VISION Emotional _Intelligence at Work f you think apalyticat skills, company loyalty ‘workplace, it's time to think again. Most experts now agree that those who climb the corporate ladder most quickly are those who possess.a high degree | of emotional intelligence (EI). Simply put, EI is the ability to make your emotions work for you by using them in ways that produce the results you want. The good news is that, unlike IQ and other traditional measures of intelligence, EI can be developed and dramatically increased, In the 1980s, Dr Hendrie Weisinger began doing consulting work for corporations and saw how the inability to manage emotions and communicate effectively often lead to unresolved and repetitive conflicts among staff, low morale, and diminished productivity’ Emotional Intelligence at Work represents the culmination of his years of research and his work ‘on how emotional intelligence can be used in a wide variety of companies. The application of EI within organisations will fesult in measurable boosts in enthusiasm, creativity, productivity and competitiveness This summary is a hands-on guide with practical advice for how we can master the core competencies of self-awareness, emotional management and the implementation of El within the workplace. RRP $AUD10.50 (non subsriter) By Hendrie Weisinger, PhD PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTEMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK About The Author oie Weiinger tac 8 ae f executive and MBA ape propa & UA Se NN an he WEY Cringon He 3 ere and exdng, athe vrehenc a number of a psychologist ; “pplication of emotional rity on THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Quite simply, emotional intelligence isthe intelligent use of your emotions: you intentionally make your emotions work for you by using them to help guide your behaviour and thinking in ways that enhance your results Applications of emotional intelligence in the workplace are almost infinite, Emotional intelligence is instramental in resolving a sticky problem with a co-worker, closing a deal with 2 difficult customer, criticising your boss, staying on top ofa task until itis completed and many other challenges affecting your success. Your emotional intelligence derives from four basic elements, that operate like the building blocks of DNA. Each building block represents abilities that together give rise to your ‘emotional intelligence. They are hierarchical, with each level incorporating and building upon che capabilities ofall the previous ones. The four building blocks are: 1. The ability to accurately perceive, appraise and express emotion. 2. The ability to acces or generate feelings on demand when they can facilitate understanding of yourself cor another person, 3. The ability to understand emotions and the knowledge that derives from them, 4. The ability to regulate emotions co promote educational and intellectual growth, INCREASING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Developing high self-awareness ‘With high selfawareness you are able to monitor yourself, ‘observe yourself in action, and influence your actions so that they work to your benefit. By being aware, for example, that your voice is getting louder and you are becoming increasingly angry at a client who is making yet another unreasonable demand — and recognising, of course, how important your client is to your ongoing employment — you ‘might lower your voice, defise your anger and respond to your client respectfilly High sel-awareness isthe foundation ‘upon which all other emotional intelligence skills are bul Your emotions can about \ give you valuable information yourself, other people and situations. An angey outburst tunleashed on a co-worker might let you know that you are fReling overwhelmed by an unreasonable workload. Anxiety about an upcoming presentation could tell you that you need to be better prepared with facts and figures. By tapping. into the information that your emotions provide, you are able to alter your behaviour and ¢hinking in such a way that you can tum situations around, You can learn to enhance your emotional intelligence by learning how to manage your emotions and motivate yourself You can maximise the effectiveness of your ‘emotional intelligence by developing good communications skis, interpersonal expertise and mentoring abilities, Self-awareness is the core of each of these skills, because emotional intelligence can only begin when affective information enters the perceptual system. As examples, to be able to manage your anger you must be aware of what triggers it and how this powerful emotion first comes upon you; then you can learn to diminish it and use it appropriately'To short-circuit dejection so you can motivate yourself, you must be aware of how you allow negative statements about yourself to sabotage your work. To help others help themselves, you must be aware of your emotional involvement in the relationship, High sl-awareness enables you to monitor yours to observe yourself in action, Given that you are the cente cof your own univer, you