Revision Response and Plan

3 HOCs:
1) Development
2) Organization
3) Complexity of concepts and claims
HOW: When I wrote the proposal, I couldnt express my theme of my persuasive essay.
My main idea of this essay is to discuss the relationships and connections between space,
place, home, and homeland. However, my proposal made others confused and some of
the readers might think I had too many points in the essay. I want to clarify my idea here
that I dont aim to talk several topics but I intend to discuss the relationships and
connections between these subjects.
SOLUTION: I went to tutor appointment for several times and the tutors helped me to
express my theme clearly throughout the essay. I wrote an outline of what I stated in the
essay, and what concluded the relationships and connections between these subjects at
the beginning and the end of the essay.
IN THE FUTURE: I will demonstrate my theme in the proposal clearly in the future, in
case that the professor and my readers might be confused and do not know what is the
topic of my essay.
3 LOCs:
1) Word choice
2) Awkwardness/clarity
3) Verb issues
HOW: When I wrote the bibliography and proposal, I was very careless and did not pay
attention to grammar mistakes. Because I am not a native speaker, I use dictionary and
online translation when I do not know how to write what I want to say.
SOLUTION: I will go to tutors and ask them to help me with my grammar mistakes
when I write major project assignments.
IN THE FUTURE: I will read more books such as They Say I Say because I think I will
write more like a native speaker in this way.