CHAPTERS

FOREWORD ................................................................................................................................................... 3
HOW TO BE HAPPY........................................................................................................................................ 4
HOW TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM.................................................................................................................... 7
HOW TO OVERCOME DISTRACTIONS.......................................................................................................... 11
HOW TO SET AND ACHIEVE GOALS............................................................................................................. 15
HOW TO OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT ............................................................................................................. 19
HOW TO BE POSITIVE .................................................................................................................................. 23
HOW TO COME OUT OF NEGATIVITY.......................................................................................................... 26
HOW TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.............................................................................................. 30
HOW TO BE DISCIPLINED ............................................................................................................................ 32
EARN SOME GOOD KARMA ........................................................................................................................ 35

2012 Om Swami.
Go to omswami.com for more.

FOREWORD
You are a product of your emotions, desires, thoughts, tendencies
and karma. If you can strengthen the person within you, if you can
be positive, disciplined, emotionally free, you can be whatever you
want.
Often, one keeps on working the external environment in hope of
attaining inner peace and happiness. However, that rarely works.
If you know how to insulate yourself from criticism, from negative
emotions, if you can learn the art of staying positive, staying
focused, you will experience a permanent state of bliss. When you
are happy from within, the whole world looks beautiful, you can
put up with a great deal, it gives you motivation, enthusiasm,
strength.
In order to live the life of your dreams, you need to prepare
yourself for it. If you are successful at what you do, and you
always find yourself positive and happy, you will automatically
attract all the right people too. With sound relationships, material
prosperity and inner peace, could you ask for anything else?
In this short book, I will share with you my philosophy of how to
be positive, strong, how to deal with criticism, with self-doubt,
with distractions. It contains some practical tips you can adopt to
be the person you always wanted to be. There are anecdotes and
stories to illustrate the point.
I hope you enjoy the read.
Peace.
Swami
omswami.com

HOW TO BE HAPPY
Human life is like a pendulum. It is dangling and tossing between
the positive and the negative, good and bad, right and wrong, the
true and the false, highs and lows, thick and thin, and a whole
heap of other dualities. All that is subjective, however. It cannot
affect you unless you let it. Let me narrate a little story to you:
There was a monk once. For years he practiced meditation,
contemplation and forbearance, yet he could not gain
enlightenment. He still felt troubled by the world around him,
especially when people failed to see his saintliness or disagreed
with him what he thought was the truth. He still felt bad when
people mistreated him, and, good, when he was treated well. He
wanted to rise above, remain indifferent to such worldly offerings
but he could not.
One day he approached his guru and confessed his inner turmoil
and restlessness. His master listened patiently and gave him a key
and directions to a certain room.
"Go and meditate there for three days unmoving. Leave the door
open and maintain silence. The truth will dawn on you," the
master instructed.
He obeyed his guru and went to the place to meditate. Much to his
dismay, it was in a market, next to a busy hallway, in the center of
a crowded city. He was skeptical about meditating in a noisy place
for inner quietude. Nevertheless, he proceeded. As soon as he
unlocked the door, a nauseating stench greeted him. He soon
realized that there was a toilet just above the room. For a moment
he felt crossed with his guru. Then again, the guru must have a

reason he thought.
The room was unclean, without any windows, and looked like an
abandoned shop. There was seepage on the walls and the ground
was somewhat wet. The waste pipe above was leaking. He
assumed lotus position and sat down to meditate. Every so often,
he could hear the sound of flushing toilet. He understood that he
was meditating directly below a public toilet. His restlessness only
built up more.
A million worries engulfed him. He was concerned what if the
pipe above him burst, what all people, who were passing by,
talked about him, how would he know that seventy two hours had
passed, what if he fainted from the stench, what if he someone
came and interrupted his meditation mid-way and so on.
On the third day, while he was engrossed in such thoughts, the
plumbing above him burst and fecal matter fell on his head.
Before he could determine his next step, two men walked by.
"Who is this man?" one asked in disgust seeing the monk smeared
in excreta.
"God knows! Some claim he is a holy man while many say he is
full of crap. "
The monk was enlightened as soon as he heard that. He
understood that the whole world can only have one of the two
opinions about him and everyone is bound to have some opinion.
In essence, none of the opinions actually matter unless you let
them. They cannot affect you or bother you, unless you accept
them. They cannot multiply unless you respond to them. Such
opinions are not eternal unless you react towards them. They hold
no intrinsic meaning unless you contemplate on them. They
cannot change you unless you cultivate them.

