The Power of Self-Reflection: Ten Questions You Should Ask Yourself

To find yourself, lost and without purpose, wondering how you ended up where you are, is a scary thought. If you are not careful, not mindfully
aware of where you are going, you could end up somewhere far from where you want to be. These are 10 helpful questions that we each ought to
ask ourselves on a frequent basis. The power of self-reflection can serve to keep you in check, to keep you focused on self-improvement and
ensure that you are as fulfilled as possible.
1. Am I using my time wisely?
Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
We all know time is precious. Our goal ought to be to use it in a way that isnt counter-productive. For example, taking time to unwind and do
nothing productive in particular could be beneficial for the mind and body. Finding yourself stuck in a job that offers a stable pay but fails to
challenge you, make use of your skills, or provide some sense of value could be considered a substantial waste of time. Most of it is perception.
The best way to evaluate this is to imagine yourself five or 10 years from now, looking back to where you are now, this could help you see what
aspects in your life may be a waste of your time.
2. Am I taking anything for granted?
Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your last misfortunes, of which all men have some. - Charles
Dickens
There are countless blessings around each of us. Even at our lowest lows we may have the support of family or friends, a roof over our head or
skills that we ought to take pride in. Were naturally forward-looking, which may blind us to our present circumstances. We ought to take a
moment every now and again to look at what we have around us and be grateful.
3. Am I employing a healthy perspective?
Perspective is as simple as answering this question: If I had five months to live would I experience this problem differently? - Shannon Alder
Whether or not were happy, doing whats right, or if we are successful is all about perspective. We may have the world at our fingertips yet find
ourselves utterly empty. We can grow to hate our jobs simply because of one co-worker whom we cannot agree with, or be devastated over a
dissolving relationship that had been detrimental to our well-being in the first place. Sometimes were so zoomed in on various issues that, when
we step back or hear an outside perspective, we can view the issue in a completely different light. Try to adopt new perspectives when possible; a
glass-half-full approach can mean a world of difference in regards to certain matters.
4. Am I living true to myself?
A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because youre not living in alignment; youre not be being true to yourself. Steve
Maraboli
This may take years to fully discover, with many mistakes along the way, but it doesnt mean we shouldnt try. Its vital to figure out whether or
not were deceiving ourselves, leading a life that is far from what we want it to be. We have complete control over what we do, but without
consciously evaluating our actions and circumstances every now and again, we can let things spiral awaylike the the corrupt politician or
steroid-dependent athlete. Figure out what youre doing and why youre doing it. If youre doing something that will cause you regret down the
road, work yourself away from it.
5. Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?
Know that dreaming is a waste of sleeping time and energy if you dont wake up to achieve them. - Israelmore Ayivor
Or are you waking up with a sense of hopelessness? The first thought of the day is a massive indicator of your general level of happiness. We all
have days that we dont look forward to, but if you find yourself not wanting to get out of bed day after day, and if you know why that is, its time
to take action.
6. Am I thinking negative thoughts before I fall asleep?
Insomniacs know that there is something about the night. A darkness, an energy, a mystery that shrouds things. It hides things at the same time
as it illuminates them. It is this thing that allows us to examine our thoughts in a way that we cant during the day. It is this thing that brings truth
and clarity. - Courtney Cole

When we finally lay down to sleep is when we unplug from everything and finally achieve a measure of clarity, clarity that prompts reflection.
Your last thoughts before falling asleep reveal a lot about whats going on in your life. If theyre consistently negative, try to identify a pattern of
what may be causing them and then seek to address the stressors.
7. Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?
Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. - J.K. Rowling
Over time, we can begin to take our relationships for granted. Flames die out, naturally, and novelty wears off. In consequence, this requires
constant effort to allow the relationships to grow. Moving away from family, for instance, requires lots of effort to stay connected and stay close.
If you dont want to find yourself losing various individuals in your life, make sure that youre dedicated towards maintaining your relationships.
8. Am I taking care of myself physically?
To keep the body in good health is a dutyotherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. - Buddha
We have everything working against us as we get oldermore work hours to put in, a family to take care off, decreased energy levels and a slowed
metabolism, just to name a few. Our physical well-being can, in turn, be put on the back burner if were not aware. Keep an idea of where you
want to be physically in the next few years and dont let that image slip away from you.
9. Am I letting matters that are out of my control stress me out?
The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no
control over. - Steve Maraboli
The biggest waste of effort we can make is to stress out about things that are outside of our realm of control. A completely unnecessary but
inevitably common phenomenon that can ruin our days, our health, and our mental well-being. Make sure to continuously identify your stress
factors and work towards eliminating any worries about things that you cant control.
10. Am I achieving the goals that Ive set for myself?
Those who do not move, do not notice their chains. - Rosa Luxemburg
This question is necessary to consider on a frequent basis. We all have a general vision of where we want to be in five or 10 years, but its a very
obscure glimpse based around general accomplishments. PsychologyToday.com reports: In life, people have many goals (e.g. exercise more, be
a better spouse, save more money). However, goals often go unrealized because people lack self-awarenessThus, to improve our chances of
reaching our goals, we must remain aware of our current behavior. Its helpful to examine the visions of our future selves in close detail and
break down everything that must be done in order to achieve them. Dont solely focus on the where and whataccount for the how.
Through frequent self-reflection, we can make sure that were on the right path. Lack of self-reflection can cause us to seem lost or without a
purpose. Time flies by and without consciously evaluating our circumstances, we can let so many aspects of our lives slip away: our health, our
relationships, our goals. Its necessary for us to unplug for a few minutes every now and again, when possible, and address a variety of the
questions, including those listed above.
Whether its Buddhists engaging in meditation, alcoholics at AA meetings, or philosophers of the Enlightenment studying the texts of Immanuel
Kant, being aware of ourselves is an essential step in self-improvement. Allen R. McConnell, www.psychologytoday.com

20 Ways To Recognize A Good Partner

1) They ignore past mistakes
A good partner puts the past in perspective and doesnt constantly bring up reminders from the past that serve no valuable purpose in the present.
Such as something their partner did months or years earlier. Move on!

2) They dont compare

The partner realizes that each person they date has strengths and weaknesses and refrains from comparing their current partner to their exes
especially unfavorably. Just because an ex was unfaithful does not mean that another partner will be so too.
3) They understand the idea of give and take
The partner is aware that all relationships need both partners to put in effort. Its all about balance, about the give and take. If one person does all
the taking, the imbalance will lead to problems. The person doing all the giving will end up resentful.
4) They know the importance of time alone
A good partner understands when they need space and a time out. A healthy relationship involves having interests outside the relationship, and
spending too much time together can lead to a feeling of suffocation. Again, its all about balance.
5) They prioritize communication
The partner places communication as a high priority. Many if not most issues can be worked out if you have the ability to communicate with one
another. Being able to talk openly and knowing you will be heard and not ignored or dismissed is vital for the longevity of a relationship.
6) They are straightforward and/or uncomplicated
A good partner doesnt engage in game playing. They live with integrity and speak up about problems instead of engaging in underhanded tactics
such as passive aggressive behavior or withdrawing affection.
7) They are tuned in
The partner knows their significant others love language, from acts of service to affection to spending quality time together to verbal
expressions to gifts.
8) They are light hearted
A good partner has a good sense of humor, and you can exchange jokes with them and make each other laugh.
9) They are reasonable
The partner has realistic expectations of their significant other. Were all human and we all make mistakes. A good partner doesnt have double
standards whereby one set of rules applies to them and a different set of rules applies to everyone else.
10) They are self-aware
A good partner understands when they are projecting. Often, we expect others to show strengths that we wish we had. When they dont, we feel
disappointed. Learn to develop these skills in yourself and use your relationship as a way forward to enlightenment and personal growth.
11) They are optimistic
The partner has positive expectations; they expect the relationship to be good and to last and dont dwell on negatives. Focusing on the bad parts
can lead to self fulfilling prophecies.
12) They take responsibility for themselves
A good partner doesnt expect their significant other to be the only source of happiness in their life. They realize that we are all responsible for
our own happiness. A partner is a wonderful bonus but not a necessity in life.
13) They are not emotionally abusive, manipulative or controlling
A good partner treats their significant other with respect by not criticizing them relentlessly, embarrassing them in front of others or trying to
control them.
14) They are generous with their time and/or resources
The partner shows empathy and works with you as a team. Its not all about them, just like its not all about you. You work together, and they
understand the concept of strength in numbers and are happy to offer support.
15) They are dependable
A good partner is reliable and responsible, always there for you in a crisis if thy are able to.
16) They are supportive
A good partner encourages you to be the best you can be. They do not feel threatened by your success and they naturally bring out the best in you.