mat fit understand what iti that makes you do wat you do before you can begin to alter your actions for beter rea.cy SELECTED AS ESSENTIAL READING FOR BUSINESS PEOPLE Lacking self-awareness, you lack sufficient information to ake effective decisions. Presumably you wouldn't decide to go with one vendor over another without getting. background information about each of the candidates, because by doing so you handicap your position. Similarly, when you operate fiom a position of low self-awareness, you handicap your response to people and situations by approaching them with inadequate information. ‘You can increase your self-awareness, Specifically, you have to (1) examine how you make appraisals, (2) tune into your senses, (3) get in touch with your feelings, (4) learn what ‘your intentions are, and (5) pay attention to your actions. Examine how you make appraisals: Appraisals are all the ) different impressions, interpretations, evaluations and expectations you have about yourself other people and situations. They are influenced by the various factors that shape your personality (family background, previous experiences, natural abilities, systems or belief) and they generally take the form of thoughts or an inner dialogue. If you recognise that you tend to puta negative spin on your appraisals (This presentation is going to be a disaster, I'm going to bow this deal) you can ty to give a positive spin to your inner dialogue (P'm going (0 do fme; Ihave all the facts at hand; the points ae all in order) This enables you to reassure yourself, relax, and make the presentation clearly and effectively. Tips for becoming aware of how you make appraisals Use Lehink statements think that’ a good idea “These statements help you darfy what you think and you also recognise that you are the person responsible for these appraisals Regularly engage in an inner dialogue. Gradually you become aware of patterns in your inner dialogue, perhaps they reflect on an insecurity, raise doubts or take the positive route. You can examine whether your inner clalogues work for or against you Reflect on encounters when you are calm, Your appraisals are likely to be flexible and rational: this helps you draw more accurate conclusions 5 ‘Seek input rom others.Their responses might help you see i your appraisal ofthe encounter was way eff base, spot con or somewhere in between. ‘Learn what your intentions are: Intentions can refer to your immediate desires: what you would like to accomplish today, in a specific sation, in the coming week. They can also refer to long-term desires: what you would like to have done at the end of the year, or over the course of your lifetime. ‘The value of becoming filly avnate of your intentions is that you can use the information to help strategise your course of action. Suppose you'd like to know what it is you really want from your client. Do you want her to: 12 agree to a se as quickly as posible ‘¢ keep you on as her primary supplier ‘© be impressed with you so she'll recommend others ¢o you Ie you decide that (© what you really want is the quick sale, then you might drop your price ‘¢ what you want is 2 long-term supplier relationship, chen, you might drop the price and expend a great deal of energy in satisfying her every wish © you want to impress her, then you need to work as hard as you can for her ‘Your intentions can sometimes be dificult to discern: we see ‘our apparent intention but net our hidden agenda. Another difficulty with intentions is that they sometimes seem to conflict with one another, For example, you want to yell 2¢ your secretary because you're furious that she fongot to give you an important message. But you also want her to feel comforuble working with you. Ifyou ascertain that your «rue intention isto have a good working relationship, chen you are more likely to manage your anger and ess likely {0 yell when she errs. Pay attention to your acto Even though we are generally aware of our broad actions (I'm walking to the meeting; I'm sitting in a chair; 'm talking during the meeting) we are ofien not aware of the nuances of those actions: I'm walking slowly, 'm sitting slumped in chair, I'm interrupting the speakers each time I open my mouth. Yet it is these nuances that are frequently apparent to others. They may be considered clues to our attitudes and behaviour. Here's how others might interpret those actions. You're ‘walking slowly to the meeting because you don’t want to attend it-You'e sitting stumped in your chair because you areEMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK disinterested in the discussion and don't wish to be part oft, ‘You keep interrupting because you are rude and don’t wish to hear what anyone else has to sy Now les suppose this is what's actually going on. You're walking slowly because you are getting your thoughts, together: You sit slumped in your chair because you are tired and your back hurss. You interrupt because you have lots of ideas and are eager to have your comments heard. It’ easy to see why becoming aware of all these unconscious actions — speech patterns, body language, non-verbal behaviour — enables you to help others perceive you more accurately, Developing high selGawareness requires practice and courage. In the process, you learn to step back and observe yourself in action and evaluate the course you are navigating, Next we see how self-awareness helps you manage your emotions. MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS ‘Unlike suppresing your emotions, which deprives you of the valuable information your emotions éan give you, managing ‘your emotions means understanding them and then using that understanding to deal with situations productively. Because emotions are produced by an interaction of your thoughts, physiological changes and behavioural actions in response to an external event, you can manage your emotions by taking charge of each component ‘Then, because a distresfil emotion is generally caused by a problem situation, vwe look next at how you can bring your emotional thermostat (0 a level that allows you to think productively You can then use problem solving to come up with the best couse of action to take 10 resolve the situation, Managing your emotions means understanding them and using that understanding to turn situations to your benefit. Let’ say you are in a meeting and your boss resoundingly denigrates a suggestion you maile. Then he says that if you stick to what you'e supposed to be doing, you wouldn't come up with such harebrained ideas. A spontaneous, unchecked response would be 'You stupid, insensitive idiot Ifyou stuck to what you are supposed to be doing you ‘would see what a good idea itil" While you might be quite Managing your emotions means understanding them and using that understanding to tun situations to your benefit right, such an outburst on your part will surely result in another severe reprimand, and perhaps even dismissal ‘Here’ the emotionally intelligent way of dealing with that situation, You first become aware that you are feeling anger. ‘You then tune into your thoughts. The fist ones might not bbe so ennobling: He’ a pig, I could kill him. But then you engage in a constructive internal dialogue: He's being unreasonable. I will not sink to his level. [will not allow sy anger to show.Then you might rune into all the physiological changes — fast bresthing, pounding heart — you are experiencing and practice relaxation techniques. You look at your anger actions — clenching your jaw, ‘making a fist — and stop doing them. Then you give yourself a few minutes’ time-out by leaving the room to get a cold) drink of water. Finally after the meeting you seek out a solution to this problem of your boss publicly putting you down. In this section, we look at different ways you can manage your emotions. I offen liken emotions to a computer. In the same way that your PC consists of different components (hard drive, monitor, printer) your emotional system is made up of different components that interact and must all work together and efficiently for optimum performance. If the components fail to work as they should, the system can crash, ‘The components are your thoughts or cognitive appraisals your physiological or arousl actions your behaviours or action tendencies How to make your thoughts, physiological changes and behaviours work for you ‘Take charge of your thoughts: It is {mporeant to keep in mind that ei your own thoughts, bodily changes and behaviours that drive your emotional responses, not someone else’ action or an external event. Your bos‘ reprimand generates a number of thoughts. I could Kill him’ is one;‘I know my idea’. a good one’ is another. We ‘hear’ our thoughts by tuning into our inner dialogues. These internal conversations, which may precede,SELECTED AS ESSENTIAL READING FOR BUSINESS PEOPLE accompany or follow emotions, play an important part in defining and shaping our emotional experiences. For example, i's easy to see how the statement ‘I'm going to kill him’ can only perpetuate your anger, whereas the different statement‘T'l talk to my boss about this tomorrow" ‘can help reduce your anger. ‘The thoughis that spontaneously pop out are what we call‘automatic thoughts" They are different fom the internal dialogues discused under self appraisal, which usually ime some detberation ‘The latter we call inner dialogue or internal conversation. Taking charge of bboth kinds of thoughts is an important step in managing your emotions. Auromatic thoughts usually share some characteristics; ‘© They tend tobe irrational. Because they are spontaneous, they are uncensored. You may say something outrageous like ‘Td like to kill him’, even though you never have seriously considered killing anyone You don't have time to consider the logic of an automatic thought. ‘© We usually believe chem — they happen so fast that ‘we generally don't question them, ‘© They are often cryptic and expressed in a kind of short hands'Jerk’, ‘Liat ‘© They tend to trigger other automatic thoughts. This not only perpemates and exacerbates your feeling of anger, bat it makes it more dificult for you to shut off those thoughts ‘Automatic thoughts cen lead to distorted thinking. Take the instance of a boss who calls you into her ofice to talk about her slisappointment over the unsatsfictory relationship your client says he is having with you. Here are some examples of | automatic thoughts that might fash through your mind:‘'m in big touble’"She' going to fire me!