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3/8/2015!
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Renee's Journal Entries: Tijuana, Mexico Esperanza International!

The past two days have been filled with lots of great food and traveling. We landed in San Diego
on Saturday night around 10:30pm and then headed straight to the hotel. I was anxiously
awaiting arriving into San Diego for exactly one reason: IN N OUT BURGER!!!!!!! I told myself
the first burger I would eat (in two years) would be from In n Out Burger, so naturally I had to go
as soon as we got to San Diego. It was amazing, as expected, and I didn't even get sick, so
bonus there. When we finally returned back to the hotel it was 12am West Coast time and 4am
East Coast time because we lost an hour to daylight savings. We also had to wake up and meet
downstairs at 8:30am so I was a walking dead person in the morning. !

However, I was super excited to cross the border, and when we got to the area I woke right up!
It was so chaotic around the border. Specifically, in San Diego, there were people everywhere
with bags and suitcases, there were people waiting for the train that would take them into San
Diego, exchanging money at the supermarket. Coming into the trip I carried little to no
expectations because I wanted to experience all the new places and people right as I
experienced them. Therefore, I was not expecting the crowd at the San Diego border or that
there would be public transportation, restaurants, exchanges or supermarkets. Once everyone
exchanged their American dollars for pesos, we started our journey across the border into
Mexico. The walking path was filled with what looked like Mexican natives, and I didn't notice
any other tourists besides our huge pack. I noticed the border wall that was separating San
Diego from Mexico as we were walking, and I couldn't comprehend how a such a wall could
create so many difficulties and controversies. Life is happening on both sides of the border,
people are trying to cross, for whatever reason, so why can't they? !

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Short story: Today Eduardo, one of the staff members at Esperanza, mentioned in his !
introductory talk how not all Mexicans want to come to America. Although many people !
tend to think this is the case, he was explaining how many Mexicans do not want to live !
in America because it is not their home country, it is not their original culture or where !
they grew, or where their family comes from.!

So if this is the case then why do we restrict the movement of people? National security is
obviously a priority but after learning in class about it, it seems like we pinpoint and racially
discriminate who we believe is a threat to our country and how best to go about deporting them.
It was especially touching to be with Pedro's family as we were crossing the border. They are an
example of a family who crosses between borders to see other family members and to enjoy
time in their native country, but while they legally can cross, they have to wait several hours just
to get back into America because of the border patrol and the extra precautions they make
Mexicans go through to get into the country. Once we crossed into the Mexican border, which by
the way we faced zero waiting time or lines, we passed through the long line of Mexicans
waiting to cross into the U.S. Pedro said that the line we saw wasn't even that long, and that
usually it is much worse and can take 3-4 hours to get through. !

We met Sean, PC alumn and Esperanza volunteer, once we crossed into the border, and then
met our driver Eduardo. After a long walk across the border it was nice to sit on the bus and
take everything in. I felt overwhelmed by the border, I felt angry at the border and I also felt
challenged to more fully understand my frustrations with what I saw. I want to more fully

understand the experiences of families with the border and how the border influences
themselves or their family. My specific interest/project revolves around health, but I am also
interested about hearing personal stories and "cases" that people have gone through. Speaking
of my project on immigrant health, I noticed so many advertisements and signs in Tijuana about
dental care, plastic surgery or other health-related matters. I'm looking forward to exploring
further what health and healthcare means to people in Mexico and specifically Tijuana, as well
as learning and thinking about the differences between diet and nutrition in Mexico vs. the
United States. And, as suggested in class by Kara, I want to make sure I weigh globalization in
as a factor that can influence diet on both sides of the border. !

I noticed both at the beach and at the grocery store that the Mexican diet has many differences
from the U.S but also some similarities. I noticed families buying soda, chips and other
packaged foods at the grocery store, similar to what a family can find in the U.S. I noticed
people driving by in cars eating Doritos and other brand name chips, just like in America. I am
curious to understand what the cultural norm for a Mexican diet is, and learn whether or not
fresh food sold in markets is more popular to buy as opposed to food in grocery stores. At the
beach there were vendors selling churros, sweets and ice cream snacks everywhere. Families
were eating chips (I noticed one family who ordered a dominos pizza), some were drinking beer
and hanging out. It was just one big, laid back party with tons of food, drink and family/friend
festivities. I could understand a bit at this point why Mexicans don't want to come to America,
contrary to popular belief. It seemed much more lively and exciting than any American beach
I've ever been to (minus a crazy, wild spring break beach). Families were together enjoying the
time together and listening to music, I wanted to ask some families if I could join the fun,
seriously.!