17) They put consistent effort into the relationship

A caring, good partner realizes that relationships take work and dont chug along for ever without putting any effort in. The honeymoon phase is
really just that, a phase!
18) They are honest and trustworthy
The partner is trustworthy, say what they mean and would never cheat on you. If they did meet someone else, they would end the relationship
rather than deceive you and hurt you by leading you on.
19) They are able to say sorry
A good partner is self aware enough to know when they are in the wrong and have no problem with apologizing.
20) They are your best friend
A good partner offers a wonderful friendship. Friendship can hold a relationship together when the going gets tough. If you are friends, the other
problems can always be worked out, since friendship provides a solid foundation for a happy healthy relationship.
Of course, we are all human and cant be good partners 100% of the time. A good partner, however, will possess most of the qualities listed above
and will generally be someone who is happy with who they are and how they live their lives. Once self-acceptance established, there is always
more to give to others.

7 Reasons Why Some People Are Great Leaders

According to American scholar Warren Bennis, leadership can be defined as the capacity to translate vision into reality. There have been
numerous examples of this throughout history, from military conflicts and humanitarian projects, to the worlds of commerce and business. Take
the British manufacturing sector, for example, in which companies led a remarkable recovery after outsourcing had triggered a rapid decline. As a
result, UK manufacturing now employs more than 2.5 million people and accounts for an impressive 52 % of all national exports.
This underlines how good and strong leadership can drive positive change, even in the most challenging of circumstances. It also offers an insight
into the qualities needed to make a great leader, many of which have fundamental value that can be transferred across various worlds and
industries. With this in mind, lets take a look at some of the reasons that distinguish individuals as great leaders.
1. They Can Inspire Trust from Those Around Them
Despite many of the trappings that are associated with leadership, the successful direction of others has nothing to do with status, titles or
seniority. Instead, it is driven by an innate ability to inspire trust from those around you, whether this is through honest communication or
physical example. If you are able to achieve this, you can influence others and maximize their potential while also enabling them to share in your
unique vision.
2. They Continually look to Evolve and Improve
Rather than wilting under the pressure of challenging tasks or exercises, those with leadership qualities tend to thrive and achieve greater heights.
Statistics also suggest that 70 % of leaders learned their most important lessons through challenging assignments and unexpected job changes,
and this underlines their willingness to constantly improve and use hardship as a way of driving their evolution.
3. They are Passionate and Focused
Maintaining the drive to continually evolve as an individual can be difficult, but leaders can often rely on their passion and focus when negating
difficult times. Heartfelt passion provides them with the motivation to keep going when they face considerable challenges, for example, while an
ability to maintain focus ensures that their positive energy is used constructively. Such enthusiasm is also authentic and infectious, meaning that it
will draw others to share in your goals.

4. They Take Ownership of Strategic and Mission Critical Tasks

The world is littered with fascinating tales from our intrepid entrepreneurs, with one concerning Richard Branson particularly interesting. After
being challenged by his aunt that he couldnt learn to swim during a family holiday, Branson urged his father to pull over on the way home and
jumped into a nearby river before swimming to shore. He won the bet, and underlined the fearless nature that leaders must adopt if they are to
succeed over time . In business terms, this translates into a willingness to take ownership of strategic and mission critical tasks before executing
these under extreme pressure.
5. They are Never Satisfied
Richard Branson is particularly interesting as an entrepreneur, as he clearly embodies many of the traits required for natural leadership. Not only
is he fearless when conceiving ideas and bringing them to fruition, but he is also never satisfied and constantly looks to embark on new and
exciting projects. This ethos is also reflected in the way in which specific work tasks and projects are approached, as true leaders never stand still
and are always seeking future growth opportunities, however they may arise.
6. They are Driven by the Fear of Failure
The fear of failure is an often discussed psychological concept, although it is also misunderstood in many instances. Although it can be
detrimental if this fear becomes all-consuming, true leaders use this as an engine to drive their endeavors and achieve future success. This fear
then becomes a purposeful motivational tool, and one which has the potential to drive greater levels of effort and output. Great leaders can also
put this psychological outlook into action, by maintaining this drive even after they have failed or fallen short of their expectations.
7. They Communicate Openly and with Humility
While leadership is a serious subject, the greatest practitioners throughout history have always had a keen sense of wit and humor. Think of the
great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, for example, whose humorous quips and quotations are legendary and have managed to transcend
generations. Wittiness is particularly important, as it showcases humility and an appreciation for self-depreciation, which in turn eliminates status
and social classes. It is also an entry point into an honest and open relationship, where leaders are able to speak authoritatively and also listen
intently to others needs.

10 Things a Real Man Does When Hes in a Relationship

Some women feel a Real Man doesnt existthat he is impossible to find. Other women do not want someone like him. On the other hand,
some men think they are the very definition of a Real Man. Other men feel there is no such thing. One thing is true, though: Those men who
think they are the very definition of a Real Man and those who think they are not are both very often wrong.
If you want to know if you are a real man or are in a relationship with a real man, watch the actions. A real man behaves so different from the
selfish frat boy types you see everywhere that you cant fail to notice the difference. He is a gentlemangood for more than just the first few
months. Importantly, a real man does things so well when he is in a relationship that you just have to love him and his style.
1. A real man loves and respects his woman for who she is.
He might not love her all the time, but he loves her. Not just her body, her possessions and her status, but all of her! Hes aware that as beautiful
as her body is now, physical beauty fades. He therefore focuses his love and attention on her true beauty, which is found within her sensibilities
and personality. He treats her like a lady, with dignity and respect. He doesnt mind cooking her favorite meal, taking her out to wine and dine
and paying the bills. He also expects love and respect from her.
2. A real man commits to the relationship fully.
He doesnt cheat. He is loyal to his partner and knows that relationships take hard work to keep strong and healthy. His affection to his woman is
a full-time commitment. He nourishes and strengthens the relationship through ongoing, honest communication and team work. When you are
with a real man, you know you can trust him. He will stay faithful no matter what and expects you to do the same.
3. A real man protects his partner physically and emotionally.
Not that a woman cant protect and defend herself, but he is there for her anyway. He protects her in different ways, including providing financial
security and comforting her and making her feel everything will be okay. He is ready to throw a good punch if necessary to defend her from
physical aggressors. However, he thinks before he acts. He never makes a move until he is sure all details and specifics are in order. His moves
are calculated, deliberate and assured. Abuse of any kind is never an issue when you are with him. He is considerate and treats everyone kindly.
4. A real man fulfills his partner mentally and sexually.
He knows the majority of time in any relationship is spent doing nonphysical, nonsexual things. Besides whispering to her how beautiful she is or
how he is going to make hot, passionate love to her when he gets back home in the evening, he also engages her in meaningful discussions about
life, plans with her for the future, and cracks jokes to lighten and liven moments together. He displays an awareness, intelligence and sensitivity
that makes his actions not only timely, but also genuinely charming.

