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  • Persuasive Essay Revisions Reflection

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    Revisions to persuasive essay clarify wording and sentence structure. Passive voice such as "had helped" and "was still feeling" replaced with "helped" and "felt"

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    Revisions to persuasive essay clarify wording and sentence structure. Passive voice such as "had helped" and "was still feeling" replaced with "helped" and "felt"

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    11 views1 page

    Persuasive Essay Revisions Reflection

    Uploaded by

    api-285835022
    Revisions to persuasive essay clarify wording and sentence structure. Passive voice such as "had helped" and "was still feeling" replaced with "helped" and "felt"

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
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    PersuasiveEssayRevisionsReflection

    Ichosetorevisemypersuasiveessayinordertoclarifywordingand
    sentencestructure.Themainmethodsofachievingthisgoalweretoreplacemultiple
    instancesofthepastperfecttenseandpassivevoice.Theintroductionparagraphwas
    clarifiedthroughchangingsentencessuchasForthepasttenminutesIhadbeen
    rehearsingmycommentsoverandoveragaininmyheadtoIrehearsedthecomments
    overandoveragaininmyhead.Additionally,thesentenceIhadnoideawhattosayor
    howtosayitbecameIhadnoideahowtotellthemIwasleaving.Ibelievethatthese
    changesbringmoreclarityandbrevitytotheintroductionparagraph.
    InthebodyofmypaperIchangedpassivevoicesuchashadhelpedandwas
    stillfeelingtosimplyhelpedandfelt.Anexampleofthisrevisionisseeninthe
    concludingsentencesofparagraph2.ThesentencesEachoneofthemhadhelpedme
    becomethestrong,confidentteacherthatIamtoday.Despitetheirbestefforts,Iwasstill
    feelingtheintensepressuresharedbymanyteachersinthecharterschoolsystem
    becameEachoneofthemhelpedmebecomeastrong,confidentteacher.Despitetheir
    bestefforts,Iwasstillfelttheintensepressuresharedbymanyteachersatcharter
    schools.Withsmallrevisionstothewordingofthispairofsentencesandtheremovalof
    passivevoice,theybecomemorereadableandflowmoreeffectively.
    Whilemostofmychangesweresmall,theycreatedaconsistentverbtenseand
    readability.Ioriginallyreceiveda90%onthispaper.ThesectionsthatIdidnotreceive
    fullpointsonrelatedtopurposefulwordingandclearcommunicationofideas.Ihopeto
    improvethatratingwiththesepaperrevisions.

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