‘ lose everything The ‘emotion you are experiencing is fear But let sit in this meeting ‘ith the bossa little Jongee You learn that your predecesor also had problems with the client and your boss is losing patience with the client, not with you. Because you went into the ‘meeting with insufficient information about the situation, your automatic thoughts jumped in with erroneous assesment, The nature of distressful situations is that they tend to generate distorted thinking: styles and patterns of thinking that colour your perception of reality ‘The nature of distressfil situations is that they tend to generate distorted thinking: styles and patterns of thinking that colour your perception of reality. Learning how to avoid distorted thinking helps you gain greater control over your automatic thoughts and manage your emotions. Develop constructive inner dialogues. ‘The difference between automatic ‘thoughts and inner dialogues is that the former are spontaneous and often counterproductive, whereas the latter are deliberate and can be productive. By avoiding automatic thoughts as such a8 possible, by cutting them off a5 soon as they start, and by learning how to have effective inner dialogues you can help defuse the effects of dlisresfl situations. Manage your arousal: The next component of the emotional system is arousal, or physiological changes. Feelings tend to be associated with specific physical sensations; nervousness with a jittery stomach, anger with warm cheeks ‘You can often get in touch with your feelings by looking at both their sensory and behavioural manifestations and you can ‘une in to the changes and use them as a cue that its time {0 calm yourself toa level of arousal that enables you to think: and act effectively. Increases in heart rate, blood pressure, respiration rate and perspiration rate are all signs of physical changes. They may be asocited with any number of different emotions, the firs step is not to identify which one, but to acknowledge that a change in your arousil level has indeed taken place. By instantly noting the physiological changes, you give yourself the opportunity to use them asa cue that it time to modify them. By modifying the changes, you can diminish the anxiety and fear, and keep them from becoming overwhelming, Remember, itt much easier to prevent yourself from getting anxious or angry than itis to stop those emotions once they have taken over By not tuning in to the changes in your arousal level, you run the risk of acting impulsively. For instance, your boss says she has some bad news and you immediately le forth an expletive you will later regret. The expletive suggests to your, ‘boss that you can't handle difficult situations. Your commentsEMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK only serve to engender and exacerbate anxiety fear and anger; all of whieh show. ‘The next step is to diminish the arousal as soon as we discern it. Frequent increases in heart or breathing rate can actually take atoll on our bodies, by causing a number of | adverse physiological problems, from hypertension to heart attack. So our physical health is just another reason why we ‘want co Keep changes in our arousal to a comfortable level The most effective way if doing so is by relaxing, When you relax, you slow down such bodily activities as breathing and pumping blood and restore your body to its normal state. This, then slows down your emotional response, giving you time to determine the best course of action ¢o take,There are many ways to learn relaxation techniques, Meditation, yoga, self hypnosis are just a {Guu Different ones work for different people ‘Take contro of your behavioural patterns: Behavioural patterns are actions that you tend to do over and over in response to a particular situation. For example, perhaps you yell when you ‘get angry, smile when pleased. Often we don't notice our own behaviours. We've raised our voice in response to anger for so long that we're not even aware that we do it. Become a good problem solver: To effectively manage your emotions, you need to develop good problem solving skis, the goal being to determine the most elective course of action to resolve the problem. If you think of life as a series of situations that require some kind of response, then no situation is inherently a problem. It is the ineffectiveness of your response that makes it so The value of looking at a problem this way is fist to see that they constitute a normal part of life: We cant always choose the most effective way of handling a situation and this means ‘we create problems, Figuring out how to best resolve the situation that brought on the problem is how to make the problem go away; thats problem solving. “When you state a