Waldfogel 1

Megan Waldfogel
Bimonte
English 91
2 March 2015
Top Ten Lessons From Prayers For Bobby
1. People who do the right thing, won't be harmed. Mary said "that the sinner who repents is
promised eternal life. He who does not 'overcome,' who dies unrepentant, must be destined for
hell" (Aarons 23). Mary was reading this and she became frightened. Bobby died without
repenting. She thought he was in hell for sure. People who do the right thing don't go to jail or
they do not become punished at school with a detention or a bad grade.
2. The world is sometimes a dangerous place. Mary was pregnant for the first time. She went
to the hospital and there were some problems. The next day the baby died and had a proper
burial. She was convinced that this was God punishing her and Bob for their premarital sex. She
couldn't trust her own judgment and led the insecurity into her marriage, which caused problems
later. She felt like she could die inside (Aarons 37). We all have problems in our life, like going
to work and crashing your car. Our surroundings can be dangerous and sometimes even cause
death.
3. We are all different in many kinds of ways. "In the early days she never equated sissy with
homosexual. She simply feared difference. Others can be differentfine for them... But she
shuddered to think of her kids turning out that way" (Aarons 46). Mary didn't want her kids to be
different. She said that that was not right. Like everyone on this planet, Bobby was different, just
in a different way like certain people. We are all different. That is what makes us ourselves.
4. We all need to feel accepted by someone. When Bobby was in 9th grade, the trouble began.
Homosexuality was all over the news in the 1970's. Later, "a group of mothers marched by the
cameras in the pride parade carrying a sign that read, 'We love our gay children,' Mary wondered
aloud, 'How can they do that? How can they support their kids being gay?' Bobby probably heard
that remark. If he didn't, he certainly heard others. Granny often said of gay people, 'They should
line em up against a wall and shoot em'" (Aarons 52). Bobby felt alone in his family. Today, we
all need to know if people like our outfit or hair on social media. That is a form of needing
approval or acceptance.
5. Enjoy every day like it is your last. Bobby wrote in his journal during high school,
"Sometimes I hate it and other times I really enjoy it. Today, I enjoy being here" (Aarons 93).
Later, Jeanette asked him to go to The Embers Club to dance. The last entry in his journal was a
picture of her and it said, "This is a picture of my very best friend" (Aarons 168). This was the
last entry he made before he jumped over the railing of the overpass and committed suicide.
During that time period of many years, he had a great time, but one day he couldn't handle it.
And that day was his last. You never know when you will die, so live life to the fullest potential.

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6. It is okay to wish for something later in your life to happen. Bobby wished that he would
grow old with someone whom he could share his life with, after he saw a showing of On Golden
Pond with Mark Guyere, a senior (Aarons 121). Unfortunately, that didn't happen for Bobby.
Kids and teens all have a point in their life when they wish they could become a doctor or a
famous pop star or even just grow up with an amazing husband or wife and a family to call their
own. It is okay to wish for anything. It may not happen, but it will lead to other great things.
7. If you lose someone in your life, know they are still a part of you. After Bobby died and
Mary could imagine his spirit at rest, she read through an entry that said, "For when you venture
into your heart, I'm not as far away as you thought. Just remember, Mom, a part of me will
always be there with you and a part of you always here with me. And when everything comes
around full circle, we will all be together again as before... I promise. So please, stop worrying,
Mom. I'm fine. I love you all and I understand. I really do... See you later" (Aarons 179). When
you lose someone, they are never forgotten. They will always be in your memories and your
heart.
8. Everyone should have freedom to be who they want to be. A teacher at Ygnacio Valley
High School and Mary said to his class, "Our gay and lesbian youth should find love and
acceptance in this world. Hopefully, when you leave this class today, you will take with you
knowledge about the diversities of human sexuality, and... a broader understanding of people"
(Aarons 181). They said everyone should be accepted. Everyone should have freedom to be
themselves and love who they want to.
9. Challenging your fears will lead to success. May was ready to make new relationships and
fix old ones. But, she would have to challenge herself, fears, and hopelessness. She understood
what to do. Mary began her road show as a joint BANGLE/P-FLAG project to help spread her
story, which lead to much success and her being at peace. When we finally face a fear, we feel
liberated when we finish. That fear is conquered with some benefits to come along.
10. Don't turn to suicide. Get help. p.212 One winner of the Bobby Griffith Scholarship,
Daniel Layer, was gay. He had gone through many hard times. By the age of 16, he broke up
with his schoolmate and his grades dropped. He couldn't see a future for himself so he figured
out the most painless and least messy way to commit suicide. "One afternoon, with his mother at
work, he cleared the house of pets and plants, sealed the windows, extinguished the pilot lights,
turned on the gas oven, and put his head inside" (Aarons 212). He didn't end up dying because he
received a phone call and heard people cared about him. He wanted to live. If the call came 3
minutes later, it would've been too late. He learned strength and courage from Mary to survive.
There are plenty of ways to receive help if you are thinking about self harm. There is always
someone who cares. Don't find out almost to late like Daniel did.

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Works Cited
Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay
Son. San Francisco, CA: HarperSanFrancisco, 1995. Print.