5. A real man takes the first initiativehe leads.

Thats because he wears the pants in the relationship. Of course, the pants are picked out by his woman, but he is still the leader. He steps forward
and addresses issues in the relationship boldly. He does not wait for the woman to solve problems. If he is not sure how to address an issue, he
seeks help or advice. Some men play it safe and avoid taking the lead because they dont want to be criticized, but not a real man. A real man
says, Ill handle it, and takes the initiative to solve the issue in his way.
6. A real man steps up and makes the tough decisions.
He knows real men are decisive and he makes decisions in the relationship. He does not leave every other decision to his partner. When making
decisions, he seeks to understand her views (and that of other concerned parties) and is flexible enough to factor in those other views in his
decisions. He does not seek to control people, but rather to improve their situation. If you are reluctant to make decisions, you are likely selfconscious and afraid of making mistakes. Women dislike indecisive, cowardly men.
7. A real man takes responsibility for his actions and decisions.
He does not shift blame (especially to his partner) or try to defend his mistakes. He simply acknowledges when he has made a mistake,
apologizes for it, learns from it and works to make it right. Saying, I am sorry, is not a big deal to him. He knows it doesnt make him any less
of a man to say it. In fact, saying hes sorry makes him more of a man because it demonstrates he has the confidence, courage and integrity to
admit his faults and seek to correct them.
8. A real man speaks his mindalways.
He is not afraid or timid to say whats on his mind. He will say no without fear whenever he doesnt agree with something. He will debate you on
topics he is not comfortable with without losing his cool. He will be straightforward and talk to you as an equal, then allow you to make your own
conclusions or take whatever action you wish. This does not mean he is indifferent or treats women badly. He just doesnt agree with her on
everything. He knows a Yes-man is no man at all.
9. A real man stands up for the relationship.
Sometimes friends, family and even total strangers ask inappropriate questions or make inappropriate remarks about your relationship, such as
saying you are not a good couple. In such cases, a real man stands up for himself and defends the legitimacy and integrity of his relationship.
Even when he is among his peers, he speaks up and stands his ground in defense of his relationship. This proves he can express himself in the
presence others, protect his woman and act like a grown man.
10. A real man pursues other passion(s) that dont involve his partner.
He has enough going on in his life to keep him busy. That means he is, at least, passionate about one other thing besides his relationship. The
relationship does not define him. He will give you your space and you must give him his. He is a confident, ambitious go-getter. Hes a real man!

5 Foundations Every Successful Relationship Needs

Having a happy and successful relationship can be a struggle.
It seems that all too often, our relationships go downhill over time, and we are left to wonder why cant things
just be the way they used to be?.
Foundations are the key to maintaining all the goodness in your relationship. They will determine the quality and
success of your relationships years down the track.
A house must be built on solid foundations if it is to last. The same principle applies to man - Sai Baba
If you use the following foundations in your relationship, you will have an incredibly long-lasting, happy and
successful relationship.
1. Laugh together
Laughter is a very powerful thing!
Did you know that laughter is even used as a form of therapy? This is because it has such a positive effect on us.
When you laugh with your partner, it shows that you enjoy each others company, feel positive towards one another and actually like each other.
It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose
either. - Wayne Dyer
Thats right, laughter is a choice! And it involves choosing to feel happy towards each other, and not angry or negative.
All too often you see couples who are never happy when they are together. They have become frustrated and are used to each other. And sadly,
they lose the excitement and the appreciation they once shared for each other.
If you can relate to this, and would like to bring life and joy back into your relationship, then chose laughter.
Choose to make your partner laugh at least once a day.
If you want to, you can even think of it as relationship therapy, since laughing is a real form of therapy!
2. Know each others love language
Did you know that we all have different love languages?
Love languages are the different ways that we all communicate and understand love.

Your love language and that of your partner can be as different as Chinese and English!
So it is absolutely essential that you learn your partners love language.
We must be willing to learn our spouses love language if we are to be effective communicators of love - Dr Gary Chapman
Here are the 5 different love languages:

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Receiving gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

We all have one or two major love languages.

Here is an example of the importance of understanding your partners love language:

If your love language is physical touch, a kiss will speak louder than 1000 words but,

If your love language is words of affirmation, one kind or affirming word will speak louder than 1000 kisses

You might be showing love to your partner in every way that you know how and still, they might be telling you that you dont love them enough.
Well, its no secret anymore! You need to learn their love language.
3. Understand love as an action
As you can probably tell from the above point, love is an action.
Love is understanding how your partner feels loved, and then doing it.
People often think that love is a feeling, and that once the feeling disappears there is little hope for their relationship.
Well its absolutely not true!
Love is a verb. Love the feeling is a fruit of love, the verb Stephen Covey
This quote shows us that feeling in love is just as much of a choice as Loving as an action.
When you choose to love your partner (even if they didnt do anything to deserve it), you are showing them real love. Love, that is unconditional
and that does not rely on them loving you first.
If you view love as a feeling, you will both be waiting and waiting and you still wont feel it.
So understand love as an action and a choice, and then do it! You will have an incredibly happy and fulfilling relationship because of it.
4. Dont cross the line
This is one of the most important things to remember for a happy and successful relationship.
There are certain things that we never want to say or do to our partner. These are things that you would consider crossing the line.

Maybe for you crossing the line means:

Losing your temper

Yelling or screaming at your partner

Saying I hate you

Saying something unkind to your partner

Using manipulation to get what you want

Going to sleep while being angry at your partner

Not saying sorry when you know you should have

Getting aggressive towards your partner

Bringing your partner down because you were angry

These are all damaging things for a relationship, but if you ask any child Do your parents do any of these things most of them would
probably say yes to a number of them.
My theory is that once you cross the line, it becomes easier and easier to do it again and again.
You might not like to do those things but in the heat of an argument if you have already said I hate you once before, it becomes a LOT easier
to say it again.
If you want a happy and successful relationship, try really hard to not cross the line.
Your relationship will be so much better off for it and you will stand a better chance at actually liking each other years down the track.
5. Apologize often
We all make mistakes. We all say and do damaging things to our relationship.
We are simply human.
Successful relationships rely on us admitting when we are wrong and then moving past it.
Apologizing makes the process of moving on 1000% times faster and easier.
When we dont apologize when we know we should, we are being proud.
Love is not prideful.
In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes - John Ruskin
To have a successful relationship, apologize often so that you dont make the mistake of being proud.
Well, thats it for the 5 foundations every relationship needs to have. If you use these foundations, the chances of having an incredibly happy,
long-lasting and successful relationship will increase astronomically. Good luck!

