A Tale of Unfortunate Events.

Sometimes, I have to sit back and think, if I were Stevens wife how would I feel
having to come home to a dismayed husband? Having the trophy at your
fingertips, then to slip in front of it at the last hurdle. To be honest, if I was Alex
Gerrard, Id cheer him up with my good looks, however Im not married, nor a
model and Im sat in front of a television screen barking orders at an incoherent
bearded beauty 86 miles away.
We all love talking about last season, the delinquent Suarez, the butterflies after
a win and definitely seeing our favorite captain ever closer to a Premier League
medal. But what about all the slips and dips? Gerrard falling on his knees will
forever be etched in the embarrassing section of my memory, although its hard
not to cry about the bastion of last season, we need to sit down and talk because
without it, its going to get harder for us and Stevie.

None of us ever want Stevie to slip again, because to be fair I think I shed a tear
in my armchair, sipping my but thats not my business drink. Nonetheless its
what Gerrard is going to be remembered for last season, yes the goals and assists
were fantastic but it was a defining and heartbreaking part of the season and if I
could Tina Turner it back in time, Id put glue to Gerrards boots.
Lets get to the serious business. Ive self -titled the 0-2 defeat to Chelsea as
Slipping through Chelseas strikers. Quite reasonable for the factual approach?
Its not all the time we get to witness the emotions of the skipper, some say hes
miserable but the ladies know what to think. Read between the lines is what
they say, read between the lines of what? Mamadou Sakho wanting the ball
across his box? Fair to say it was both faults, and lets not mention what
happened next with Iago Aspas, however this was just the first slip up - making a
mountain out of a mole hill, little did he and we know that there would be more
heartache than getting run over by a bus driven by Jose Mourinho.
Norwich - my next game to look at in Gerrards position. He didnt have much to
do in this game; clearly as his new role pointed out he wasnt going to bomb
forward. Yes, we had an unbeaten run and yes it was Luis favorite team but it
was never going to be easy especially as a relegation battle was ongoing. It was
the game before the big three, we could all tell that Gerrard had spine tingles, but
he had to stay calm and composed as you dont really want to see the captain
running to every Liverpool fans door with were gonna win the league written
across his chest, well maybe we did, I did.

Our Stevie described the Norwich game as a cup final, instead of going post match on this one well go all pre match and pull some alluring quotes from the
man who wanted to win it all.
We have got to treat Norwich like we treated AC Milan in 2005. Thats just how
football is. We cant think about what color shirts Norwich are wearing (highly
doubt it would be Dolce and Gabbana) weve got to treat them like the best team
in the world.
It was after that game it all cascaded, all the excitement the poor lad must have
felt, especially with the young fans looking at him with hope in their big full eyes,
the bus parades with the vast pyros and the chants of the Kop.
You could rehearse this as the Titanic, no matter how hard you tried, the ship is
going to go down.
Although, Stevie didnt give up. Oh no, he became an invincible, firing answers
back at Geoff Shreeves like no tomorrow.
But before we hand the title over to Manchester City, hold your tears one more
game to go.
Sigh, heres Newcastle.
Although weve come to the end of the season, still I cant let go. Time to play the
Geordie boys, and le cries the title wasnt ours but we still needed a win, to end
the season on a high, to thank the fans (Yes I was there for Oldham it still
counts!!) Particular thanks to Daniel Aggers sort of scissor kick and Sturridge
who provided the goals.
I see Stevie as a talisman, the diamond in the rough. Weve seen him with that
thermal vest, kissing the camera and not again but I have to.. falling on his knees.
In conclusion he is the epitome of every womens dream and every young boy
that wants to play football.
Youll Never Walk Alone, Stevie G.