Everyone who knows you is going to have an opinion about you. A

lot many who have no clue about you are likely to have an even
stronger opinion about you. Those who meet you form one based
on their experience. And many who have never met you, form
theirs based on others'. Such is the nature of this material world.
The biggest democracies, religions, sects, cults run on this
principle. Everyone has the right to have an opinion. And you
have the right to accept, reject, or ignore it. It is your choice that
affects your state of happiness.
If you start listening to yourself, when your inner voice finds an
audience in you, the outer ones matter less and less. When, how
you are seen by others stops bothering you, a blanket of peace
drapes, almost shields, you. And the one who is peaceful is happy
indeed. Happiness is the outcome of your actions, physical or
mental.
Know when, what, and where to keep versus let go. Such
knowledge comes with practice, with awareness. It is about
attitude and outlook. This is the journey of turning inward.
***

HOW TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM

It is inevitable; criticism. It is always an opinion of the other
person. If you agree with their judgment, their criticism may
prompt you to improve yourself. However, if you disagree, you
may be embracing negativity. Negative emotions weaken you.
Sometimes, it can be hard to deal with criticism, especially if it
comes from your loved ones. When others try to unload their
negativity and opinions onto you, at that moment, you have a
choice, an option to reject, to discard, to let go. If you can let go,
you will remain peaceful; your heart will not be wounded,
certainly not as much. Let me share a story with you:
There was a certain monastery in Japan. It was founded by a
Chinese master long time ago. The master and his followers were
known for destroying religious texts and other such artifacts as
Buddha's statues and religious symbols. Their rationale was to
free themselves from any form of conditioning and attachment.
They believed that such symbols and texts conditioned and
shackled the mind rather than freeing it. Radical methods of the
Chinese masters helped many gain the transcendental state.
However, those who disagreed with their methods criticized them
heavily.
Once, two seekers, well educated, one even being a professor,
from North America, visited that monastery. They were fairly well
read and had preconceived notions about the place and its
founder. The abbot received them and took them around for a
tour of the monastery. Towards the end of the tour, the Roshi,
elder master, led them into a ceremonial hall to pay respects to a
statue of the founder by prostrating and offering incense. The two
seekers were disturbed as they had read all about the founder and

his radical acts. Although disconcerted, they followed quietly.

When the Roshi bowed before the statue, the professor could no
longer contain himself and blurted out, "This man you idolize, he
burned and spat on Buddha statues! Why do you bow before
him?"
"If you want to spit, you spit," replied the Roshi calmly, "I prefer
to bow. "
There you go! Whether you spit or bow is your choice, and
whether they bow or spit is their choice. You exercise yours and
let them exercise theirs. I am reminded of a quote, "Those who
love you don't need an explanation, and those who don't are not
going to believe one anyway. " When you are offered criticism,
you may choose to clarify your position, only if you truly wish to
do that. You may wish to reflect on it, for, such criticism may even
be true. Beyond that, do not cause yourself grief by brooding over
others' thoughts and opinions. Reject it. Promptly.
Your freedom, inner bliss, is entirely in your own hands. It is your
own state of mind. What you do not accept can never affect you.
Just like you, everyone has a right to their opinion. Till you rise
above criticism, you must discover your own method to deal with
it. Here are some of the popular ones for you:
1. Remove yourself physically:
If you can remove yourself physically, you will no longer hear
their opinions. If you are unable to hear what they are able to say,
you will not be grieved. You may choose to go out or go for a walk.
2. Disappear mentally:
If you can find something else to focus on, so that you are

listening to your inner music, you will retain your blissful state. It
is like listening to your iPod while the other person is watching
TV. They are doing what they like and you are doing what you
like.
3. Visualize:
Choose a visualization that may help you. When someone decides
to turn on their FM channel, you may see them as a blabbering
child, a radio, or anything else that insulates you.
4. Sympathize:
If you pay attention you will discover that those who criticize you
are full of their own insecurities. Those in bliss and peace do not
criticize. They may politely offer their point of view, but you will
not see them criticize. Next time when you are faced with
criticism, fill your heart with empathy towards the other person.
They might have had a rough childhood or an unfulfilling life.
This is the only way they have learned to protect and express
themselves. The method of sympathizing is the most
compassionate way. If you can practice this, not only will you
experience great peace, you will trigger a subtle transformation in
the other person too.
Just like upon boarding a plane your destiny is in the hands of the
pilot, when you take the flight of an argument, it is no longer
about you alone. If you choose to react or respond to criticism in
kind, you have just procreated a new entity of disharmony and
negativity, you have already boarded at that time. The control is
less and less in your hands. You may unnaturally curb other
person's response if you exercise greater authority, but the
damage is already done.
How about when you are criticizing? If you are not kind enough,
big enough to appreciate what the other person is doing for you,

do not be so small to criticize either. There is a difference between

helping someone improve and being downright negative about
what they are doing. If you do not understand their point of view,
it does not mean they are wrong. Be fair. Remember the two sets
of rules?
Yes, you want to make a point. Yes, you really believe the other
person is at fault. Surely, you know what all they can do to
improve. There is no doubt in your mind that you are impartial
and your statements, genuine. The truth is, the other person feels
exactly the same about herself.
It is all in you, not all about you!
***

