Im Coming (back) Out

Ronit Yarosky
I have decided that Im coming back out. Of the closet.
No, if youre wondering, Im not gay. This re-outing has nothing to do with my
sexuality or gender. Rather with my politics and religion.
I am Jewish. I am Israeli. I am Canadian. I am pro-Israel. And also pro-Palestine.
So what does this make me? Torn, at the very least. Over my lifetime I have gone
from dedicated Zionist and Israeli soldier to feeling at times like I want to renounce
my Israeli citizenship. Quite the roller coaster ride.
Those who know me know that I am not shy about speaking my mind. I have strong
opinions on a lot of issues the Israeli-Palestinian conflict being at the forefront.
This conflict has shaped me in numerous ways and over several decades and I have
been a vocal advocate for dialogue and a Palestinian nationhood. I have been
involved in numerous organizations working towards these goals. I have spent
many hours in the freezing cold or searing heat (depending on which country) at
demonstrations. I have spoken at conferences, on panels and in the media. I have
been tear gassed, spit on, screamed at, pushed, arrested, told my children should
be killed in a suicide bombing. While working at a Jewish organization in Montreal,
the board of directors deliberated upon whether it should be permitted for me to
remain employed given my dissident opinions. At McGill University, a Jewish
professor gave my Masters thesis dealing with the tensions of Israel being both a
democracy and a Jewish state - a failing grade (5 other examiners passed it with a
very good grade). Family and friends have stopped speaking to me. They have
accused me of hatred, of promoting fascism, of being a self-hating Jew, an Arablover, a sinner, a traitor.
Last summer, during the invasion of Gaza, I decided that family/friend relations
were more important than my speaking out. I decided to stifle myself. I didnt post
anything on social media. I didnt discuss it in public forums, make comments, go to
demonstrations. I tried to convince myself that it was ok to take a back seat, to let
someone else speak up, to keep shalom bayit peace in the home. But the selfbetrayal was enormous. There was no way I could keep this up it was only a
matter of time before political tensions flared way past boiling point.
For years, my email signature has included a quote by Arundhati Roy, that states:
The trouble is, that once you see it, you can't unsee it. And once you've seen it,
keeping quiet, saying nothing, becomes as political an act as speaking out. There's
no innocence. Either way, you're accountable. Day after day I was looking at that
quote, it was poking at me poking at my conscience.
I am accountable. I am accountable.
The election in Israel has thrown me into despair. In the lead up, I continued to
keep my silence. But now my fellow citizens have elected a man whose moral
compass appears to be eroded beyond reason. They have responded in great
numbers and with great enthusiasm to his fear-mongering, to his declaration about

the Arabs voting in droves, and to his clear message about perpetuating the
occupation and preventing Palestinian statehood.
My family, my friends, my community, my country: I love you but I cannot remain
silent anymore. Many of you may call me a self-hating Jew, but I am proud of who I
am. You may call me a traitor to my people, but I will not contribute to hatred. I
cannot support the shield of law and the name of justice being used in my name to
perpetuate occupation and racism. I can no longer look away in shame when
human rights are being violated generation after generation. I will not close my
ears when you say they bring it on themselves, when you blame the victim for the
crimes and moral degeneration of the perpetrators. I certainly dont have all the
answers. But I do know that this path can only lead us to the very darkest of places.
Will I be a thorn in your side? An embarrassment? Someone to be ashamed of? For
many of you, probably. This is up to you to decide. But I will sleep at night,
knowing that even if I cant change the horrors of the reality, I reject them with
every fibre of my soul.
Martin Luther King Jr. said that the ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and
cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people. This is a
tragedy that I will no longer be silenced into accepting. I am discouraged, but I am
not alone. Let's raise our voices, together.

________________

Ronit Yarosky
Born in Canada and raised in Montreal and Israel, Ronit Yarosky grew up in a typical Jewish family. She served in
the Israeli military during the first Palestinian uprising (Intifada), and returned to Israel in 2000 just prior to the
outbreak of the second uprising, when she became active in the Israeli peace movement. Ronit has a B.A. in political
science from Concordia University, an M.A. in political science with a focus on Middle Eastern studies from McGill
University, and nearly 2 decades of experience in programming, fundraising, and the non-profit world. In 2001 she
co-founded Women in Black Montreal, and in 2003 she co-founded the award-winning Montreal Dialogue Group.
Since 2007 she has worked at Equitas International Centre for Human Rights Education.