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Manly Blog, Womanly Touch / Man Up!Artfully

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"Be a man!" "Man up!" "Do it like a man!" Thus shouts the men's magazine rack, splashed with
images of lubed bodybuilders and model-draped millionaires.
Frustrated with such depictions, alumna Kate Surwilo McKay (BA '03) and her husband, Brett, o f
Tulsa, Okla., set out to counter the male stereotypes of the superficial, macho brute and the Peter Panesque responsibility shirker with their blog, The Art of Manliness.
apitalrzrng"T)nthe-often-quirky "retrosexual'-movement, the McKays havetomed to the oldfashioned virtues of their grandfathers in an attempt to revive the manly virtues of excellence, resolve^ S^"integrityrdjsciplinerand sacrificer--^
"There've been a lot of articles these days [asking], 'What's happening with men? fs-there a"plaCe~

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for men in modern society?'" Kate explains. "A lot of people out there are feeling sort of lost: they don't
have a sense of purpose in their life, don't know how to live. They're really hungry for this kind of
knowledgehow to improve themselves, how to be a good person."

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Blending substance with zany humor over a vintage backdrop, the site often draws examples from^^^^^^^
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the-^Greatest Generation" ana appealrto the frontiersy and gentlemanly past. From career and social tips

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(like "How to Be a Gentleman at the Office") to demonstrations (like "How to Carve a Turkey Like a
Man"), the-slte
has hit'dn untapped niche ana reaches more than 135,000 subscribersracking up about 8.5
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million page views a month. Along with photos and ads dug up from the^past, illustrations a la 1950s lend

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the site an aged aesthetic W^fhtheMcK-aysreleasedtheirsecond bookrA^awvo/'/owafe.^^^

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amhtdvice on Livingthe Seven Manly Virtues, a thought-provoking companion to their first book. The Art^'
ef-Manliness: ClCtS'siC Skills and Manners for the Modern Marr'

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T04ielp-boysijeci)m'eTneTr; Kate and Brett address problems-by. prow

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One lighthearted article^ "Unleash the Power of the Na^^'Hiighlights how

Edison, JFK, Churchill, and Napoleon were all devoted nappers.-then-goes-on-tOuextol the benefits of

napping. Next tiie^^provide'a brief explanation of sleep cycles and how to tailor a nap to your needs. "It

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\d be awesome if offices took a cue from kindergarten and broke out cookies, milk, and nap mats once

a day," the McKays write. "Alas, in the real world it can be hard to catch some z's at work"so they

provide tips on how to squeeze a nap in. More-serious articles discuss finding one's calling in life and
dealing with the death of a loved one.
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with her master's in religion

from Oklahoma City University, was teaching as an adjunct professor, and Brett was a law student at the
University of Tulsa when he penned the debut article, "How to Shave Like Your Grandpa." Kate stepped in
to help after a few months, when the blog's demand got too much for Brett to handle alone.
With a mutual love of teaching, researching, and writing, they had planned on becoming full-time
professors. So when Brett suggested running the blog as a career instead of taking the bar exam. Kate was

more than a bit skeptical. "-'That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!' Mold hiiti.fYou need to concentrate
on your studies and graduate from law school at the top of your class'^arwlT was totally wrong about
that," she laughs. After three years juggling full-time jobs, the blog,ftheir first bookj an^their newborn %on^]
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they committed to the blog full time. A-nd-Srett^vasTescuetHrommkins the bar'
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Although guest writers frequent the blog with expertise on topics lixe dress, career, and survival, * ' '-'*^v
Kate and Brett write most of the articlesand they write them together, sending edits back and forth.
"Because of my interests, I tend to want to write more historical stuff or heavier philosophical things," says
Kate, who got her bachelor's in history at BYU. "But then Brett likes to write more about fun, man skills."
You can thank Kate for the meat of "Lessons in Manliness from Atticus Finch," while Brett ardently
describes his hands-on research learning how to throw a tomahawk.
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"We definitely choose a wide spectrum of topics." savs Kate. "One day we'll have'.'.-7-i"pirate
knowledge," Brett suppliefcy-"the next day^we'll have something about relationships and then how to fold a
pocket square and then how to cut down a tree." Because of the blend and variety, the blog has a broad
appeal.
Thousands of women also follow the blog. "It's not really a blog about gender," Kate says. "It's a
blog about growing up into a good adult."
Although the McKays are members of the Church, The Art of Manliness is not overtly religious.
"We really try to keep it open for everyone," says Kate. "We take stuff about virtues and being a good
person, incorporate gospel principles, and then put it in a way that everyone can grasp."

The M c K a y s ' membership in the Church has given them a solid framework for authoring the blog.
"The Church does a really good j o b o f socializing young men into manhood," Brett says. "From the very
beginning, we learn how to tie a tie, speak in public, dance, show proper etiquette toward a woman, date,
foster a relationship." Kate agrees: "Mormonism is so practical. Be kind, be honest, don't go into debt, and
forgive people. People have been bereft o f that kind o f schooling for basic life skills."
Between pulling the occasional all-nighter and not taking vacations or sick days to research, write,
and post four or five times a week, running the blog can be taxing. "There is no c l o c k i n g ^ u t time," says
Kate. But the blessings far outweigh the sacrifices.
What started as a fun hobby has arown into helping people live more fulfilling lives. " W e really
want to inspire people, help-bettef-atTdTiTipraTO-tteWies,^but also to entertain and just be fun s o m e t i m e ^
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Positive feedback comes from all types o f readers: inner-city teens with single moms, soldiers
coping w i t h PTSD, counselors in juvenile detention centers. " W e get the nicest e-mails and letters from
people," says Kate. "They say the site has changed their lives and made them a better person. When you
hear that from people, you do feel a great responsibility. I think, gk, I have to keep doing a good job^and I
can't give up."
K r i s t a Holmes Hanby ( B A ' 11)

S I D E B A R w i t h author favorite posts (possible video link)?

6 Manly Picks from K a t e and Brett
A Man's Life: Modern Maturity: Create More, Consume Less
Dress & Grooming: How to Shave Like Your Grandpa
Health & Sports: Are Y o u as Fit as a W W I I GI?
Manly Skills: How to Give a Manly Handshake
Money & C a r e e r : 8 Personal Finance Lessons from Benjamin Franklin
Relationships & Family: Romantic Love Can Last