HOW TO OVERCOME DISTRACTIONS

Many a times people are unable to carry out their resolve, their
vow, to work right to the end, till their goal is accomplished. They
are motivated, they have wisdom, resources, capability, yet they
let distractions overpower them. Such distractions that cause a
tide of emotions to rise, a tsunami of desires, shaking
their resolve and crushing their strength to stay course, to stay
firm. Yogic and Vedic texts talk a great deal about vikiptat,
distractions, and how they are great obstacles. They can make all
the difference between winning and losing, between success and
failure.
Let me help you understand distractions and ways to overcome
them. They are of two types as follows:
1. External distractions triggering inner reactions
Let us assume, you committed to being a vegetarian and giving up
alcohol. Everything was going fine until you were invited to that
get together you could not afford to skip. Platters of your once
favorite non-vegetarian dishes as well as vintage wine adorned the
dining table. You feel tempted. Further, your folks around you
force you to have some. You are given all sorts of reasoning and
arguments to partake of what is at hand and not worry about your
vow. Under social pressure and your own latent desire, you give
into the temptations.
In this case, an external environment, sighting of delicious food,
triggered a whole heap of thoughts that weakened your resolve.
Till you came to the party, you were at ease, but now, suddenly
your inner world is in a turmoil and you let your heart rule your

mind. In every likelihood, a sense of guilt will drape you soon after
the party. Guilt weakens one's consciousness.
There are two ways to emerge winner while battling against
external distractions:
a. Remove yourself physically
A conducive environment helps a great deal in executing any plan.
In the present example, avoid going to such places, parties where
it is but natural that you will be offered everything contrary to
what's good for you. After all, chances of emerging spotless
working in coal mines are but remote. Unless of course, you
exercise great caution, extraordinary care. If changing your
physical environment is not possible sometimes, follow step b, as
below:
b. Make yourself clear
Granted, some people may think you are arrogant, or that, you no
longer care, or that you have changed and so forth. Let them.
Trust me, let them. If they really love you, they will not think any
of these things and if they do not, does it matter anyway what they
think? Ultimately, it is you alone who will be bearing the
consequences, paying for your choices, at that time, no one else
will be able to help you. So, stand by what you stand for. This
always worked for me; before I renounced, for years I attended
events of all sorts but never even once did I compromise on my
own principles. People around me understood and accepted it.
2. Inner thoughts triggering external actions
Distractions of this type can be equally hard to manage. For
example, let us say, you recently quit smoking. Day-in-day-out,
you were living upto your own expectations and you did not

smoke for ten days. One day, out of the blue, you just recollect the
image of a cigarette, you try hard to not think of smoking but
cigarette is what keeps coming back to your mind. You experience
restlessness and the compulsion to smoke. The thought of
smoking overpowers you to the degree that you get up and buy
yourself a pack. There are two ways to overcome distraction of
this type:
a. Take your mind off
Do not think about not doing the prohibited, instead just take a
deep breath and focus your mind elsewhere. You cannot overcome
thoughts of non-action by thinking about not acting on it! You
must simply, gently, shift the spotlight of your thoughts. Change
the scenery, get up, move around, win over a distraction with
another one, a better one, if necessary. Do whatever it takes but
do not give into the temptation.
b. Exercise patience (postpone)
This method is more powerful than you might think. Just give
your mind a bait, tell your mind that you will revisit the idea after
an hour or two hours or something like that. Just let the storm of
distraction pass, let your thoughts settle, let your mind calm
down. If you can rein the horses while distraction comes
attacking, you will remain focused, winning the battle. You will
emerge a winner, stronger and a more confident person.
Now, regardless of the nature of distraction, let me share with you
the two most potent questions you can ask yourself to help you
make the right decision, always. Yes, always.
1. Is this my best move?
A chess grandmaster unfailingly asks one question before making

each move in chess, and that is, is this my best move? That often
prompts the player to think more, think better, think out-of-thebox and come up with extraordinary moves. Before you give in to
a temptation, just before you decide to do something, a moment
before taking an action, ask yourself: is this my best move, or, can
I play better? If you are honest with yourself, you will find it easy
to dissipate your distractions with minimal effort.
2. What is the most that will happen?
Remember, in the case of self-doubt, the best question was, what
is the worst that can happen? Well, in removing distractions, you
have to ask exactly the opposite. Let us say you are distracted and
really want to drink alcohol, ask yourself, what's the most that will
happen? An ephemeral pleasure of a few hours, if that? Is that it?
Is that enough to justify you compromising on your resolve? And
if so, is that your best move!?
Do you know who is your greatest friend, the one who can always
stand by you and help you make the right decisions and make sure
you tread the noble path? You. And your worst enemy? You.
A slave, however well paid, however well kept, remains a slave.
Go on! conquer yourself and be the king of your own empire, a
master of your own mind, a captain of your own ship, live at your
own terms. Discover yourself, your own truth.
***