20 Things Every Man Should Learn to Be a Respectable Person

A respectable man is one who not only respects himself, but is respected by the world he lives in. The more you can live as a man whom others
actually want to be around, the more respectable you will become. There are no fancy tricks or shortcuts to become a better man, but these 20
things remind you of how you can be a more respected individual, right now.
1. The Way You Dress
I recently read an article on the importance of male dress code and dating. The women in the article stated that it is a turn off to go out with a man
who thinks dressing up is putting on a collared shirt. You dont have to wear the latest fashion trends or expensive clothes, but look presentable,
go the extra mile, show you care, and take pride in what you wear.
2. Your Physical Health
You dont need to be a bodybuilder or marathon runner. A little exercise can go a long way and its important to show that you care about your
body. If you dont exercise at all, start by taking a 20-minute walk. Then perhaps join a gym, fitness class or local softball team. Good health also
includes going to the doctor, dentist, and eye professional.
3. Your Diet
Like fitness, you dont have to follow the latest trend or fad, but do your best to eat well. Mostly eat what makes your body feel good probably
more protein than carbs, coupled with fruits and vegetables. Try to eat less junk. Maybe try something new or learn how to cook a new meal.
Invite your friends over and offer to cook them dinner. I love trying new ethnic foods and the diverse flavors they offer.
4. Your Reading Habits
If all you do is play video games and watch TV at night, please pick up a book. Reading fuels your imagination. You dont have to brag about
what you read, but it can be a great way to add value in conversations. Read about topics you love it shows you have other interests and keeps
your mind active. Plus, its a good way to wind down at night.
5. Your Awareness of the World
Nobody likes a political snob, or a complete ignoramus. You dont need to watch the news every night, because most of it is garbage anyway! For
some, a comedy news show is all it takes to keep up with current events. It is important to have a basic knowledge of whats happening in the
world, but choose the best way to get the important stuff.

6. Your Passion and Interests

There are some people who live what I call the extreme life, which they often describe as sick, gnarly, or stoked. Life is an adventure but
we dont all need to live on the edge (or even appear to be). Simply be passionate about something and be proud of it. Learn something new that
you never took the time to learn. Maybe its a new language or a new skill.
7. How You Treat a Woman
This ranges from opening doors for women, to speaking highly of women, to never putting women down. Also, make ladies feel special in
whatever way that may be. This also means being affectionate towards your girlfriend or spouse and showing her how much you love her
because, as men, we often forget to actually communicate how we feel about her. Also, tell your mom you love her!
8. You Take Risks
I say this with caution. Dont let your testosterone get the best of you and do more than you can handle. Take smart risks. If we never took any
risks, we wouldnt learn how to adapt to situations and accept defeat. Its okay to fail when you take risks look at it as a lesson, rather than
detrimental to your ego.
9. You Practice Sound Money Management
A specific dollar amount of money doesnt matter. Whats important here is actually living within your means not flashing money around
and understanding the basics of finance. Educate yourself on money and treat it with respect. Be honest with your financial situation and find
ways you can make money work for you.
10. You Mind Your Manners
Be polite and be authentic. Remember what your mom told you? Actually say thank you and chew with your mouth closed. Dont be a bully.
Dont yell at others. Dont be aggressive. Live the Golden Rule by treating other people the way you want to be treated. This doesnt mean you
are a pushover, but it means that you treat others with dignity and respect.
11. Your Real World Experience
In other words, practice what you preach. Get yourself out there and try new things. Are you just reading about advice or are you actually living
that advice? It doesnt matter if you dont succeed at everything you try. The point is to experience the world and share that experience with
others.
12. You Get Out and Travel
Get out there and travel somewhere new! It can be a small road trip or can be a trip around the world. When you travel, it gets you out of your
comfort zone and you learn something new, every time. Plan your travel around things that really interest you. Again, you dont have to go
extreme. There are tons of ways to travel and its a great way to break out of your routine. Plus, it makes for a great story!
13. You Express Gratitude
A respectable man is grateful for what he has in life. For some, spirituality or religion is the path they take. If thats not you, simply express what
you are grateful for each and every day. Try to come up with new things you are grateful for and challenge yourself to let other people know how
important they are to you.
14. You Practice Volunteerism
This is a broad definition. Simply put, I define it as giving your time without expectation of anything in return. Give some of your time to help a
friend in need. Offer to teach someone something for free. Its not always about money. Do something nice for a stranger or sign up to volunteer
for an event. An added bonus to is that you actually do get something in return it gives you a sense of purpose and it makes you feel good.
15. You Are Capable of Love
This includes yourself. Be capable of loving yourself just the way you are. When you can love yourself first, you can love others more readily. Be
open to expressing love to others. Give someone a hug (even if its a man hug). Embrace others and act from a place of love, not from a place of
fear or hate.
16. Your Humor
A respectable man can laugh at himself and laugh with others. Make people laugh, but not at somebodys own expense. I love to crack jokes to
lighten up the mood or make someone feel better about themselves. You can also redirect the humor back to yourself to break the ice in
conversations. Women love when you can make them laugh and for some it comes easy, for others it takes practice.

17. You Can Negotiate

You dont have to be a sleazy salesman or an experienced attorney. Its important to be prepared to get what you want and to know when you are
being taken advantage of. The best way to do this is to educate yourself before you need to negotiate. Its also important to respect the other
person involved. Also, think of negotiating as an important skill in any relationship. When you see the other persons side, it makes it easier to
satisfy everyones needs.
18. You Smile
They say that a good smile is the window to someones soul. Smiling is contagious and people love to see a good smile. That being said, make
sure you are taking care of your teeth. The other day I saw this UV teeth whitening product that nobody needs to buy! Just take care of your
mouth and go to the dentist regularly, because nobody wants bad breath.
19. Your Ego
Its often easy for us men to feel threatened by others or have to somehow prove our manliness to the world. We can be respectable, confident
men, without always having to be loud, right, and/or pushy. Actually, a bigger ego represents bigger insecurities that others can often see right
through.
20. You Think Critically
Yes, its important to be able to problem solve. When you workout your brain to solve real-life, complex problems, its easier to come up with
better ideas when future problems arise. Some use Lumosity and others challenge themselves to come up with new business ideas. Its important
to make your brain sweat. Sometimes you might gain a new perspective that can add massive value to an otherwise improbable situation.
The key to these lessons is practicing them every day. There is not one method that is better than the other, but just do more of what works for
you. In fact, there are many ways in which we can subtly become a more respected member of society, without acting like someone were not. I
encourage you to practice more of what works in learning how to become a more respectable man.

This Is What Being In A Relationship Really Means

If humans would have the inherent characteristic to be alone and happy, perhaps the population would be a lot less
and each one us would be occupying our own personal island. However, fortunately and unfortunately, we are
highly evolved individuals, for whom to love and to be loved is a very basic necessity. Hence being in a relationship
is an option which we do choose, to ensure our Happily ever after life.
But, with time only the relationship is left behind, with little or no happiness. This happens because we tend to forget what a relationship really
means.
This is What Being In A Relationship Really Means :
1. Having faith, freedom and friendship
You need to have faith. A constant nagging or a skeptical attitude will ruin the relationship. You need to have the freedom to speak for yourself,
freedom to follow your heart and the freedom to make your own choices, while you are enjoying the relation with a bondage of friendship. Being
in a relation means a balance between the freedom and bondage.
2. Giving and getting the time
Women want someone to understand them whereas men often want someone to connect to them through watching a football match or playing
video games with them. Hence giving and getting time, is one important aspect of being in a relationship.
3. Being Patience
It takes time to give and get time, so be patient. Accepting your partner with his/her imperfections, needs patience. Things will be perfect, with a
little patience. There is no point in having daily fights over routine habits of your partner. He/she needs time to change himself/herself.
4. Being Able to Share
Sharing feelings, emotions, finances, thoughts, words and actions enables you to spend some quality time with your partner. This makes you feel
complete in your own world of two people. When you share, you connect. When you connect, then the relationship begins.
5. Being the Strength
Everyone has a time in life when they feel low. This is when being with your partner makes you stronger. When someone believes in you, when
someone motivates you, inspires you, strengthens you, then you realize what being in a relationship really means. It means being strong together,
living as a team.
6. Love
Being in relationship means being in love. Love means acceptance : Praise the good, accept the flaws and provide the inspiration to change. Love
is neither a moment nor a feeling, it is the existence of togetherness.
7. Being yourself
You dont need to act or be someone else just to impress your partner. Being in a relationship means being yourself. Everyone is different and
being in a relation allows you to celebrate the mutual difference!
8. Being the best version of yourself
Being in a relationship means that you partner not only accepts you the way you are, but also inspires you to be the best version of yourself. Most
of the successful people owe their success to the daily inspirations provided to them by their partners.
9. Allowing yourselves to miss each other
Go for a vacation with your friends, Find time for your own passions. Being together 24/7 doesnt help much because it is important that you
allow yourself to miss your partner.
10. Being an individual
Have your own identity. Dont be afraid to try new things just because your partner is not there with you. Have your own identity. This will allow
you to share a different perspective with your partner. Life is interesting only because of the differences and the individuality.

