ARTS2065 Assignment 2 Script Doctoring

Cutlery
By Thijs Rozeboom


Introduction


The scripts is presented with background information and a thorough
explanation of the significance of the story. The story is about a high school
student that lives in an oppressive dysfunctional family with a bullying
stepfather and an alcoholic mother who uses her as a housemaid. Her only
escape is to grow up and get married.


Context


The premise is set in the early 1950s suburban (Auburn) Sydney Australia. The
storys premise was quite unique considering the stereotypical societal nature.
The story provides an alternative possibility of what could potentially happen
behind the closed doors. The real life inspiration was certainly quite refreshing
to the context behind the script. As the script is re-appropriated, the theme feels
contemporary in lightly touching upon adulthood and their issues. The
dramatization of the script certainly adds an engaging element into the script
and progression to the storyline.


Character Execution


The script due to its brevity requirement focuses on what is presumed
significant points within character introduction and development through their
dialogue and actions. However, the execution of this becomes an issue.

Theres an effective introduction of the supporting characters. The dialogues and
behavior splices was effective in conveying the point of story development
revolving around Norma (Protagonist) for example, the mothers careless actions
and sarcasm and the character Bruce emphasis on his extreme behaviours and
intimidation.

The script does focus on Norma, however the supporting characters was
portrayed quite comically. I see the point of the remote interaction between the
characters to emphasise the subjugation on Norma, however, this fails to connect
with Audience conception and significance of the characters relationship with
Norma.

Examples like the Dinner scene, Kitchen scene and the Dining room are the only
interactions she received from the parents. I understand the intimidation she
received, but it rather strays from Normas character voice and development due
to her lack of defiance response emotionally (I.e. Anger, self-assurance, tears,
etc.) we only see her being nervous about these situations except at the end of
the script. Ill explain further in the following.

The strong character introduction of Norma was achieved with her actions.
Youve established her positioning so well within her world. However, the
sudden leap of character status in which after the one ambiguous encounter with
the church scenes created a disjuncture and a little confusion within her story.
This may potentially create some disbelief and unsatisfactory understanding of
the story.

The Lack of exposition of her intention prior to the church encounter might be an
issue, your intention as you said in the description was for audience to reflect
upon the situation, asking themselves how they would feel if they were in that
situation. Perhaps this issue is forgivable and I do see where the surprise
elements can come into place. However the sudden character shift seems to
create the opposite effect, instead of connecting with the audience. In
combination with vague exposition of Normas lack of defiance response (to
show her character journey on the script), it disconnects them from engaging
them with the situation.

Suggestion: Perhaps Norma should show a bit more reaction, beyond getting
nervous, to show a bit of the mental/character journey of the script. To make
sense of progression and resolve the tension of character power shift created at
the end instead of a leap.


Structure


Overall, brevity time limit seems to be the main challenge here. The script would
be much better if it can be extended to 10 pages to hash out more of the
character journey. The script didnt show much of heros journey, rather splice
of critical moments in the journey which is appropriate for this short length
requirements.

However, in relation to the character development issues and the examples
above, the script structure seems to be an extended version of character. The
extended time Norma doing house chores and cleaning cutleries are one
example, Bruce and his knife play and Mothers drunkenness are another
examples. In summary, the structure of this script is an establishment with a leap
of story shift at the end rather than a steady progression of a journey/state,
which wouldve created better connection to the audience.

Suggestion: Same suggestion as previous suggestion, there should be a focus on
the progression of emotions of Norma to indicate a progression