HOW TO SET AND ACHIEVE GOALS

On a gorgeous sunny day, under the soft winter sun, Mullah
Nasrudin and his best friend were lying on the plush bed of green
grass in a stately garden. They were enjoying the sun bath. Trees
stood gracefully in an organized fashion as if forming a natural
boundary of the garden, they were arching over the pathways.
Blooming flowers of various hues made the place look like a
Floriade. Bees were hopping from one flower to an another. Birds
were unobtrusively tweeting and singing in the trees. Warm
breeze caressed and massaged them as it traveled intermittently,
as if playing hide and seek. It was peaceful and serene.
"Oh! How beautiful," sighed Mullah. "Right now, I would not
trade places with anybody for even a million dollars. "
"How about for a hundred million?" asked his friend heightening
the appeal to insane levels.
"Nope. Not even for the combined wealth of the whole world
would I give this up!"
"Well, how about three? I can give you three dollars right now to
leave this place. "
"Hmm. . . Three? Alright, that's different. Now you are talking
real money," said Mullah sitting up with the intention to move.
This anecdote underscores a beautiful message: your mind does
not take even the most lucrative dreams seriously but it is willing
to act on the tiniest of real possibilities of rewards, of gains. You
eat real food, you work real jobs, you wear real clothes, why not

have real goals? Reality does not always mean that you need to
aim low, it means you genuinely believe it to be practical.
1. Believe in your goals
The most important thing about goals is that you must genuinely
believe in them. It should be a bite size piece cut out of reality and
not a monstrous meal snatched from the fangs of day-dreaming.
There is a fundamental difference between dreaming and goal
setting. Your conscious mind will only allow you to believe in what
you consider real. It has evolved that way. However mythical your
concept, your reality or your goal may be for the whole world, if
you believe it to be real, you can turn it into your goal. Whatever
you can work towards, can be your goal.
Your reality is dependent on your beliefs, commitment, efforts
and mindset. Imagine a mango hanging five feet above you. You
know you can jump two feet comfortably and if you stretch your
arm, you can easily reach four feet. You only have to jump a little
harder and stretch more to gain that extra one feet. Your mind
believes it to be attainable. It is based on your belief, your reality
that you may attempt to jump. The same mango when twenty feet
high, will discourage you to even try. Aiming for a mango at
twenty feet is not unrealistic or unattainable, especially if you are
serious about getting it. However, jumping alone will not
accomplish it. You will require some sort of paraphernalia,
perhaps a slingshot, a stone, or a ladder and so forth. Your
conscious mind automatically comes up with ideas if it believes in
your goal.
2. Work towards your goals
Dreams are not something you work towards, you just have them.
Goal is what you are willing to work for. You have probably heard

about SMART goals. SMART stands for Specific

(what), Measurable (how much), Attainable (how), Realistic
and Timed (when). I reiterate: your mind will only allow you to
put a serious effort towards what you truly believe to be a real
goal. Perhaps having a SMART goal is not enough, it should be
SMARTER where E is for Evaluate and R, Realign. If you are
prepared to work towards your goals, you have much greater
chance of attaining them. Sometimes, they say, it is all about
being at the right place at the right time. If you are persistent,
your chances of ending up at the right place at the right time go up
significantly. Probability of miracles in your life go up, fortune
starts to favor you. Be patient and be persistent. Be determined
and be disciplined. Results will certainly come through. Evaluate
your goals and realign if necessary.
Dreams are many, but goals are those dreams that you believe to
be real, feasible, those dreams that you prioritize. Imagine a kid in
a candy store, she wants to have everything. But she must pick
and choose based on what all is allowed or affordable. From the
store of your dreams, pick the ones you cannot be without.
Prioritize your goals and align your actions. Achieving each goal
requires time and efforts. If you can be infinitely patient and
eternally persistent, you can attain even the most extraordinary
goals. You can dream as big as you like, especially if it helps you
stay motivated, but you need to be realistic about your goals if you
are serious about their attainment. First you define your goals and
then they define you.
Do you know your greatest strength in attaining your goals? Your
habits. And your greatest weakness? Your habits. Discipline is a
habit, so is indiscipline.