problem specifically and concretely, you ‘put it in focus and force yourself to sce what is relevant and what isn't, Let’ say you state the problem situation this way. “My job is driving me nuts’. The abstract statement gives you no clues as to what specifically provokes you, why it happens, and who is involved. Thus any resolution is quite clusive. The emotionally intelligent way of identifying the problem situation is to define specific iritants.You ask yourself who, what, why, when, how: These might be some answers to understanding why your job is driving you nuts. “Lam given so much work to do. My bos is in over his hhead, so he’s not there for me. My co-workers don't seem to, know what they should be doing, so they'te not doing much of anything. I'm always frustrated and tired” Once you clearly define the problem situation, you can look at it difforendy. By reffaming our thoughts about the situation, we're able to come up with new and usefl responses. Here are some refiaming thoughts. ‘¢ The real problem ian my bos: and co-workers, but the fact that [ never tlk to them about the difficulties 'm having, The real problem isn't that my boss keeps giving me ‘more and more work, but that [haven't found a way to get help with it, { © The real problem isn't that my job is driving me crazy, bout that I haven't yet found an effective way of dealing, with the situation, USING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN YOUR RELATIONS WITH OTHERS Developing effective communication skills ‘The basis of any teatonship is communication. Communication ‘extablishes connection and connection forges a reationship. The value of effective communication skills in the workplace is incalculable, Wrong words, ill-advised gestures, or misunderstood ‘meanings can lead to very unsatisfactory outcomes The key to making these relationships and interactions successful 30 that they benefit all con: med is emotional inteligence. How you put your El to work i by recognising and responding t the emotions and feeling of others, guiding those emotions toward productive resolution ofa sation, and using those emotions to help others help themselves You wil eam five sills that can ensure that your exchanges vith others have the greatest cance for posive ouromes sef-vlosre,asertiveness, dynamic isteing crim, and Sef xchange, a give-and-take. Sometimes the best way to get losure: Communication involves a back-and-forth the process underway isto clearly express what you'te thinking, feeling and believing, Seli-disclosure statements usually begin with I think, feel, or I believe,SELECTED AS ESSENTIAL READING FOR BUSINESS PEOPLE ‘There sno doubt that self-disclosure involves a certain amount of risk, I'm not recommending blanket self-disclosare, but rather strategic self disclosure; you carefilly choose what {you care to reveal and when and how to reveal it and you take into account both the nature of your relationship with the person to whom you are elf-diselosing and the importance of the information you ate sharing. By doing so, 28 you will se, {you minimise the risks and maximise the benefits, ‘The key to the use of self-disclosme is recognising that certain experiences lead you to your thoughts ideas and feelings and therefore they are yours and yours alone, With this understanding, you not only validate your thoughts but you also accept that other people have their own: thoughts based on their own experiences and therefore valid for them, ‘When you accept ow ship of your statements, you are in essence telling yourself they have validity. This allows you to make your statements with confidence, coming from a position of strength, Assertiveness: Assertivenes is the ability to stand up for your rights, opinions, ideas, beliefs and desires while at the same time respecting those of others. In contrast to aggressiveness, which ignores the needs of the other person, and passivity, which ignores your needs, assertiveness is the emotionally intelligent way of having your needs met; it takes into account all your thoughts, ideas and feelings as well as those of the other party in a way that works to your mutual benefit. Dynamic listening: Hearing is a physical sense that most of us ae born with. Listening is a skil chat we have to learn, Dynamic listening beings 2 high-degree of selEawareness into the process of understanding, acknowledging and responding to another person, Self-awareness comes through grasping how we allow personal filters to screen and sometimes transform information we should be receiving, which keep us ftom picking up the emotional sabeext of person’ statements These filers influence how mach information, as well as what type of information, we hear. Predieaion ft: Especially in situations that produce anxiety or anger, we have a tendency to hear only what we want to heat, In some cases, this means hearing only the best of what the person has sid and in others it means hearing only the worst, ‘The Who fier: This Biter keeps us ffom hearing what is being said because we place so much importance on who says it. ‘That is what we know, or