Hence being in a relationship means to live, to love, to smile, to exist with joy!!
There is certainly a way to sort out every difference, you just need the will and the faith strong enough, to make the relationship fruitful. You need
to remember, that you enter into a relationship to be happy , and you must be!!

15 Signs Youre Going to Have a Great Partner Even If You Dont Feel You Are

Its the holiday season, a time when singletons either:

a) Drop not-so-subtle commitment hints to people they are only lukewarm about, b) Scowl at the overtly-cheesy nature of jewelry ads, or c)
Something in between.
If the shorter days and colder nights are making you feel youll be alone forever, dont despair! Whether or not you have prospects on the
horizon, there are 15 signs that you are going to meet a kickass partner based on who you are, what you do, and what you dont do. It takes a
great partner to meet a great partner.
Do you have what it takes? Read on to find out:
1. You are adult-ish.
Being an adult doesnt mean you have all your shit together. Far from it! It means youre responsible for your life. Whether that be paying your
bills or saying youre sorry, you can take personal responsibility. You are able to reflect on the past and take action toward your future. It also
helps if you havent killed all of your houseplants (yet).
2. You know what you want in a partner.
Sounds obvious, but people who have a fuzzy sense of what they want only get a fuzzy version of that they want. You dont just think, I want a
partner who is intelligent. You know what you want that intelligence to look like. I want a partner who reads about topics he cares about, is on
top of current events, and has enough spatial awareness to help me build Ikea furniture. You know that when you define it, youll find it.
3. Youre the right kind of selfish.
You love yourself and prioritize your self-care. Its a myth that we need to place our partners over ourselves. If you run yourself into the ground
taking care of everyone but yourself, youre likely to get resentful, drained, and pissy. Self-love isnt selfish, its the reason youll attract the right
person in the first place. So go ahead, get a little selfish!
4. You know yourself.
You know what lights you up. You know what pisses you off. You know that soy milk makes you queasy. Why does this matter? People with selfawareness are more likely to identify the right partner, get their needs met, and find happiness in a relationship.
5. You arent looking for anyone to fix you.
You have priorities, goals, and hobbies. Whether you enjoy cooking or collecting comic books, taking dance classes or taking over the world, you
have a life thats your own. You arent waiting around to get saved. You arent expecting someone to fix you because you know youre not
broken.
6. You arent trying to fix anyone.
Its a fact: You have baggage and so will your partner. And while it would be great to change peoples annoying habits, you know how to accept
people for who they are rather than who you want them to be. Your ability to compromise or cut ties will not only bring the right person in, itll
help you to weed out the wrong one.

7. You are emotionally and physically available.

This one is huge. Youve created space in your life for a partner. No, that doesnt mean a drawer in your dresser. It means you are able and willing
to give and receive love. Youre prepared to close one door before you open another. Bluntly put, youre willing to stop sleeping around and
commit. People who are good partners are the ones who actually want to be in a relationship.
8. Youre a good listener.
You can take in what your friend says without simultaneously contemplating your rebuttal. You can muster the self-control to not interrupt your
mother mid-sentence. This goes well beyond being able to listen to others to include actually being present. Ultimately, if you can go to lunch
with a friend without incessantly checking Facebook, youre already better than most!
9. You communicate productively.
Theres a big difference between communication and productive communication. You state how you feel without playing games or being passiveaggressive. You say what you want instead of what you dont want. You know that saying Id like for us to visit my parents for the holidays,
yields better results than I really dont want to spend another Christmas with your crazy mother.
10. Youre okay with being flawed (even if you dont like it).
You get that as much as we might try, we cant always act and look perfect all the time. Youre willing to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and
occasionally look like an idiot. You accept that being yourself and receiving love yields a better outcome than being someone else and walking on
eggshells.
11. You know the meaning of equality.
You know that fair isnt always tit for tat. 50/50 in a relationship doesnt mean you split the bill. It means that youre willing to let things average
out over the course of the relationship. Youre likely to find a great partner if youre cool with saying Ill pay this time, you get the next.
12. You like to win, but it wont be WWIII if you dont.
Whether its leaving the last slice or sucking it up and asking for directions, you dont think you need to prove yourself at everything. Wow!
Youre ahead of the game.
13. Your conflict style doesnt involve bloodshed.
When you fight with people, you fight to fix instead of fighting to win. You get that finding a resolution is better than a power play or opportunity
for payback (despite how good you think it might feel).
14. You know how to apologize.
You might not like apologizing, but you can do it. You dont make excuses or try to cajole others into taking responsibility for your issues. You
own it sincerely without making excuses. You then learn from it. And the flipside is also true: you can forgive others when you receive an
apology.
15. You cultivate gratitude.
You say thank you. You are appreciative of all that you have, all that you are, and all others do for you. Nobody wants a partner who takes them
for granted.
So kick back and relax. Youre awesome and on your way to finding someone as equally awesome as you are. And being single for the
holidays has plenty of perks. You wont have to fake a smile when his mother gives you the ugliest sweater known to humanity. Again.

The Number One Reason Youre Still Single

I hate to be the one to break it to you but if youre still single and dont want to be there is really only one reason why. Now, you might need to sit
down for this one. Are you ready? Here we go!
The number one reason is
You just havent found the right one yet.
OK, let that sink in for a minute.