Spend time understanding yourself before you define yourself. If

you are patient enough to analyse yourself, you will be potent
enough to elevate yourself.
Take it easy. Not for granted.
***

HOW TO OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT

Most have it some of the time and some have it most of the time,
self-doubt. It is a byproduct of fear, fear of failure, of losing, of
non-achievement. It is not always something you can just brush
aside. Sometimes, it is borne out of a reasonable conclusion, a
logical construct, a valid assessment. It may well be a state of
mind acquired after cogitation. Ignoring your fear does not dispel
it. False assurance does not remove the possibility of failure, and
lack of success in your endeavor will lead to deeper fear and
greater self-doubt. So, what causes self-doubt and what can you
do about it? Keep reading.
The process of winning over your fears, eliminating your selfdoubt depends on the type and basis of such doubt. Without
further ado, let me decipher and categorize it for you. Self-doubt
can fall in one of the three non-exclusive categories:
1. Based on Non-Action
For example, a university student did not pay attention to his
studies, he lagged behind in his coursework, and in a week from
now are his exams. He is rushing to cover his syllabus but remains
worried and doubtful about his passing the exams. He sits down
to study but can no longer concentrate or persist because he has
developed this fear of failure.
Well, he has given himself every reason to develop self-doubt. In
fact, it is not just that but his intelligent mind warning him.
Chances are, under the ordinary circumstances, he is not going to
pass his exam. He cannot regain his confidence by artificially
consoling or pacifying his mind, a false assurance can only take
you so far, ultimately, the reality is going to raise its head.

The best way to overcome self-doubt of this type is to sincerely

work towards your goal. Observe, learn, adapt, adopt, understand,
persevere, do what you have to do to stay course, to hold your fort.
Actions bring results, it is action alone that will lead you to your
goal, and like they say, nothing motivates like success. With
practice, you attain perfection.
Practice. Persistence. Patience. If you work on these three, selfdoubt will leave you forever, in the potent presence of success, it
promptly loses its existence.
2. Based on Past Experience
A sense of self-doubt based on your past is a common scenario.
Each time you fail, you register an emotion, an experience in your
mind. Millions of years of evolution has transformed human mind
to cling to negative emotions and fears. Some do it more than
others. I do not know of anybody who never failed. Some get back
to action and attain success, eliminating their fear while many
hold onto their failures limiting themselves from exploring their
full potential.
Conscious mind is calculative, it is analytical, that is how humans
have risen to the top of the food chain and this is the reason they
have developed conscious and conditioned fears.
For example, let us say, years ago, you tried to lose weight. You
were supposed to control your diet and spend four hours at the
gym every week. Disregarding the discipline, you did not work as
planned, you went to the gym for six days in a row one week and
only once the next. The weighing scale did not budge from its
original reading. You started to lose interest and began doubting if

you would ever be able to lose weight. And one day, you gave up
and went back to your old lifestyle, causing even more damage to
your physical and mental well being.
When you allow yourself to fail, you weaken your mind, especially
if you were not honest with yourself. Fear, doubt and other
negative emotions thrive in a weak mind. If your sense of selfdoubt is based on your failure in the past, all you have to do is
reflect on the reasons of your failure. If you do not repeat the past
actions, past results will not manifest. History can only repeat
itself if you start living a historical present.
Einstein once said, "Insanity is to keep doing the same thing but
expect different results. "
3. Based on Innate Fear
Self-doubt based on fear is more common when one wants to
tread the unknown waters, some even have the ripe opportunity,
but they are either settled in their comfort zone or too afraid to try
anything new; the latter is my present focus.
Ability to take risks varies in each individual. If you have been
contemplating on embarking on a new venture, trying something
different, but self-doubt and fear of failure keeps holding you
back, you can only address them by contemplation and strategy. If
you are keen on learning how to swim, eventually, you have to
jump in the water. There comes a time when you have to let go off
the floaters and swim on your own.
The best way to overcome fear based self-doubt is to write down
your answers to the following questions:
a. Why do I want change?

b. Am I ready to embrace change?

c. What is the worst that can happen?
d. Do I feel competent enough to handle the worst?
Reflect on your answers, prioritize and act accordingly.
When you experience self-doubt, get to its root to remove it. Do
not just ignore it, especially if it persists. It could just be your fear
or it may well be your intuitive faculty guiding you. You will only
know the truth upon self-reflection. And I reiterate, the most
potent question you can ask yourself to overcome self-doubt is:
What is the worst that can happen?
Take it easy. Do not spend your time brooding over past, overanticipating your future or making elaborate plans devoid of
action. It is a precious life, do something priceless with it.
***

