Discourse Community Essay

Patrick Guarente and Patrick McDonald

The discourse community that will be discussed in this essay is lacrosse. Lacrosse

Commented [W1]: This is not a creative title. Here is some

help: http://classroom.synonym.com/write-creative-title-essays2152.html
Commented [W2]: Put names, date, and section in the header.

Commented [W3]: Interesting opener?

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/business-career/publicspeaking/openings-and-closings

is a spring sport played on a field with two goals, every player has sticks with a net to
hold the ball and they run their butts up and down the field to get the ball in the goal. The

Commented [W4]: Not appropriate for an academic paper.

sport was originated by the American Indians, originally known as stick ball, and they
played over giant fields between villages. Goals were anything from 500 yards to 7 miles

Commented [W5]: Wow! Do you have sources for any of this?

Be sure to cite them so youre not plagiarizing.

apart. They played the game to settle disputes for land, food and women. Over time the
game changed, fields got smaller, rules were added, and it was played more for fun. Most
players start playing as high school freshmen and have to learn many different things
about the game. Not only the rules but the different kinds of slang players use, and skills
needed to be successful as a team.

Commented [W6]: Fragment:

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/sentencefragments

The biggest thing that new players struggle with is the slang all the players use.
Every part of equipment has a different name players use, certain kinds of checks have

Commented [W7]: Whats a check?

different names, and the way players also appear on the field is also very important.
Yard sale is one of the most common slang words, it is used to criticize a player that
isnt as skilled as others. It is when a player has his stick hit out of his hands and onto the

Commented [W8]: Run-on:

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/what-are-runon-sentences

ground, sometimes players pick up the dropped stick and throw it across the field. Other
words such as rusty gate, which is when a player reaches his stick across his back to hit
another players stick. The tilt a player had was also very essential. If it wasnt right they
just look wrong playing lacrosse and get made fun of by other players. Tilt is how much
your helmet comes over your eyes, it was originally started to keep the sun out of
players eyes but soon became a tradition everyone used.

Commented [W9]: Fragment

Commented [W10]: Define the word closer to the first use of
the term.
Commented [W11]: Tense shift:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/04/
Commented [W12]: Can you be more specific?
Commented [W13]: Run-on

Being on a lacrosse team is much different from being on any other team. The
first thing that makes it so different is the stick and the concept of throwing and catching
the ball in it. No other sport allows you to have something in your possession that matters
so much and gives players the option to express their personality in the stick. Although,

Commented [W14]: What about hockey?

in tennis and baseball, players have a racket or bat, it isnt too essential to how you play.
A lacrosse stick to a player would be almost the same as a golfer and his clubs. His own
items he always has a hold of that he has a personal connection to, and the longer they
play with it the better they become with it. Players also can customize their stick with

Commented [W15]: Antecedent is singular. Although

controversial, the usage of a plural pronoun to refer to a singular
nouns is not accepted in academic papers.
http://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Singular_t
hey.html

their own colors in it. Some players have their team colors on it to show their pride for
their school, or maybe some certain positions will all have their own colors to distinguish
them from the other positions. Different positions also have different sizes to their sticks.
Defensive positions have the six foot long ones so they could beat others to a bloody pulp
while attacking and mid fielders had short sticks to run around them.

Commented [W16]: Tense shift

Another factor that sets lacrosse apart from other sports is the running involved. It
is probably equivalent to the amount of running soccer players have. But coming from
only playing football to lacrosse is a major difference. While in practice the conditioning
was one of the most challenging things of all high school it was worth it. Constantly

Commented [W17]: Run on

being told to run around the mile long track with suicides at the end that would get your

Commented [W18]: Avoid 2nd person

mind set on committing suicide. But that is the reason people refer to lacrosse as the
fastest sport on two feet.
The point of being on a lacrosse team is to win the games, but there are main
things everyone on the team has to do to do that. The main way for being a successful
lacrosse team is chemistry between teammates. Players that know that when they scoop a

ball, another man is running open for the pass. And the player that is getting the pass

Commented [W19]: Avoid beginning sentences with and.

already knows where the next teammate is waiting for the next pass. When the players
have that trust with each other they dont have to worry about covering for each other and

Commented [W20]: Check out #3:

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

they can focus on the things they need to do to win the game. A team needs teammates
that like each other so that during game time there is nothing else on their minds except
pulling together to win the game.
The most exciting part of being on a lacrosse team is playing in the games. The
build up to them is one of the best/most nerve racking feelings in the world. The morning

Commented [W21]: You did a great job of describing playing

lacrosse, however, you seem to have strayed from the point of the
assignment which was to describe a discourse community. Use the 6
characteristics as your guide when rewriting this paper.
http://eng1020jankensfall2012.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/swales-6characteristics-of-discourse-communities/

of the game every player knows it and has his mind on it all day long. Throughout every
class theyre watching the clock waiting for the school day to end, ready for game time.
As they come to the game field and see the lights on and people in the stands all there to
watch them and everything that they have practiced for. The tension on the field during
the pre-game warm ups with one team on half and the other on the other half is unreal.
Watching and analyzing every player to pick up on who has skills to watch out for and
who doesnt. Before the game starts the starters stand in two lines facing each other in
silence as the referees tell them their names and main focus of that game. As the keepers
come through to acknowledge each other the other players cheer them on and then get to
their starting spots. Two face off men get down towards the ball, the ref calls down,
ready, face!, and the game is on.
In conclusion a lacrosse team is one of the most positive discourse communities
someone could be involved in. Through the friendships you make with your teammates,
to the utter hatred you have for the other team. A lacrosse team teaches young men

FYI: I stopped looking at grammar and other minor items here.

Since you will need to considerable rewriting to get this essay on
topic. I highly recommend visiting the writing resource center for
some help with this.

discipline, responsibility, and teamwork, which prepares them to be grown men in the
real world.