Ziad Sabry

Character Recipe for Walter Cunningham

This recipe could be used to create one unfortunate son of a gun born in a
very unfortunate time to very, very unfortunate parents.

Ingredients:
1 lb.
cup
1 cup
2 lbs.
cup
cup
1 cups

Good, old fashioned family tradition

Hungry hookworms
Poverty
Hard work at the farm
Stubbornness
Getting beat-up by a girl type feebleness
Ignorance of commodities

Directions:

Roll around and walk barefoot in barnyards and hog wallows until you
have cultivated cups of hungry hookworms. Sprinkle 1 lb. of good, old
fashioned family tradition and do not accept anything from anybody if
you cannot repay. Ignore all money lending. Now, measure out 1 cup of
poverty with your hands since you cannot afford a measuring cup and
add it to the 1 lb. of family tradition and leave for one day. Next
morning, wake up and do 2 lbs. worth of farm work. Remember to do it
barefoot as this will attract more hook worms. Add cup of
stubbornness and follow good, old fashioned family tradition. Next, do
not fight back and receive cup of beating from a 6 year old girl.
Finally, add 1 cups of ignorance of commodities (such as sweeteners),
or better yet, add as much sweeteners you want, since the recipe calls
for and ignorance of them.

Ziad Sabry