Robocop 2014 Review

So heres a challenge. Lets get through this review without comparing this new 2014 remake of
Robocop to its original 1987 hit. Seriously. Im going to do it. Not once am I going to mention the fact
that Robocop (1987) is better in almost every single way to Robocop (2014). Not once. Not even
once.
So lets do a very brief synopsis before we dive on in. Robocop is set in a satirical not-so-distant
dystopian future, in which important public and military services have been privatised and sold off to
big, soulless and greedy corporations. The plot is heavily character driven, revolving mostly around
its protagonist, Alex Murphy. Alex Murphy is a Detroit City cop, and a good one too, but hes
reckless. Whilst investigating a delicate case behind the backs of his superiors, he angers the wrong
people, so they blow him up. Whilst he just manages to survive this ordeal, hes immediately signed
over to a particularly sinister corporation known as Omnicorp, or OCP, by his wife. Omnicorp have
their own agenda beyond saving a cops life, however. Whilst theyre permitted to deploy heavily
armed robots and drones into other countries, a political act in America disallows them from doing
so in the West. They decide to use Murphy as a loophole in the rule, converting him into a semiorganic cyborg that the American people can relate to. When Murphy wakes up in his metallic shell,
however, hes less than pleased. The rest of the movie is about Murphy walking the line between
man and machine, with Omnicorp trying to program his mind to make him more cold and efficient,
and Murphy trying to remain the person hes always been.
So lets talk about the films good points. Robocop (2014) is, to be fair, competently made. Visually
its fine. Its not breathtaking or cringe-worthy. Its just fine. Theres a few nice effects on Robocops
visor overlay which are well executed, but its nothing too original or innovative. Most of the
performances are acceptable, with Gary Oldmans probably being the highlight. The opening scenes
with the ED-209s in the Middle East are actually the best in the movie. Theres a little bit of social
commentary regarding the Wests ignorance to war, and it tries to provide a perspective from the
opposing side by showing some grim scenes of suicide bombers attacking the enormous hulking
automatons. Most of the action scenes are quite exciting, although theres very little tension to be
had throughout them. Its also worth noting that, although its taken a back seat, (and that back seat
has then been thrown from the car and dragged at the end of a long rope) the movie still tries to
uphold some of its observational satire from the original. Almost all of these moments come from
Samuel L Jackson, whos playing a right wing television host. His character both starts and ends the
film with unsubtle corporate propaganda and awkward, frustrating and misguided patriotism. The
whole thing reminded me a little of a news network that I wont mention by name.
But small red furry vulpine animals aside, theres really not much else noteworthy about the movie
apart from its shortcomings. The narrative was overall executed quite poorly, in my opinion, with
little to no emphasis on things like dynamic characters, coherent antagonists and likeable
protagonists. Instead, they just milk the cardboard cutout that is Joel Kinnaman of for much drama
as they can. The emphasis on his family life, and his struggle to remain human varies from
unnecessary filler to outright clichs. His family isnt interesting, at all. They should not be significant
characters, but it repeatedly cuts back to them so we can watch them cry. And then Robocop cries.
Everyones crying. Stop it! Stop crying! There is a sort of character arc, but its wildly nonsensical and
quite irritating. So Murphys sad when he wakes up as Robocop, and then hes sad/angry/scared for

a bit. Then hes sad/angry/scared some more. Eventually he becomes so sad/angry/scared that he
has a seizure. To combat this, Gary Oldman drains all of his dopamine and makes him unable to feel
emotions. For a short while, hes a little bit like Peter Weller. He even moves a bit like him, although
not as well... Im mentioning the original, arent I? Shut up. Anyway! So hes turned into a proper
Robocop, and the actor is suddenly more likable now that he isnt trying anymore. His family cries
because of this, and we get a few juicy shots of a child actor trying to look sad/angry/scared, but just
looking neutral, like a stone, or a brick, or a wall. In her grief, the wife tries to speak to Robocop and
make him come home. Through some miracle, this makes Robocop suddenly regain his emotions
and dopamine levels. We cut back to the monitoring lab and the characters literally say
Hes restoring his dopamine. How is he doing that?!
I have no idea! And thats it. Thats your explanation. Robocop has just been turned into a less
interesting character by the power of fucking love. He was Robocop for maybe half an hour, and
now hes Murphy again. They keep showing his face. Why? In the original, he only showed his face
when he was breaking from Omnicorps control. His face being shown was a representation of his
struggle, but in this version, they just show him off like a damn passport photo. The make-up isnt
even half as good as Wellers either.
You know what, screw it. Lets compare.
Remember ED-209? Yeah, theyre back, for about eight minutes of screen time. In the original, ED209 represented the dime a dozen fast-ship releases that big corporations dish out. In order to grab
a quick buck, they distributed them before they were ready, and completely overlooked massive
problems like their inability to navigate stairs. In the original, an ED-209 accidently murders an
Omnicorp board member and is later defeated by a stairwell, and its awesome. Now theyre just
perfect. Great...
The plot is also rather convoluted in parts, and inconsistent character motives make the whole thing
feel rushed, despite its slightly obnoxious two hour run time. The ending is a painful clich. In the
original, Omnicorp installs a classified directive within Robocops programming to ensure he never
harms an Omnicorp senior member, else hell face shutdown. Rather than trying to do this, he shows
evidence of the antagonists crimes to the antagonists boss, who promptly fires him. As soon as the
villain is fired, Robocop is able to shoot him. He falls out of a window and everything. Its badass.
In this version, the exact same thing happens... except Robocop overcomes his own programming
through magic.
I mean will.
He shoots the bad guy. The bad guy falls on the floor. The bad guy dies. The wife cries (because shes
there for... some reason?) And thats it...
Its not a bad movie, its just not a good one either. The first few scenes were nicely made, but the
final ones were borderline idiotic. The main character was only likable for about 30 minutes of the
movie, but Gary Oldman is likable throughout. Theres a con for every pro, really, which sadly makes
this movie utterly forgettable. Its average. Its meh. Its...
Wait... What are we talking about again?...

Rating 3/5