Jack Weir

English 111
Marcum
March 23, 2015

Reading like a Pro

When my English teacher first told me about my assignment, I was a little skeptical.
What is your definition of Literacy? I blanked. Literacy was something I had come to grasp
naturally; certainly not a definitive moment where I came to some form of epiphany. Because of
this, I spent much of the week thinking over my life, searching for some event that could prove I
was a literate being. It was difficult, considering literacy was something I never thought of
consciously. I racked my brain, searching every nook and cranny for something that could help
me explain myself. The process was made all the more difficult due to my basic understanding of
literacy. Despite what others may see, I look at literacy as a defining moment in reading, not
writing. Using this concept, I discovered many more memories of my early English days, much
of which was dominated by books, not pencils. Like I said, it took nearly a full week to find the
right moment in time, but today, I believe I can share with you one of those defining moments.
My fifth grade year was a boring one. I liked my classmates but the inevitability that
school is learning on a one way track resulted in my time and focus being spent elsewhere. Not
that I skipped school, I just read what I wanted to read. I spent much of my days in the class
reading. Of all the books I read within that year, one stood out as being challenging, confusing,
and certainly far above my reading skill at the time. Joseph Hellers Catch 22 was revered by
critics for it comedic, yet masterful approach to a helpless pilot in war. I especially recall the first
page, as it spent much of the time explaining the main character, Yossarian, feelings of jaundice.
At the time, I had not the faintest idea of what jaundice meant, but the book kept using the word,

Jack Weir
English 111
Marcum
March 23, 2015

over and over and over. It angered me, then and now, partly because I didnt know what it meant,
and partly because looking back I realize I could have simply looked the word up. Later on when
I discovered what it meant I felt like somewhat of a fool, but I felt better knowing it really was
not that big of a deal.
The book itself was big; at least for my young fifth grade self. It seemed to tower above
my other readings; a daunting challenge waiting to be conquered. The cover made very little
sense, and the back of the book was probably more confusing to me than the first page was. I
spent much of my first couple days with the book reading the first chapter again and again.
Hellers use of language was far beyond my comprehension, yet I still continued to trudge
through the book ever so slowly. Sometimes it almost made me angry. I would grow frustrated
with myself as I continued to read and reread a page, never seeming to comprehend it any better.
Innumerable are the times when I stopped and realized I had no clue what was going on in the
book. The thought of giving up occurred many times, though it wouldnt be until about three
quarters through the year before I chose that option.
I thought of myself at the time as being very literate. I read the Harry Potter books in my
third grade year, and had little difficulty understanding the series language. I took a reading test
in fourth grade, which declared I read at a tenth grade level. I even read Treasure Island, by
Robert Louis Stevenson, in my fourth year of elementary school. These accolades made me feel
ready for a classical novel, hailed by critics everywhere for its masterful use of the English
language. Despite these achievements, I was still largely unprepared for the challenge that

Jack Weir
English 111
Marcum
March 23, 2015

waited; something I could not have possibly known at the time. I moved ever on, ever so slowly
through the book, struggling with each page, each line, even each word. My patience was
waning, and the thought of failure flew across my mind at a more daily occurrence. By the
halfway point in the year, I was only one hundred pages into the book. Had you asked me then to
give you a summary, it would have been jumbled jargon, and your time would have easily been
better spent reading spark notes.
I felt a lot of pressure to get the book done throughout most of the year. Kids in my class
had taken notice of the difficult book, and even my teacher asked me if I was sure I wanted to
read such a challenging novel. I refrained from telling my classmates of my struggle, I wanted to
finish the book; no, I needed to finish the book. I would grow weary sometimes of reading the
same couple pages, and would simply give up trying to grasp the convoluted jumble of words.
Looking back, I realize I may have been one hundred pages into the book, but I might as well
have picked it up yesterday. With March nearing, I decided it was probably time to throw in the
towel.
Do I regret my decision to not finish the book? No. It was incredibly difficult at the time,
which made the book itself very uninteresting. I would love to go back and read it now, as I
know I am more than capable of handling such a task in the present. So, how did I feel literate?
The truth is, I did not. My failure at the time demonstrated my lack of understanding of the
English language. It is, however, for that very reason that I can conclude I am a literate being.
Only someone with an understanding of their language could reach the conclusion that they are

Jack Weir
English 111
Marcum
March 23, 2015

not ready for certain works in said language. I knew I understood the English language at the
time, just not to the extent in which I needed. That is what being literate is truly about; being able
to understand that some works are beyond your comprehension. Even now, the same problem
haunts me, as Ruth Benedicts The Chrysanthemum and the Sword laughs in my face as it gathers
dust on my bookshelf. Looking back I realize what a daunting task the book truly presented itself
as. Therefore, it is your understanding of your limits as a literate being that can also prove your
proficiency at literacy. I could be considered literate in fifth grade, and even today some eight
years later books still evade me due to their intense language. It is a confusing idea to think
about, much like Catch 22. Also, just like Hellers novel, my definition of literacy seems to
mirror a paradox, using the opposite side of the idea of being literate to prove said literacy. Oh
the irony of the English language. How I am so glad that I am literate enough to see it for what it
truly is: a Catch 22.