think we know, or the person speaking causes us to fil co hear the real message. ‘The Facts filter: Sometimes all you can heat isthe facts; you are oblivious to any emotive mesages. By hearing only facts, its easy to overlook some valuable information. Distracting though fter: Pm sore you've had the experience of siting in a meeting and somehow your mind wanders off to what youtte going to have for lunch, the calls to make afer the ‘meeting. A wandering mind can block out more than any of the other filters can. One way to keep your mind on what is being sid is by king copious notes. Ako, use your relaxation, response: This allows you to stay calm and be more attentive. Criticism: Criticism is lke a bitter pill; even though is difficult to receive, i is enormously helpfl Just as individuals, benefit from criticism, so does the organisation, How to give criticism productively © recognise that ging ercism can help people «make sure thatthe time and place are appropriate 4 protect the other persons self-esteem © emphasise improvement © show concen ‘© -manage your own emotions Tips for effective team communication Be inclusive Tak to everyone and seek nut rom everyone. Discourage dominance. You can politely say Jars let's ive someone else the opportunity to speak’ Be supportive. Gne postive recogition Een ifyou disagree, is sometimes a good idea to begin by saying Tinow youre considered this a great dal but what do you think bout 2 Keep the emotional tenor at a manageable level. Some meetings have greater potential for emotional volatility than others You might ask questions that lead the discussion in a less emotional direction for a while. Invite disagreement. Disagreement. can be productive, ‘we often learn more than we would through agreement. ‘This suggests valve in playing devi" advocate. Be aware of how each member participates and responds.EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK ‘Team communication: You use your emotional intelligence in group meetings to practice and encourage both self disclosure and dynamié listening, engage in problem solving and apply assertiveness and criticism where appropriate ‘The enhanced ceam communication that results enables the ‘group to resolve issues, generate productive plans and better understand how to work most effectively as a group. THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT ORGANISATION Beyond the practical aspects of emotional intelligence, there are three goals you should keep in mind as you go to work, each day. The first is realising how important emotions are in the workplace and to your own performance there, Although emotions ate powerful influences on our behaviour, for many years it has been considered inappropriate to show — or even to have — emotions in 1 work situation, as if our emotional makeup is irrelevant to business. Currently, however, an overwhelming amount of research shows that not only are emotions very much, part of the work experience, but to a lange degree, set the course that a company follows. ‘The second goal is that you fully grasp the impact that developing your emotional intelligence can have on your success in the workplace. ‘The final goal is that you comprehend the need to help ‘others develop their own emotional intelligence with 4 view to building an emotionally intelligent organisation. ‘You only need imagine what it might be like to work in 2 company where, for example, everyone communicates with understanding and respect, where people set group goals and help others work toward them and where enthusiasm and confidence in the organisation are ‘widespread, to be sufficiently inspired to encourage the development of emotional intelligence among all the employees of your company. eee ee ete ae MORE VISION For more information on emotional intelligence, we recommend that you read Emotional intellgence and Working with Emotional Inteligence by Daniel Goleman, Another ttle of interest is Executive EQ; Emotional inteligence jn Leadership and Organisation by Robert K Cooper and Ayman Sawaf, ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Suransed by kind pein of jssey Boss inc: ©1998. 218 poges. C) Price $3995 fs cave). T oer the . book phone 1800 626 204 The fl text includes farther iforaton cn deeloping interpersonal expertise and hoping others to help theses. + YISION Vision Business Book Summaries Bringing Essential Knowledge To Busy People A.12 months subscription of 32 summaries costs AUD §235 (AUD $250 for overseas subscribers) ‘To subscribe, contact Vision Publishing at: PO Blox 498, North Sydney 2059, Austraka or call +612 9954 5222 or fax +61 2 9954 5288 ) ‘ACN 055 452 492. © Vision Publishing 1999. Number 238, Vision Business Book Summaries cover Managerent, Marketing, Customer Service, Leadership, Advertising, Motivation Sales Training Entrepreneurship and Future Trends (Other Vision Personal Development Summaries incude: * ‘Thick Face, Black Heart by Chin-Ning Chu © Influence by Robert B Cialdini + The Cosmic Executive oy, Noel MeCrath non (12) 9954 5222 summaries, tapes, (Ds or books, simply ca