Communicating Loss

Melissa Cahue
He was a son, a brother, and a great friend; he was always trying to make other
people happy. Was? You wouldnt expect by the end of your first year in high school to
be burying one of your good friends. Having seen his lifeless body lying in a casket
doesnt make speaking about him in the past tense any easier.
The series of bad days started on August 1 , 2012, a day that had started off
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as any typical day for a person in high school. My biggest concern at the time had been
that summer was coming to an end. In a matter of twelve hours, everything quickly
changed in the form of a text message. Did you hear what happened? Jimmy died.
All it took was less than ten words to shift his existence from present to past. I read
this text over and over again; I could not grasp the idea that someone I had known for
years could be gone in an instant. They say there are five stages of grief, and I was
completely and utterly in denial. This was all new to me, no one I had known before had
ever passed away, so I was unsure of what to say or how to react. A million questions
ran through my head. This could not be real, right? How could this happen when I had
just spoken to him a few days before? I didnt want to believe anything I was hearing,
I was waiting for him to let me in on the joke.
My first instinct was to check every social media; Twitter, Facebook, and
Instagram were filled with posts talking about Jimmy. It was clear I wasnt the only
one who wasnt ready to accept the reality that he was gone. The entire night all I

could think about were memories I had shared with him, from him being there to talk
whenever I needed someone, to being in class with him and hearing him make beats
with his pencil every chance he got. I couldnt help the tears from falling down my
face, as this was all so terrifying to me.
On the night of August 1 , 2012, this tragic event had brought everyone who
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knew Jimmy, closer together. I felt a sense of relief being able to talk to people who
were all going through the same thing, and feeling the same way. Although, no matter
what, nothing was going to make things go back to normal. As days went on, I began to
get ready for his wake. At the age of fifteen you expect to be making fun high school
experiences; never would I have thought I would have to experience a friend of mine
dying. Staring at the open casket, it finally hit me. This person who I had grown up
with, was no longer here. Jimmy Porter had so much going for him and had his whole
life ahead of him, but that was all suddenly taken away from him. As of August 1 ,
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2012, he was no longer someone I would see walking down the halls, no longer someone
I could talk to when I was feeling down, and no longer someone just to experience high
school and growing up with. The text message I had received that broke the news to
me was something that would always be in the back of my mind. Jimmys death was a
reminder that anything could happen; therefore, everyday life should be lived to the
fullest, with no regrets.

As hard as I tried to hold on to that day, the days kept moving forward.
Minutes, hours, and days passed by, making him farther and farther away. Even
though, years had passed, Jimmy Porter would never be forgotten. In just a few years,
he impacted a great amount of people, and will forever be a part of us.