HOW TO BE POSITIVE
There was a man once. He was always positive. Whenever
anything untoward happened, his response would be, "It might
have been worse. " So much so that it started annoying his
friends. When one is always positive, it can get on the nerves of
the average thinkers around.
One day, a friend of his came up to him and said, "Last night I
dreamed I was driving and that I had a terrible accident. And that
every bone in my body was broken. They tried hard to revive me,
the paramedics, but they failed. They gave me electric shocks but
nothing worked. Ultimately, they pronounced me dead. The
messengers of Death came and dragged me all the way to hell.
There I was beaten badly and skinned while I felt excruciating
pain. Then they took me and put me in oil heated to top degree.
My body burned and I cried and cried but no one helped me. The
pain was like never before. I was scared when I got up. And I am
still scared now. This is a bad sign. "
"Oh, well. Don't be scared," the man said. "It might have been
worse. "
"What do you mean, it might have been worse! How could it have
been any worse?" the friend exclaimed.
"It might have been true!" he said calmly.
It might have been true a statement worth reflecting on. Fear is
innate in all living beings, such fear may be instinctive or
conditioned, something I will elucidate in the near future. Fears

stop one from being positive. They make you weak. If you take a
look at your past, you will realize that less than one percent of
your fears actually ever came true, and that too, not even fully.
This is the key to remember. When you no longer feel positive
about your actions or goals because you are afraid that life may
just go jelly on you, remind yourself of all the times in the past
when you felt the same but each time your fears proved wrong.
While in high school, you probably looked upon your maths or
science teacher as the supreme being, the one who controlled your
destiny, but he did not and you still passed. Each semester or each
year you were probably afraid of the exams, but you mostly
passed, if not always.
When companies were downsizing, and the economy was in
depression, when the stock markets were going south, you might
have been affected but you moved on. The Divine, the One who
lives in all, ensured that you were not without food, shelter,
clothing or medication.
Being positive is a matter of mental preparedness. It is knowing
that the world cannot end for you. It is remembering that every
day gives you the opportunity to do something new. Everything is
interdependent and relative. Positivity is about living in the
moment. And above all, being positive is a matter of choice, a
conscious choice in fact. You can be positive or you can be
negative; in essence, both emotions have no firm basis; they are
based on hope, often biased and misplaced. Whether or not you
count the chickens before they are hatched is not as important as
caring for the ones that do hatch. Because ultimately, your
satisfaction, peace, joy is going to come from living in the
moment. Past is dead, and, future, unknown. Gratitude, being
grateful for what you have, hope, being optimistic about what you

may have, and, discipline, working in the present to get what you
would like to have, are the ingredients for a positive life. If you are
grateful, hopeful and disciplined, you will feel positive naturally.
If all your fears, or even majority, came to life in the past, you
have reasons to be skeptical and negative about your future, about
your goals, about yourself. However, if that is not the case,
remember that it is your mind playing tricks. Being positive does
not mean that you hide in a cocoon and hope that all good things
will happen automatically, it is about working towards your goals
regardless of what comes your way. You will emerge triumphant,
stronger and a winner.
Oscar Wilde once said, "All of us are in the gutter but some of us
are looking at the stars. "
Go on! Learn to play and play to win but win to enjoy. Do all that
positively. Chase your dreams. Today, you have the chance.
***

HOW TO COME OUT OF NEGATIVITY

Sometimes you are down, going through a phase of seemingly
endless struggle, it feels as if all your achievements, personal or
professional, in the past were fluke, as if you will never be able to
restore harmony in your life again, you remain unsure whether
the light you see at the end of tunnel is actually a ray of hope or an
oncoming train. You feel listless while life looks lackluster. Many
around you do not seem to care and most of those who do, are
unable to help you; you experience loneliness.
There is no doubt that life can have boldly contrasting colors.
Almost everyone, if not absolutely everyone, goes through their
own share of struggles and challenges. The bigger your ambition,
the tougher the challenge, the greater your resistance, the harder
your struggle. This is how it works. Struggle is the result of
resistance, everything else is hard work. Hard is a relative term, a
state of mind. Struggle and challenges are not absolute in
themselves, they are relative. The stronger your mind, the greater
your ability to pull through any situation.
Some are naturally stronger than others. I am specifically
referring to mental strength. Your mindset and your mental
strength are the two most critical factors, the most important
elements to help you come out of negativity. Negativity kills your
motivation, it makes you weak, and almost shuts down your mind.
When circumstances are adverse, at that moment, you have a
choice to focus your mind on negative or positive thoughts. It is a
matter of choice. If you let negativity become your habit, you will
mostly find yourself sulking.