Which actually brings me to my next point/wish for this trip. I really want to work on my spanish
speaking skills, and I want to challenge myself while I am here to listen, read and speak spanish
whenever I encounter a situation that requires it. Being in a country and not knowing the
language well has really driven me to improve and work on skills. I think it not only helps you
personally navigate and fit in, but it also will help you connect and bond with others you meet.
For example, I was playing with the little kids who live in the house in the complex and I couldn't
really get to know them because I wasn't able to speak spanish well enough to ask questions or
understand their answers. I hope as time goes on I will be able to improve upon my spanish a
bit and come home with the drive to further improve my skills, for when I come to Mexico
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Estoy muy cansada, ahora me dormire. Hasta manana Mexico.!

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(See^^^^)!
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3/9/2014 !
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I didn't sleep well at all last night. My stomach hurt all night and I was freezing cold. I forgot how
tough service trips/traveling can be. I tried to make it through the day being able to work and
contribute but I just couldn't shake the nausea and headache I was feeling. Maybe it was the
tacos I ate yesterday, or maybe it was the In n' out burger? I think I'm not going to be as
adventurous with my food for the rest of the trip, since I haven't eaten red meat in a few years. !

At the work site we were laying concrete to construct the roof of the house. I began on the roof
in an assembly line passing buckets to one of the workers who dumped the concrete. I enjoyed
the time I spent working on the roof but after 30 minutes I had to come down and take a break.
Which led me to sit inside the house and talk with the mother and grandmother for a little while.
They knew little English, and my Spanish is not that great so it was difficult to communicate with
them, however, I was able to exchange some basic information like where I live, how long I
traveled to get here, what I studied, etc. After speaking with them I took a nap in the back of the
work truck for a while to rest a bit since I wasn't feeling better.!

Even though I was't able to contribute much today, I still enjoyed hearing from Eduardo in the
beginning of the day, and listening the families at the work site. I am really excited for Thursday
when we have a discussion with Eduardo and we exchange stories and learn more about each
other's lives and culture. From the beginning of the trip I was hoping to hear of people's
experiences as immigrants and I think Eduardo is a great person to learn from because he kept
telling us how open he is to sharing his life with us and hopefully learning both ways. !

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3/10/15!
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We spent the day demolishing the home of Berta and Benito. When we got there it was a house
constructed of wood and other materials that were falling apart, so we needed to completely
demolish the house and start from scratch. The process is a lot more labor intensive then it
sounds, because the resources are much more limited in Mexico then in America. We had to
pull apart the roof, walls and other materials by hand we didn't have a truck to demolish it for us.
I really enjoyed being able to work all day today (thankfully I felt better) because it reminds me
of what service work and service learning really is. It's both the process of working with a
community towards a certain cause or community stated need, and learning from and with the
people you are working with. Days like today are when I wished I had been able to speak fluent
spanish so I could have spoken more in depth with some of the family and workers. Santiago
was Berta's brother and he was a lot of fun but it was difficult to communicate because both our
vocabularies were so limited in the other language. !

I look forward to the up coming days when we engage even further in our experience here, and
together as a group we can break down what our service learning really is and our purpose for
being down here. Tonight at reflection we tried to break down the idea of privilege and used the
"backpack" analogy as a tool to more fully understand the concept of privilege and how it
manifests itself in photos/drawings//social media, etc. I really enjoyed hearing everyone's
perspectives of privilege and their reasoning for taking photos and sharing with others. Some
said they want to motivate others to step outside their comfort zone and engage in the kind of
work we are doing here, others want to remember the true relationships and connections they
made while having the opportunity in a foreign country. It was also interesting to hear how race
comes into play with privilege and how white skin automatically sets off a power dynamic,
especially when put into picture with someone of brown or black skin. The perception is of a
white outsider coming in to help others who are "poor" or "helpless." Yet those who are black
can post a picture of them doing work and the perception automatically changes. !

I'm also excited that tomorrow we get to see the clinic and maquiladora and to see for ourselves
the people and places we read about so often in articles and stories.!

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3/11/2015!
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Today we visited the Esperanza health clinic, an HIV/AIDS shelter, and drove through the
Industrial city area of Tijuana where all the Maquiladoras are. In that area there are over 5,000
different maquiladoras where 70% of the workers are women. They make around 62 pesos a
day working for 14 hours. I mean that is just insane, how can they make such a small amount of
money working for 14 hours, it just doesn't make sense, regardless that the standard of living in
Mexico is lower or not. !

