Chivalry is a Funny Word

By Dennis Budde
The professor clapped his hands on conclusion of his final tangent, and sent us all off. Whatever
he said last was a mystery, as the shuffling and chattering had crescendoed rapidly into the happy
sounds of escape. As the exodus began, I found myself at the front of the herd. Suddenly, my senses
tingled, and behind me I noticed a girl that I hadn't seen before in class. She was walking alone, but joy
came off of her like light. She was smiling to herself, subtly with her mouth, but intensely with her
eyes, in an indescribably beautiful way.
I held the door, naturally, for the pretty girl with the smiling eyes.
She filed past with a smile, a thank you, and brief eye contact. But before I too could continue
on my way, I found myself holding the door for the masses, each person sliding through just quickly
enough that it would be rude for me not to extend once more my shift as doorman. As the last cow of
the herd came through, he gave the usual quiet acknowledgement of my kindness: a small nod of the
head as he mumbled, thanks.
It was my pleasure, I responded instinctively, but the guy was already conversing with a
friend, our small interaction forgotten.
In that moment, though, I realized that it really was my pleasure to hold the door for all those
people. The ounce of affection that that girl might now have for me the hint of a chance that the next
time I see her, she'll smilemade it all worth it.
I am no different from other men when I act in this way. One might say that I'm a bit of a
romantic (and that is true), but I used to believe that chivalrythe selfless kindness that marks a
gentlemanwas a tradition that evolved from actions such as these in days long past. However, I no
longer believe that. Chivalry wasn't born from man's desire to make girls like him, because chivalry is
exactly that; the common man's small, and often subconscious, everyday trials for affection. It isn't the
gentlemanly selflessness that I once considered it to be, but it is something very close to that.
We've all heard the occasional nay-sayer exclaim his distaste for the deterioration of class in
society: Chivalry is dead, it died with the gentlemen of previous decades! O tragedy! Must ye show
thy wretched face? I've never been one to seek out tragedy, but my younger self did once resign to this
idea of a personality apocalypse. I did my best to counter the behavior of the putrid world's majority by
holding every door and stuffing back every swear word in the presence of women. At least one good
man remains among the masses, I would think to myself.
In time I outgrew this pessimism (or egotism), but my respectful habits remained. I found that I

quite enjoyed the warm feeling I felt inside from the thank-you's, and especially from the occasional
angel that might toss me an enchanting smile. Nowadays, I still maintain these mannerisms and I
consider them to be components of a life as a respectful member of society. However, I do admit that
when an attractive girl is part of the equation, my motivations for appearing gentlemanly are doubled.
That small amount of extra motivation is what defines chivalry.
I come to this conclusion, but at the same time I find myself wondering what ever happened to
selflessness. Isn't chivalry such a wonderful thing because men are acting purely out of kindness, with
no other motives in mind? The answer isn't black and white. When the men of older times helped
women onto their horses, so that they could ride away forever, that was no more selfless than a man's
small actions today. I doubt I'll ever see that girl with the smiling eyes again; the reward is something
entirely internal. It's a matter of man feeding his inner hunger for romance with the tiniest teaspoon of
what he knows is false hope. Even though he holds onto it, and lets it warm his insides, his actions
were still something very close to selfless, because he doesn't realistically expect anything in return. If
chivalry were to be defined as truly and completely selfless, though, then it doesn't exist and never did.
If it's defined as a set of actions that are close to selfless, but that contain a small amount of romantic
motive, chivalry can be considered a real and immortal concept.
Days after I held the door for her, I saw the girl with the smiling eyes again. She looked at me
for a moment as we walked past each other, and clearly had no recollection of the moment we had
once shared. I didn't expect her to, and I wasn't disappointed. I'm still on her good side, even it's only in
her deepest subconscious. For now, though, I can be happy knowing that chivalry will never die as long
as romance continues to thrive in the common man's subconscious.