Obituary:

Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

RIP PE
1855-2015
Physical Education, 160, of the United States of America
passed away Monday, March 23, 2015 in the schools of
America. Physical Education worked in the schools for 160
years. Survivors include all the physical education
teachers and students. Survivors also include all of the
supporting parents, teachers, principals, and school board
members. Physical Education was preceded in death by its
founders; Catherine Beecher, Dio Lewis, Edward Hitchcock,
and Dudley Allen Sargent. Physical Education fought hard
all the way to the end of its life and just wanted to make a
positive impact in the lives of its students. Physical
Education promoted physical fitness, health, nutrition, and
academics in the classroom. Physical Education helped
millions of students stay physically active throughout
their lives and helped them become more social through
physical activities. Today is a sad day for all of the
children of the World and the passing of Physical
Education will have a drastic impact on education, even if
it is not realized right away. A celebration of life service
will be held 11:30 a.m. Thursday, March 26, 2015, at James
Madison University in Godwin room 353. Memorials may
be made to the PHETE Department, James Madison
University or Overcoming Barriers, James Madison
University.
Poem:
Physical Education Advocacy
Physical Education is often looked at as a joke
And many schools cut it, when they start to get broke
Yeah, your memories of PE may not be all great
Your teacher was lazy, and likely overweight,
And the last thing they did was to help to motivate
Intimidating fitness tests is what they create
And in front of the whole class, they'd scream out your
weight
Wow Johnny, you weigh 288!

Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

Walking back with the other students starring and

chuckling
This just makes him feel like the ugly duckling
And because of that, Johnny will grow up to hate PE and
exercise
But this common situation is just a disguise,
For what a good program can bring to the table
We will not settle for this kind of label
We as advocates have something to say
PE isn't something that you can just throw away
We are teaching your kids about health and getting
exercise,
And how ordering apple slices is better than fries.
We teach kids how to live a better lifestyle,
Before our class, they had never even heard about bile.
Yes, it is a great time to put all of your stresses away
But it's not just about coming in to mess around and play
Soccer, basketball, volleyball, and having a field day,
It can actually help you write a better essay.
Do you actually know the benefits of having good PE?
It can raise your test scores from a D to a B
You see, it is proven to help with grades in all of your
subjects,
But we teach so much more than that, safe sex,
Tobacco, drug, and alcohol abuse,
These are the topics students always see on the news.
The rules of driving, and what it means to be burnt out,
These are all subjects of what being a PE Teacher is all
about.
We give the students a broader range of knowledge,
And all we want is for you people to acknowledge,
That PE is just as important as the "core subjects"
And the information we teach certainly has some affects.
The new breed of teachers are finally here
And the old way of doing things are going to disappear
Now about your excuse of why PE must go,
I think you realize that its a no no,
It is quite absurd
And needs to be murdered.

Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

We wont call a cop, this isn't a flop

Because the fire I spit puts PE on top.
*mic drop*

Comic:

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Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

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Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

Police Report:

Lyss Formica
Monica Klock
Aaron Newmarker

School Board Stupidity: The local school board has passed

a new rule to limit students to one day per week in physical
education. This is in efforts to raise students SOL scores.
Scores however are at an all time low following this move.
Parents will look to sue.
Teacher Ignorance: Mr. Jigglepuff of Chris P. Kreme Middle
School reportedly refused to allow students to go to PE class,
and instead had them work on their book reports. Students
complained that his jelly donut filling spilled on their final
reports. Charges will be filed.