It was really interesting to see the health clinic, it is part of the Esperanza organization, but
anyone can go to the clinic who needs medical care. There is a general doctor, psychologist,
dentist, internalist doctor, nutritionist and a vaccination room where children can get their
required vaccinations. Mexico has universal health insurance, it is only 8 years old, so many
people are covered under the government health plan, but the benefits and coverage is very
minimal and most people still have to pay 20 pesos or so for their copayment, and if they are
referred to a specialist for a more complex diagnosis or condition they only have to pay half of
the copayment it would be at the clinic. It is clear that this is to promote the use of family
medicine over going straight to a specialist doctor. Some pregnant women are sent to those
clinics in their 3rd or 4th trimester with their necessary medical records if the doctor thinks they
need to be seen there. We also spoke with a student volunteering with the nutritionist at the
clinic. She was explaining how it's difficult to get Mexicans to incorporate vegetables into their
diet because they tend to just have rice, beans and meat more so than vegetables. She
explained how the recent trend of unhealthy processed foods like chips, fast food and other
quick served foods are more prevalent and more people eat them than years prior. Also, the
diets in urban/rural areas are also different and those in urban areas tend to have more access
to unhealthy foods than those who live in rural areas. Also, we spoke with the main doctor who
explained that main health problems people come in with include respiratory infections,
gastrointestinal infections, obesity, high blood pressure, sometimes cancer. And she mentioned
that obesity and high blood pressure are recent trends that they have seen. This really
reinforces my earlier questions on globalization and the effects it has on health. It seems like
these trends are happening not just in America but also in other countries as well.!

Outside the health clinic we walked to a squatter settlement that was behind the building. It was
a former trash dump and the trash was thrown down into the base of the area. Now, homes are
built on the hill, however, it still remains an extremely impoverished area and many of the
people's homes are built with mixed materials that don't look to be sustainable. When we were
looking down into one of the homes, a women came out in said to us to "always remember the
poor." She assumed from our outward appearances that we were rich and visiting, and this
really struck me because it again emphasized my privilege as a white American traveler. I also
thought of the maquiladoras that we saw in class sitting on a hill above the settlements, that
reinforced the power dynamic between America and Mexico, and I got dejavu when I myself
was put into this position, unintentionally and unwillingly, however it still happened. It just is
another reminder of my privilege being here and to always stay level headed when experiencing
new places and people.!

We also went to the "Memorias" which is an HIV shelter for men and women who are infected
with HIV/AIDS. We learned that this is strictly run on donations and the government provides
little funding for the people, about 1.25 for each patient their. At the shelter, they provide

housing, meals, medication and treatment all for free. Eric showed us around the shelter and we
learned that he himself has HIV and lives at the shelter with his 2 sons and wife. He explained
how it is possibly today that you can have HIV negative baby even if you are HIV positive.
There are many ways to try to reduce the possibility of transmission. I thought that this
organization was so remarkable because even though there are AIDS clinic in the U.S, we don't
have any that provide all these services free of charge. It forms a community where people can
feel safe and comfortable and have a support system. I think that that stigma
surrounding HIV/AIDS is so strong in so many countries and that these communities help
people to feel comfortable, however, I always wonder in what ways these communities reinforce
the separateness of victims of HIV/AIDS and the wider population. There are many pros and
cons to both but it is something I still wrestle with. !

Tomorrow we are having a full work day, then going to see the border, followed by going to the
Casa del Imigrante- which houses migrants/deportees.!

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3/12/2015!
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Today we had such a jam packed day and I'm beat. We lost a solider (Stephen) because he got
so sick and I felt so terrible for him. Last night I forgot to mention going to the Xolos futbol game
in the main stadium in Tijuana and it was a blast. It was an awesome cultural experience all
around and the only thing that would have made it better would have been if the Xolos won. !

We worked on Berta and Benito's home again today but this time we dug up the foundation
which was a lot more labor intensive than it sounds. We were using jack hammers, sledge
hammers, pick axes, all these tools that I really didn't even know existed. I was beat after the
day but I also felt really happy that we accomplished what we did. Esperanza is truly a
sustainable organization. They emphasize community and service of others in the work that
they do and encourage those who are served to give back to their community and serve others.
That's why we see so many community members coming to help out even though they aren't in
the direct family. Esperanza also doesn't just give out free homes, they make those they are
serving prove that they can afford the costs and help them to budget accordingly if necessary. In
reflection tonight we spoke about social service and how it can either encourage others to serve
their community and give back, or create a dependent state where they just rely on free gifts
and services. However, I think Esperanza is encouraging a focus on community and helping
families to prosper and grow in their new homes while empowering them to help others feel the
same happiness and joy they felt when they first had their homes finished. !

Seeing the border wall this afternoon was extremely powerful. It was insane to see how a wall
can separate two completely different worlds. One being a lively, vibrant city of Tijuana and the
other being a cold and closed-off United States. Magali mentioned in reflection how she was
almost ashamed of Americans because we close ourselves off from Mexico and pin them for
being people we need to keep out of country. What made them so bad that we needed to be so
drastic in our borders? It doesn't make sense. It was also confusing for me to really feel the full
effect of the border, especially because I don't have any personal experiences myself with it, so
it was difficult to picture what a transnational family may feel or someone with an experience on
the border may feel when they see it. I just didn't understand how something as beautiful as the

sea had to be separated by an ugly wall. The only thing that made that wall better was seeing
the power of speech and art on the Mexico border side. It was moving to see the things people
were writing on the wall, speaking on humanity and how it shouldn't be separate, and protesting
the American laws. It gave me some hope that change could be possible if enough people feel
this strongly about our border policies.!

