Revision Strategy for Literature Review

Introduction
Controlling Idea needs to be more clear, avoid three prong thesis
Body Paragraph 1
Rewrite topic sentence, in order to focus on the purpose of the lit
Introduce the scholar in a way that includes his opinion on the subject
Replace the quote with one that actually pertains to structure
Body Paragraph 2
Take out the sentence regarding the intellectual journey, focus on structure.
Though the detective genres structure can be seen as a game, make a connection with the
structure.
Body Paragraph 3
Find a different quote, as blanks pertain to the Watson character.
Find a better example, the use of blanks kind of pertains more to the Watson character and not
structure.
Body Paragraph 4
When mentioning about structure, take out transitory as it is irrelevant
Conclusion
Rewrite the sentence regarding the detective genre being complex, because it isnt true
Top 3 Priorities
Provide a better controlling idea/ thesis
Re-organize the essay in order to prevent confusion from readers(Topic sentences)
Correct Conclusion