In a struggling relationship, if you cannot be without the other

person for whatever reason, you had better find a way to be
happy, to focus on the positives, the virtues of your partner. If you
are determined enough to move out of your relationship, you are
perhaps strong enough to make it work too. You cannot fix it by
being negative. Undesirable or unpleasant situations can make
you feel low and as you get more negative, such situations go
beyond your control further damaging your emotional and mental
state. It is a catch twenty-two situation. Either you need to move
out of the situation or your negativity. Both will accomplish the
same outcome. Here are some suggestions for you. They are not
mutually exclusive. Try a mix and match, a trial and error
approach to see what works best for you.
1. Focus on the positives
You can train your mind to focus on the positive aspect. No matter
how dire the situation, it possibly cannot be all negative. For
example, your relationship is not working out and you feel down
about the whole affair. Make a list of everything you like about
your partner, your present life. Review and read this list. It will
trigger a sense of gratitude. Positivity will germinate automatically
as a result. It is impossible to be grateful without being positive.
2. Accept the situation
This approach will help you feel peaceful. For instance, your
partner provides for you and is a caring and a loving person.
However, he does not appreciate many things you do. That is his
nature. You have brought up this issue multiple times but nothing
has changed. If appreciation is that important to you, think of
moving on. Otherwise, if you accept the situation, you will
experience peace and positivity.

3. Accept your mistake

I do not mean it in the negative sense. Sometimes, it can happen
that you end up at the wrong end in a wrong relationship. In my
personal opinion, regardless of the reason, one should never put
up with an abusive partner. If, in spite of trying everything, his
abusive nature remains unchanged, accept that you made a
mistake by signing up for this relationship; it is time to move on.
An abusive relationship can cripple you in no time, mentally,
emotionally and financially, and sometimes, irreparably so. You
deserve better.
4. Focus on action
Irrespective of being in a struggling relationship or shattering
situation, regardless of whether you are going through a personal
turmoil or professional crisis, you can expect very little to change
without action. You must act if you want to see change. Action
diffuses negativity. When you focus on action, your situation is
bound to change.
5. Meditate
Light meditation where you consciously meditate on happy
moments, on beautiful times, on bright future, on joyous
visualizations, can make you feel positive in a matter of minutes.
The impact from any meditation is directly proportional to its
intensity, regularity and lucidity.
Negativity directly affects your consciousness, your mind and
therefore your body. In fact, it is a disease, a mental ailment. If
you choose to stay negative, you will become a stress head, age
quicker and contract diseases faster. Unlike most physical
afflictions, this one is a matter of choice. If you choose to stay
positive, no one can stop you.

When you are down, that is the time to muster your inner
strength. The test of strength of a rubber band is when it is
stretched. When life stretches you a little too hard, relax. Remind
yourself that this is not the end of the world. The One who has
provided for you all these years, will do so in the future as well.
Remind yourself that your fears are simply your mind playing
tricks.
Whether the magician cuts up a woman in two or conjures up an
elephant from nowhere, it is all one big illusion. Your mind is an
apt magician, an extraordinary one in fact. However, if you do not
buy the ticket, there is no show. Regardless of who is at fault, it is
you alone who will get affected the most by staying negative. So,
for your own good, be positive. Drop those thoughts that make
you weak. They are not worth holding onto. Architect your own
life, design your own show. Forgive yourself, set yourself free.

***

HOW TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE

THOUGHTS
A lot of the times people tell me they want to take their mind away
from negative thoughts and emotions but are not always able to
do so. In fact, more often than not such negativity or distractions
win over them causing a turmoil in their inner world of peace and
quiet. An attempt to focus on what you dislike brings you exactly
what you do not want. That is how Nature operates. Let me
explain. Your outer world is greatly affected by the state of your
inner world. Your thoughts, desires and emotions (ultimately, all
thoughts) are the building blocks of your inner world. Whether
the thought is to avoid something or to have it, that very thought
becomes the building block. When you keep your thoughts on
things or emotions you want to avoid, you can imagine what your
inner world is going to look like. Here is how to overcome
negative emotions, thoughts and distractions.
Imagine a battle. The stronger side generally wins. The side that
has greater force and more intelligence tends to overpower the
other. Between a weak and a strong, the weaker gets subdued by
the strong. That is all you need to know. When your negative
emotions or thoughts are stronger than your positive ones, they
will win over you. Till such time that you discover your natural
state of mind, a state that rises above negative or positive, you
need to list positive emotions. Think about those things and
emotions that uplift you and are stronger than the ones that make
you feel down and pensive. No matter how terrible things may be,
there is still plenty everyone has to be grateful. Being grateful for
what you have helps you to be positive and strong. Further down
the line, when we get to Emotional Transformation, I will detail
the practice of gratitude.