My guess is that you were probably expecting a different answer, right? Like something that is wrong with you? Maybe youre not pretty enough
or masculine enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, not [insert your own negative criticism here].
Well, thats not actually the truth; the truth is that you just havent found them yet.
I know we havent met before, but Im guessing youre pretty awesome, that there is nothing wrong with you and that you are possibly your own
worst critic. Dont believe me? Check out this video: What do strangers think of you?
So do yourself a huge favor, cut the negative thoughts, get happy and start loving yourself and your single freedom. The right one will come
along in their own time. In the meantime, here is my list of eight things you can be doing while you wait for Mr or Ms Right. The best part is that
its all about you, so get creative and add your own in Id love to hear what youve included.
1. Stop waiting for them and start living in the now
Its a good idea to know what you are looking for in a partner. If you dont, how will you know when youve found him or her? But, if you are
spending every waking moment day dreaming about them, then there is a big chance that you are wasting your valuable time right now. Instead of
thinking about them, why not think about you? What goals do you want to achieve in the next 12 months? What places do you want to see?
Which people you want to visit? Dream them up and then make a plan to achieve them. Because guess what? Youre single and you can do
whatever you want!
2. Learn to love yourself
There is only ever going to be one of you. You are unique and special. Be proud of who you are and all the things you have achieved. You dont
need someone else to make you feel loved and you dont need someone else to make you feel whole. You already have everything you need right
now to live a happy, healthy and full life. So dont be hard on yourself, learn to love yourself exactly the way you are.
3. Learn to love your single freedom
Dr Phil said it best: It is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have
with yourself. I cant agree more. Being single has so many benefits; its your chance to be selfish and do all the things you want to do. So get
out there and enjoy it! Not sure where to start? Try these: 10 Things You Must Do When Youre Single.
4. Listen to the story youre telling yourself
I recently wrote a blog post about listening to the stories that we tell ourselves. Anything you say thats really negative is not helping you. If you
call yourself a freak magnet, or tell yourself all the good men/women are taken, or that you are never going to find someone, then your
chances of this happening are very high. We attract what we put out there to the world. So change that story and attract something new.
5. Make time for your friends and family
When the time comes and you do find someone amazing, chances are you will have less time for many of your favorite people. So make time for
your friends and family now by planning holidays to see them or trips together. Hang out and do things with the people who are closest to you.
6. Get out and try something new
Have you been wanting to try something different lately? Is there something youve always wanted to do but havent had a chance to do it yet?
Well, go out and do it! No doubt it will make you feel incredible. Dont stop at one thing either. Make up your bucket list and start crossing things
off now.
7. Set yourself a big goal and spend some time each day making it happen
It could be a career change, it could be overseas travel, it could be starting your dream business. Dont hold yourself back. Write down that big
goal and then work on it each and every day. Who knows what you can achieve. How exciting!
8. Trust the process
Have you ever listened to your friends who are married or in a relationship? Often they have a story about all the losers they met prior to finding
their loved one. Thats because we all need to go through the process, to learn our own lessons and meet a few oddballs before the universe brings
us the one were meant to be with. You are exactly where you need to be right now, so trust the process.
Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else. Unknown

Stop looking for the negatives and start loving all the positives that come with your single freedom. Chances are when you get a little bit
distracted and start achieving some big goals, the right one might just come along.

10 Ways to Prevent Cheating in Relationship

Cheating in relationships is rampant. We can assume most partners will cheat at some point in a committed relationship. Why? Im going to
answer that question a number of ways, and then teach you how to guard against it happening. But first, some statistics. The U.S. divorce rate
for first marriages is near 50%, and significantly higher if you include second and third marriages. Divorces dont necessarily involve cheating,
but the two are connected. Cheating is sometimes a cause of divorce and at other times as a symptom of a weakened relationship. An estimated
half of married partners cheat on their spouse. If you include other types of committed relationships, the percentage of cheating goes up.
I dont mean to imply that cheating is always a bad thing. Affairs can sometimes make a relationship stronger, as many in the affair recovery
movement can testify. Whereas a couple may have been neglecting their sex life, not paying enough attention to their emotional bond, or not
communicating honestly about needs and desires, an affair can sometimes spur a couple to get their act together and function more securely.
Cheating can sometimes be a way to end an unhealthy relationship, or gain clarity about what is truly fulfilling. An affair can be a way to make a
move in a stagnant relationship rather than hang out in limbo for years. But cheating is also generally a very painful experience for one or both
committed partners.
I also dont mean to imply that monogamous relationships are somehow better than other kinds of arrangements. To each his own. But by and
large, most people in the Western world still choose to function in mutually agreed-upon committed relationships. So it makes sense to explore
what prevents cheating and how to protect your relationship from it, or at least stack the odds in your favor. Especially because cheating can
have a negative effect not just on adults in relationship, but on young children who depend physically and emotionally on the stability of adult
relationships.

1. Have Agreements
Dr. Stan Tatkin, author of Wired for Love, has written on the importance of having explicit agreements. Everything that is assumed does not
really exist, he says. Agreements should be clear, and cover how to handle others advances, what information is shared (attraction to others),
and how quickly you tell each other about romantic or flirty experiences. There should be a conversation on what constitutes cheating, because
initially partners may not be on the same page. For example, one partner may think its fine to go out dancing with their friends, flirt with folks,
and maybe even have some innocent kisses on the dance floor, while their partner may consider that behavior out of bounds. Partners can have
very different ideas on what constitutes an emotional affair, and if it qualifies as cheating.
2. Be a Rock Star
The best defense against cheating is a great relationship. When our needs are met physically and emotionally, we dont have as much interest
to look elsewhere. Examine how well you meet your partners wants and needs, and how well they meet yours. Make sure to step it up in areas
that are weak, and to communicate honestly about what you need to feel fulfilled and fully happy.
3. Tend Your Garden
Do things together that challenge you to grow together. We all change as we age. Its not enough to put our partnerships on cruise control and
expect them to last. How are you going to keep up with your partners changing thoughts, preferences, ideas and desires? How do they keep up
with yours? Read books together, attend seminars, or find a good online relationship education program to keep your partnership on the cutting
edge of moving forward so you are continually discovering one another.
4. Understand your Partner
Sounds simple. But its not. Your partner has all kinds of secret thoughts and feelings they probably dont tell you, or possibly anyone. You need
to be safe enough to your partner that you get the full skinny. How? Encourage honesty with alot of compassion and no judgment. Find out
the few things about your partner that no one else knows. Use that information to be on the inside every day in terms of their experiences in the
relationship, at work, and with themselves. Know things their mom or friends dont even know. This knowledge makes you valuable in a way
few others can replicate.
5. Dont Be Jealous, Be Better
If you suspect your partners attention may be drifting elsewhere, it may push them further away to become angry and critical with them.
Jealousy is natural, but try to focus on wooing your partner even more with your talents and capabilities. Give them more of a reason to
love and value you. Being upset with them may frighten them temporarily into being more careful, but its not an effective long-term strategy,
and often doesnt work in the short term either. You cant keep a partner around reliably or happily using threats and fear. Only the positive
reasons for being together hold up as glue that will protect you from others getting in on the action.
6. Do Occasional Counseling
Its the 21st Century. The old-time stigma of seeing a couples counselor is long-gone. Find a good, capable therapist, and see them for positive
and pro-active relationship support. Go in before you have major issues. After is often too late for counseling to be fully effective. We all have
blind spots in the way are with others. Some of those come from our family history, such as the things our parents tended to do in relationship, or
more importantly, what they did not do with one another. Our map of healthy, secure relationship is usually only as good as what we have
seen and experienced first-hand. Counseling, even a few sessions here and there, can help us develop a more comprehensive map of how to
tend to our partnerships and share life together more enjoyably.
7. Justify Your Existence
You have to be the go-to person. Anything you dont provide in terms of emotional, intellectual and physical needs, your partner will look
to others for. And they should. In other words, we all seek to meet our needs, and if our partner isnt there in certain ways, we find others. Those
others sometimes form the basis for an affair, or an emotional bond that replaces our partner, or takes energy away from the partnership that it
really needs to grow and adapt. Think of being a partner as applying for a job every day. Why should your partner keep you around and not
fire you? What do you do that someone else cannot easily do instead? You have to be so good that others cant really compete. This is, more than
anything, the secret to preventing separations and break-ups, and it works much better than fear and guilt.
8. Why Not Cheat?
We are not wired for monogamy. Biologically, there are many imperatives to cheating, beginning with the added immune system and cell
protections that come from mixing the gene pool. So why stay true? Well, there have to be excellent reasons for staying committed. What could
those be? After all, the physical lust center of the brain really thrives on novelty, strangers and the exotic. Left to its own devices, that part of the
brain may act on desires with others besides our partner. Think of the benefits of commitment: A partner who knows you better than anyone else;
someone you have shared history and life memories with; someone you can rely on; someone who, when our beauty fades, our youthfulness is
gone, and our health and sex drive diminish, still wants to be our companion and share life together; someone to grow old with. You and
your partner need to remind yourselves of the reasons for commitment so the animal part of your brain doesnt run unchecked.

