Luke Vonnahme

English 250 Section PA

Ms. Futhey
Assignment #5
11 December 2014

Reflection of Revision

Throughout the paper I realized that I made some minor errors but also some major errors
as well. I noticed that my thesis statement was a little vague, so I changed that so it made more
sense to flow with the paper. Small grammar and mechanical errors were changed in my
sentences up throughout the whole paper. This makes the reader to actually understand the
paragraphs to more extent.
Some portions I deleted were mainly the events I didnt need such as, a couple sentences
in the second paragraph. Those sentences didnt need to be in there because I thought they were
a run off sentence. It also made me believe that it could have possibly been a fragment anyway
so I just decided to remove a couple of those sentences. I changed up the beginnings of most
sentences because I felt like my sentences before werent flowing together. So I changed the
beginnings of the paragraphs so they would transition better than the original.
I feel like the places where I have the quotes in didnt need to be reformatted. Those
quotes are from the sources that I used so I felt like I didnt need to mess with those at all.
Overall I have changed my paper dramatically to make it better throughout the entire paper.