For now, your task is to find enough fodder for your mind that
makes it peaceful and happy. Whenever you feel down, do not
make any attempts to stave off the negativity. Just try your utmost
to focus on the positive. Consequently, negative thoughts become
greatly feeble.
All negative emotions and sentiments including anger, jealousy
and greed mean you are hurt somewhere in your inner world. It
indicates the wounds have not healed yet. It shows your heart is
still scarred. There is no one-size-fits-all remedy, you need to find
a way to heal yourself. Let go; forgive, try. If you make an attempt
to let go of all that grieves you, healing occurs automatically. If
you make an attempt to look upon everyone as merely the
medium to deliver you, as I say, your parcels of karmic fruits, your
outlook towards people will start to change.
***.

HOW TO BE DISCIPLINED
If we were to pinpoint one common denominator in the lives of
the greatest across the globe, the finest who walked on our planet,
the most charismatic leaders, the greatest thinkers, philosophers,
inventors, it would probably boil down to discipline. They all lived
a life of discipline, great self-discipline in fact. Discipline is the art
of staying course, of sticking to a plan, of taming your mind. It is a
skill.
Often people tell me that I want to do this or do that, I really want
to lose weight, I so want to quit smoking or drinking, I want to
study hard, I want to meditate, I want to look for a better job and
so on. I smile and I get somewhat amused when I see them talk
like that. The only thing I hear is "want". Of course, you want.
Wanting is the nice part, it is the easy part. There is nothing
special about it. A dog wants love, most want money, all want
respect, some want care, others, companionship, and, many want
everything. Somewhere along the line, if you are serious about
fulfilling your dreams, you have to bridge the gap between your
wants and actions. If your desires and your actions are not
matching pace, your wants are simply dreams; there is very little
chance of seeing them materialize one day. If you set your mind to
action, even the wildest dreams can come to fruition.
Paradoxically, discipline sets you free. It gives you the freedom to
do anything, to accomplish anything, to be anything you want. To
the one who is disciplined, knowledge, wisdom, success, solutions
come automatically. Einstein once said, "It's not that I am so
smart. It's just that I stay with problems longer. " Discipline is
about persistence with conviction. When you carry on with what
you have to do, whether or not you like it, that is discipline. If you

find ways to be positive and like it, following any discipline

becomes easier.
You want to lose weight but you hate the thought of exercising
and you love desserts; well, exercising is not something you have
to like or dislike, eating right is not something you have to love or
hate. You just have to get on with it and do it. Conscious mind is
like the spoilt child. They may act obstinately or exhibit
misdemeanor in the presence of their own parents. But the same
kid, when he goes for a sleepover at his friend's place for instance,
will behave sweetly and nicely. He knows that no one is going to
tolerate his whimsical behavior there. The same goes for your own
mind if you stop putting up with its misconduct, it starts
behaving. Disciplining your own mind is your personal problem
and you alone can do it.
You get up in the morning, get ready, go to work and spend your
entire day there, regardless of your prejudice or preference,
irrespective of your level of motivation; you just do it because you
know you need to do it. Your mind may not like it but it does not
complain beyond a certain degree. It knows you are giving it no
choice. The same goes for everything else. When you want to get
something done, you just have to get on with it. With discipline, as
you start to see results, you feel more motivated, enthusiastic and
positive.
No matter how negative you are, even if you are hopeless of
succeeding, if you follow the discipline, you will see success. There
are no two ways about it.
I am reminded of an apt quote by Aristotle: Men are anxious to
improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve

themselves.
Whenever you feel lazy, want to get rid of something, or, wish to
have a better future, you need to contemplate on what it is that
you have to do to achieve that and then pursue it relentlessly.
Your present circumstances are a product of your karma, desires,
emotions and beliefs, often misbeliefs. To transform yourself,
either you can work on all of them, or the root of them all, that is,
your mind, your thoughts.
Just like success, discipline is highly addictive.
Oh, and I should mention that by discipline I only mean selfdiscipline. Just in case you started making plans of disciplining
others
Come on! get on with what you have to do. Let not your
preferences come in the way of your actions. Stop day-dreaming
or complaining. If you cannot build your own destiny, no one can
do it for you.
***

EARN SOME GOOD KARMA

Ever wonder how The Law of Attraction works? It works in
tandem with the law of karma. You always get what you give. It is
like the echo phenomenon in the mountains. It shouts back at you
whatever you say out loud. So, if you want peace, bliss, happiness,
money, whatever you want to attract, learn to start giving it first.
If you liked this book and gained something out of it, I encourage
you to earn some good karma by passing on the message to those
you care about. Let more people benefit.
Help spread the message and share this book with your friends.
Go to omswami.com for more ebooks and thought-provoking
reads.
***