9. Limit Opportunity
Affairs and cheating are primarily an issue with the strength and satisfaction of our current relationship, so its always best to look there
first before blaming others or circumstance. But in second place as a contributing culprit is opportunity. Affairs and cheating are often a
function of opportunity. Traveling with a co-worker, being at a party late without your partner, spending lots of time alone, drinking too much,
or having independent social circles and activities can create opportunities. So what to do? Pay extra attention to these types of situations. Try to
do things together, so others dont have as much access. Stay in touch during the day, and text if one of you is out late at night. Check in while
traveling, and send loving care packages with your traveling partner so they feel connected to you. If others begin to text or call your partner too
much, its fair to ask that some of that energy be directed back into the primary relationship.
10. Push the Envelope
Talk frequently and openly about sex, fantasies and desires. Try new hobbies together to keep things fun, humorous and exciting. Laugh
together, wrestle. Try an unusual class. Choose TV shows to watch together youve never seen. Ask other couple friends for ideas on trips and
local experiences they have liked. Try new things in the bedroom. Do things that are a little embarrassing, but still within your comfort zone.
New, exciting activities, especially in the area of emotional and physical intimacy, keep your interest kindled and help you bond.

The best protection against cheating and affairs is ensuring your relationship is too awesome to mess with. Being attractive to your partner
every day works better than fear, guilt or threats in maintaining the security of your commitment. Keeping things fresh in your friendship and
love life additionally stimulate the brain in ways that maintain attention within the primary partnership. And if you suspect your partner may be
looking elsewhere for an erotic shot in the arm or a deeper emotional friendship than what you typically provide, take steps to up your game
rather than threaten to leave or become too critical. Sometimes, moments of interest in other people and experiences can tip you off to where you
need to turn on the jets as a partner or couple. Improving your relationship needs to be a constant. Keep the focus on making yourselves
stronger, not worrying so much about others and the world out there.

This Is Why Electronics Dont Belong in Your Bedroom

Do you often find yourself up late at night, basking in the cool glow of your television or smartphone? If so, your sleep quality may be taking a
hit.
Several recent studies have shown that these devices actually steal sleep from kids and adults alike. What makes this a problem is that more
people than ever are using electronics in the bedroom. Heres a few stats demonstrating the pervasiveness of the issue:

The 2014 Sleep in America poll by the National Sleep Foundation estimates that 89% of adults and 75% of
children have at least one electronic device in their bedrooms.

Their 2011 poll found that in the hour before bed, up to 95% of adults regularly use tech and electronic
devices.

Younger people are more likely to use smartphones, laptops and play video games, while older adults are
more likely to watch TV.

Pew Research polls also found that two-thirds of adults take their smartphones to bed (that jumps up to
90% for 18 to 29 year-olds!).

Read on to learn why you should banish electronics from your bedroom and for tips on sleeping better after your digital detox.
Five Ways Electronics Affect Your Sleep and Health
Electronics work on your physical body and on your mind, which can affect your sleep schedules and contribute to sleep deprivation. Here are
five of the most important ways electronic devices like smartphones, computers and TV alter your slumber.

1. Blue Light Suppresses Melatonin

It is well-established that light plays a powerful role in the regulation of our internal circadian rhythms. Electronics like televisions, smartphones,
tablets, computers and even LED lights emit blue light, which is believed to be particularly important when it comes to sleep.
Recent research from Harvard and University of Toronto researchers found that light in the blue spectrum acts on our bodies by suppressing
natural melatonin. Since melatonin is the hormone that induces drowsiness, delaying its release means more time spent awake and greater
difficulty getting sleepy.
2. Stimulation and Stress Keep Your Mind Awake
Active and engaging electronics like tablets, laptops, smart phones, and televisions stimulate your mind and distract you from sleeping. A recent
Norwegian study correlated computer and mobile phone use before bed in particular with increased insomnia.
But, falling asleep is only part of the issue. In the 2011 NSF poll mentioned earlier, 10% to 20% of younger adults admitted to waking up
multiple times per week due to disturbances from their phones and 26% admitted to texting or emailing after initially going to sleep in the 2014
poll.
Waking up to check your phone in the middle of sleep can affect deep sleep and make it harder to get back to bed. And if checking those work
emails or social media accounts brings you stress, that can make it even more difficult to sleep.
3. Regularly Missing Sleep Sets the Stage for Weight Gain
While weight and obesity depend on several factors, sleep habits do appear to play a role according to research from the past few years.
One childhood study recently published in the BMC Public Health journal found overweight children slept less than normal weight kids, which
authors linked with chaos in the home as well as unchecked screen time, TVs in bedrooms and other factors.
Another Brigham Young University study found that young women with inconsistent sleep schedules were more likely to have higher body mass
index ratings than consistent peers. A large scale study of nurses also found that short sleep increased obesity risk over time.
It is believed that consistent sleep deprivation acts on the bodys physical metabolism and extra hours awake means extra hours to eat, both of
which can contribute to weight gain.
4. Delayed Sleep and Wake Lag Can Affect Health and Productivity
An Australian survey of teenagers found that greater use of electronics (including phones, computers and TV, but not radios) was associated with
greater delays to sleep/wake schedules and waking up later.
In the 2014 NSF poll, children who had electronic devices on at night in their rooms had the highest reports of fair to poor sleep, while those who
left electronics off had the highest reports of excellent sleep. Children who had electronics on sometimes also had lower average sleep duration
than kids whose electronics were off or not in their bedrooms.
In children, teens and adults alike, getting insufficient sleep is associated with impaired cognition and learning, impaired memory, impaired
decision making, daytime fatigue and a wide range of health problems over time.
5. Associating Your Bed with Other Activities Can Make Sleep Harder
Doing non-sleep activities in bed like watching TV, playing games, working or studying can be bad for sleep. Basically, the more things your
brain associates your bed with, the less it thinks of sleep when you are there.
Sleep hygiene experts recommend reserving the bed for rest only to train your mind for better sleep. If you cant sleep after several minutes, it is
better to get out of bed and do something like read or listen to music until you feel sleepy.
Detaching from Electronics and Sleeping Better
Here are a few helpful strategies for weaning yourself or your kids off of electronics in the hours before bed along with other recognized sleep
hygiene tips.

Institute a digital detox in your home.

Set an off limits time for televisions, computers, video games, tablets and cell phones, and have everyone check their smaller devices in a central
location if needed.
Kill the TV and dim lights two hours before bed.
In the hours before bedtime, start reducing bright lights and turning off the televisions. Consider swapping the bright lights in a couple of lamps
for reddish or orange-toned bulbs for better evening lighting. Harvard researchers also suggest wearing blue light-blocking glasses for night owls
and shift workers.
Turn phones to silent at night.
Make sure everyones phones are set to silent at night to avoid disturbances, especially if you feel like you must sleep with it nearby. If you are
worried about missing emergency phone calls, there are apps that will screen calls during certain times or block certain notifications until
morning so you can get undisturbed rest.
Swap electronics for other relaxation activities.
If you are worried about being bored without your gadgets at night, there are still many calming and non-electronic things you can do to wind
down. Read with dimmer light, journal about your day, try yoga or meditation, chill out to favorite songs, or find other ways to relax.
Tune up your sleep hygiene and bedtime routine.
Healthy sleep habits include sticking to regular bed and wake times, allowing for at least seven hours of rest per night, getting regular sunlight
and exercise during the day, keeping rooms cool, and limiting stimulants. A normal pre-bedtime routine can also help you get ready for sleep. A
routine might follow a pattern like: shower, get tomorrows outfit ready, sip some tea, read a little, brush your teeth, stretch, and then hop into
bed.
Reducing electronics at night might take a little getting used to, but the benefits of better sleep and a healthier body and mind are well worth it.
Remember, all of your e-mails, games and social media accounts will still be waiting for you in the morning!