La casa del imigrante was extremely moving because we got to speak with deportees and
migrants and hear their stories and experiences with the border. I learned from Alfonso how
messed up and arbitrary the Immigration laws are. He had so many experiences in and out of
court and being deported, yet he still had the resilience to keep trying to come back. He wanted
to be there with his family, and to continue his life there, but he was getting unfairly treated by
immigration that prohibited him to do so. We heard so many others stories while eating dinner
too. I talked to Hermando who is from Yuctan, Mexico, and he migrated to the U.S when he was
18, worked his whole life, married his wife and had four children. He was deported ten days ago
when riding his bike to a local park and now is forced to live somewhere where he knows no
one. We also spoke to Benedito, who is from Costa Rica and was deported because of
trafficking (unspecified) and has been seperated from his family in Minnesota.!

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Back In Prov City!
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I can't believe Tijuana is over. It's crazy how fast the week has gone by. I feel so blessed to have
had the opportunity to work with Esperanza and meet so many new people, and see so many
new things. Yet, I always leave service trips, fellowships and my time abroad not knowing what
to feel or think. I ALWAYS think, evaluate and obsess over whether or not my time was
meaningful or useful to others. As I continue to do service trips and travel it becomes even more
evident to me who the experience is benefiting. If only I could spend a week in Mexico building
homes to Esperanza and work towards social change. But the reality is so much more difficult
than that. Service trips like this one benefit both parties involved in the service, but in much

different ways. We had the opportunity to meet and build homes with families, see
health clinics and speak with migrant/deportees at La Casa del Imigrante and this
changed my perspective on Mexico and immigrants entirely. In class we read and
learned so much about Mexican immigrants and the effect that U.S immigration policies
have on these immigrants, but seeing it first hand was something I could never learn or
experience in a book. There is truly something special about the power of a narrative.
Narratives as well as face to face interactions allow you to see the person's emotions or
expressions and always for you to empathize with them. I learned so much from having
this experience and I think it will enrich future learning regarding the border and
immigrants because I can put a face/place/culture to the words on the page. On the flip
side, how did the families we served benefit? In one sense, we were working with
Esperanza who may not necessarily be working for social change, but are definitely
working to improve the future of families. That being said, our service work in Tijuana
was definitely contributing to the well-being of families. We were a part of the process of
building a home, a place where they can share their lives together, and I truly believe
that to be special. I just get so frustrated that true, sustainable changes are much more
difficult to make. Building homes for families in need reminds me of the "stream

paradox" I learn about in my HPM classes. Basically, theres a doctor who sees
someone drowning in the river so he jumps in to pull him out and bring him back to life.
But right when he does he sees another person drowning in the river so he jumps in to
pull him out and bring him back to life. He looks again he sees so many people coming
down the river and it's a never ending cycle. This paradox shows how the root of the
problem, why so many people are drowning in the river, needs to be addressed in order
to have the problem go away (people drowning). Otherwise, the doctor will constantly
be bringing people back to life but never stopping why people are drowning in the first
place. Relating it back to building homes with Esperanza, Esperanza can continue to
build homes throughout Tijuana, but they aren't necessarily getting to the root of why
people need new homes !

I think my past experiences with service trips in the past, traveling to other places and
learning about these issues in my classes/internships, have allowed me to see my
service work differently than if I hadn't had previous experiences or hadn't been a
college senior. My very first service trips I never ever pondered these questions or felt
unhappy or frustrated with my purpose doing service. But in the past year or so, these
are unavoidable questions that I have upon departing home. Since I am aware of the
greater meaning or purpose of service work, I really want to discover how to make real
change. I read about real change in class, but putting it into practice is much more
difficult. Especially because I realize that the root cause of problems that need to be
addressed are much bigger, more powerful and resistant than some people think. They
require going deep into the social structures of society and the policy and history that
has shaped these social structures present today. !

Some people are nervous about going home and explaining their experiences and not
knowing how any words can do the trip justice. I also feel similar because I never know
how to describe to my friends/family how my travels are. They already have their own
assumptions or ideas of my trip and any words I use cannot describe the trip to it's
fullest. I usually tend to keep quiet about my experiences to those who haven't fully
experienced them with me. It can get overwhelming though to not share my new
experiences with those who are important in my life, because they continue to shape my
worldview, my personality and who am I today.!

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