeare's
Tragicalrulerwhocastsouthisdaughter,
Thestoryissad,'causethenhefeelsbad,
Andthenhegoesmad,andbothofthemdie!
Heynanninannina,tralala,falalalalalala!
AtRomeoandJuliet,everyonecries,
AtTitusAndronicuseveryonedies,
Don'tyoujustlovetheseShakespeareanguys?
Aahhaahahaahahaaa!!!
Yougotothetheatreandpayallthatmoney,
Toseealltheseactorswhodressreallyfunny,
Yousaytoyourdate,"Areyougettingthis,honey?
'CauseI'mreallylost,soexplainittome!"
Heynanninannina,tralala,falalalalalala!
MacBethisaguywhoisreallyambitious
Andthat'swhythekingsleepswiththefishes
Thenhekillsothers,it'sreallyquitevicious,
Untilintheend,hegetsstabbedintheduff!
Oh,nono!
ByMacDuff!
Better!
Hewrotecomicromanceswithlaughteranddances,
Whereeveryonepranceswhiletakingtheirchances
Withlove,love,love,love,love!
[makegaggingnoises]
LikeTheComedyofErrorsandPericlestoo,
ThenMeasureforMeasureandTamingtheShrew,

TwoGentsfromVeronaandthenMuchAdoAboutNothing
Thenhe'dwriteTheTempestandTwelfthNight,
TheMerryWivesofWindsor,AsYouLikeIt,andCymbaline,
Love'sLaboursLost,AWinter'sTale,
AndalsoMidsummerNight'sDream
ThenTheMerchantofVeniceadebtisentangled,
AsCoriolanuswheresoldiersgetmangled,
Othello'sthefellowwhosewifeendsupstrangled,
Andthatisthestorythat'stoldbythebard!
Heynanninannina,tralala,falalalalalala!
TroilusandCressida,nowtherewasapair,
Theywereinloveandshehadanaffair,
It'snotagreatplaysowereallydon'tcare,
Heynanninannina,tralala!
KingRichardII'saguythatwentdumb,
KingRichardIIIistheguywiththehump,
TimonofAthens,hewasachump,
'Causeallofhismoneywaslent,
Nowit'sspent,
Andhecan't,
Paytherent,
Andhehastogoliveinatent!
JuliusCaesar'saboutanattack,
Allofhisfriendsputaknifeinhisback,
Andthenagreatplaythatwouldcomeafterthat,
IsAnthonyandCleopat...
Tralala,tralala,tralalalalalalalala!
KingHenryVIIIhassixdifferentwives,
He'sfaithfultoeach'tilthenextonearrives,
Mostofthemendeduplosingtheirlives,
Oneminutethey'rewedded,andthenthey'rebeheaded,
It'ssomethingthatlaterhekindaregretted,
ButShakespeare'splaysaretheplacestobe,
Butviolenceandkillingandmurderyousee,
Youreallycan'tshowitonchildrens'TV,
Butthatisthestory,
Thoughit'sbloodyandgory,
Yes,thatisthestorythatistoldbythebard!
All'swellthatendswell!