6 Habits Of Highly Successful People Before Bedtime

Weve all heard the stories about the mega-successful who wake up early every day and conquer the world before most people put the coffee on.
But what about the other time of day that plays an equally important role? What are successful people doing right before bed? Do you want to
know the secret? They set themselves up to have an even more productive day tomorrow.
Here are six bedtime habits of highly successful people.
1. Read for an hour
Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates is an avid reader. Each night before bed, he spends an hour reading a book, ranging on topics from politics to
current events.
Aside from the obvious benefits of gaining new knowledge, reading daily has also been shown to reduce stress and improve memory. A 2009
study from the University of Essex revealed that reading for as little as six minutes a day can reduce stress levels by up to 68%.
Another big benefit from cracking open a good book on a nightly basis is that it can improve the long term health of your brain. Every time you
read, its like a mental workout for your mind. This study performed in Britain showed that people who stimulated their minds through activities
like reading, reduced cognitive decline by an average of 32% as they got older in age.

2. Unplug
After passing out from exhaustion and injuring her head to the tune of five stitches, Arianna Huffington has been an evangelist for unplugging.
Every night before bed, she puts her phone in another room so shes not distracted by it before bed. And science proves that she might be onto
something.
According to Dr Charles Czeisler, a professor of sleep medicine at Harvard University, the bright lights produced by our cell phone screens
disrupt our bodies natural sleep rhythm and actually trick our bodies into thinking its daytime. Those bright lights send a message to our brains
that prevents certain chemicals from being released, causing us to have a much harder time going to sleep. So, if you want a good nights rest,
stash your phone in another room.
3. Take a walk
The busy CEO of Buffer likes to unwind with a brisk walk right before bed. He uses his walks to turn off his thoughts about work, and slowly
work his self into a state of tiredness.
For a busy person always on the go, Joels late night walk routine could be perfect way to unwind after a stressful day. And aside from the
obvious health benefits of daily walk, there a couple of surprising bonuses that come along as well.
One study revealed that walking can increase creativity. When youre walking, your mind isnt working as vigorously, which opens up the free
flow of ideas. So if youve got a tough problem you havent been able to solve, maybe a nice, night time stroll is all you need to find the perfect,
creative solution.
4. Meditate
The media maven has long supported the idea of regular meditation. No doubt, Ms. Winfrey has a schedule that keeps her mighty busy, and what
better way to unwind at the end of a stressful day, than with a focused meditation session.
Theres often times a stigma surrounding meditation, and there has always been a debate as to whether mediation is actually helpful. But when a
2014 study took a look at over 19,000 cases involving mediation, the results were clear. Meditation was found to help reduce stress, anxiety,
depression, and pain. So regardless of ones view of mediation, you cant argue with the results.
5. Get creative
In 2006, Vera Wang stated to Fortune that her nightly routine includes, a fair amount of designing at least conceptually if not literally.
Sometimes, the quiet of the night can be the perfect remedy for a creative block.
Whats even more surprising is that theres a study that actually shows night time can be the perfect time for creativity, even if youre tired from a
long day. A study from Albion College revealed that, tasks requiring creative insight was consistently better during their nonoptimal times of
day..
So if youre a morning person (raises hand), then your most creative ideas will come right before bed. Researchers believe this is true because
your mind is less restrained at night. Your ability to make logical connections worsens, but it works in your favor because youre able to make
connections you wouldnt have been able to otherwise.
6. Plan the next day
The American Express CEO likes to manage his time, and he does so by ending his nights in a very simple way. He plans out three things he
wants to accomplish for the following day. That way, he can wake up in the morning, and get to work on his most important tasks, right away.
This study from the early 90s supports Chenaults strange addiction with planning. Researchers followed a group of students from their high
school years, until four years later at the end of their college careers. The researchers tested these students on their time management skills in high
school, and when they caught up with those students four years later, they made a shocking discovery.
The students with better time management skills, had higher college GPAs then their peers who had higher SAT scores. Basically, time
management played a bigger role in their academic success than actual scholastic aptitude.

5 Ways Not Getting Enough Sleep Hurts Your Health and Appearance
Are you a night owl or an early bird? It does not really matter which one you are, provided that you get enough sleep. The recommended dose is
about 7.5 hours a sleep but some people can thrive on less. It is also important that you have a regular sleep schedule which will benefit your
health.
Scientists and researchers have done quite a lot of work on why staying up late is bad for your health, so if you are starting to stay up late on a
regular basis, it might be a good idea to consider the following risks.
1. You may damage your immune system
Researchers at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center have been studying the effects of irregular sleeping patterns on our immune
system. They carried out experiments which show that an overproduction of T cells caused by irregularities in the wake sleep cycle can put the
immune system out of sync. That causes inflammation which is a perfectly normal reaction. But when this condition becomes chronic, this can
lead to all sorts of diseases which range from diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and rheumatoid arthritis to many others. The basic message from Dr.
Barry Sears book, called The Anti-Inflammation Zone: Reversing the Silent Epidemic Thats Destroying Our Health, is that total wellness is the
absence of inflammation.
2. You may damage your brain cells for good
How many times as a student did you stay up really late to prepare for a test? You probably loaded up with caffeine and various types of
stimulants to keep you awake. Scientists now have found that by depriving mice of sleep, the part of the brain responsible for staying alert and
thinking was irrevocably damaged. Sleeping extra long hours later did not repair the damage either.

In another experiment at MIT, the researchers found that sleep can actually help you to consolidate learning. By depriving your brain of this
essential rest, you are actually reducing your brains ability to learn.
3. You may gain weight
If you are worried about your weight, staying up late is not really a good idea. First of all, you are awake for that much longer. Hunger rears its
ugly head so you have to eat something.
But a much more important factor is your metabolism. It slows down when you do not get enough sleep. One survey found that people who were
getting by with just 6 hours a sleep a day were 30% more likely to become overweight than those who were getting the normal amount of 7 or 8
hours.
4. You may have more wrinkles
Staying up late and cutting back on sleep will not do your skin any good. The reason is a pretty simple one. One of the main hormones we
produce when stressed out is cortisol. This has been called the death hormone because it is linked to the decline of every cell in our body. In
addition, the more we age, the more cortisol we produce. The skin is in the frontline as the collagen (which makes up about 90% of your skin)
and keeps it firm, gets trounced by cortisol. The result is a lot more wrinkles, rather dull skin and more dark circles under the eyes.
One solution is to get more shut eye because when we sleep, we produce the HGH (human growth hormone) which actually helps to counter the
disastrous effects of the cortisol.
5. You are adding to your stress
The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America has provided some fascinating research on how lack of
sleep may alter your gene function. They have calculated that staying up late and getting less sleep has a deleterious effect on as many as 700
genes in the human body. This has a negative effect on your metabolism but more importantly on your reaction to stress. This ties in very well
with other research which shows that reducing sleep may also alter hormonal levels which limit our coping mechanisms with difficult emotional
experiences. All this builds up stress and anxiety.
As we have seen, staying up late is just not worth it. The best thing to guarantee a good nights sleep is to avoid upsetting the wake sleep cycle by
using an iPhone in bed. If you are worried about waking up to the sound of an awful alarm clock, forget it. All you have to do is buy a dawn
simulator clock which will gently wake you with a simulated natural sunrise very quietly. Sleep well!